Ectopic pregnancy support thread(741 Posts)
Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after
hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.
Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.
After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock )
I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC .
Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have , and
Hi. I found out yesterday that at 4.5 weeks my first pregnancy is ectopic. I am heartbroken. My hormones are quite low so the doctors are monitoring me (second blood tests are tomorrow). I'm 36 so I'm concerned with the effect this may have on my future fertility. I haven't told anyone that we were trying so I don't really feel I have anywhere to turn. I have a very close friend who has been trying for a few years and has had four failed IVF cycles. Any advice on whether to tell her? I haven't told work exactly what is happening, just that I may have to have surgery. How long have people taken off work with an ectopic if there is no surgery? I'm feeling physically mostly okay but just very emotional. I don't really know what to do with myself.
hi ruthho sorry to hear that it's still dragging on, hard to get life back to normal when this is happening. It does sound strange, possibly they left some tissue behind? Hope all is sorted by now anyway
Hi all, had emergency surgery on December 5th, they removed my left tube along wig the ectopic pregnancy. I have been bleeding on and off ever since so at my follow up appointment on Tuesday they took my blood. They just phoned to say my hcg level is still high at 396 (8 weeks post op?!) I have to go back in next week for more bloods taking and if they have increased (0r aren't decreasing) then I will possibly have to have the MTX shot. Anyone got any experience of this? Baffled at what's happening as supposedly everything was removed during the laparascopy??
Thank you x
Just want to add my success story too. I had 3 m/c and had been diagnosed with antiphosolipid antibody syndrome just before my 4th pg. unfortunately 4th pg turned out to be ectopic. I had my right hand tube removed. I was 39 years old and added to this DH was firing on one bollock after having one removed due to testicular cancer in his early 30's.
It took 14 months to conceive DD after the ectopic. By this time we were half way through the adoption process. I had to inject with clexane and take aspirin throughout the pregnancy but I had my baby girl 5 months after my 40th birthday.
It took us only 5 months to conceive DS at the grand old age of 42. Followed the same treatment plan as before and had another successful pregnancy.
Never give up hope!
lovely to hear everyone's success stories!
hessy hope that you are feeling ok and going back to work went well. I had MMC and then an EP 3 months later, so I have an idea of how hard it is. It is especially hard when other people's pregnancies go so smoothly and are due around the same time as you. I smiled with gritted teeth many many times around them. The due date for the m/c wasn't fun but it does get better. I've got an 8 month old baby now, and it all seems a long time ago.
feather don't worry too much about running out of time, I conceived both my babies over 35, DD at 35 and DS at 38, with my past history I had all but given up on the 2nd DC. If you're really not feeling like yourself, it might be worth a visit to your GP. Mine was lovely and referred me for counselling, which I found really helpful (though not for everyone I know). I'd also recommend a holiday, we just went away in the UK for a couple of weeks, it really helped to get away and relax. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Just a short post. February last year I had a corneal ectopic that ruptured, needed many units of blood, and was left with a horrible scar and a 6 week recovery period.
We had to wait 8 months, but I then had IVF, and I'm now 13 weeks pregnant. So not a natural conception, but still a pregnancy, and I hopefully it will continue to grow well.
Firstly I'm really sorry that you have all been through this. I have just been told that I have an ectopic at 5 weeks, after going for am early scan. Really disappointing as my GP gave me so much hope that it was a viable pregnancy, so the scan was a big shock. This was our first month ttc... I started to get shooting pains about a week ago, and had what I thought was a period two weeks ago before my first ever bfp!
Without sounding heartless, I am not grieving so much for the loss. As much as it is a loss. I feel gutted that I have been 'so unlucky' as the nurses put it, and so fearful that this will happen to me again... Or I will never fall pregnant again. Seeing all the other ladies with blooming pregnancies in the waiting room, whilst
waiting to be told if I needed surgery was hurtful. The pain is still raw but your posts help me to feel more positive.
Luckily they don't think I need surgery, and I am getting my injection tomorrow. They've strongly advised I wait 12 week before ttc, that seems so long away. Like us all, I am desperate for a baby and feel so heartbroken seeing other parents with their children and babies. As selfish as that sounds!!!
