Here we go again, MC no3

(30 Posts)
Bakingtins Mon 04-Mar-13 20:18:33

I am supposed to be 8 weeks pregnant, but have had brown spotting for the last 5 days and since lunchtime have been bleeding and cramping. Kept my professional face on at work but have come home and collapsed in tears. This was our last attempt, we have 2 DCs and have been TTC for the last 18m with only 2 MC to show for it (also had one between my boys in 2009). I can't keep putting myself and my family through it. I'm too old, my eggs are scrambled. It's just shit.

WhereMyMilk Mon 04-Mar-13 20:21:15

Oh Baking, that is just shit.

Just shit.

It's really shit. Have been there.

Thinking of you. Grit your teeth, warm bath, wine, chocolate and painkillers. Lots of crying.

Is DH with you yet?

<<<hugs>>>

CaliBee Mon 04-Mar-13 20:45:55

I'm so sad to hear this. You popped up and helped me when I miscarried in January...its my turn to offer sympathy to you now.
The whole thing is just shit.
Have you managed to arrange a scan atall??

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bakingtins Mon 04-Mar-13 20:54:58

Won't qualify, I had a successful pregnancy between MC 1 and 2. It has to be three in a row and I can't do it any more.

SaggyOldClothCatpuss Mon 04-Mar-13 21:25:55

<<here holding your hand>> {{{hug}}}
Has it been confirmed yet?

ScottyDoc Mon 04-Mar-13 21:27:46

Holding your hand. Been there too. Painkillers and bed rest. Lots of love to you and I'm really sorry OP. I know it's just awful xxxx thanks

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goosey123 Mon 04-Mar-13 22:45:39

Baking, its so shit isn't it. My situation sounds very similar. I'm trying for dc3. just having 2nd miscarriage in 6 months. I'm old. I should let go, but I want another. Its such an intense longing, I was so pleased to be pregnant again.

I hope the next bit isn't too awful for you, my bleeding has literally just slowed after few hours. Wasn't as bad as last time, if it really is over. Fingers crossed its all passed. I hope you get some time off. my boss made me take week off, I'm so grateful . Take care x

Bakingtins Tue 05-Mar-13 02:32:30

It's not confirmed. I had a scan booked on Thursday anyway which I think I'll go to, I need to hear that it's definitely all over, but I'm not really in any doubt. From previous experience, haven't got to the really bad bit yet, but have bled too much for it all to be fine, so not holding out any hope.

SaggyOldClothCatpuss Tue 05-Mar-13 11:55:18

Still here holding hands. You know the drill by now, so Im just keeping quiet and hanging on tight..xxxx

Bakingtins Tue 05-Mar-13 13:20:16

Got to the bad bit.

SaggyOldClothCatpuss Tue 05-Mar-13 13:21:49

{{{hug}}}

Snoopingforsoup Tue 05-Mar-13 13:34:02

Hugs and best wishes x

BlackholesAndRevelations Fri 08-Mar-13 23:19:36

Oh Bakingtins sad xxxx

Bakingtins Sun 10-Mar-13 10:06:00

It's so surreal going through this for the 3rd time, it's like watching someone else. "Oh look, now she's got to the hormone crash - night sweats and random weepiness"
Today I was supposed to be leading the music at church on mother's day. I have cried off but can't bear to go and face them all and listen to the music I chose when I was still a bit hopeful. It's just another irony that this (being due to lead in the week I MC) has happened every time. Another shitty coincidence since I lead about once a month but one I had thought of in advance and decided I would not be superstitious about sad
I'm taking the dog out for a stomp instead.

Snoopingforsoup Sun 10-Mar-13 13:02:30

Hugs, Baking Tins. Today sucks.
I'm just hoping my MC will not be the only thing I think of next year. DC has made such an effort today and I'm so proud of him. I feel I should be up and out embracing his brilliance, not curled up here bleeding in pyjamas and doing nothing but eat and sulk.
I hope your day is bareable and your doggy stomp rejuvenating.

Bakingtins Sun 10-Mar-13 21:58:50

Thanks snoop. My kids presented me with lovingly made melted Scot-block chocolate in wafer cups with tooti-frutti sweets in, then thoughtfully ate them for me (just as well, they looked grim) and a lovely card to "a speshul mummy". It does make me more thankfull for them.

I don't know what to do next. We had firmly decided this was our last shot, the day I MC I was all prepared to march to the doctors and demand some sort of permanent contraception, but then lots of people including my Dad have encouraged me to pursue testing for recurrent MC. I want a third child. I'm not sure I can live with the possibility that there might be something simple (e.g. aspirin or thyroid meds) that might make a difference. On the other hand I can't keep doing this. I finished off the pregnancy vits since they have iron in, but tomorrow I have to decide whether to break open a new packet and it feels like a massive decision, which is ridiculous.
The chances of this pattern of loss being totally a random thing, based on a 15% background MC rate, is 0.3%. Being the unluckiest in 300 people is pretty damm unlucky.

nannyof3 Sun 10-Mar-13 22:07:43

Thyroid meds??

If u are on these, the dose will need changing, ???????

Bakingtins Mon 11-Mar-13 07:56:27

I'm not on thyroid meds. I meant an undiagnosed underactive thyroid is one of the causes of recurrent MC that could be simply treated.

Snoopingforsoup Mon 11-Mar-13 14:04:08

Thyroid - I take daily thyroxine for an under active thyroid. I can't blame that though as my thyroid levels have shown normal on the blood test I had just before MMC.
Do you know, you want a third child, give it a go if it feels right baking. Take those vits and best foot forward my love. I know people who've succeeded. I don't want to get carried away, but you haven't been put off and I absolutely admire you for that.
I however am going to ensure I never put myself through this again. I am a wimp. blush

Bakingtins Tue 12-Mar-13 07:21:54

In some ways I'd be much happier if I could give up on the idea, Snoop. We've been TTC no 3 for almost 2 years now and have only months and months of BFNs and disappointment, and 2 MCs to show for it. I think if I don't have the tests I will always wonder if there was something we could have done.

Snoopingforsoup Tue 12-Mar-13 10:53:10

I agree. The tests are a good idea before you reach any decisions.
The best of luck to you baking.
Thanks for your good advice recently thanks

Sparklymommy Wed 20-Mar-13 13:55:37

Bless you! I know everyone is different but i wanted to suggest that you don't make a decision now about whether to carry on trying. I had a mc with my first pregnancy. I was 17. It nearly broke me completely. 6 months later I fell pregnant again and I had a successful pregnancy resulting dd1. I then had 10 consecutive miscarriages. Even my midwife told me she'd never known anyone carry on so long. I became depressed and very unhappy. We had tests that were inconclusive. Eventually it was suggested that I try giving up work, giving my body a rest and seeing what happened. 4 months after leaving my job I fell pregnant with ds1. The pregnancy was horrific, twins with one being misscarried early on, but eventually I held my beautiful son in my arms. 3 months later I fell pregnant again and carried full term, having ds2 to show for it and two years later I gave birth to dd2. The pain of the miscarriages has never left me but if you'd told me 8 years ago I'd have four kids now I'd have thought you were being unbelievably cruel.

Bakingtins Wed 20-Mar-13 14:45:41

Thanks sparkly It's nice to hear there is life after multiple miscarriages. I can't even imagine the pain of having 10 sad. We're in the process of having tests and I'm hoping there will either be something treatable, or something that gives us very poor chances of success in which case we give up. I know 50% of the time no reason is found, which leaves us with a poor success rate and nothing to be done. Still not sure if we will TTC in that situation or not...

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