Ectopic pregnancy support thread

(818 Posts)
tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 18-Mar-12 18:15:29

Hi everyone, this is a place for anyone who's had an ectopic pregnancy - whether you want to moan, cry, fret or just have a chat with other people who understand. I know there's lots of other good websites on ectopic pregnancies but after hijackingchatting with sunshine on another thread, I thought I'd start one here.

Well I'll get the ball rolling with my story - after a MMC in November (found out at the 12 wk scan that the baby had died at 10 wks) I was just getting myself sorted, having counselling, when I had the ectopic. I know I am lucky in that I have a lovely DD. Having had a normal pregnancy, I knew from the beginning this one was not good and as soon as I got a BFP I was down at the hospital.

After 10 days of mental torture, waiting around, scans, rescans, blood tests, it got too late for the methotrexate (they finally saw the ectopic in a scan on a Friday early evening and the methotrexate wasn't in stock hmm)

I finally had the surgery to remove one tube on the Tuesday. This was the end of February, at first I wasn't sure how I would cope, but I am just plodding on. I know I am lucky that it didn't rupture, but honestly I can't think of having an ectopic as being lucky. Especially after a MMC sad.

Anyway, come join me if you want to share your story, I have wine, brew and thanks

toobreathless Tue 02-Jul-13 21:13:10

vectra and overanxious so very sorry to hear if your losses. Both your stories are heart breaking & I hope you are healing physically from the surgery and able to find some peace.

I just wanted to share my story, I hope it brings people a little glimmer

toobreathless Tue 02-Jul-13 21:23:01

Ooops...what happened there??

vectra and overanxious so very sorry to hear if your losses. Both your stories are heart breaking & I hope you are healing physically from the surgery and able to find some peace.

I just wanted to share my story, I hope it brings people a little glimmer of hope.

I got married in August 2009 & we planned to start a family when DH returned from Afghanistan. We got a bit lazy with contraception just before he left.

In June 2010 I developed severe back ache and felt dizzy, DH was in Afghanistan. I drove myself to A&E where my blood pressure was very low and a scan showed an ectopic on the left. I had emergency surgery & my left tube removed that night.

I was devastated, at the loss of my baby, my tube and my (perceived) loss of future fertility.

July 2010 DH returned home and I got my BFP the next month, my beautiful DD1 arrived April 2013.

Mindful that it might take me a bit longer to conceive again we stopped using contraception when DD1 was 14 months. I was pregnant within 3 months and now have 2 beautiful girls with a 23 month gap.

SnowdropHope Tue 02-Jul-13 23:10:14

Hi, I wanted to share my story to give hope to all those who have suffered an ectopic pregnancy.
I am 35 and I have one beautiful DD aged 2 from IVF after 5 years of infertility (due to having a very low AMH, which means I am close to menopause, and a bicornuate uterus). I thought I wouldn't have anymore children so when I discovered I was pregnant again (naturally) in May 2012 I was thrilled. I miscarried at 9 weeks after weeks of unexplained but light bleeding. I conceived again in October with a twin pregnancy one in uterine the other in my right tube. I lost the uterine pregnancy at 5 weeks and waited for my hcg levels to drop. However they kept climbing and no baby could be found the hospital suggested EP but I was convinced that I had already lost the baby so there was probably just some tissue left behind, however the HCG levels continued to rise and at 9 weeks a baby was idenitified in my right tube. I lost my right tube. I waited for my first period and then my consultant told me with my history and complications I should continue to try for a baby. I got pregnant on the first cycle of trying. This pregnancy has been very difficult for me emotionally as I have constantly been worrying about something going wrong especially as I am at risk of having a late miscarriage or preterm birth due to the bicornuate uterus. I am 24 weeks pregnant this week and each day that goes by I feel more settled.
This site has really helped me through the dark days of the EP, So I would like to thank everyone who has posted on here. It is lovely to hear so many happy outcomes after such an awful experience.

vectradiva Wed 03-Jul-13 21:54:05

we had a service at the hospital chapel today for ourlittle one was beautiful then we got to walk to a memorial tree and tie a ribbon on it for him.it has a little plaque under it which says from little acorns grow mighty oaks

Bakingtins Wed 24-Jul-13 17:03:08

bumping for Myrtle - can any of you help her?

dILeMma23 Mon 29-Jul-13 10:49:27

Hi my Name is Emma I am 23.

I shall write you my story.. not sure where to start but here goes.

