Holy mother of CRAP..this was defo NOT part of my plans...what the jeff do i do??

(677 Posts)
nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 10:52:19

I had my 7th mcs about 9 weeks ago (i think, i didnt write any dates down, have little memory of about 2 weeks during the time, due to the drugs i was pumped with)
In short, i dont know when it occurred.

Ive sought councelling because i have never talked about my mcs ever, to any one.(well, only to you lot smile)
Additionally, i am coming up 42, and thught that that was IT the end, no more, even went and got the pill.

Patiently waiting for my period so that i could start taking the damned thing.
No af as yet.
Feeling much better in myself, councelling really really helping, im on a healthy eating mission (thanks to myfitnesspal) doing really well.

Accepting everything, although the grief has been overwhelming at times sad.

So af still not here, so bought a cheepy test, thought that all pregnancy hrmones will now be gone...this far after mc....almost immediately a pink line came up.

We dtd only a couple of times..it normally took me up to 22 months to concieve so this has floored me...completely and totally. Do not know what the jeff i should do?????????
All calming words of wisdom very much appreciated....i know i know, theres no fool like an old fool.. sad

Incaminka Wed 06-Jun-12 10:56:06

Cross your fingers really tight, and hope the same thing happems to me! Just had mc, awaiting period, am 42, no live babies yet. Really hoping for you.

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 11:02:09

Incaminka really hoping for you, omg, ive got everything crossed, when is your af due? Was it your 1st mc love?

Incaminka Wed 06-Jun-12 11:05:04

Third, so they are doing investigations. My af due in a couple of weels but amttc meanwhile! May not happen, but at least ttc is fun! :-)

Incaminka Wed 06-Jun-12 11:07:14

Great to hear your news, it's just so nerve wracking though, really hope this is the one for you.

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 11:10:54

Thanks but this isnt great news as i know that this will end as all of the others have. I just know.

Investigations are very nerve wracking, good luck with them, i hope that they come up with answers for you, they never did for me sadly. I had so much hope on them finding somethingt hat they could put right.

I am confident that i can do this again, i aim to just go for a D&C this time, i always just take the medication or wait for it to happen, but each mc has got progressively worse, so going to go for the quick option..then take those blasted pills. sadsadsad

Incaminka Wed 06-Jun-12 11:33:01

I really hope you are wrong, but I know what you mean. I wouldn't trust a pregnancy now for months. Lost one at 14weeks, that was hard. I hate our early unit now, every scan has been bad news.

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 11:38:01

I know what you mean, a + pregnancy test means nowt to me...other than, "here we go again".

Personally i feel uttelry robbed of the joy that normal folk feel when they embark on the ttc and preganncy journey.
14 weeks is utter shite, so sorry, all of mine have been before 12 weeks, well, i did get to 13 weeks once, but that didnt count as i knew it was ending from about 7 weeks.
sigh,
which mc clinic are you going to for investigations?

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 11:39:59

Ok, think i have aplan...im going to start with my GP..go and see them for advice. then just ignore untill it all starts to kick off and go tits up. then will book for D&C...then back to work, back to normal, back to councelling...oh joy smile sad

Incaminka Wed 06-Jun-12 11:49:16

It's horrid, isn't it. I have a box of pregnancy books etc, and I put it away in between, where it can't be seen, and get it out if I need it, but it is becoming less exciting each time. sad

Have you any pets? I find my siamese cats a welcome distraction, one is having kittens next week. That and work helps and also being in a band. If I get p again, I'm going to book loads of gigs, burn the box, and play with the kittens! Then if I need to buy stuff later, I can get excited then. Still hoping for both of us.

pebspop Wed 06-Jun-12 12:09:44

nosleep

hoping everything works out for you.

if i am right you have done it once and you can do it again! wink

i think a d&c is definatley the best plan for you if it does go wrong again as it will avoid all the physical pain and suffering you have been through with previous mc's. hope it doesn't come to that though - fingers crossed.

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 12:22:58

Hi pebs grin i can do it again, ready prepared sadly!

Incaminca no i dont have pets, i am definitely not an animal lover at all. I do have an 8 year old son who keeps us busy and happy smile so we are very very VERY lucky (although i lost 2 babies prior to having him)

We are off to a music festival this weekend, music is also my soothing saviour. We have holidays booked and lots to look forward to, so its quite easy to just get on with life.

Sopke to DH who is grin majorly grin atually....he sent me a picture of his butty which is huge..and asked me to send him a picture, so i did...of the +test! he rang me immediately! Bless him, he is desperate for another, he adores our ds and they go everywhere together.

So he agrees with the plan..GP then ignore ignore ignore till something ahppens.

Incaminka Wed 06-Jun-12 13:04:10

Fingers crossed then Having a great dp really helps. I have 2 now grown up step dc who I have a good relationship with, but no dc. Yet. ;)

TheQueenOfSheba Wed 06-Jun-12 13:11:14

This is what you do:

1. Get some Progesterone from your doctor and take that daily.
2. Take 1 x Baby Aspirin daily.
3. Rest as much as possible.

You have had a lot of miscarriages. If you do not have a happy outcome this time, I would be pushing for some immunity testing. You might have to pay for it, though.

Wishing you luck smile

Dropdeadfred Wed 06-Jun-12 13:14:14

I have had 13 mcs and an ectopic with ruptured tube - but I have had 3 successful pregnancies too so never rule it out!!!

