I see lots of other posters have had multiple miscarriages, I've just had one. I have a living DS of 5. I suppose I feel I have 2 children. Is that understandable. I wish that it was more acceptable to talk about my baby and not my miscarriage or the miscarriage. Because I feel my baby died, my wonderful lovely darling baby who was so small he fitted in the palm of my hand. I never even heard his heart beat but I loved him. I just want to know if there are other women like me out there who feel the same. My mum had 2 miscarriages and says she didn't feel that upset though they were earlier stage. I don't want to upset anyone, just wanted to know if anybody feels that they are a mother of 2 or 3 or 4 even if these babies didn't make it. Do you wonder what they would have been like? Does your family feel incomplete without them? I feel next Christmas I will hang 2 stockings, one for each of my children. I am so lonely for my tiny baby. Would only be 20 weeks now so still tiny.
My baby was even smaller, 6.5 weeks, but 'she' had a name and I used to talk to her. There is definitely something missing, and I do feel lonely and empty. I wont hang a stocking or anything like that as I dont think others really saw her as real at the point I lost her, but she was very real to me, and Im going to buy a piece of jewellery which will have relevence to her, only for me, and I will keep her safe in my heart forever.
I have a funny feeling that these babies aren't lost, that they will come back. Call me wishy washy but I don't feel that they are gone forever, that you'll never know your baby. Sometimes they just leave for a while.
I had an early mc a few years ago and have been comforting myself that my DD born after the mc might just have been that baby.
Hi Bally. All normal, I had my first MC in 2009 and often think about how old my daughter would have been now. I subsequently had DS2 and since he wouldn't have happened if I had not MC that makes it a little easier. Since then I've had 2 MCs trying for another child. I've consciously not thought about the future for those pregnancies which has made losing them easier to cope with, but I think most women have everything mapped out the minute they see a line on a test. If anyone asked me how many children I have I'd always say two because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable, but I'd be thinking of my 3 lost LOs. It's a shame it's not more socially acceptable to acknowledge them, but I'd certainly do it here and in your own home.