How and when to tell my friend?

(7 Posts)
HumphreyCobbler Sun 17-Feb-13 21:29:57

I too have just got a BFP after a miscarriage last year. It is a strange time - hopeful but scary.

MollyWho Sun 17-Feb-13 21:07:40

Thank you Humphrey x

HumphreyCobbler Sun 17-Feb-13 20:52:21

I think phone or email too.

Can I just say congratulations on your BFP? I think you sound like a considerate friend too.

MollyWho Sun 17-Feb-13 20:13:32

Thank you for your replies. I had thought that I would phone or email her. I don't want to assume too much but if it was happening the other way around I'm not sure I'd cope with a face to face.

andadietcoke Sun 17-Feb-13 20:03:43

Yes, definitely before. She'll need time to get herself together and paste a happy face on. I thought I was fine after my miscarriage, until I found out a close friend was pregnant. It completely floored me. To the extent that I'm not even sure that face to face is the way to go, but everyone's different, and you know your friend the best. I completely surprised myself with how I was (and DH who had to break the news to me).

HumphreyCobbler Sun 17-Feb-13 19:59:21

I would tell her in private, so that she doesn't guess when you are out with your friends. I think that would be a kind thing to do. I have been in your friend's situation and have appreciated a heads up.

MollyWho Sun 17-Feb-13 19:54:27

My close friend and I shared a MMC at the same time in October. I have since managed to get a BFP, I have a 6 week scan booked and will be seeing my friend (and others) for dinner about a week later.
I'm not going to tell my friends until much later, although I expect they'll guess as it'll be strange that I'm not drinking. They know what happened in October so i'm hoping they'll be sensitive and not say anything.
Although I don't mind my other friends guessing, I don't want my close friend guessing and thinking I'm hiding it from her, or guessing and being upset while we're out with others.
What I'd like some advice on is, whether I should tell my close friend before we're due to go out, even though its still incredibly early? I don't want to upset her but feel it might be inevitable.
What do you think?

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