Bright Red bleeding? V early stages.... Please advise me?

[chummy1]

I will be grateful to hear from anyone who has experienced pregnancy after a light 2 day bleed and negative HPT's at 11 days past due date?

I have never been pregnant and have no idea what to 'really' expect.

My period was 6 days late. I have never ever been late before. I am age 40 emotionally drained with trying....

On day 7 past my due date, I started to bleed. Very light but strangely bright red? This continued on and off for 2 days. More so when wiping after urinating. My boobs are swollen and sore. I have a dull ache in the lower abdo, which sometimes moves up to just under my tummy button. I am ridiculously emotional, crying at anything??? ... I am normally strong and deal with the reality that 'this may never happen for us'

It is now day 37 of my cycle. I am not bleeding. The dull ache is still there. My boobs are still tingling & sensitive around the nipple however my HPT this morning was negative?

Is this a sticky that has not stuck? or could I be pg? something has happened?

I am so confused.....and wondered if this has happened to anyone else with a positive or negative outcome? the not knowing is dreadful.

Having tried for too long to get that elusive + , we really thought that we had 'done it this time' ..... I'm out of tears!

I would REALLY appreciate hearing stories from ladies who have experienced something similar... in particular, missed period, BFN, 2 day bleed and a positive outcome?

Thank you and apologies for the rambling explanation!

[HoleyGhost]

Might be worth visiting your GP?

[teaandchocolate]

I think everyone and every cycle is different but I know my own cycle can be really affected by stress. If you're worrying about everything you're going through it can definitely cause a change in your hormones and delay your period. However I know how annoying it is when people attribute everything to stress! It is possible its a very early mc although I'd have thought you'd still get a positive test, even for a chemical pregnancy. It also possible that its a very early pregnancy and there's not enought hcg for a hpt to pick up yet.

I'd probably give it a few days & test again. However if you're worried something is wrong or are in pain go to your gp and see if you can get a scan. If all this is your cycle doing strange things I can recommend acupuncture to help regulate things.

Good luck with the ttc, I know how soul destroying it can be.

[ledkr]

Can't help with that but just wanted to tell you that I conceived at 43 it took four years. Might reassure you to keep trying of this doesn't turn out well.

[chummy1]

Thank you all for replying. Its a lonely experience (even thou DH is very supportive, he is away most of the week, texting and ringing but its just not the same as talking to other woman) So thank you VERY much.

HoleyGhost, i have been told that the GP wont do anything at this stage but thank you. T&Choc (lovely name) thank you for your advise. I cannot explain how much i appreciate you taking the time to write. I had not considered acupuncture however will investigate. Ledkr... it's nice to know that I am not the only older woman trying and your success story is lovely and reassuring to hear. Thank you.

I have read story after story about woman bleeding, having BFN and getting a positive at weeks 40 50 60 .... therefore i assume that the only real test is a blood test?? Our surgery have explained (kindly as I am so green at all of this!) that 6 weeks would be normal however waiting for my next missed period is something that i may wish to consider too. I can understand this.... I just want to know! lol! double standards or what!!

I am spotting brown today, tiny tiny spots and only every time I wipe after going for a wee (sorry if TMI) - My periods are heaving, so heavy that my GP prescribed tranexamic acid to reduce the blood loss. This 2 day bleed was not my period.

Well its day 38. I am starting to monitor for ovulation now as I would normally get a positive tomorrow. Negative today on both counts. I am still hoping as I still have a strange dull ache - more so when i bend over. Never experienced this before. I know its a small chance however I am not taking any chances and taking things very easy. thank you all....very very very much

[chummy1]

PS if any mummys/pregnant ladies out there have experienced the same as me, I would LOVE to hear your stories? thank you

[teaandchocolate]

You're welcome, not sure I had anything very enlightening to say! I think all you can do is hang on in there and ride it out. There's nothing you can do now to change things so just try to stay as calm as you can and see how it pans out. Unfortunately its all very random and hence very stressful and it seems anything is possible!

[TomboyWife]

For what it's worth, I had what I'm almost sure was a chemical pg that never produced a clear positive on a test. I was over two weeks late and did four tests in all. The second test was inconclusive, the others were all clear BFNs.

