Tips for coping with the practicalities of miscarriage

(315 Posts)
comeonbishbosh Wed 16-Nov-11 10:58:13

I?ve just had mc2, which has been emotionally more upsetting than mc1, but I coped a heck of a lot better on the practical side of managing it. And I realise that through the pregnancy books are full of tips on what types of sweets to pack in your hospital bag for labour, we?re pretty short of simple tips to make the sheer yuckiness of going through a miscarriage a little more bearable. I know there?s going to be big variations in people?s experience, and this is in no way to overrule any medical advice you get. But at least it might be a starting point.

For info, I had mc1 8 months ago, didn?t realise I was pg at the time (just come off breastfeeding DD, had massive problems conceiving before) but was probably 8-12 weeks. Didn?t realise it was actually a mc until a lot of mess later. MC2 was a few days ago, had a bit more notice as knew I was 8 wk pregnant, had been increasingly bleeding, and knowing a bit more what it was like through mc1. Neither time I needed to go to hospital.

So, this is what I would suggest helps from my experience, all offered as suggestions that may or may not apply to your situation!

1. Once you realise the bleeding has started in earnest, get home as soon as you can. You will probably need to sit on the loo for the next 1-3 hours, and that?s far nicer to do in the comfort of your own home.

2. If you need to travel in a car, sit on a plastic bag. (My 1st mc started at work, and by the time my DH came and picked me up in the car I had bleeding all down my trousers... it?s not glamorous).

3. Cancel everything, get childcare if you need it. The first time in the midst of the bleeding I tried to keep going, a builder came round to give me a quote for some work, DH went out on a pre-arranged cinema trip and I was putting DD to bed on my own. However hard it is to get a builder to quote, this was stupid priorities! Also, I now know best not to be left without another adult within shouting distance.

4. Settle in for the long haul. My mc2 was overnight, and I essentially camped out in the bathroom with magazines, world service on the radio, short scurries downstairs to make a hot chocolate. It was still horrible. But not unremittingly so.

5. Hot water bottles or hot wheatbags are great. And painkillers.

6. Get top quality sanitary pads, supersize. The maternity ones might be good for the first few hours if you can?t just sit on the loo, but they will make you miserable with their ungainliness. This is not a time to economise on the cheap versions.

7. If your mc kicks off at an evening or weekend, I found phoning my GPs ?out of hours? service loads more helpful, straightforward and kind than I have ever found NHS direct.

8. If take a pg test when you are miscarrying, it should come out positive. This is useful if, like me on mc1, I didn?t know I was pg at the time.

9. Take more time off work than you think. You are very much allowed to mooch.

Please do add any more tips. It goes without saying that I hope you and I never need these (again)?

Wifeyclaire Wed 24-Dec-14 18:13:46

Totally deverstated went for a scan 2day but no heart beat had pain for a couple of day this is my 8th loss but Iv always had to have surgery as my body never does it naturally but doc wanna wait and see I'm scared it hurts

bakingtins Sat 20-Dec-14 12:12:29


HazelBeth Mon 15-Dec-14 13:45:05

Thank you everyone for this thread, it kept me sane while I was going through my mc over the previous two evenings. I thought I would share my experiences as well. I started bleeding over 3 weeks ago, when I was only about 4 weeks along. I had multiple scans (5 in total) which showed a sac but no fetal pole or yolk, pairing this with the bleeding I just knew this was a blighted ovum and that I was going to miscarry. However the EPU had to keep rescanning as the sac needed to measure 25mm in order to diagnose a blighted ovum and it was only at 19mm at the last scan. I'm due to be scanned next Friday and then they would discuss medical or surgical management but obviously this won't be necessary. Do you think I should still go to the scan to ensure that everything has passed?

If I ever has the misfortune of going through this again I think I would opt for surgical management. In the three weeks of bleeding I was scared to go out in case I had the mc while I was out or it started on the train or somewhere quite awkward. With the surgery at least it's a weight off your shoulders and you aren't in limbo.

So Saturday night I had the majority of the mc, I took paracetamol and ibuprofen and used a heated shiatsu pillow on my stomach, I use this during my periods as well and it seems to help with the cramps. The pains were like intense period pains but they went on for a lot longer than my usual period pains, lasting for about 4-5 hours despite the painkillers. Though I had passed lots of clots I knew that I had not passed the sac but I managed to fall asleep in the midst of things. When I woke up on Sunday, the bleeding and the clots had stopped but I cancelled all my plans and stayed home because I just knew the rest would be on it's way soon. It wasn't until the evening that the cramps started up again, this time it was very brief, maybe half an hour but the volume of clots and blood was incredible and I passed the sac (I have a fairly gruesome picture of the sac if anyone is interested). It is difficult to know when it is necessary to go to hospital, I think if you can manage the pain then you are fine to be at home but I think if you are feeling faint or pass out then you really need to seek medical attention. Luckily for me the blood loss slowed and I was able to just go to bed.

