Waiting for my 3rd miscarriage - no faith in NHS consultant, what are my options?(18 Posts)
Just hoping someone can help me. I've had two miscarriages in the last year (both around 6/8 weeks - first was a MMC, took a month to pass everything, the second 6 months later was a MC at around 7 weeks, after a scan showing a good heartbeat). I am now pregnant again (7+1) and have had an early scan with an NHS consultant who could only see an empty sac. As we were actively TTC and I was using an ovulation monitor, I know my dates are spot on. He seems to think I'm an idiot however and has told me there's nothing to worry about... I don't believe him.
I have no faith in our local hospital, which has a terrible reputation and have been less than helpful with the last two MCs (EPU in chaos most of the time, notes lost, doctors giving us the wrong advice etc etc) and as I'm 40 already, I don't want to lose any more time. What are my options? I've had some basic blood tests (not entirely sure what for, but definitely no genetic testing, which our hospital no longer do). I'm about an hour away from London, if anyone's got any suggestions there.
I can strongly recommend someone you could see privately North of London ( St Albans/Harpenden area). If that's of any interest I'll PM you details.
I was actively TTC and using an ovulation monitor and got put back 10+ days at my scan. I argued with them, but they told me that lots of people conceive after the peak and that it takes time to implant. Two more scans later and I will turn 24weeks pregnant next week. SO, if I had gone for a scan at 7 weeks I'd likely be the same. It isn't necessarily all over or bad news, you need to go back for a second scan in a week or two to be sure.
I am sorry you are in such a horrid position, pregnancy and loss is one of the cruelest roads. FX for you to have a resolution to the situation soon.
We got referred to st. Mary's in London. They were very good. I hope you get some help. Doctors can be insensitive arseholes at times. Like the consultant who was doing my ERPC on Christmas Eve after my second miscarriage saying you had a miscarriage oh dear in a patronising tone. How I didn't punch him i'll never know.
I hope you get some help. Good luck.
Thanks for your messages. Sorry that you've been through this too and I really appreciate you taking time to talk to me about your experiences. MrsJohnDeere I think St Albans might be a bit far for us, but thank you. Geekster It's mental that do have to take bedside manner courses... maybe ours failed that part of their medical training. I may try for a referral to St Mary's... have heard only good things. Worth a go.
sundaysunday - congratulations. What a lovely story to tell your little one when he or she arrives. I'm trying to keep an open mind, and I think if it weren't for the other two losses I'd be more positive but it's hard not to prepare for the worst really. I feel like I just want to do something about it, IYSWIM? Perhaps the truth is that the only thing to do is to wait.
Hi specialknickers I know just what you mean when you say it's hard to stay positive. You can't help but think the worse. Is well worth getting referred to St Mary's if you can. We went there after six miscarriages, they did more tests and I had to take aspirin as soon as I found out I was pregnant again which I did and as a result our dd was born in March. I was 39 at the time. They later told me that they recommend anyone over the age of 35 taking aspirin after repeated miscarriage, even if no obvious clotting problems are found. Worth asking about.
Special knickers - sorry you're having a rough time. Do you know how big the sac was? My consultant was confident in making the diagnosis of a blighted ovum for me as the sac measured 26mm and so if the pregnancy was viable there definitely would have been a foetal pole. I think there may be a cut off of around 20mm and any smaller than that they do have to rescan to confirm after an interval.
Having said that I had my initial scan privately and so did have a second scan when I was referred to my local EPU.
I suppose there is always the chance that you ovulated later than you think and then implanted late too. It's just so frustrating being in limbo isn't it. Did they check your bhcg level?
No, no bloods taken or anything like that. I think he measured the sac at less than 20, he didn't seem in the least bit bothered about and told me not to worry (agggghhh - telling a frequent misscarrier not to worry about not seeing something unexpected on a scan? A fool's game) but I'm totally sure of my dates so not feeling very up beat and I don't want to get my hopes up really. He's going to rescan in a week, so it's not that long to wait. I suppose I'm mentally preparing myself to go through it all again.
Geekster - six miscarriages . There are no words. You must be one amazing lady... I'm so happy to hear you got the result you deserved in the end.
I'm not amazing, just very determined that we wanted a baby, and now we have our dd it was so worth all the pain that led to her.
I was just like you always prepare for the worst it's almost impossible to think things will work out. It's a way of coping. I was actually cross when I found out I was pregnant with what turned out to be my dd as I had just started slimming world and thought great, won't loose anymore weight only to miscarry in eight weeks time. Little did I know she would be the one who made it. Pregnancy wasn't stress free I was a gibbering wreck at all my scans. But persevere and don't let anyone fob you off. I know it's easier said than done. We were referred to our local hospital once I had the first three miscarriages, and if I hadn't insisted on being referred to st Mary's after another three I may well never have had my dd.
I wish you the best of luck for the future xx
Hi OP, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through and hope that this time you get good news.
But recognising how important it is to have a pland, just in case it isn't, I'd suggest looking at getting some specialist advice. After 3 miscarriages you should qualify for NHS investigations and they might be great, although you don't sound like you trust your local folk very much. It would probably be worth doing this in any case as it's free. But it might take a while and given that you're 40 you'll probably get stressed out if you have to wait months between appointments.
The alternative is to take matters into your own hands and go to a specialist clinic. You don't need IVF as you can get pregnant but with repeat miscariages I'd be thinking about getting immune and hormone testing - you might need immune support, blood clotting treatment or something else to maintain the pregnancy. Zita West clinic in London now has a national specialist in these things leading their assisted conception and I've met people who are recieving immune support with natural pregnancies through them - check out her website here . Dr Gorgy also has a very good reputation for immune support here. Don't be freaked out - it might be as simple as taking aspirin and steroid tablets for a few weeks during your pregnancy - it is for lots of people.
Very very good luck
Thanks Mo. I'll try that.
Bit of an update today - we went back for the second scan and guess what? They found a 7 week foetus and a heartbeat. Amazing! What a miricle it is even to get to see that... The'll scan every week now (yay, go NHS) so trying to relax and not get too fixated on the eventual outcome.
Thanks everyone for all your help. I think this board is amazing - three times now it's come to my aid in a dark dark hour. Thank you.
That's brilliant news specialknickers. I really hope this is the one that goes well for you.
Keeping everything crossed.
Great news! Really hope it works out for you this time.
Special knickers- so happy for you x
This is the best thread I've read on here in ages. That's wonderful specialknickers so happy for you.
& it's given me a tiny bit of hope too. At what I think is 6 weeks, scan only showed a small sac and yolk, no pole or heartbeat. I guess my case may be more doomed than yours as I have had 1 instance of bleeding, ongoing cramps & now I'm convinced my boobs have stopped hurting. But still - your story shows there's always a teeny chance my dates were wrong and at my scan in 2 weeks it could be ok.
Congratulations, FX for you. & thank you for the hope.
So pleased to read your update Specialknickers.
Another one here who had 4 miscarriages and also one baby die at a week old, but I went on to have 4 healthy babies myself and then adopted another, so a largish family after all the heartache. Just want to encourage anyone who is feeling as if things will never work out for them, things can really turn around. Confidence in your consultant is really important, though. After 3 miscarriages i changed consultants, and even though I went on to have a 4th miscarriage he was brilliant and so supportive and he looked after me very well for all my pregnancies after that.
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