Ectopic pregnancy support thread

(899 Posts)
tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 18-Mar-12 18:15:29

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock hmm)

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC sad.

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have wine, brew and thanks

toobreathless Thu 23-Jul-15 01:43:27

Also sending love to everyone going through this now/recently.

I am 28 weeks pregnant with my third baby conceived after an ectopic pregnancy - I lost my left tube in 2010.

There is hope.

Lovemylittlebear Wed 22-Jul-15 05:23:41

Somethingfromnothing - there definitely is hope and although it's horrific the pain does get easier with time I promise. I'm 18 weeks pregnant now and baby in the right spot this time ...I hope this helps you through a tough time and you have lots of love and support xxx

somethingfromnothing Mon 20-Jul-15 20:38:34

I know this thread isn't very active anymore but I've just read it start to finish and it has given me a huge amount of support.

I am being managed expectantly for my ep and after two weeks it has fallen from 980 to 40. Emotionally it's been awful but at least I know there is hope flowers

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 15-Jul-15 21:25:41

to anyone else that is still around, hope that you come through the dark times and have good news sometime soon. I had my left tube removed in Feb 2012 and conceived DS 6 months later. Hope that this gives you hope.

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 15-Jul-15 21:22:01

Iloveberries!!! I was thinking about you and wondering if you ever popped back here and have just seen that you posted a few months ago. Sorry to hear that you split from your H and hope that the next scan gave you good news. Big hugs, tas xxx

Shazhelt Sat 20-Jun-15 22:26:33

Helpinghusband, I am so sorry for your losses. I'm sure just being there for your wife is a great help. There's a lot of good information on the ectopic trust website, it tells you about different treatments, recovery and emotions.
I know the hardest thing for my husband was seeing me in so much pain and helpless to do anything. It meant everything to me that he was by my side.

Hi hello all. Like you I'm a 'put everyone else first' kinda gal, but tbh, my husband hasn't let me. It's been strange and rather unpleasant at times to take a step back and just concentrate on myself, but I think it's helped. I tried to downplay what had happened for a little while (think I was in denial), but when I actually started acknowledging how shitty it was, and how serious it had been, seemed to make me feel a bit better somehow. I still have bad days and still have flashbacks and bad dreams, but the dr said after an emergency experience like that it can take months and months to be yourself again. So whilst I truly empathise with you, eight weeks after your loss is still early - give yourself time and be good to yourself. Xx

Helpinghusband Fri 19-Jun-15 21:06:46

Hey I'm looking for some help. My wife and I have been TTC for 2 years. We had our first MC Christmas day 2013, second MMC Oct 14, third MC Feb 2015 and now we've just been told that we have a non viable pregnancy in an unknown location. HCG levels are still rising but only about 10% every 48hrs.

My poor wife is in bits. What can I do to help my wife get through this difficult time? Is there anything I need to do or not do to make it any easier for her?

Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated.

Helloall1 Thu 18-Jun-15 20:45:06

Hi Shazhelt, I'm sorry to read your situation. It's a horrific thing to go through and to be honest I've spent so much time downplaying it it is making it worse as every now and again I think of it and it breaks my heart.

I'm not the type of person to take time for myself, I worry and support everyone else...in and out of work.

Our experience of internal bleeding and rushed surgery sounds similar, as does our feeling of exhaustion. I was supposed to take three iron tablets each day but I am a bit rubbish at remembering.

How are you feeling now? I'm so sorry you have had infections x
I'm not sure where my periods are, I bled for a week in hospital and the next was regular.

Hoping you feel on track soon and have lots of support around you xx

Shazhelt Thu 18-Jun-15 09:42:21

Helloall1, you are not butting in, and are most welcome to the thread. I'm just sorry you had to find it.
It sounds like you had a terrible time, I too had to be rushed down to theatre, very scary times. I'm not surprised you still feel shocked as it all happened so quickly to you.
After 5 weeks, my energy levels have just started to improve now I'm no longer anaemic, but I'm still getting pain from the tubeless side and my belly button incision seems to have developed an infection - so back on the antibiotics. Have an u/s scan next week to check everything's ok.
After dreading the arrival of my period, now it's actually here I feel quite relieved, feel like I can start to move forward a little.

Dcmw - hope littlebear has given you some reassurance.

Take care all x

Helloall1 Mon 15-Jun-15 19:40:55

Hey, hope you don't mind me butting in. Been reading through experiences and realise mine was unusual, which is why I probably still feel a bit numb and shocked...even though it happened eight weeks ago.

I'm so sorry that so many people have suffered losses and pain too x

My story is, we had been TTC since Oct 14; I had the implant removed. We found out were pregnant in April, only early days of around six weeks but was very excited.
I was perfectly well, no bleeding at all. But suddenly got a strange woozy feeling all of a sudden, when I was driving home from work. Then I started feeling like I had trapped wind and it all went a bit hazy from there, I was sick and kept going in and out of consciousness. Luckily I had managed to pull over and call DH.
I refused to go to hospital as felt it was a stomach bug, but then got a horrific pain in my shoulder and was rushed to hospital in an ambulance.
Long story but had to have surgery straight away as the 'trapped wind' feeling was actually blood loss into my stomach. Few blood transfusions later, I've survived but I feel crap! And still shocked at how quickly it all happened.