Thanks again to everyone who has shared their experiences. Before I went through this I was clueless about what was involved in a miscarriage. I don't think enough information is made available and sources like this are so valuable!

bakingtins Wed 10-Dec-14 10:30:59

Bump for elvi.

EmilyM1987 Thu 27-Nov-14 11:45:44

Mountaingirl01 - what did the nurses at EPU advise? I was 6 weeks also and although I bled heavily it wasn't the amount to soak through onto my clothes. As long as you prepare yourself with long, chunky pads and make your toilet visits more regular. Unfortunately you can't use tampons so you will need to use pads. Stock up on paracetamol and pack a hot water bottle for your trip to France. You may want to tell your friend especially if you have bigs plans as these could be effected. My weekend and this week have involved lots of rest.
I suppose each lady is different, and I can only advise from my experience.
Take care.

mountaingirl01 Thu 27-Nov-14 11:08:18

Thank you all for your stories.
I started bleeding on Monday which would have been 6+3, brown at first then red and clotty. Not a huge amount though, I filled about 1 pad. I went to epu about 4 pm and was scanned. There was no obvious sac just a 'mess of blood and clots' at the top of the screen. I have been bleeding red ever since but only really when I wipe (a fair bit then). My hcg levels have gone from 650 on Monday to 230 yesterday. Should I be expecting a huge bleed within the next few days? I'm scared, I hate using pads, I'm due to fly to France to see a friend on saturday , I just don't know what to expect. This is all just so horrific.

EmilyM1987 Tue 25-Nov-14 18:16:18

Thank you to all for sharing your own experiences, this really is such a great and helpful thread.
I'd like to share my experience with you all having been empowered to do so after reading so many of the messages above.
Today I have had my complete miscarriage confirmed. I mc'd naturally close to being 6 weeks pregnant.
It all started on Thursday afternoon with a very light brown discharge when wiping after the toilet, no pain apart from a dull ache which I'd had a few days never thinking too much of it.
Friday afternoon and I started to lightly spot red blood, due to this being my 1st pregnancy I thought best to call NHS direct who advised me to see my gp.
Luckily I saw the gp late Friday evening and after taking my blood pressure and hearing the change of brown to red blood she thought it best to refer me to the EPU at my local hospital for an early scan. With it being Friday evening EPU were closed and the GP could only leave an answer phone message for them to receive on Monday am.
Friday night at home is when the bleeding became heavy and clots and tissue started to be past. I was woken at 1am in agony with abdominal pain, I took paracetamol, used a hot water bottle and breathed through the pain. I thought about going to A&E but the thought of moving was too much.
I bled heavily into Saturday and Sunday passing big pieces of tissue which would sink to the bottom of the toilet. All I could do was stare in shock, what was my body doing. Deep down I knew this wasn't how a pregnancy should be.
Sunday afternoon I felt drained having not had an appetite, I was pale with no energy and my back was aching so much. The hot water bottle which had been massively helping the abdominal pain was now used to ease the back pain. I ate a bag of salty crisps which seemed to help bring me round and kept on drinking plenty of water.
Monday am came and I desperately wanted the phone to ring. I was still bleeding, and was used to wearing sanitary towels and big knickers again!
EPU called and asked me to come for a scan at half11 Tuesday (today).
This morning the bleeding had reduced, returned to resemble brown discharge again with a dull ache across my stomach.
3 nurses saw me at the EPU, they advised I'd need an internal scan. The scan wasn't painful and lasted 15 minutes.
After which they confirmed I had mc naturally which was the most natural way for my body.
A negative pregnancy test using my urine confirmed it.
The nurses did comment that my womb & ovaries looked healthy which as this was my first pregnancy is good to hear.
In 11 days I've gone from finding out I was pregnant to being told I had mc.
One minute I'm staring into space feeling numb, the next making myself busy by sorting washing and the next crying or getting angry.
I'll echo what many of the messages above say, to all the women who have posted, thank you for sharing. And to those reading and wondering 'is this happening to me' as I was thinking only a few days ago, I'm sorry for the pain and uncertainty you are suffering. I hope you get your answers soon.
Much love to all xx

SuperGlue Tue 25-Nov-14 17:29:06

Hello all,
this is such a sad thread laying out all these irreplacable losses. I had a complete miscarriage at home at 7am yesterday morning. I was 11wks 5 days but we discovered at a dating scan at 9wks 1 day that very sadly we had a slow growing embryo and there was little chance of things turning out ok. We were originally sent away for 12 days to see if there would be any growth and there was, so we were then sent away to wait a further 7 days to measure any further growth, 6 days into that second wait, I miscarried at home.