I did a pregnancy test on the 5th of july(Friday) which was positive as my fiancee and I were just trying to see if we would get pregnant as I came off the pill last year December and I was shocked and he was so happy of the thought of becoming a Dad.

That all changed as saturday I started feeling pains in my left side and was slightly spotting, Then Sunday the Pain were getting bad only on and off but they were sharp and made me cry and it was hard to walk so I ended up crawling up the stairs into bed.

Monday 8th July I went to my Doctors and he said it sounded like Ectopic so wanted me to be seen in A & E. My Doctor wanted me to go by ambulance but said it would take a hour so instead my other half drove me to A & E and waited quite some time.

I was in A&E explaining myself all over again to more doctors, getting prodded internally which was extremely painful, then blood taken to see what my HCG levels were and then a scan but all between that it was a horrible waiting game for the blood results. The scan showed nothing but cyst's (They did two scans one internal and the usual one).

Later on I had my HCG back 132 and they said I was 5weeks 1 day as my last LMP was June 2nd. The doctor told me as it was so low it was likely to be a miscarriage but to be sure I had to come back on wednesday 10th for another HCG test.

I thought I would be fine to go to work on 9th between all the drama. People were asking me why I was so quite, as usually i'm very bubbly talk to everyone , this day I really did not feel like sharing what was wrong with me. On and off I would start to cry, I missed most of my breaks as I couldn't bare the thought of people asking me why I didn't want to talk, I took one break and then got extremely upset and then started getting extremely sharp pains, my friends other half drove me home and said do I need to take you to A& E. I just thought miscarriages were this painful and that nothing could be done for me.

Wednesday 10th went back to hospital later onto be told my levels were at 50... finally some answers okay a miscarriage I thought to my self ( I can handle finally knowing what was wrong with me), I cried instantly when she told me .
So I just let it takes it course, I took the week off, but still was experiencing extreme back pain , sharp pains on and off but the bleeding wasn't like a period properly , I couldn't walk for 5 minutes without feeling like I had to sit back down again.

I went back to work on the 15th July (Monday) obviously all my managers new what was wrong... I carried on thinking I can handle it I have had a few days off to get over this, We can just try again. I called back on the 18th (Wednesday) to the EPU to say my test was positive as they said for me to . I was told to ring back on the 22nd July (monday) it seemed like torture to wait till monday.

I tested positive again , during the whole week I felt I was going to be sick , still getting slight pain almost like a stitch , I couldn't walk for Long , I kept on thinking I am not unfit I am healthy I exercise three times a week eat healthy why do I feel as if I have been walking for hours!

22nd they did a scan showed nothing, which was devastating as I had all the symptoms of being pregnant, my blood had been taken again I was told to call back at 2pm so after I finished at the hospital I went straight back to work.

I was also slightly bleeding again not again like a period.

I called back at 2 ..they hadn't had my results yet so waited to be called back . I finish at 3 at work so just as I am getting ready to leave she tells me Emma sorry about the bad news but your hcg is 1507 and we would of expected to definitely see a baby in the scan , I need to consult with the Emergency GYN and I will call you back sad I bursted into tears feeling so scared, my two bosses walked in a couple minutes later and were just puzzled to why I hadn't gone home. I explained and they said to take the rest of the week off .

I was called back to say they needed me in hospital in the morning and to be NBM by the morning as most likely they will need to do an emergency operation.

I went in on the 24th had my consultation and started to feel sharp pains again, I was crying in pain on a bed and was told I had to wait till 4pm as someone else was before me and that they were short staffed.

I woke up later at 7pm and wasn't told what had happened ... I kinda new from the pain they removed my left tube...I found out by 10ish am the following day they had and that I have a condition called Endometriosis .

They said a pregnancy should help my condition but as I think everyone is scared after having a ectopic pregnancy being told u have a high chance of ectopic again...

I have been told when I am ready to try again, if I have no luck after trying for 6months they will discuss my case and if I did become pregnant I would have to have a early scan..

I was 7 weeks pregnant and my first time all of this was quite traumatic .

So far the hospital has only signed me off for 2 weeks but said I would have to go back to my doctor to be signed off for more they said usually 1month recovering . Is this the right amount of time?

So far I am not sleeping that well at night, i'm hardly eating and in the morning/afternoon I feel up beat and all of sudden when it gets later on in the day I feel grumpy and down . I do realise though this is completely normal, my other half just tries to make me laugh and keep my company .