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 13:30:23

Queenofsheeba ive done all that, it doesnt help, just causes my mcs to be prolonged, more painful and causes more bleeding. I am very reluctant to take anything like this again.

Also no kind of testing will change my outcomes, this i have accepted 100%...hence the councelling to accept it and come to terms.

Ive made an appointment for the GP this afternoon, i just want advice on how to request a D&C when the time comes, do i go through EFAU or A&E or GP?

Gahhhhhh doom & gloom, do you know, FUCK IT, im going to do this one how it should be done, im going to start again....
Here goes:

OMFG i got a BFP!!!! Im SO excited and want to tell the world, im pregnant!!!!! whoop whoop.
Im going to go to my GP this afternoon and ask her what normal people do when they get a BFP??????
Im going to cheerfully take my folic acid, and not have any cream cheese, im not going to let a negative thought into my head...no sirreeee, im happy happy happy grin

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 13:39:13

Thanks Christ i didnt have the mmr injection at work either, i said no as i hadnt yet had a period! Dunno why i did that! Thank goodness i did!

zoeymlucas Wed 06-Jun-12 13:59:59

Fingers crossed for you, and I hope you keep us update with your good news as you progress as I am sure it will be x

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 15:41:10

Ok, been to GP in a flurry of sobs and snot blush

She just said that its probably not residual hormones from previous mc which was 6-7 weeks ago.

Suggested HCG blood, i reluctantly agreed as these blood tests do not tell me anything helpful at all.
Advised me on how to go about requesting a D&C once things go wrong.
Continue with FA (i was just finishing the bottle becasue i cant throw anything away)

Agreed that its not worth going to the EPAU or contacting them yet as it is just too soon and all they will do is send me away for another couple of weeks.

So will sit and wait..and ignore. sad

Incaminka Wed 06-Jun-12 15:50:54

Ignoring is very difficult. It is most annoying that the ignoring can't be done accompanied by wine. sad
Or cheese.
Or bouillabaisse.

I find big fantasy books (Game of Thrones, Assassin's Apprentice, Wizard of Earthsea etc) help me take my mind off things. At least there is still chocolate. Have they given you a date by which you can confirm anything at all?

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 15:55:10

Up to me i think. I aim to leave this til the end of June......or until the bleeding & pain starts.
If i make it until the 1st Monday in July, i will go to the EPAU then.

I have some heavy duty pain killers and lots of stuff coming up through out June to keep me occupied, and i am very good at this so its all kinda inbuilt.

Good luck for your 2ww x

nosleepwithworry Wed 06-Jun-12 18:27:23

HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP!!! shock
shock

im still in utter utter shock!

willitbe Sun 10-Jun-12 23:25:57

Hi, I want to come and empathise with the point of getting to so many m/c's that a pregnancy does not mean that you immediately think baby, but start wondering when / and how badly it will be when it ends!

So I will tell you how I got through my last one, I got all the way to 9 weeks with feeling ok with the world through - firstly deciding that instead of taking the progesterone (as it only prolonged my m/c's too) I would eat loads of cheese (which I love!) and this I had with the glass of red wine, that acts to help with implantation (along the lines of the asprin). Cheese and wine, a great way to cope with those early weeks!!!!!!!

I went to councelling after I had had 9 miscarriages, and it really helped me get my head in a better place, allowing me to grieve properly for the losses. I would highly recommend going to councelling if you can find a councellor that understands grief with miscarriage.

I am 44 and no longer actively trying to get pregnant, but not using any contraception, and so if I get pregnant then it would be ok, and like you would be trying to manage those early weeks. (if I do get pregnant again, I will be throwing everything at it again including prednisolone etc.)

The other thing is that if you have not had a negative pregnancy test since your last miscarriage, there is the possibilty that you have retained placental tissue still and this could be that you are not having another pregnancy but the tail end of the last one. If you are like me, you will be doing cheap home pregnancy tests everyday and looking to see if the lines get darker...... but is that just me?

InsomniaQueen Sun 10-Jun-12 23:54:49

First - congratulations!!!
Second - when you come out of the 'ignore' stage the ladies on the thread below are wonderful - they supported me post MC, through every niggle and false alarm and their still here for me now my DD is 11 wo. Can't recommend it enough.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1482448-Just-MC-and-ready-to-try-again-Pregnant-after-MC-and-seeking-somewhere-safe-to-hide-Recently-graduated-from-the-mosh-pit-Come-on-down-to-the-mosh-pit-for-some-serious-metalling-and-cake

Best of luck with it all - will be keeping fingers and toes crossed for you!! Xx

nosleepwithworry Mon 11-Jun-12 20:41:38

Hi willitbe thanks for your post.
As i said, i have been going to councelling since my last mc. Its really really helping me.
Retained products was the first thing that i thought about. But i am now about 9 weeks since my mc, i have no other symptoms. I think that if it were retained products, i would have a discharge, temperature etc and i have had none of that.
Cheepy tests are immediately very very dark almost as soon as the urine hits it.
No waiting the 5 minutes.......

When i tested positive for the last mc, it was very very faint after 4/5 minutes and that was a week after af was due.

I do believe this to be a new pregnancy (loss probablysad)

I am ignoring still. Ive ordered a clearblue digital, just to get an aproximate time. Ive decided to wait till July beofre i go to EPAU for advce....IF i make it to then, then it should be enough time to see anything viable on screen.

If i dont make it, i will ask for a D&C, get it over & done with.

Thats the plan.
STILL utterly gobsmacked grin

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