Take care everyone. X
Hi ladies, I'm now so old the menopause is approaching, but just wanted to share with you that following an ectopic pregnancy in May 1993 which resulted in a ruptured Fallopian tube being removed, I went on to pop out two babies successfully (OK both were Em CS) in July 1994 and August 1995 despite only firing on one cylinder as it were. I was about 8 weeks I think.
I do remember having a go at the woman in the bed opposite who was weeping and wailing about her ectopic as if she was the only one who had ever suffered from this, and telling her to shut up and count her blessings as at least she already had a child and me and the other two women on the ward were wondering if we would ever have a child now we were missing various bits of our reproductive equipment... I hope those ladies did OK and went on to have babies too.
best wishes to all of you who are suffering and fingers crossed you too will go on to have successful subsequent pregnancies. Both times afterwards I was scanned almost immediately I found out I was pregnant to make sure the eggs had made it to the right place, which of course they had.
Hi everyone. Think I need to join. I'm 6wks4days and the hospital think it's ectopic. I'm going back into hospital in the morning for second blood test to determine hormone level. I'm a bit scared really. And upset.
I was so excited at my bfp then suddenly it's gone.
Feather- my two best friends have just announced their pregnancies...due a few days apart. I felt awful sat there knowing mine probably isn't going to survive. It's a terrible feeling.
Anyway, will be lurking on here over the coming days as I think I'll need support.
I've been lurking on this thread for a couple of months now and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry we've all had to go through this. And to all that have posted their success stories, thank you - you've given me hope.
Well, basically, I had my right tube removed in 2007 as it had twisted on itself and ruptured - no ectopic, just "one of those rare things" according to the surgeon. It was a hell of a shock and very upsetting at the time, but I got over it.
More recently, last November (after six rounds of clomid) I finally got a bfp. Started bleeding a week later, went to the epu and they found it was an ectopic in my left and only remaining tube. I was lucky in that it had stopped growing, so I was monitored but they didn't have to operate or give me methotrexate.
Two months on and I feel all sorts of emotions: scared, sad, angry. I'm a bit too emotional and moody, cry at the drop of a hat and prefer to be alone as much as possible.
The icing on the cake is that a colleague confided in me that she's pregnant just after my ectopic - she kindly told me about a week after I told her what happened as she wanted me to know ahead of announcing it in the new year. it turns out our due date was a week apart. I know it's irrational, but it's really upsetting me. It's not her fault, of course, but I can't help but feel very jealous and bitter. I would have been 14 weeks pregnant on Wednesday.
I'm so scared that it's going to happen again. That I'm running out of time (I turn 35 soon). That it's never going to happen. So much fear I don't know where to put it.
Anyway. Sorry to rant. Just needed to share.
Sorry, only just discovered this thread and not yet had time to read through it all. Am sorry that all you ladies have been through what you have but just wanted to share my success story in the hope of giving you hope in what seems like a hopeless situation.
I suffered an ep in 2005. Knew I was pg and started spotting. Confided in work colleague who insisted on taking me to a&e. Tests confirmed I was pg but subsequent scan showed empty womb. Was admitted to ward wwhilst awaiting blood results. These then confirmed very high hcg levels so sent for immediate laparoscopy. When I came round I found out they had been unable to remove the tube via this so opened me up too (laparotomy) and removed tube. I was in a bad way for several months after as wound became infected.
Once recovered we tried again for several years and finally got a positive in 2008 however gp tests were negative so referred to gyne who found large ovarian cyst causing false positive. Cue another laparoscopy to remove and thereafter fertility tests. Outcome was that "next to nil chance of ever conceiving naturally" and referred straight for ivf. Started later that year. We're really lucky and first round successful (got positive test on Xmas eve). Early next year had early scan to check all in right place and confirmed they BOTH were! All went well and when they were a year old I found out that I was pg again - had beat the odds. Another early scan confirmed all ok and all went ok again.
Not the way I imagined getting my family would go but I know despite everything I am extremely lucky
I felt like crap for a while Hessy, it's still very raw for you...an extra awful time to happen as well over Christmas. But you will begin to feel better. I was quite sore physically as well for at least a couple of weeks.
