My DH and I generally get on really well but a couple of days ago we had a massive row which lasted for hours (yes I know we are crazy). It was all verbal but we were yelling and I got very upset. I am mildly asthmatic and so got out of breath and felt very drained afterwards.
I am almost 10 weeks pregnant and am worried that the argument might have caused a miscarriage, as the baby depends on my oxygen, heart, etc. particularly as it would have raised my stress levels severely. I know the baby had a heartbeat at 8 weeks as we had a scan following some bleeding earlier in the pregnancy. I haven't had any bleeding or cramps following the argument but, from what I have read, you don't necessarily need to have those symptoms in order to have had a miscarriage.
I feel incredibly guilty about getting into such a terrible row and possibly impacting my baby. My dating scan is in two weeks but I am finding the wait difficult, dreading that the baby's heart may have stopped beating.
Any thoughts anyone is able to share would be appreciated.
No experience in this, but I'd have thought your feelings of fear and dread for the next two weeks will be more damaging to you than the argument that you had. Can you call your midwife and say that you are worried sick and get an earlier scan?
If rows could cause miscarriages, then I reckon there would be a lot less children around....
Honestly OP, don't worry. If it makes you smile, when I went overdue with DS, the hospital sent me for acupuncture. They told me that I needed to prepare by relaxing and getting into a state where my body felt ready for labour.
Unfortunately, DH and I had a furious, enormous row outside the hospital about our finances and builder bills (I was so stressed I had chest pains and had to double up on the pavement). I then spent the entire appointment asking the acupuncturist if he thought I was right and DH was wrong....
Needless to say, the acupuncture didn't work.
I think in general it is good to look after yourself but I've also spent tonight looking after a sick toddler while doing conference calls with the US, answering emails and trying to rearrange meetings so I can take DS to the doctor tomorrow and still somehow get to work. I feel like my head will fall off and I'm 30weeks pregnant with DS2.....
...so yes take care of yourself but I think it is very unlikely that a row or normal stress would cause a miscarriage.
Thanks Rubyroo, both for your advice and for your story which did indeed make me smile!
I'm normally very rational but I have realised that pregnancy really does bring out the paranoid/anxious side of me so it helps to know that other people have gone through the same things...
I think my main fear is that I am only 9 + 6 so the baby is still in the early stages of development and the argument itself lasted about 4 hours and affected me physically (though it wasn't a physical fight) so I questioned being such a sustained period whether it might have taken its toll. I also assume that mine and DH's arguments are far more crazy than the average joe's but I now see that maybe we are actually normal!
Glad to hear that all went well with your first pregnancy and that DS2 is well on the way also. Hope you get some rest at some point and that you manage to keep your head firmly on your shoulders