I just realise though I am very lucky to have such supporting family and friends and that I wasn't to far along in the pregnancy . As my other half business partner friends lost twins at 6months . I just have to think that always somewhere else in the world someone else is going through a difficult time and that were not alone.

sorry for rambling on this is my first time talking about it.

Thanks for listening .

1991cfh Tue 13-Aug-13 23:46:21

Hello

My names Christi-Ann and in may 2013 i had an ectopic pregnancy, I was having these weird cramps in my stomach which didn't feel like a period, I suffer with polo cystic ovaries so my periods are very irregular normally I thought nothing of it, I spoke to my mum and these pains were still there and getting really uncomfortable..mum said just take a pregnancy test to rule it out so I did and I was pregnant, I wasn't trying but once I found out I was over joyed, I've always wanted to be a mum I've been talking about babies since I was 10...and to think I was having one of my own with my already complicated situation I felt so blessed..and truly happy, it all turned horribly wrong and resulted in me being admitted to hospital two weeks later with a burst tube screaming with unbearable pain, they told me on my internal scan they couldn't find anything in my womb..they later diagnosed me with an ectopic and said I needed surgery as i Was bleeding internally, any women out their will know the physical nd mental pain that caused, not only had I lost my baby but my tube too..it's now 3months on and I still get the lump in my throat and my eyes welling up I can't stop it, I find myself thinking why am I the minority isn't it enough I've got polo cystic ovaries and now to take a tube away? It breaks my heart everyday and consumes my thoughts everyday, that was my baby and I would of loved and cared for it till I died..I can't change the past, no one can..it wasn't my turn but will it ever be, I'm so scared I'm not going to be able to have kids normally, so cared I spent hundreds on a clear blue fertility monitor and stick just to see if I'm fertile, even that I'm scared to use it incase it shows what I can't bear to think about :-(please if there's anyone out there that can relate to me please reply I'm in need of someone who knows how I feel

Thank you for reading.

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 15-Aug-13 18:16:29

hi Christi -Ann, so sorry that you have been through this, it is traumatic. It does get easier but it takes time. I only have one tube after my EP and I conceived again, a lot of women conceive again. But you need time to heal mentally and physically first. The EPT website is very good, you have probably already found it. Concentrate on getting back to your old self first before you think about conceiving again.Take care x

dilemma you've really been through it, hope that you are healing well x

1991cfh Thu 15-Aug-13 22:39:26

Thanks so much for your support I'm only 21 I still have time I conceived once so hopefully I will again I'm all healed now physically its just mental not a day goes by I wonder what my baby would have been like, looked like p..I'm very maternal and broody all the time but decided to focus on my career for 1-2 years before trying, I hope I have your luck, and I thank you truly for taking the time to contact me

God bless

Countmyblessings Tue 17-Sep-13 23:57:24

Just checking in to see if anyone is still lurking!
Update baby girl is 6 months now never thought I would get here!
Anyone who finds themselves on this thread I hope the journey that some of us where on gives you a little bit of hope! A rainbow after the rain!!!!

tasmaniandevilchaser Wed 18-Sep-13 13:44:30

hi count! nice to hear from you, wow babycount is 6mths?! Time flies! Hope she is doing well and bringing much happiness and love to your life. mini tas is 4 mths and although very small, he is very jolly, we are very blessed. I can look back on my EP now without that terrible heavy sad feeling, wishing all those reading some peace too.

I don't suppose iloveberries is still around, but if you are, I've been thinking of you, hope life is treating you well

geminiLouise Thu 19-Sep-13 12:43:12

hi all im so glad I found this.. this is my story: on Thursday (12th) I started bleeding (2wks before my due date for period) so I googled it & it said spotting in pregnancy, so I waited til Saturday when my hubby was back from working away & done 2 tests & both were positive. I then went to emergency doctors that day as still bleeding they advised me 2 go 2 a&e. at a&e I had cervix examinations and blood tests to c what my hormone level was (6480) then told to come to the rosie maternity hospital on Monday (16th) and I had an internal scan and no baby was found so they said its highly likely ive miscarried they also done my bloods again, and if I was miscarrying they should go down but I got a call that nite saying they had risen to 7680 which means there was still a pregnancy happening. I went straight back to the rosie Tuesday for more examinations and then another internal scan where they found the baby in my right fallopian tube I then got given a bed and told I needed surgery that day and I went down for surgery Tuesday (17th) bout 530pm, I had a cut in my belly button for the camera 2 go in and cuts on both fallopian tubes. ive had my right fallopian tube completely removed as the babys sac was about to rupture. im currently laid up in bed in absolute agony and a head of confusion from the whirlwind past few days

