Well I can't believe I am sat here writing this, as I am doing it with great sadness, but if I help one other person in my situation feel like someone else has been where they are then it has done its job...
We had been trying for a baby for a year, being 24 and healthy i didn't think it would take more than a couple of months and have to admit that seeing the majority of my friends get pregnant straight away or within a few months, we really were starting to feel the strain...we found out 5 1/2 weeks ago that we are pregnant. I'll never forget my partners face when I emerged from the toilet clutching at a positive pregnancy test and told him he was going to be a daddy...
Within a couple of days of finding out I was pregnant, I started to have cramps, worse than period pains, like sharp stabbing pains that lasted a few seconds then disappeared...after speaking with my doctor it came apparent that these may have just been pregnancy pains\bedding in pains...Later that night I went to hospital due to the severity and was admitted onto the ward...I had blood tests which showed low ECG levels (625) and was told I'd have a scan first thing and that this may have been ectopic...I had the scan and all that was seen was a gestational sac (tiny) but was normal for the amount of weeks I was and the godsend was that it wasn't an ectopic...I then had another blood test 2 days later (got discharged from the ward) and my bloods had gone up to 1780...everything was going in the right direction but they still needed to scan me...
7 days later I had another scan which showed a sac which had grown significantly since the last scan...10 days later a scan which showed my precious bean, a larger sac and a yolk sac...no heartbeat...they couldn't discharge me until a HB was seen, things were still progressing and I was told it isn't unusual not to see a HB at early 6/7 weeks...
Monday just gone, 10 days later, I went for another scan...the sonographer said there was a bubble above the sac which wasn't there the week before which she thought was a bleed...my bean still wasn't showing a HB and the sac hadn't grown much...I then went back to the early preg unit and was told things aren't progressing as they should and there comes a time when things aren't looking positive and have to say all these scans aren't showing signs of a viable pregnancy...she asked me if I wanted to go home and wait for a MC, have an Op or have medical management for the miscarriage...I could barely breathe, let alone decide this...I couldn't believe it was only the same morning I was convinced I'd be discharged due to them finally seeing the HB, I was so mad with myself for allowing myself to get excited...
It's now 4 days later and I have only just decided to go for the op...I asked them to book me in next week so I have at least got the rest of this week to get my head round it and give it a chance to happen normally...I'm booked in for the op a week today...I have requested another scan early next week due to the fact I haven't bled through this pregnancy and I don't think id forgive myself if I didn't have another scan before I have the op...even though I have sort of accepted the fact this pregnancy isn't going to have a happy outcome...
I'm so scared to have the op, never had an op in my life...but I can't leave it longer than next Friday, its been 4 days so far and it's killing me...still feeling pregnant isn't helping either...
I don't know about trying again, feel as if I have been put off so to speak, I don't think I could do this to myself and my partner all over again...maybe I will feel differently once I can start to move forward...
Feel for all you ladies who are going through a miscarriage or have had a miscarriage in the past, it's the single worst thing I have ever experienced...
Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.
MNHQ have commented on this thread
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Be glad when its all over - missed (silent) miscarriage
Beardy24 · 20/10/2012 00:09
I'm so so sorry to read this OP, you must be going through the most unimaginable hell and stress right now 
All I can do is wish you the very best of luck no matter what happens.
But YANBU of course. You must choose what is right for you and no matter what that is, it's going to be heartbreaking.
Please don't think about trying again right now...that's something for the future.
What you and your partner have to deal with is the unenviable here and now and I wish you both the best of luck with that.
I'm so sorry.
I had an ectopic this past fortnight, it's been bloody awful. I was treated with chemo drugs to stop the poor bean growing, in the end, as it was threatening to rupture 
so this won't apply to me, as obviously I can't risk conception now for several months... but at the start when they were hopeful it was a "normal" miscarriage (and isn't that a horribly depressing turn of phrase all ways round) they told me that you get a little boost with your fertility after losing a baby, as the body seeks to replace that which has been lost. So you may find yourself pregnant very quickly, if you want to be. I appreciate that you may not feel ready for that, though. And you are only 24 - I'm 15 years older than you, which makes the whole thing a bit dicier. But I have hope! 
Mumsnet is a wonderful place when you need support. If you post on the thread on miscarriages, you'll find a lot of people who know what you are going through. Hang on in there - this too shall pass.
Didn't work, I'm so sorry for what you're going through, though
Just wanted to add my condolences. It really is a horrible thing to have to go through. It happened to me in January last year. As I write this I am being pummelled by 9mo dd2 who wouldn't be here if I hadn't lost that baby. I was pregnant with her within 2 months of my mmc. There is hope and you will get through it.
Wishing you strength for the weeks ahead x
Ah OP I have been through the very same hell and know a few others who have experienced similar. It rarely helps or is of comfort to hear about it from others but it sadly is something that so many go through.
I hope you have a supportive partner as I did and you can have a bit of space with him to come to terms with your loss.
Be very very kind to yourself in the coming weeks, it took me a while to get my head around the fact that something I wanted so much wasn't going to happen at that time.
I hope not to come across as patronising here as I 100% don't mean it, but 24 is young in terms of reproductive years to not be worrying in terms of it never happening, you still have at least a good decade ahead of you to try and conceive if you wish to do so. That's a long time.
for you. Grieve and be in peace. Good luck in the future and remember, MNers are here for you if you need to rant.
I'm so sorry Beardy24.
I have had a mmc and 'normal' mcs (which is something to do with me, please don't worry). For me the missed was more difficult to come to terms with.
People will say lots of things to you that are meant with a kind heart but, although you may find surprising solidarity from people you never knew had been where you are, many people still feel awkward and don't know what to say for the best.
Lots of 'you can try again', 'it was probably for the best' and 'it wasn't a real baby yet' may hurt at first but please try to let these comments go.
I echo the sentiments of pp's - be kind to yourself, be kind to each other. You will both grieve but possibly in different ways. Allow yourself to feel what you feel - your heart will have taken a battering but your body will need a rest too.
You don't have to ascribe to anybody else's schedule or ideas of how you should be doing - take it at your own pace. Some people find that they grieved all their hurt at this stage and focussing on trying again was what they wanted to do, some people find they need space from the news, the hurt and the op to move through things and can't try again for a while - both are right, there is no wrong way.
Wishing you peace and strength for the days to come. It will be ok and it does get better
@Beardy24
Hi OP, we've moved this into Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss for you now. Wishing you all the best
MNHQ
I feel more positive re the op after your comments, thank you x
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