I'm doing OK now, but still exhausted, bit sore and down. But I'm trying to be positive. I just wanted to share my experience because I didn't get any support and when I try to Google advice, it mainly says bleeding, pain and medication. I hope this makes sense.

These things are awful and no one deserves it. I wish you all good luck, stay with it, the emotional and physical pain will ease x

Lovemylittlebear Thu 11-Jun-15 14:25:30

Hi shazhelt

Sorry to see you on here. Yes had wait and see. Random pains on right side even now every now and again...no idea if tube blocked or if it's ok. Had 2 MCs since, one was too early to know if it made it to uterus or not. The other was I my uterus so made it through tube. I'm pregnant ATM an gynae told me at the time I was about to ovulate out my left tube so we went at it like hell and it's still in the right spot 11weeks on... I thought it would never find a way through but it has. Hope you get some good luck xxx

dcmw Thu 11-Jun-15 13:04:42

Hi everybody - this is my first post smile

My partner and I had been TTC for just one month in October 2014 and got "pregnant" pretty much immediately, at 7 weeks I started bleeding and went to the hospital - who were lovely to me, they did a check and said it looked as if everything was okay but the day after I started having horrible pains in my side and I knew straight away that it was an ectopic pregnancy, which was obviously devastating - morbidly interestingly, his sister-in-law had a confirmed miscarriage on the exact same day I had my ectopic confirmed.

The doctor at the hospital tried to push the methotrexate on me but obviously that concerned me as I wanted to keep trying, and then the nurse behind closed doors told me not to listen to the doctor and to have the tube removed!! She said if I was her daughter, that's what she would want, I argued that based on the literature I was given my chances of having a second ectopic were about the same whether I had one tube or two and given that I was only 25 I wasn't ready to have one removed (what if I'd had an ectopic in my right tube next time?!! Then I'd have one dodgy tube and nothing else!!)

Anyway it turned out that my HCG levels had fallen enough to warrant the "wait and see" treatment - which was my preferred option but not one that I see much around on the internet or forums when I'm looking for answers.

Anyway, we have been trying ever since but nothing yet (my partner was in a very serious accident in January so we had to take a couple of months off whilst he was in hospital and now we still have to be super careful he doesn't over do it).

That's my story but the reason I came on here was really to see if anyone else had the same "wait and see" treatment, I still get pains in my left abdomen from time to time and and afraid that my chances of having another ectopic are high because there's obviously some scarring still going on down there.

Does anyone still have pains in their tube? Or did they, and how long did it take to subside? Anyone on here have the same treatment and manage to have a healthy pregnancy afterwards?

Shazhelt Sat 06-Jun-15 20:49:35

ilove and little bear, I'm really pleased for you both.
I've read through the whole thread after I had emergency surgery to remove an ectopic and a ruptured left tube 4 weeks ago at only 6 weeks pregnant. I am lucky to have a 16mnth dd and an incredibly supportive dp. I am however only just feeling better physically after a womb infection followed by thrush post op. After losing a litre of blood, I find I'm still so tired so quickly.

I have found this thread invaluable. I am slowly beginning to think that I may at some point in the future be ready to Ttc again, but the fear of leaving my little one without her mum is still so strong should we be so unlucky again. And the trauma of the horrendous pain I endured (I had no bleeding whatsoever, only internally) and the powerless feeling of deteriorating before they rushed me in leaves me with nightmares.
I know things will get better with time, sunshine helps, and cuddles from dd. I just feel so lucky to still be here for my family.

I've found trying to be as open as possible, and talking about the experience to be emotionally healing for me. Yes, I still burst into tears at the slightest thing, I am grieving for my lost baby, the loss of my tube, probably post traumatic stress and the horrible feeling that my dp watched helplessly in the hospital whilst I was so ill, but that all is to be expected. It is still early days. I am trying to be good to myself and take things day by day.

I'm so sorry for everyone who has had to find themselves on this thread x

Lovemylittlebear Fri 05-Jun-15 21:08:45

Hi TJ87 and everyone else on the thread. I had an ectopic in June last year and posted on here which was a great source of comfort. Emotionally the pain took it's toll for quite a while, but it does get a lot easier with time. Since then we had two miscarriages and im now nearly 11 weeks pregnant. It's in the right place and it's growing at the moment. So although it's early days I thought that might give some of you some hope if you are having a tough time. All my love xxx

Sleepyjeanie Wed 03-Jun-15 15:35:57

Hi ladies,

I have just been diagnosed with having an ectopic pregnancy. Really shocked. They are about to administer Methotrexate and I was therefore wondering whether your pain had resolved TJ87?I am worried and anxious about electing this due to a) possibly damaged tube and future fertility b) it doesn't work and surgery has to be undertaken anyway and c) how long it takes for HCG levels to drop.