Countmyblessings Thu 19-Sep-13 20:36:09

Oh GL - I'm so very sorry you are here! Words can express the feelings you must be going through but I do hope you get a chance to read this thread from the start! Although it's such a personal thing your going through just to say you are not alone and although not in RL but we all have a silent bond of being in your shoes! I do hope you have support in RL and please don't bottle your feelings up talk about how your feelings and it can all be so emotional as hormones are still in your body! Mines felt pregnant after all of this too so don't be shocked!!!
I pray you take 1 day at a time and give yourself a time to heal & deal- xx

Bakingtins Thu 03-Oct-13 16:43:02

Bumping thread for emogirl

emogirly6 Thu 03-Oct-13 19:28:28

Hello all,
hope everyone is feeling and finding the support they need in this hard time <3 <3

Mine was two weeks ago, i always wanted to be a mum young and its been a dream for afew years, i tried in april and miscarried twins in june, just a day after my birthday,
i then fell pregnant two weeks following but without realising it.
I was rushed into emergency theatre as the pregnancy had ruptured in the tube and bled internally. i lost my right tube and ovary as the bleeding was critical.
I feel grateful that that they were able to save my life but devastated at the loss of all three of my babies in such a short time.
I still have my left ovary i just hope hard that i will be a mum someday, keeping positive with my kittens, they keep me on my toes enough
just had to share to because its hurting to keep it inside xx

big love to you all <3 <3 <3

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 03-Oct-13 20:29:12

hi emogirly, so sorry to hear what a rough time you've had. It does hurt to keep it inside, keep talking/posting. I remember a time when I couldn't not talk about my EP, it hurt physically to keep it in. I hope you've got lots of love and support with you now, having kittens sounds good for snuggling.

I had a m/c and then an EP within a few weeks, it was a really terrible time and it took a good while to feel normal again. What helped me was a holiday and some counselling, but it's different for everyone, as long as you can find something good that helps you to heal. Lots of women conceive after having an ectopic (I did about 5 months after mine, he was worth the wait!) I hope that you do too, but don't underestimate what a lot of stress you've been through, give yourself lots of time to get back to your normal self and be very kind to yourself.
Take care x

emogirly6 Thu 03-Oct-13 20:56:03

Hi tasmaniandevilchaser,
Sorry to hear about your experiences sending you my love.
It's reassuring to hear that you were able to concieve again afterwards.
It's nice to feel not alone I guess for everyone it's a very lonely time and sometimes I feel like I need to keep strong for the sake of my friends and family.
I'm glad I found this website, it's definitely given me some peace of mind, xx
Sending you love and well wishes xxx

PunkyBubba Tue 15-Oct-13 14:14:47

Hi all, I just want to also say thank you for the thread. I had emergency surgery on Thursday night for a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I lost my right tube, obviously the baby (at 8 weeks) and a load of blood. I am currently recovering at my parents house from the surgery as DH looks after DS back home.

I read the whole thread while in hospital, and I have to say it helped me a lot, making me a lot more positive about ttc again after the 3 months recovery are up, and just making me feel like there are normal people out there who have been through the same thing and understand, as no one in my RL does.

How are you feeling now emogirly? I know it's been less than a week for me but apart from a few tears in hospital I still feel fairly unemotional. I'm not sure if it is all going to hit me when I get home (from my parents house), or whether because I felt there was something wrong with the pregnancy from the start I am going to be ok. I guess I just have to wait and see.

sending much love to everyone who has been through this horrific experience.xxxx

tasmaniandevilchaser Sun 20-Oct-13 20:22:42

hi punky hope you're recovering well, glad the thread has helped. I don't know anyone else in RL that's had an EP either, I don't know what I'd have done without the internet!

I hope you're ok emotionally as well, I know everyone deals with it differently, I was definitely in shock after mine and was very matter of fact about it to start with. I remember posting about it on another thread and someone saying 'you seem in shock' and I thought they were mad! That did change though, make sure you let out what you need to when you need to, otherwise it builds up and festers. Take care of yourself x

PunkyBubba Wed 23-Oct-13 11:21:56

Hi Tas thanks for your reply. I think you hit the nail on the head about being in shock, and also I think it has been building up a bit to the point that now, 2 weeks on I feel constantly feel on the edge of tears, and at time feel like there is a huge lump in my throat or chest.. but I am scared to let it out in case I totally lose control. I thought I was coping really well but apparently not.

