My Missed miscarriage and ERPC oh and a few questions??- long post sorry!

(7 Posts)
LittleMiss1602 Wed 13-Feb-13 21:58:30

I completely understand what you both say about being nervous and all the things that go with it. It completely changes the way you think. I kept thinking about when I carried the Hoover up the stairs and things like that even though I know that didn't cause it!

I guess the only thing we can do is look after ourselves and take comfort in the fact that from being on here you realise that you aren't the only one and it is more common than you realise. People who haven't been through it just don't understand and I was the same up until now. Even if I had a close circle of friends, which I don't, I'm not sure I could talk the same to them as you can on here as everyone has an understanding in one way or another as we have all been there.

Fingers crossed that we will all get what we are wishing for and we will appreciate it more when we do because we know what it is to lose something you wanted so badly x

teaandchocolate Wed 13-Feb-13 16:48:11

That's really good your cycles getting back to normal. One of the worst things about my first mc was the fact I didn't have a period for months afterwards and just felt like we couldn't even try again.

To be honest being pregnant is pretty hideous now - worse than not being pregnant. I try as much as possible to carry on as normal although I am paranoid about things like dyeing my hair and using nail varnish!! It was hard with my 2nd mc though as I felt so sick so couldn't really carry on as normal or forget about it!!

I also actually think that the first loss is the worst and unfortunately you kind of get used to it and its never a shock like it is the first time. As you say you never think it'll happen to you

Anyway I'm sure next time will go brilliantly for you. And I know from my own experience that stressing only makes things worse - although I definitely don't take my advice on that one!!

butterfly86 Wed 13-Feb-13 16:37:57

That's good that your cycles have gone back to normal so soon at least you know where you are and can ttc straight away if that's what you want, shame about your romantic weekend though ha ha!

I am petrified about falling pregnant again those first few weeks are torture and I constantly knicker check for bleeding, I actually get quite panicky when I sit and think about it and I'm not even pregnant yet! I just can't imagine it ever going right for us. I do take it as easy as I can when I find out even though I know I'm not to blame I'm still very cautious, I've got great people around me my mam won't let me do housework so she comes and does it for me I wouldn't carry the hoover or anything hope that doesn't sound ridiculous! My dp is really good too he said next time I have to lie on the couch and not move bless him smile I just try to do that so I don't start thinking silly things when it all goes wrong. It's very stressful, I will get weekly scans so I hope that will help but unfortunately even that can't change the outcome we will just have to keep our fingers crossed x

LittleMiss1602 Wed 13-Feb-13 13:12:08

Thank you for your replies I can't believe how brave you both are having gone through this more than once!! I'm so sorry for both of your losses x

You always think it will happen to someone else and not yourself don't you?

Well an update is I have started to bleed again this AM so I rang the emergency gynae unit and the sister who has been looking after me think that this is my AF and confirmed that the cyst looks like a corpus luteum like you said. I didn't expect it to come this quick but I guess it's a good sign and it's in time for when I would normally have my AF working off previous cycles. Other half must be gutted as he has planned a weekend away for us haha!

Also for anyone else reading this who might be going through miscarriage at the moment and don't feel they are getting enough support from their hospital or early pregnancy unit then I would advise to search and see if any of the other larger hospitals near you have an emergency gynae unit they have been amazing to me and most offer a walk in service 24/7.

Do either of you wonder how you will cope with early pregnancy after this? I can imagine I will be a nervous wreck and wanting to wrap myself in cotton wool even though I know it's not caused by anything I've done? X

teaandchocolate Wed 13-Feb-13 09:20:02

Hi Littlemiss. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you've been through. Like Butterfly I've also had 3 mc - 2 missed and one natural. My first pregnancy ended like yours when a mmc was picked up at the routine 12 week scan. It was absolutely devastating and such a shock especially as I'd had a scan at 7 weeks when a hb was found. Anyway I had an erpc and physically recovered well. In fact I've had 2 erpcs and since had a sis scan to check for adhesions etc and all was fine - as I understand it erpcs are pretty safe procedures.

In terms of your pain I have to say I think that's quite normal and that your cervix and uterus are probably just healing and getting back to normal. I agree with Butterfly about the cyst. When you ovulate the egg is released from a follicle (corpus luteum I think) and it that is left behind on the ovary. This so sometimes referred to as a cyst. Also if you're about to ovulate a cyst appears on the ovary which is a follicle about to release an egg. My terminology & explanation might be a bit off but its something along those lines! I have pcos and the cysts on my ovaries are because I don't always ovulate so the follicles remain on my ovaries as cysts. Anyway what you describe sounds normal to me and a good sign that your cycle is starting again.