I'm almost sure this was a chemical pg because when I did conceive a couple of months later, my symptoms were exactly the same. If you feel/felt a bit pregnant, there may very well be something going on.

[chummy1]

Thanks Tea&choc - Spoken with GP today and they are taking a blood test on Friday morning :) The bleed seems to be the reason for the blood test. Are you TTC too?

Today has been odd - I suddenly felt very sick and tonight it is worse! very bloated .... whoooooooooo knows! I have everything crossed that this may be something (can hardly say the word now) but I am also prepared for a negative.

[teaandchocolate]

Yes we are ttc. I've had 3 miscarriages though (& 1 DD!) so I find it all really stressful - hence my advice to stay calm!! During my last cycle I convinced myself I was pregnant, even felt sick. But I think it was all just stress and hormones!! Anyway new cycle, new start. Am going to be zen this month....!

That's really good your GP is taking it seriously. It's great when you find a nice one! Hope you get some clarity.

[chummy1]

Good Luck Tea&choc, 3 miscarriages is very difficult to deal with. Knowing that you can have children is hopefully of some reassurance to you. Fingers crossed and you have some exciting news soon. My sister has 3 girls and miscarried twice. She believes that she cannot carry boys. There are so many unanswered questions out there.

I am now ovulating this morning! (clearblue digital), but tested neg on a Boots pg test too this morning! boobs horribly sore. Don't understand what is happening. Blood results on Monday. Dilemma....! try again today or leave things for a month. Time clock ticking... My boobs are actually quite painful today. I'm not the sort to 'imagine ' these things. This experience is a first for me. Periods never been one day late before! All that said, pg test is neg.... I think there is little hope of a positive pg test on monday.

[teaandchocolate]

Thank you. I wonder about the boy thing too as I know my 2nd mc was a boy as we had the chromosomes tested. Who knows though! I can't find anything about it on Google!!

I stopped trying last cycle so I'd have more clarity about when I could possibly be pregnant. However now I wish I'd kept on trying as i also feel like I've wasted time...the stupid biological clock is ticking so loudly!! I don't really understand what's happening either to be honest! Not sure how you could have a bleed and now be ovulating! But I know those opks aren't always that accurate. They only show a surge which doesn't always mean ovulation. They can also show positive when you're pregnant... Hopefully the blood test will be conclusive!

[TomboyWife]

There does seem to be something to the idea that some women can't carry boys:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/5094676.stm

[teaandchocolate]

Thanks TomboyWife that is interesting. I actually know someone who's mum had 3 girls & 10 mcs so maybe there is something in it. There is just so much they don't know about mc its very frustrating!

[chummy1]

Hi teaandchoc, may i ask if you are more mature in years too!? I am 40 (nearly 41) and my clock is ticking in my damn ear!!!!!!

I understand entirely the dilemma that your felt over 'giving your body a month off to re-balance and regain control of which days are which' versus 'just going for it again and not wasting a month' ! I feel that I need a break however....

....Having taken 3 pg tests today (er, boots and clearblue digi ) with all 3 being neg and 2 clearblue ovulation tests (both positive) we have decided to to for it again. Tomorrow morning, i am just too emotionally exhausted tonight! DH is so supportive and tip toeing around me .... I have been a little uptight today! poor guy!

I do believe that some of us can only carry one sex. Tomboywife has kindly listed an interesting link which may be of interest to you too......

lets hope that we are all celebrating in a month or two.... don't give up, I won't!

[chummy1]

Tomboywife.... the chemical pg seems to make sense to me too. Something has happened! I'm not completely bonkers! lol!

[teaandchocolate]

Do you know what, I'm actually 33 so not even particularly old but for various reasons I feel like the clock is ticking. I have pcos and have always been told not to leave it too long & ideally I'd like 3 so have always felt I need to do it before I'm 35 (although I appreciate I'll be so lucky to even have one more). Also everyone I seem to meet these days is about 8 years younger than me with 2 children which I hope isn't really representative. Plus DD is getting older (nearly 3) and she's the oldest child I know at the moment without either a younger sibling or a pregnant mummy. I've been trying for over a year and lost 2 in that time and just feel in a bit of a panic like im in some sort of race!! I sound pathetic dont I?! We have actually just taken about 5 months off trying so I really feel like i have no time to lose!! However as my last cycle proved, getting stressed is totally counter productive and just messes up my already crazy hormones!