Anyway, I saw my GP this morning and have been signed off work for another 2 weeks (probably due to bursting into tears as soon as he asked me to tell him what happened). Hopefully I will feel more normal then, though he also said it could take months for my metabolism to get back to normal after the surgery, which explains why I just feel like i have no energy at all still.

xx

tasmaniandevilchaser Fri 25-Oct-13 19:06:05

Hi punky it all sounds very normal to me! I don't even really like the phrase 'coping well' as it makes it sound like you're not supposed to cry or show any emotion, whereas I think you need to let it out and heal in your own time. It's about finding what is healing for you, some people go back to work quite quickly, others don't. Both strategies are ok, as long as that works for you. I was utterly exhausted after the surgery, it was my first real surgery, under GA, and I was surprised how much the GA affected me. Take good care of yourself, and eat lots of healthy food (and treats!) as it's easy to get ill after surgery, your body has been through an ordeal. Take care x

tiredandiwanttogotobed Tue 29-Oct-13 00:16:49

Hi Tas and Count, I'm still lurking baby Tired is 7.5mo and totally gorgeous smile, hope your LO's are well?

To all the new EP's we know exactly how you feel but we (and our LO's) are living proof that there is hope out there, just be kind to yourselves, don't try to cope-cry, talk and let it out. This thread and the people on it were a fabulous help to me emotionally and I hope it will be to you too thanks

babybluebell Thu 31-Oct-13 10:22:44

Hello everyone,
After 10 days of uncertainty (during which, I had scans, blood tests etc), I had surgery for a suspected ectopic pregnancy just over a week ago. It was a much longed for first pregnancy at quite a advanced age for a baby (I am the wrong side of 40).
Initially there had been problems with my hCG levels, but latterly they'd been doubling as they should, so I was cautiously optimistic that whilst initial TVS scans had been unable to locate the pregnancy, eventually a baby would show up.
Unfortunately, this didn't happen and at just over 7 weeks, there was still no sign of a pregnancy in the uterus and for the 1st time the consultant located a ‘suspect area’ near my left ovary.
After immense pressure to have methotrexate (with hCG levels of nearly 5,000), the hospital eventually backed off and I saw a different consultant. However, he made it clear the situation could not be allowed to continue and I finally consented, albeit reluctantly, to immediate surgery. When I came round, I learned that they'd not found a pregnancy in the tubes, and that the area the'd seen was adhesions. They'd therefore done an ERPC, the residue from which they will test.
I'm now having nightmares there was something viable in my womb after all, that got sucked out by the EPRC. The hospital has assured me this couldn’t be the case, but the lack of clarity in terms of where the pregnancy actually was does not help. I guess that throughout all everything, my heart had been fanning the hope there was a baby in there somewhere... perhaps a bit shy, or simply biding his/her time to make its appearance.
I'm devastated and can't seem to pull myself together or stop crying. The [very] few members of my family I have told (all of whom are lucky enough to have children of their own) expressed sympathy when I told them, but have not cared enough to ask how I am since - its as if the operation was just like the inconvenience of an ingrown toenail, but to me it was the end of my dreams.
It doesn't help that the other women I was in contact with who are in early pregnancy are now having scans, seeing heartbeats and their babies growing. I know they feel for me and I am happy for them, but it is all so painful.
I'm feeling really desperate and my DH is fed up with my tears. Has anyone else felt this bad? And if so, how long did it take you to recover?
Thanks to anyone who can help - I really don't know where to turn at the moment.
Bluebell

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 31-Oct-13 21:32:33

babybluebell what an awful experience, no wonder you are feeling desperate! Yes I most definitely felt that bad, it took a while to pass, I won't lie, it took a good couple of months to completely feel myself, though I did make it back to work after 2 weeks. I went for counselling, it was really good for me, is that something that appeals to you if there isn't anyone in rl that will listen? The EPT website is good as well, and always come on here to let off some steam. Hope you feel better soon

Tearyeyes Fri 01-Nov-13 22:00:34

Im emotionally drained i cry a lot dont have support 4rm dh he says im always complaining about pains

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