I was not working, I have still not returned to work after having my son. I do a bit of freelancing but I just did that as and when I felt like it, which was not for a month or so and then only in very small doses. You will need some time off to physically recover, also with the stage the pregnancy was at it will take a while for the hormones to settle down. If there is work you can do from home to your own scheule you may find it a blessing to have something else to think about but I would put off the meetings you have to travel to for a few weeks.
I wrote an email to pretty much everyone on my contacts list telling them what had happened, even the few people who did not know that I was pregnant. I found that this way I did not have to explain myself over and over, also most people on hearing I had had a mc assumed that it had happened naturally and therefore I did not have to go into details about delivery etc. I explained in the email that I was telling them in this way so that I did not have to say it more than once and everyone was very understanding. It also meant that by the next time I saw them, it was not 'new' news and we could carry on as usual. If I were you I think I would let my clients know, either yourself or ask your boss to contact them, that way it will not be an issue next time you see them.
I'm afraid it will drag on, it is a horrible thing to have to go through, but you will find yourself feeling better with time and the practical jobs will still need doing which will help you to retain some semblance of normality. Be prepared for lots of sympathy but then for people to forget quite quickly as to them it is just 'one of those things', but there are always people who have been through what you have to support you from the sidelines and allow you to continue your everyday life in a normal way.
001001 were you working at the time of your mc? I don't know how much time to take off work. They are v supportive and I think I will be allowed as much time as I need but I either work from home or travel around the country so it swings from one extreme to the other. Whilst at home I think I might find it hard to focus on work at the moment but with nothing to occupy my time I might wallow, and I don't much like the idea of travelling for some of the meetings I have booked in - mostly because it'll mean seeing some people that did know about the pregnancy, others that didn't, and feels like the whole thing will be dragging on...
I was in a very similar situation last year and they told me that s the baby was formed they were able to see whether the baby and placenta had fully passed. Did you ask for a post mortem? I had to sign a load of papers about what they could test for ans was told I would receive a consultant appt automatically which I did but it was 3 months later!
I went to see my GP a few weeks afterwards to discuss things I had thought of since the procedure, you might find you think of questions over the next few days so write them down and ask GP.
Have you got the number of the ward you were on to deliver? Mine was really good and told me if I had any follow up problems I could contact them directly, could you do this to ask about the scan?
If you have any questions feel free to pm me, I know what you are going through and will help if I can x
Thank you for replies. I think I will call EPU on Monday to ask about a scan. I think because it was a late miscarriage that they were able to check the placenta to make sure it was all there, but it won't hurt to ask about a scan will it? I am a bit torn between just leaving it be and accepting that it happened and nothing will change that, or chasing the test results and trying to find out why it happened (I know that it is unlikely we will find out a definitive reason). I have two DDs and don't think we will try for another baby so there is no medical reason to know what the blood test etc results are. I had thought that I wouldn't bother with counselling - I was given a number by m/w so can get an NHS counsellor who will apparently see me asap - maybe I will give the number a call, just to make sure I have worked through all these uncertainties. It was such a shock, I really don't want to have some kind of delayed reaction. I'm so sorry that we have all had to go through this
[milki], I'm so sorry to read about your loss. It must have been so hard to see the baby at the 12 week scan and then go through this. I had a medically managed mc in September and felt similar to you. Once I left the hospital, I felt as though I was on my own. I didn't see anyone after I'd come home but did call the EPU a couple of times. Once because I was having some back pain and the other because I had some bleeding, which they think was retained products. They were really good and allayed my concerns at the time. I was told to watch out for a fever or foul smelling discharge as these are both signs of infection.
Fortunately, I have access to counselling services through my employer and have made use of this. I've been surprised how this has helped me - the counsellor had 2 mc herself so it has been good to talk to someone other than my dh about how I am feeling. She made me realise that how I was feeling/reacting was totally normal and I think that has helped the healing process as I was beating myself up big time.
I think it depends on the individual in terms of how you deal with it, but I would say from my experience that you have to take it one day at a time and just do what you can. Wishing you all the best xxx
Hi Milki I'm very sorry you lost your baby. I had medical management for a MC at 8 weeks in September. You should have been given an appointment for a rescan to check everything was passed - they normally do this about a week after the MC and measure thickness of womb lining, if it is still more than their cut off or they can see any retained placenta etc then they should offer you further treatment. I also wouldn't assume that you'll automatically get an appointment to discuss results. My experience has been I need to be the one phoning and chasing up or nothing happens. I'd try to arrange a follow up scan and then you can hopefully speak to someone about timescales for results.
Sadly, I found out at 16 weeks pregnant that the baby had died at around 14/15 weeks. Had a medically managed miscarriage last Sunday. I was lucky that it was quick and the pain was manageable and I have pretty much stopped bleeding now.
I am not sure if I should do anything now - see GP? Have another scan to check everything was passed? The m/w took bloods from me said she would take swabs from foetus - will I automatically have a follow up appointment with a consultant to discuss the results or do I need to ask for that?
I feel like I am recovering well but also feel a bit left to it. Maybe it is just early days though? I have all the numbers to call if I need help etc but don't really know what I would need to see anyone professional for or why I would ask to see them.
If anyone that has been through the same could let me know what to expect I would be grateful. TIA.