Conceiving after miscarriage(20 Posts)
I'm new to this, so bare with....yesterday was meant to be one of the happiest days of our lives...our 12 week scan, however within moments it turned into utter devastation. We were told that they couldn't find a heartbeat and that our baby had died at 8 weeks, we are torn between feelings of mourning and clinging to the hope of trying again. I think I'm just looking for answers, hope or reassurance, we were offered 3 options and I decided to see if my body would miscarry naturally as I'm petrified that the other options may pose a risk to ttc again... Help any guidance would be greatly appreciated
Im so sorry that you are going through this. It must have been an awful shock. Take things easy and give yourself some time to process before making any decision. Your doctor should be able to advise on ttc after each of the options. Take care.
We are trying to rest, thing is your just left climbing the walls and wallowing in grief and as I have two children already I'm really concerned about the impact it will have on them (seeing me grieving and not functioning properly) don't want the kids that I do have suffering because of our loss....does that make sense?
I am so sorry to hear this I was in the same boat in dec I managed to miscarry naturally but the hospital booked me in for a surgical procedure 4 days after if nothing had happened and they did state that it would not affect ttc in any way in the future in a way I wish I had had it done as I spent ages wondering if it was all gone and this made careing for my children harder as I was emotional and distracted good luck for the future xx
LandsN my thoughts exactly, each day that passes I'm waiting for it to happen, I'm worried to leave the house in case it happens but even more worried if it happens at home in front of the children.did you decide to try again?
Yes I was the same and when it did start I was too scared to leave the toilet and yes decided to try again straight away just waiting for af now dont think I am lucky enough to concieve after 1 cycle but will see do u think u will try again or wait a while? One bit of advice I will give is have a hot water bottle at the ready as that was thr only thing that eased the cramps for me hope you are ok xx
Thank you any advice is welcomed....yes we definitely want to try again and I've been looking into it (as you do in these circumstances) and apparently your most fertile for 6 months after a mc. Really hope we conceive again as we tried for 6 months after having the implant removed and were overjoyed when it happened (until this hit) I just long for that feeling again and pray it happens soon. Have you invested in ov kits?
Sending you bags of baby dust xxxx
Sorry you're going through this.
I went through similar a while ago. I spent 6 weeks bleeding before being given any options as the Drs wanted to wait and see. In the end I had the op as I wanted it over with. My 7 month old was conceived a month later. Please don't make your suffering worse by waiting. x
Totally agree salcz I was just lucky that the day I had the dreaded scan was the day I lost everything well over the next couple of days but I couldnt have op till 24/12 due to no surgery space but begged for it at the scan, given the option again (hope I dont have to) I would do it asap and fod I have not used ov kits yet but will next month if no luck this time xx
Salcz that's great news!!! So pleased for you!!! I recommend the kits LandsN it really narrows things down for you, so I'm assuming that the recommendation is the op?
I would have the op if given the choice straight away, got a bfp this morning so fingers crossed xx
LandsN sooooo pleased to hear your news!!! Makes me so hopeful for the future, take care and rest - look after your little bean, it's been the first thing to make me smile since this happened!
Can't describe how happy I am for you!! Keep us posted
Sending lots of love your way xxxx
Thank you so much just really anxious ATM feel bad telling u all but wanted to prove there is hope I have just got to be referred to a consultant now and get past 9 weeks let alone 12 and I will relax
Thanks again so much will keep u posted!!
Anymore happening your end? X
Nothing as of yet just hoping it will all be over soon so that we can move on and start trying again.
I would be the same in your position...I'd be over the moon and so you should be, you can't let it taint this pregnancy... Although we will never forget you must look to the future cxx
Fod I am so sorry you've lost your baby. I've had 2 first trim MC and it is just devastating. Having had experience of natural miscarriage, medical miscarriage and an ERPC after the birth of my son (for retained placenta so none of the emotional baggage) if I am ever
god forbid in that situation again I would choose an ERPC. Talk through the risks with the doctor but the complication rate is pretty low with any of the methods. The miscarriage association is a great source of practical information. Once you are ready to try again, come across and join us here for support through the ups and downs of TTC after MC.
I'm so sorry to hear that you have been through this too....and twice! That must be horrific! Experiencing this once is soul destroying I can't imagine the pain of going through it again.
We have found much comfort in learning that we are not alone in this, and sharing our experience with like minded people has been a real help, thank you for your advice. My partner is hoping I look into the ERPC as he is concerned of what may be involved if it happens whilst I'm home with the children and possible risks. Think he just wants to know that I'll be safe with the presence of medical experts
I shall definitely have a look at the site you have recommended
I had a miscarriage last month at 7/8 weeks.
I opted for an ERPC as I wanted it all over quickly and couldn't face bleeding for weeks.
It all went ok, I was well looked after and it felt quite peaceful.
My ERPC was 4 weeks ago tomorrow and I have already had my first period- that was another reason for wanting it so I could try again ASAP although that frightens me as well!
Good luck and hope you are back here with good need soon.
I am so sorry to hear that, its awful and wouldnt wish it on anyone, at least now you can look forward and remain positive
Does the natural way mess with your cycle and decrease the amount of bleeding? I wasn't told about that element
I think unfortunately it's miscarriage and the pregnancy hormones that mess with your cycle so whatever method you choose you can't predict how long that first cycle will be, or if it will take a few months to get back to normal. For most people it's only a week or two longer than normal, once your HCG drops to zero your normal cycle gets back on track, sometimes it an take ages.
Natural and medical MC I found quite physically distressing, though everyone varies, and you would probably have less and lighter bleeding after the op. The other thing to bear in mind is that any of the methods can be incomplete, resulting in you needing an op anyway (or a repeat op) so it's worth asking for or researching the 'success' rates of the various options too.
Yes we were told that, it's a worry especially when trying to do it naturally in an attempt to reduce the risk (based on what we were told at he EPU) just to end up having the of anyway esp after putting yourself through the physiological aspects of it.
I had no idea that you had to contend with messed up cycles etc ;( I was hoping everything returned to normal and the we could start ttc straight after my first cycle xxx perhaps that was wishful thinking
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