Think I am miscarrying - someone hold my hand please?

(38 Posts)
RubyrooUK Sat 14-Jan-12 19:50:16

Hello, I think I am miscarrying. Could someone please just hold my hand over the next couple of days?

I am quite early in pregnancy (I was breastfeeding till 16mo, stopped, immediately got pregnant) so probably around 5 weeks. Zillions of positive tests. I desperately wanted this baby. It took me three years to conceive my son as I didn't ovulate and I was stunned to conceive naturally. Especially as in November, my fertility nurse gave me provera to induce a bleed and it didn't work.

So I thought I was pretty much hormonally rubbish and would be going down the assisted conception route. I was thrilled to get pregnant just by having sex like everybody else (well, not everyone but the lucky ones).

This morning I started bleeding. No pain, just blood. It is red blood, not spotting. It isn't pink or brown, it's red. It hasn't soaked any sanitary towels or anything so light compared to one of my usual heavy periods so far, but now my mind is racing and I didn't feel particularly sick the last couple of days when I had been feeling really quite queasy beforehand. This really doesn't feel like spotting or light bleed etc - it feels like a decent period without cramps/pain as yet.

Anyway, rung NHS Direct. The doctor told me to lie down and call my GP on Monday. Or if it gets very painful, I should go to A&E.

So here I am, lying on my sofa feeling sad. I am trying to remember that I have a son who I never thought I would have; this means I can apply for my much-deserved promotion at work without worrying about confessing I'm pregnant or throwing up at a board meeting; and a miscarriage does not mean no more babies. But I can't stop the tears trickling down my cheeks.

We had family over today who turned up seconds after I started bleeding and now my DH is busy putting our son to bed. I've done cheery small talk and building tower of blocks with a toddler for the last eight hours and I just want to be really sad somewhere. So I came here.

Latsia Sun 15-Jan-12 10:46:22

Oh I'm glad you're going in. That feels like the right thing to do. Thinking of you here too.

RubyrooUK Sun 15-Jan-12 15:07:58

A quick update...

...went into A&E and got sent to emergency women's diagnostic unit. Had a scan and blood test.

The pregnancy test was still showing positive but the scan showed nothing left in my womb. They took a good look and thought they could see a trace of where it had been but it's all gone now.

With that in mind, they had a good look to check it wasn't ectopic and did a blood test.

Given this is the hospital where I've received some pretty crap care before, the doctors were lovely. I saw both the registrar and a consultant. The consultant was experienced at ectopics so that made me feel a bit better.

Also the consultant said that given my complex fertility history, she thinks the fertility unit should be following up with me. So even though they discharged me last week on the grounds that I had a natural conception, she advised they should monitor me carefully. Especially given my past history of possibly low progesterone.

So everyone was nice. I asked lots of questions and deflected my sadness with jokes (old habits die hard) as I didn't want to be too emotional in front of everyone and this was made easier as I was alone with two doctors and two medical students while my DH was chasing our toddler round reception stopping him touching medical devices.

So my DH found the actual hospital visit more upsetting than me because he felt he couldn't support me properly and hear everything due to toddler issues. I feel like at least I know now. I read my body properly and hopefully we can move on.

Thank you everybody for helping me over the last 24 hours. I expect I'll keep feeling sad but you have all really made this much easier to deal with. So again, thank you.

Boysrstupid Sun 15-Jan-12 17:08:51

thanks

So sorry to hear this news Ruby. Look after yourself.

GodisaDj Sun 15-Jan-12 17:38:30

Sorry to hear ruby. I'm at least pleased you had nice support at hospital. All the best in the future.

Beamur Sun 15-Jan-12 18:30:02

So sorry Ruby - some small consolation that it doesn't sound like you will need follow up treatment for the m/c and that the hospital are offering more support and monitoring.
It may takes a while to come to terms with what has happened. Be nice to yourself and take it easy.

ohmeohmy Sun 15-Jan-12 18:37:24

Sorry to hear your news. Hope you and DH get the follow up support you need.

Latsia Sun 15-Jan-12 18:57:31

I'm so sorry Ruby. Especially because you already knew. Just one more big hug from me. X

RubyrooUK Sat 26-Jan-13 19:00:41

Hello, small update for everyone who was kind enough to support me through my miscarriage at this time last year (can't believe it was so long ago). Thank you for holding my hand at an awful time.

I'm feeling much better now and am happily (and fatly) 33 weeks pregnant with DS2. So one year on, hopefully a better way to start this year.

SquashNutButter Sat 26-Jan-13 19:09:17

Congrats!

OneHundredSecondsofSolitude Sat 26-Jan-13 19:15:45

Oh wow! What brilliant news, congratulations. I hadn't noticed the date and was feeling so sad for you. How wonderful smile

RubyrooUK Sat 26-Jan-13 19:20:12

Yes sorry OneHundred for the rollercoaster thread - I just found this tucked away as I was thinking about my miscarriage at this time last year.

So I thought I would let all the lovely people who supported me when I felt so bad know that the start of this year has so far been pretty good - fingers crossed all will go to plan now!

Goodkingwalkingslass Sat 26-Jan-13 19:21:31

Brilliant news, congratulations

OneHundredSecondsofSolitude Sat 26-Jan-13 20:33:01

Don't be sorry, be happy happy happy smile

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