Anyway sorry for totally hijacking with my moaning. In your situation I would just keep trying. I think at 40 there's naturally a higher chance of mc so chances are if you keep going you'll get lucky at some point and it will stick. The fact you get pregnant easily must be a good sign. Do you have any DCs already?

[chummy1]

I completely understand you worrying about age.... there DO seem to be a lot of much younger mums around these days.

I personally think that you are a perfect age to be trying for your second. If you catch soon, 4 years is not so bad you know?!? Its not a 10 year difference....

You are also mature enough to have lived and appreciate the gift of child. There are a lot of pro's to your situation (mine is too late, i realise this now) I wish i had followed a similar path to you. I very naively and selfishly thought that when i decide to have a baby, it will happen... career first! big mistake! We (the 40 somethings ) were the era of 'you can have both' ie career, children, home help/nanny etc..... the reality is that most of my friends with successful careers and children have struggled all the way and in all honesty, the children have missed out on 'special times'.... You don't sound pathetic (you sound like I was this morning and every other woman struggling on this site!) emotional and probably more needy than you have ever felt before! I had NO idea that these emotions existed!!!!! and here i am.... right there with you! We'll be fine... we'll keep trying until we get there.

I don't actually get pregnant easily, its been 2 years however I didn't really understand the complexities of actually conceiving until the past year... Now I'm focused and learning! bit sick of DTD to conceive thou... that is not much fun is it!?! the pressure!!! omg.... lol!

No DC's - this was the first time that anything has ever happened. I am STILL amazed at how emotional i felt! I am a softee really however I am so used to the tough working world, the personal emotion is all a bit of a shock to my system! I had no idea what pregnant colleagues have gone thru whilst holding down a pressurised role!!! Its not to be underestimated! Before this period in my life, i saw miscarriages as part of life....! part of life! what planet was i on!!!!! Life is one long lesson isn't it!!!!

When are you due to ovulate? deep breath! yoga?! I am considering this.

[teaandchocolate]

I completely understand your predicament and the problem with trying to 'have it all'! I had a pretty stressful career before having DD but I gave it up as we moved cities and I didn't want to do what my successful female colleagues had to do and basically never see my children. I also thought the stress may have contributed to my 1st mc. However now I have a much less stressful life with a part time job from home as I'm still having miscarriages!!

Where I live now it seems to be more common to have children earlier and very close together. However in London there seemed to be people having babies much older so I completely understand why you left it and focused on your career - I was probably the youngest person I knew in London to get married at 28. However here we both are. I feel like I'm now treading water waiting for this elusive second child having given up a career to 'have children'. My plans just haven't worked out how I envisaged. I think that is half the problem with women like us who have been successful in education, careers etc you think you can achieve a family too if you just put your mind to it. But it's not as easy as that and I am rubbish at dealing with my plans going wrong! I like to be in control and hitting all the ridiculous milestones I set myself. DH thinks I should just relax and enjoy DD but I just feel in a panic about all the deadlines I have set myself (in my head!).

I suppose what I'm trying to get at, and what I don't really take onboard myself, is that there is no point in living with regrets. We both wish we'd done things a bit differently but all we can do is move forward and enjoy what we do have. I was a big believer in life events changing us for the better. After my 1st mc I definitely felt that I was a 'better person' for having been through something so crap and I appreciated having a child so much more when it did happen. I think it also made me more empathetic. I do now feel a bit like after 3 I get the message, I'm a nice person so its probably time things started to go right but I'm hoping we will both look back at these rubbish periods in our life and think they happened for a reason...total wishful thinking?!

Anyway, I tried yoga but not sure it's really me. I am so not zen. Although I definitely need to chill out somehow. I do find acupuncture really effective if that's something you'd consider? I think I'm due to ovulate next week but I have such an erratic cycle that I really can't stay! I just hope I ovulate!

[chummy1]

tea&choc ...I'm not really sure about Yoga either, I would prefer to go for a run! lol!

I agree about mothers in London (they are closer to my age than yours!) however as you have said 'no regrets' ...