I dreaded going back to work too, I know what you mean about using up the sympathy...but if you're anything like me I didn't want any sympathy...I didn't want anyone to ask me about it. My way of dealing with it was just to carry on as normal at work. I only told very very few close family about the pregnancy/surgery anyway and others still don't know to this day. If this pregnancy is successful then I will fill everybody in on our traumatic past 18 months but I didn't want the pressure/constant asking how I am, and that worked for me but everybody is so different.
I feel like my ectopic was yesterday, every little detail. I totally understand how you are feeling so feel free to keep writing away if you want to talk. Xxx
I had ectopic preg in 2001, rupture. I already had one dc.
Lost tube. Got preg again a couple of times, but ended up in m/c.
Gave up then got preg with ds. Took years, but it happened.
Cousin had dds with only one tube, there are lots of success stories.
I'm so sorry you had both too. I kept asking the doctors how I could possibly had both but they could only reassure me that it was a horrible coincidence. I'm taking even more heart from hearing of your success now
I feel like absolute crap today. Dreading work tmrw. They were great over mc but feel I've used up all my sympathy iyswim.
I also had a MC before my ectopic Hessy at 6 weeks, so ectopic was even more of a kick in the teeth as you know, and made me think even more that my fertility was well and truly shattered.
I hope you have lots of support and are recovering well xx
Thank you for posting this Over; I am crying reading it. Huge congratulations xxx
My ectopic surgery was a couple of days before Christmas and came three months after a miscarriage. I really need to hear success stories at the moment...
I just wanted to add a quick update...
My surgery was just over 6 months ago in June 2013 when I had emergency surgery to remove my right tube which had been badly ruptured by an 8 week ectopic pregnancy. I had internal bleeding too and was very lucky it wasn't even worse as my hcg levels were extremely high, in the 30,000 range.
The most traumatic experience and few weeks of my life.
Anyway after about 6 weeks me and me DH started trying again, every month that went by without a BFP was like a knife to the heart. I felt ovulation pains every month on my 'tubeless side' as I always have felt them on my right side, and practically convinced myself that my left side didn't work at all and I was never going to get pregnant ever again. I got lower each month, cried all the time, started having flashbacks to my surgery and eventually got put on antidepressants at the end of October for 30 days to start with. They did help my mood, a lot, and I was no longer crying every day. We continued ttc as normal and on Nov 21st I got a BFP. I could not believe it. I truly never thought I'd be able to get pregnant again. Then the worry of another ectopic starts to creep in...
I have had two scans, an NHS one at 6 weeks and a private one at 8 weeks. Both confirmed a pregnancy in the right location with a beating heart. I am now 10 weeks and praying everyday that this pregnancy works out, counting the days until my next scan.
I just wanted to share, and again show that there IS hope after an ectopic...and a normal pregnancy afterwards is quite possible. Because I know how it feels to think your fertility is ruined, and I know just how important and encouraging it is to read other people's stories who have been in the same situation.
I hope everyone who (unfortunately) needs to read and use this thread gets all the support that they need and I wish everybody lots of good luck for the future.
Hi Hessy, I am sorry to hear you have had to go through this, I hope you are resting well and you have people around you to take care of you. Like you I started having vaginal bleeding 3 days after my operation and it became bright red, heavy and continued for about 4 days, I was told that it is normal although no one explained to me why it happens other than it isn't a period! I would say that unless it gets really heavy or the pain becomes a lot worse rather than better then it is completely fine. In case no one mentioned to you (and I doubt you would want to after your surgery) use pads and not tampons.
I hope you start feeling a bit better soon, if it makes you feel better to know, I was in a lot more pain than I expected the first 4 days but from then on in every day got better pain wise and also emotionally too, although I had a cry pretty much every day for 2 weeks after surgery and this really helped me to deal with it rather than keep it all in.
Anyway I my op was 4 weeks ago tomorrow and I had my pregnancy and left Fallopian tube removed so any support you want or questions feel free to ask!!
Take things really easy and slowly, I did and pretty much lay down or was on the sofa for the entire first week and only did little things the second week, don't rush.
Thinking of you
Hello, hoping someone can answer this. I had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy three days ago. The keyhole surgery to remove foetus and part of the Fallopian tube. I am still very sore on the three scars, which is to be expected.
However, I'm also bleeding vaginally. At first it was dark spotting, now a fair amount of bright red blood. I'm sure this is normal but none of the doctors or nurses mentioned it, only the scars. Is this normal?
