Here we go again, MC no3

(30 Posts)
Bakingtins Mon 04-Mar-13 20:18:33

I am supposed to be 8 weeks pregnant, but have had brown spotting for the last 5 days and since lunchtime have been bleeding and cramping. Kept my professional face on at work but have come home and collapsed in tears. This was our last attempt, we have 2 DCs and have been TTC for the last 18m with only 2 MC to show for it (also had one between my boys in 2009). I can't keep putting myself and my family through it. I'm too old, my eggs are scrambled. It's just shit.

squizita Wed 27-Mar-13 10:18:30

Jollster - thanks for this inspiring story. smile Bless you and your family!!

jollster Tue 26-Mar-13 22:12:25

Baking so sorry, I know how hard it is sad

I had 5 MCs, 3 MMCs at 12 weeks and 2 earlier MCs after I had DS (who is nearly 5).

I was about to give up, but got pregnant again last January. This one stuck, and DS2 is now 6 months. I turned <whispers> 45 last month.

I know too well the "can't go through it again". But sometimes there can be a happy ending. I hope you get yours, whether that is another baby or a real "moving on" and accepting your blessings and the 2 lovely children you already have.

(BTW my recurrent MC tests showed nothing amiss).

squizita Tue 26-Mar-13 10:02:41

Oh yes I will definitely ask if I MC again.

Thanks for the 1 in 3 stat- very helpful. I know lots of women have babies at 34+ now, it is just as soon as someone who gets their science from the tabloids hears I MC, they're all like 'must be your age'. Should listen to medics only I know!!

Bakingtins Mon 25-Mar-13 19:25:35

Hi squizita. 34 isn't too old, I was that age when I had DS2, now nearly 39. It's not as though at 34 and 364 days you are fine and at 35 suddenly you are infertile. I saw something today that said after 35 only 1 in 3 women will struggle to concieve.
Are you having any testing? I know they normally require 3 in a row before considering it, but I think age is taken into account as well. I was surprised that I've had no problems getting the tests I need on the NHS after seeing a reproductive medicine consultant privately. It's worth asking!

squizita Mon 25-Mar-13 16:41:31

Thanks for the sparkly - I am on my 2nd MC, no kids, so it's so daunting each time I try... will I ever be able to have a child?

I'm 34 and all the Drs keep saying I am not too old, and that if there is a cause it will be something like sticky blood. So hard when the media sees it as 'ping' one birthday you're fine, 24 hrs later you're past it... sure that's not how the body works. confused

Bakingtins Wed 20-Mar-13 14:45:41

Thanks sparkly It's nice to hear there is life after multiple miscarriages. I can't even imagine the pain of having 10 sad. We're in the process of having tests and I'm hoping there will either be something treatable, or something that gives us very poor chances of success in which case we give up. I know 50% of the time no reason is found, which leaves us with a poor success rate and nothing to be done. Still not sure if we will TTC in that situation or not...

Sparklymommy Wed 20-Mar-13 13:55:37

Bless you! I know everyone is different but i wanted to suggest that you don't make a decision now about whether to carry on trying. I had a mc with my first pregnancy. I was 17. It nearly broke me completely. 6 months later I fell pregnant again and I had a successful pregnancy resulting dd1. I then had 10 consecutive miscarriages. Even my midwife told me she'd never known anyone carry on so long. I became depressed and very unhappy. We had tests that were inconclusive. Eventually it was suggested that I try giving up work, giving my body a rest and seeing what happened. 4 months after leaving my job I fell pregnant with ds1. The pregnancy was horrific, twins with one being misscarried early on, but eventually I held my beautiful son in my arms. 3 months later I fell pregnant again and carried full term, having ds2 to show for it and two years later I gave birth to dd2. The pain of the miscarriages has never left me but if you'd told me 8 years ago I'd have four kids now I'd have thought you were being unbelievably cruel.

Snoopingforsoup Tue 12-Mar-13 10:53:10

I agree. The tests are a good idea before you reach any decisions.
The best of luck to you baking.
Thanks for your good advice recently thanks

Bakingtins Tue 12-Mar-13 07:21:54

In some ways I'd be much happier if I could give up on the idea, Snoop. We've been TTC no 3 for almost 2 years now and have only months and months of BFNs and disappointment, and 2 MCs to show for it. I think if I don't have the tests I will always wonder if there was something we could have done.