Think positively, You will ovulate, if you miss one month, its only one month.
We buried a very good friend last year. This does put things into perspective for me (although when i was bleeding, nothing would have put things into perspective for me!!!!) lol! The reality is that we are both very lucky to be happy and healthy with lovely hubbys! the next baby for you will happen....enjoy your DD, don't miss out on these precious times (nearly 3.... the cutest age!!!) Deep breath, relax and perhaps we can both try (together) to go with the flow.....

GP telephoned last night - lab tested my bloods for the wrong thing! Blood is stored for 3 working days, therefore the lab has been asked to re-test today! having taken over 20 tests and ovulating on Sunday.... I think i know the answer, therefore I'm not terribly concerned. My sister was beside herself!!!

Make sure that you have plenty of tea&choc today... :) and do let me know when you ovulate.... hold the faith x

[teaandchocolate]

Sorry for the delayed response.

That is so annoying about your blood tests!! Doesn't really give you much faith in the system.

You're right though I definitely need to count my blessings, stay positive and enjoy time with DD. I normally do ok at this but obviously have a few wobbly days every so often. Keeping busy helps but working from home is terrible for allowing me to dwell...& Google!!

No sign of ovulation yet although am trying to dtd every other day just in case - could not be less romantic! I want an early night (as exhausted tonight!) and DH doesn't...would much rather go to bed with my kindle....!!

[chummy1]

Hi teaandchoc how are 'things' with you??? .. Hope that you're staying positive??

Quick update on us! No luck again this month - We've bitten the bullet and applied to the ARGC for IVF! Living in fear that my clock may stop altogether soon, therefore we've plumped for the best clinic in the UK (no more Mulberry handbags for me ... !!) Even if we waste our money, we will have tried and I cannot bear the thought of not trying everything.

Now I am worrying that we are too old! LOL! DH is 54! so very concerned that if successful, our longed for child will feel 'different' to his/her friends ..... but praying that our love, contentment, maturity and sense of fun will compensate (we are both a little bonkers ....... and love life, people and animals!) Just wish that we had met 15 years ago....... but my motto in life is 'no regrets' ..hence I do all my worrying up front!

So how are you? and how is your DD?? xxx

[Bakingtins]

Hi - sorry to hijack your conversation but I feel like I can identify with a lot of what you are chatting about. Old (chummy) check, recurrent miscarriage (T+C) check, feeling like I left it too late - check.
Thanks to Tomboywife for the link which was interesting. Have been madly googling, I had wrongly assumed since I have 2 boys that there could not be anything wrong with me and it was just shitty luck, but there seems to be several suggestions that having a MC increases your chance of developing autoimmune responses towards a foetus, and now that having boys also does I didn't read it that it means you can't carry boys in future, more that having had a boy you are more likely to reject a baby of either sex?
I have always consoled myself that my body did the right thing by getting rid of a baby that did not have the potential to develop normally, not sure how I'll cope with the idea that actually maybe the babies were fine and it's me that is faulty
I don't know where I am on the 'trying everything' though I think in chummy's shoes I would exhaust every avenue. We had decided that this was our last try, but now it's failed I need to be doing something about it. TTC again has been a very important part of emotional recovery and moving on for me in the past, I don't know how I will move forward if/when we call it a day.
Chummy - best of luck for your decisions about IVF.

[chummy1]

Bakingtins Hello!
You aren't highjacking the conversation... we are all helping/supporting each other. It's a lonely old journey! I was the typical career woman.... thought i'd book a baby at around 39!! ..... easy right!!! ??? big wake up call!

I think that Google can be a monster.I have not personally read that having MC increases the chances of further MC's....and to be honest, I think that's 'too top line' for you to spend too much time worrying about. The reasons are very often complex or simple but analysis is required to really understand the route of the problem. MC's are tragedies.... and sadly all too frequent. If your baby let go... it let go for a reason however hold the faith. It will happen...... you can Carry a child!! and you will again..... I am older therefore conceiving is more of a challenge!?! how old are you ?!?! I am guessing that I am the 'old girl of this board' ?!?! but HOLD THE FAITH ...... it will happen for you xxx

[Bakingtins]

I'm 39 later this year, so not much younger. This is MC3 so am seriously contemplating having investigations, there is only so much "just bad luck" that one couple can have..
How long until you can see someone about IVF?

[chummy1]

No Idea on waiting time but with ARGC you are required to complete forms, send £50 deposit and wait to hear from them. So we will see.............