And do you know, is it from the surgery (the cuts) or is it effectively the lining of the womb coming away as per a mc?
Thanks in advance.
hi rhi I hope you are feeling better now and your GP has given you something for the thrush. I had nightmares after my EP, sounds very normal, and it did pass. Hope that you don't have many more. It sounds like you are letting it all out and are comfortable with grieving, together with a supportive husband, you are very lucky. I know what you mean about life suddenly grabbing you, it reminds you that you never know what is round the corner, so enjoy the good things while they last and be grateful for them! I find I am much more thankful for the good things in life - loving family, good health - I appreciate them much more now. And congrats on becoming an aunty, I hope you find great joy with your niece/nephew.
I think I had a 6 week follow up after my op, just to confirm to me it was an ectopic pg, but they didn't do much, possibly I POAS, but I suppose you could do that at home to confirm they removed everything.
I was advised to keep a close eye on my cycle from then on, so that when I got pg, I could go early and be monitored and scanned. A bit tricky when you're irregular (as I was) but if you know when you ovulate (looking at the EWCM) and you know your luteal phase (same every month) then it's not too bad. My progesterone was low with the EP, I think it's a symptom of the EP rather than a problem with you. When I got pg again it was much higher. Wishing you a speedy recovery and lots of luck when you TTC again x
Tas and Count - thank you for your lovely comforting messages, I can see from this thread what a horrid journey you both went through and it makes my heart happy that you both went on the have gorgeous, healthy babies after such trauma. Today has mainly been a very good day, although during my afternoon nap I did have a nightmare which involved a nurse prodding my stomach and asking me what my scars were and why I've cut my own baby out of my stomach when it was fine, when I woke up I burst out crying and my stomach hurt as I was obviously tensing my muscles through my sleep - I'm hoping this doesn't become a regular thing?!
It is my nature to always see the positives but this is by far the hardest and most painful thing that I've ever gone through. Thankfully my husband and I, although newly married have been together since we were 19 (11 years) so know each other inside out and will grow even stronger because of this I am sure. I have a nice life and generally live in a happy bubble so this experience has really knocked me, a reminder that things like this will come and grab hold of you out of the blue, I intend to hold on for dear life and get through it a stronger person. We will have a healthy baby, I can't think any other way right now. Luckily I have the benefit of volunteering at a hospice every weekend so constantly talk to the patients about grieving, because of this I am not afraid to cry.
Life works in mysterious ways - whilst I have been losing a baby these last 3 weeks, my brother was secretly going through his second session of IVF and making a baby, on Friday they finally got a positive result - 4 years of trying. This should give hope to anyone that has to go down that route. We will be blessed with a baby next year in the family after all.
After the operation I was not expecting such pain! I was walking so bent over I honestly thought they'd pulled all my muscles too tight and that I would never be able to walk standing up straight again!! Annoyingly I got a urine infection after the operation and now the antibiotics have stopped I feel like I am getting thrush!! Anyway hopefully my GP can help me with that.
I am surprised I don't need any bloods taken or checked, I was basically told they won't follow up until I fall pregnant again! I'm worried that because of being on the pill for 11 years and having irregular periods for the 7 months I came off it prior to this happening that they will continue to be even more irregular now this has happened! I was told I had low progesterone when I got my second lot of bloods back - is this what happens with all ectopics or should I be taking something to ensure it isn't low for future pregnancies? Never even knew what progesterone was before this! Pretty sure they didn't go into much detail all those years back at school!
Anyway - hugs to everyone going through this or having been through it , us women really are incredible.
Pls I didn't mean to sound patronising in what I said!
Rhi- as I know you've heard it over and over!
I have 3 angels watching over us! And they will always be with me etched on my heart! Footsteps that are in tune with my beating heart!
Big Hug & hand holding been where you are Rhi! Scared of trying again! It's heartbreaking to have such a happy thing turn into pain sadness and heartache!
But hold on to the fact you have a supporting husband that is also dealing with the loss! And you have another tube which means you do have a chance of conceiving a healthy pregnancy/baby!
Hold on to tomorrow's! And your pain will subside not forgotten not erased but won't hurt so much!
