Treated differently at work after mc

(2 Posts)
andadietcoke Thu 22-Nov-12 22:29:23

Background: I'm on the management team of an SME. Management team of 4 plus CEO. 22 staff.

Since my boss found out about my mc he's treated me like I've handed my notice in. Things I used to have responsibility for have been passed to my colleagues, and I feel like I'm fighting to be heard all the time. I think he's taking things off me to make sure others can cover my work when I'm on maternity leave. He's also completely backtracked on training we'd discussed. There's a precedent for this - as an organisation we've struggled with mat leave in the past, and when the last pg lady had a mc he said 'oh well, at least we've got nine months notice'! This is exactly what's now happened with me, and I would have done anything to keep him from finding out but the HR Manager is a nightmare with an enormous mouth.

Has anyone else had this? How did you deal with it? They've been so good to me - paid for an MBA, sent me to Harvard, so I really can't complain about the training being withdrawn, it was just the way in which it was done. I just desperately want to get pg again and get out of there. Because the alternative is that I'm stuck in this situation for years with him just waiting for me to go off.

I can't talk to him - that's not an option. He doesn't like drama or confrontation, and it will only make matters worse. I just need advice on how to reconcile this for me, or to hear from other people this has happened to.

Thank you!

GuppieK Thu 22-Nov-12 22:41:40

I don't know if I can offer much helpful advice. I don't do a very senior role but I've had to tell work about my 3 mcs and I definitely feel they've marked me out as not worth investing in now as I've made my future intentions clear. It's a really short sighted attitude as a woman might only be off for 9 mths then back full time same as before. A lot of women will continue to work as hard as before if not harder to prove they can do it. Not that I think they should have to.

Do you think there's any way you could express something like this to them? I guess you might not want to go to that job after a baby now, but you could try to reassure them you're planning on returning for x days as motivated as ever.

Not sure if that helps at all. My boss said to me after my first mc she was kind of glad as they didn't want to lose me. Still not sure how I should have taken that really..!

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