As you can imagine I had a lot of time on my hands during these waiting periods and I did a lot of reading here on MN and I sort of read this thread but to be perfectly honest the first page or two scared me witless of what might be to come for me. I had to stop reading.

It all seemed so horrific that I was determined to go in and have the d&c done rather than face handling it at home myself. I was terrified by the stories of needing to sit on the toilet for 3 -4 hours and needing to wear nappies etc. The EPU warned us that if the bleeding was worse than a regular heavy period to come straight to maternity A&E. We live almost an hour from the maternity hospital and have a 9yr old dd and no family closer than 150 miles away. So you can imagine how scared I was of it all.

I had an appointment for the EPU for a scan at 11am yesterday, Monday, but on saturday evening at about 5pm I had some spotting - panic and horror from me, despite knowing it could happen at any moment.

My very good friend took dd for a sleep over and I hoped that if it as going to happen that way it would happen while she was away. It did not.

The spotting progresses to light but consistent bleeding all day sunday. DD came home at about 6pm and by then I had quite strong pains in very low abdomen so I lay on the sofa with a hot water bottle and watched x factor with her.

I felt quite nauseous and did not feel like eating dinner which dh had cooked for us all. He put dd to bed at 8.30pm and I stayed on the sofa. I was moderately uncomfortable and the bleeding had now increased to the level of a regular period.

I took 2 painkiller and went to bed at about 11.30pm. I was very restless though and could not get comfortable and my mind was racing so asked dh to go to spare room so I could toss and turn without disturbing him or feeling like I needed to lie still etc. I did not sleep. Pains grew worse, like quite intense period pains, but nothing like as severe as contractions giving birth to dd.

I must have drifted off to sleep sometime between 4-5am but woke suddenly at 6am, registered that the pain was now sort of building to a cresendo and easing off repeatedly and that the bleeding seemed heavier. I went to the toilet to check and passed a large clot there. Changed pads and went back to bed. About 20mins later needed to change the pad again, another largish clot and increased pain. Dh had heard me in the loo and come back to our bed by then. He went to rub my back which normally I love but I did not like being touched. I felt like I had withdrawn into myself somehow and could only focus on what was happening inside me if that makes sense.

At 7 am I felt the urge to go back to the bathroom and as soon as I sat down something big whooshed out of me, giving me a real fright, I sort of gasped and started to shake and cry all at the same time. It was the most disconcerting sensation ever to feel a large thing just fall out of your body. I was fairly sure it was the sac but did not investigate too far.

I was shivering and shaking when I went back to bed and dh cuddled me and I straight away felt very different. I can't describe it except to say it felt like the storm had passed. I continued to have pains and at 8am got up t change pads again, passed another few large lots but immediately felt better and the bleeding eased of considerably. At 8.30am I was sorting dd's hair for school! Dh droped her in and we went to the hospital for 11am.

The scan confirmed that I had had a complete miscarriage and by that stage the bleeding was light though I was veyr pale and tired.

I went to bed in the afternoon yesterday but despite feeling wiped out I could not sleep. I had 2 glasses of wine last night with dh and thought that would tip me over the edge of sleep but I slept badly last night too and woke today feeling very flat and energyless.

I guess I was 'lucky' to have had the experience I did, it was by no means pleasant but it was not as horrific as I had imagined. I used regular sanitary pads, long length ones and when in bed during the worst of the bleeding I doubled them, placing them length to length to make them long at the back. I needed to change them about every 30-40 mins for about 2 hours but that was it. I took regular painkillers, whatever dh found in the cupboard but I took about 8 of them over 12 -16 hours.

I feel very bruised inside toady and have been getting period like pains on and off but the bleeding is moderate, like a regular period towards the end.

Even though I had been dreading it all, I think I am glad now that it happened the way it did. Good luck to anyone waiting in this dreadful position. And I hope this post helps to set some fear a little bit at bay.

Smallthings79 Sat 22-Nov-14 18:01:37

I think another practicality worth mentioning is the fact that a day or two after your MC your hormones are likely to crash. Today (1 day post ERPC) has been the worst day for me emotionally since finding out about my MC. It feels similar to the baby blues, only I've got no baby :-(

So, get tissues in, be nice to yourself and be prepared to feel very up and down. It sucks.