Snoopingforsoup Mon 11-Mar-13 14:04:08

Thyroid - I take daily thyroxine for an under active thyroid. I can't blame that though as my thyroid levels have shown normal on the blood test I had just before MMC.
Do you know, you want a third child, give it a go if it feels right baking. Take those vits and best foot forward my love. I know people who've succeeded. I don't want to get carried away, but you haven't been put off and I absolutely admire you for that.
I however am going to ensure I never put myself through this again. I am a wimp. blush

Bakingtins Mon 11-Mar-13 07:56:27

I'm not on thyroid meds. I meant an undiagnosed underactive thyroid is one of the causes of recurrent MC that could be simply treated.

nannyof3 Sun 10-Mar-13 22:07:43

Thyroid meds??

If u are on these, the dose will need changing, ???????

Bakingtins Sun 10-Mar-13 21:58:50

Thanks snoop. My kids presented me with lovingly made melted Scot-block chocolate in wafer cups with tooti-frutti sweets in, then thoughtfully ate them for me (just as well, they looked grim) and a lovely card to "a speshul mummy". It does make me more thankfull for them.

I don't know what to do next. We had firmly decided this was our last shot, the day I MC I was all prepared to march to the doctors and demand some sort of permanent contraception, but then lots of people including my Dad have encouraged me to pursue testing for recurrent MC. I want a third child. I'm not sure I can live with the possibility that there might be something simple (e.g. aspirin or thyroid meds) that might make a difference. On the other hand I can't keep doing this. I finished off the pregnancy vits since they have iron in, but tomorrow I have to decide whether to break open a new packet and it feels like a massive decision, which is ridiculous.
The chances of this pattern of loss being totally a random thing, based on a 15% background MC rate, is 0.3%. Being the unluckiest in 300 people is pretty damm unlucky.

Snoopingforsoup Sun 10-Mar-13 13:02:30

Hugs, Baking Tins. Today sucks.
I'm just hoping my MC will not be the only thing I think of next year. DC has made such an effort today and I'm so proud of him. I feel I should be up and out embracing his brilliance, not curled up here bleeding in pyjamas and doing nothing but eat and sulk.
I hope your day is bareable and your doggy stomp rejuvenating.

Bakingtins Sun 10-Mar-13 10:06:00

It's so surreal going through this for the 3rd time, it's like watching someone else. "Oh look, now she's got to the hormone crash - night sweats and random weepiness"
Today I was supposed to be leading the music at church on mother's day. I have cried off but can't bear to go and face them all and listen to the music I chose when I was still a bit hopeful. It's just another irony that this (being due to lead in the week I MC) has happened every time. Another shitty coincidence since I lead about once a month but one I had thought of in advance and decided I would not be superstitious about sad
I'm taking the dog out for a stomp instead.

BlackholesAndRevelations Fri 08-Mar-13 23:19:36

Oh Bakingtins sad xxxx

Snoopingforsoup Tue 05-Mar-13 13:34:02

Hugs and best wishes x

{{{hug}}}

Bakingtins Tue 05-Mar-13 13:20:16

Got to the bad bit.

Still here holding hands. You know the drill by now, so Im just keeping quiet and hanging on tight..xxxx

Bakingtins Tue 05-Mar-13 02:32:30

It's not confirmed. I had a scan booked on Thursday anyway which I think I'll go to, I need to hear that it's definitely all over, but I'm not really in any doubt. From previous experience, haven't got to the really bad bit yet, but have bled too much for it all to be fine, so not holding out any hope.

goosey123 Mon 04-Mar-13 22:45:39

Baking, its so shit isn't it. My situation sounds very similar. I'm trying for dc3. just having 2nd miscarriage in 6 months. I'm old. I should let go, but I want another. Its such an intense longing, I was so pleased to be pregnant again.

I hope the next bit isn't too awful for you, my bleeding has literally just slowed after few hours. Wasn't as bad as last time, if it really is over. Fingers crossed its all passed. I hope you get some time off. my boss made me take week off, I'm so grateful . Take care x

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScottyDoc Mon 04-Mar-13 21:27:46

Holding your hand. Been there too. Painkillers and bed rest. Lots of love to you and I'm really sorry OP. I know it's just awful xxxx thanks

<<here holding your hand>> {{{hug}}}
Has it been confirmed yet?

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