Fwiw after my first mc I went on to have my gorgeous DD with no probs. unfortunately mc is very common and there's every chance you'll be absolutely fine next time. I know it is horrendous though and just takes all the enjoyment out of early pregnancy. This board is amazing though if you need to vent/stress/cry in the meantime at how unfair and rubbish it all is

butterfly86 Tue 12-Feb-13 22:47:51

Hi littlemiss sorry you have had to go through this sad I've had 2 missed mc and 1 natural miscarriage since march last year. I had erpc for both mmc also. It was similar but slightly different to your experience, I got to 9 weeks the first time and 10 the 2nd natural mc was at 6 weeks. I started with light spotting which then went away completely no bleeding like you and no pain, I can't believe epu wouldn't scan you considering you were already there that's shocking!!
It comes as a terrible shock doesn't it when you think you almost have the first 12 weeks over with only to be told that your baby actually died weeks before, I didn't even know things like that happened I was so naive. The first time I had to wait a week for a re scan as there was still a heartbeat and then a week after the 2nd scan for erpc it was awful, the 2nd time there was no heartbeat at all. just a 6 week baby so erpc was booked that day but still had to wait 4 days.

I know what you mean about dtd and it feeling too deep! I found it uncomfortable for the first few times I think the cervix must be bruised or something I also found that after orgasm (sorry way tmi but I'm sure nobody minds on here!) I would get cramps up inside like the cervix area and in my tummy, that wore off after a while though.

I can't help with the cyst I don't know anything about that I wonder if it was the follice they were talking about though I think that fills up then you ovulate so maybe you were just around ovulation I might be totally wrong though just a guess!

Glad you are feeling ok but just be aware it can creep up on you at a later date so take care of yourself it's really good to chat on here to people that understand you can't always discuss things in rl.

Good luck to you I hope you get your baby soon x

LittleMiss1602 Tue 12-Feb-13 20:42:22

Hi thought I would share my story after reading so many on here and also maybe get a few answers to some questions...

On the 16th Jan (Wednesday) I was 10 weeks pregnant and noticed some spotting/light blood loss after going to the loo. Apart from this I had no other symptoms,pain etc. just to be on the safe side I went to my local a&e on the advice of the ante natal department. After a 3 hour wait I was taken through and put into a bed and gown and told by a nurse that they would be sending me to the EPU. 10 mins later another member of staff came through and said they have got me an appointment for the following Monday (almost a week away!!) they were rude and unsympathetic when I questioned why it would take so long even to be seen but was sent on my way.

The following day the bleeding increased but my local EPU still refused to see me so I decided to book a private scan for that evening, I just couldn't bear to wait any longer to know what was happening.

At the scan the sonographer carried out the normal ultrasound but I knew something wasnt right when I watched the screen it just looked blank. She explained she wasn't picking anything up and offered to do a vaginal scan. She found a 6week old embryo but no heartbeat and the sac was measuring at 8 weeks.. The sonographer was brilliant and advised me of an emergency gynaecology unit at a close by hospital who she said would scan me and help to take the next steps. Leaving the clinic with my partner I just felt numb and slightly strange.

The next day we attended the EGU as advised and they were brilliant I was seen very quickly and another scan performed which confirmed what the previous scan had shown. Next we were taken to a room and things explained to us that as the baby was measuring at only 4mm that they would need to re-scan me a week later to check there was no development. I knew my dates were right as I knew exactly when we had conceived as we had been ttc for 8 months. I couldn't believe I was going to have to wait a week for an erpc (my chosen method of management) but I understood the reasons why they had to check.

The week between was hell the bleeding became so heavy and I was in constant pain I returned to the EGU several times and was scanned and checked over and all my questions answered. I thought I may had passed everything as I was bleeding heavily with large clots sorry if tmi! But at my scan the following week I hadn't and was booked in for an ERPC 2 days later.

The procedure itself was fine apart from my general apprehension about surgery and my hormones and emotions were everywhere. The day after and for the following week I bled like a normal quite light period with not much pain at all all though at times the bleeding was quite dark brown. I wondered if maybe because I had bled so heavily and for so long before the erpc that was the reason I was only bleeding lightly after.

After a week the bleeding stopped and a few days later my partner and I DTD for the first time although I did find it slightly uncomfortable and felt like it was very deep (sorry didn't know how else to describe that ha!) so we left it a few more days before doing it again. By this point I had been feeling uncomfortable in the area around my left ovary but out it down to things going back to normal. When we DTD for the 2nd time I was fine during but after I ended up crippled over in agony with pains again around my ovary/uterus. I used an electric heat pad - if anyone is going through MC I really recommend one of these its like a small piece of electric blanket and had been my best friend over those weeks!!! And eventually the pains subsided and we went straight to EGU and they booked me for a scan a day later (this Monday just gone)

At the scan the sonographer said everything looked fine and the bleeding had gone. The. She said there is a cyst on your left side, she didn't say my ovary and I was in shock so forgot to ask. She said this is normal and should break down on its own?.?? Following the scan we got to see the nurse who talks you through the scan and she said everything looks fine and that they think I have ovulated? I said the sonographer hadn't mentioned this but had said there was a cyst?! The nurse said yes this is what we think is your ovulation?! I'm now really confused has anyone heard of this???

Emotionally I'm now feeing much better and physically too - I guess it does get easier!

Sorry for the long post but I thought maybe someone might find it helpful to read if going through the same. I hope you all get the babies you are wishing for xxx

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