Now that I have read that it can cause constant and recurrent pain is something I will ask my doctor when I return to hospital later on today I.e best form of pain management and I will come back and post some info which may be of help to some going through a similar situation. sad

I also wondered whether anyone had any experience of an ectopic due to endometriosis? I was told today that this was a risk factor. I am kind of angry that I was never advised this before TTC and although I did research my condition sometime ago, I obviously did not pick up on this being a risk factor or indeed having had a laparoscopy which is again, a risk factor!!

Thanks all for your advice on the thread, your support and wishing you lots of sticky baby dust for those TTC!

PunkyBubba Tue 12-May-15 21:32:51

Brilliant news!!! Yes, 6 weeks is still a bit early for a heartbeat, have they given you another scan date?xx

iloveberries Tue 12-May-15 11:16:47

6 week scan showed pregnancy in the right place - relief!

No heartbeat yet but they tell me this is normal.... (??)

PunkyBubba Sat 09-May-15 23:45:04

I know how you feel. I was in bits until my scan, convinced it was another ectopic, crying as I had the same indigestion type pain I had with the ectopic... Thankfully it really was just indigestion that time and I had my rainbow baby (DS2) last October, days before the first anniversary of the emergency surgery that saved my life but took my baby and right tube. I wasn't sick until the 8th week I think...

Sorry it's been a rough few years. I'm glad you are coming through it now though, and will be here on Tuesday if you want to share the scan results.

My DS1 (3 years old) has just been diagnosed as having autism as well as a severe speech and language disorder (can only say a few words and they are mainly unintelligible to anyone but me) so life isn't great to be honest, but I'm surviving.

This board is very quiet now, as you'll see when you catch up on the thread.xxx

iloveberries Sat 09-May-15 07:04:09

I need to go back and read the thread and get up to date with everyone else though.

How are you?

iloveberries Sat 09-May-15 07:03:38

Thanks... I saw people posting and I'm sorry I never chipped into the thread sooner. I had a pretty dark couple of yrs tbh.

Scan is on Tuesday morning.

Obviously I am analysing every twinge, stressing that I don't feel sick etc etc. I'm just desperate to see the little dot in the right place.

PunkyBubba Fri 08-May-15 22:12:07

Hi ilove welcome back! I read the entire thread through when I had my ectopic in 2013, and have always wondered about you and if you were ok. I'm so happy for you, and desperately wishing you a successful scan.xxx

iloveberries Tue 05-May-15 09:57:08

Hi everyone, I don't know if anyone is still here but I was on this thread 3 yrs ago when I had an ectopic and tube out. Since then my life was turned upside down when me and H split up.

3 yrs on and I have a lovely new partner and yesterday we found out I am pregnant ��. So excited but also worried about the possibility of another ectopic... Anyway, I guess I will have an early scan sometime in the next few weeks.

After such a rollercoaster 3 yrs to welcome a baby into our new family would just be amazing.

iloveberries Tue 05-May-15 09:54:14

Checking posting

TJ87 Tue 21-Apr-15 23:09:14

Hi all,

Not sure if anyone is still checking this post but thought I would give it a try.

My husband and I have been TTC for about 2 years now, in June 2013 we had a MMC and then fell pregnant again (finally) in February of this year but found out at the beginning of March that it was ectopic.

My question to all of you who have been through this is how long did it take for you to feel 'normal'? Every time I think I am over it I have a really bad day of pain. I am six weeks post methotrexate and was woken by pain during the night last night which has continued all day today with no let up and pain relief is not even taking the edge off. I am so exhausted by it all. Any suggestions for pain relief are very welcome, the hot water bottle helps a little but only when it is scolding and that's probably more distraction than relief.

This is my first post but I just want to say thank you, I have read lots during this difficult time and it is such a help to know you are not alone. Xx

Frixinator Mon 20-Apr-15 21:47:59

Hi. I had an ectopic pregnancy as my first pregnancy in February 2015. This resulted in an emergency surgery just 5 weeks into the pregnancy. I had only known that I was pregnant for a week when I started bleeding (thinking it was a miscarriage). I was booked in for a scan and told that it was ectopic. I asked for the methotrexate but by the time I was due to be administered it the following day, the pregnancy was disturbed depositing 500ml of blood into my pelvis. I ended up losing my left tube. Anyway, turns out I am now pregnant again (a month and a half after the first ordeal). I'm really worried about it and the Early Pregnancy Unit says I have to wait until the 5th May for a scan before they can see anything. I'm feeling very different with this pregnancy- exhausted whereas with the last I was really sore (breast wise) and I am experiencing cramping this time, something I didn't before. I'm terrified of the pregnancy. I feel I have only just dealt with the emotions of losing the first... Don't get me wrong I really want a baby but.... I want it to be healthy and for me not to lose my fertility or my sanity... Am I wrong to be feeling this way?

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