As I have said and watching my lil miracle fast asleep in her cot!
hi rhi, mimosa and bushmills, glad that you found this thread and that it is helpful, it was born in a terrible time for me, from a conversation with iloveberries. I'm so glad something good has come of that awful time. and hi again to teary.
teary glad that you are feeling better, people say time does heal and they are right
bushmills and mimosa I'm so shocked at the terrible medical care you received, bush, I'm glad you wrote a complaint, did you get a reply?
rhi congrats on your wedding, though I imagine you've had other things on your mind since then! I love your quote, I think it is very true. I think setting little goals every day is a really good idea. It does help but don't overdo it, I got every bug and lurgy going after my surgery, I got quite run down. Little steps!
To who asked for success stories, I have a wriggly 6 month old DS rolling about on the floor right now. I had a MMC just before the EP, so I really thought I was broken and couldn't have any more children. Don't give up hope just yet.
I am new here, feels weird to have registered to Mumsnet now I am not expecting or a mummy but I have spent most of today reading this thread after having a really emotional day yesterday!
My story, I got married on the 5th November, after a quick 2 day honeymoon I arrived back home and wasn't feeling well so on the 8th I took a pregnancy test to find out I was pregnant - my and my husband were over the moon. We had been trying for 8 months but after 12 years on the pill my periods were about 50 days apart and I felt relieved my body could get pregnant!! Had 5 days of walking on cloud 9 and then started to bleed very lightly, relaxed all weekend and my best friend convinced me it was implantation bleeding. After 4 days of bleeding I went to EPU , told too early to scan (hcg 500) & went back 2 days later for bloods, told all positive as bloods doubled (1000) but progesterone low so they decided to try to scan and talk about taking tablets to help pregnancy, felt relieved - 4 hours later rushed to hospital as had unbearable cramps and bleeding and rushed into resus - drip, painkillers etc and it was there that I passed a large tissue (still never been told what it was) confirmed miscarriage and product was taken away to be tested. The whole thing was so traumatic and I howled like I've never heard before when I finally got home. Went for scan following day, told everything passed - ensured miscarriage is so common next time will be fine. Next day had to have bloods again and HCG had gone up yet again so suspected ectopic, hcg kept rising and had an emergency scan 48 hours later - no pregnancy found in womb but consultant said I definitely hadn't miscarried as there could be a normal baby developing or it could be ectopic. Her saying normal pregnancy freaked me out completely. The next day I had another emergency scan which after 30 minutes showed an ectopic in my left tube. Took methotrexate the next day however on Friday 29th I was asked to come in for a second shot as numbers still very high (5500). Went for a scan and was told there was fluid on my stomach but the lady said that was fine I could have the 2nd shot - the head nurse thankfully pops her head in and hears about fluid on the stomach , examines scan and after talking to the consultant I'm told there is no option but to operate as they think tube is rupturing. I was in total shock. 6 hours later I wake up from the operation with my husband and mum by my side, the had removed the pregnancy along with my left tube which was bleeding and rupturing as they were doing the surgery. I had no time to think much about it all. I kind of think I am lucky I did experience what we thought was a miscarriage because we had already started to grieve.
Anyway, 10 days after my operation I am doing well physically and emotionally (today!!) but last week I felt like if been hit by a bus and have cried pretty much every day since the 7th November!! Yesterday I thought I was doing better and feeling positive and then I realised I was sitting with tears streaming down my face and cried for about an hour non stop - then on and off all night. Today I have woken up feeling so much better and now the pain has gone I intend to give myself little tasks / aims every day.
I still have no idea what actually happened when I thought I wad miscarrying, I've been told it is possible I had 2 eggs, 1 I miscarried that was in the womb and the other the ectopic pregnancy. I felt really silly but I had no idea that if it was a miscarriage that it would be so painful - like contractions and that it would look like a large clump of tissue the size of 2 conkers even though I was so early (4.5 weeks and then probably 6 weeks at time of surgery)
I just wanted to share my story so anyone else out there can have a read and might find it helpful - also so I can come on here when I'm not feeling so positive (probably tomorrow , who knows!)
I am so so scared to try again, which won't be for at least 3 months because of the metho shot but mainly I am scared it will happen again.
Anyway a quote a friend send me yesterday that might help others.
"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings".
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