Onwards2014 Fri 21-Nov-14 15:42:40

thanks smallthings

Smallthings79 Fri 21-Nov-14 15:38:54

I had my 12 week scan on Tuesday and found out I'd had a MMC. The babies (looked like it wast twins) died between 6-7 weeks. I'd had no bleeding or cramping what so ever, however I had commented to a few people that I just didn't feel pregnant. I kind of put it down to running around after my 10 month old and not having much time to think about it though.

I was given the option of booking an ERPC there and then as I was very certain of my dates. I've just returned from the hospital today having had the procedure.

The evening after the scan I started to bleed and cramp (pretty lightly though). It only seemed to last for a few hours at around the same time every night. I though that I might miscarry naturally before I got in for the op today so here's what I did to prepare:

1: I followed lots of the practical advice already given in this thread regarding having pads, towels, wipes, etc, ready.

2. I showered, blow dried my hair and tied it up out of the way, put nice body cream and spray on, applied a little make up and painted my nails. I figured that if I did end up going through it at home I didn't want to look in the mirror and see a total wreck, or spend hours staring at my chipped toenails while I was on the loo or smell myself as I sweated through the worst. It's not a vanity thing, but leading up to it I was in a very pragmatic frame of mind and I tried to think of myself going through it in the same way as I would think of a very good friend. I asked myself what could I do to make it easier on myself?

Thankfully the bleeding remained light and I was able to make it for the ERPC this morning. The hospital staff were great, the procedure itself has been fine and now that I'm home I feel a little sore, drained and woozy but I'm glad it's over and I can start looking forward. For me I needed some closure ASAP.

In terms of my attitude to what has happened I'm trying to view it in the following way:

1: It's my first MC. I'm lucky enough to have a beautiful DD whom I carried without issue. During my scan the staff checked my womb and ovaries and everything looks fine. This bodes well for future pregnancies.
2: To MC is obviously very common. It's a horrible experiance to go through (especially as I thought I was out of the woods) but it doesn't mean I can't go on to have more children. I don't see the point in being pessimistic.
3: I like to think that the little soul(s) who would have been born,had all gone ok, will still show up in my life. Either as my next pregnancy (they just have to wait a little longer for me to build them a nice home) or as grandchildren, family members, etc. What's meant for you won't pass you by.
4: the best way I can honour the pregnancy is to look after myself, look after my loved ones and work towards being the best person I can be. That way if I am blessed with more children they'll be coming into this World with a 'got it together' mummy who is fit, healthy and ready to give them the love they so deserve.

To all the women who have posted, thank you for your stories and advice. To those reading this, I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you can find a way to look forward with hope.

Onwards2014 Thu 20-Nov-14 20:19:18

I just wanted to say how helpful this thread has been. Especially the minor points such as getting decent pads - now is not the time to be thrifty!

Also involving DH. It's his loss too.

I've had loads of support, and a few stupid comments but on the whole I feel ok-ish at the moment.

This thread is helpful at allowing me to feel normal, so thank you x

MissMumbles Tue 18-Nov-14 20:44:03

Hi I just wanted to thank you all for this thread and add in a bit of extra info to this thread, which is so, so useful. the tips on here gave me the confidence to go for expectant management for the miscarriage of my blighted ovum..I thought that at the most it was nine weeks, hard to say as it was an ivf embryo transfer of a three day embryo on August 20th, but I had a cardio version on sept 5 th, about two days after the two week thing I know I still had a positive reading but sadly by sept 30 th it was clearly an anembryonic pregancy with no life signs. I didn't realise that if you go for EM, which is understandable after all the drugs and needles and procedures of ivf, there will be a time gap before the body decides to expel all the Er...stuff...Mine didn't begin until October 25 th!i was working all that time and I felt a bit out of sorts, but with hindsight I would have had the ERPC earlier. This is because my half term was trashed by my is carriage, which was powerful and produced loads of was painful when the spasms happened and only tramadol took the pain away when it spiked at the end of day one...there I was, feeling smug that i had managed it all at home, and I returned to work a week later, did two weeks....the. This last Sunday it started again! I'd learned from these forums that the miscarriage can take longer, but hadn't read that it shouldn't really take more than a week if it's going to work properly doing it naturally. So I knew things were wrong, DH had revved the car to take me to hospital, and I then passed a huge grapefruit sized clot, quite uncontrollably. It sounds gross but I always felt better immediately after a clot passed, but it confirmed that all was not well! I have heart rhythm issues too, so took my betablockers and headed off to A and e. I would urge anyone who feels a bit off colour AFTER they think they have completed their miscarriage to think again and head over to hospital, ideally booked in by a GP, but if you feel I'll out of hours, as I did, get straight there. In my case, I saw that there was a lot of unpassed matter on my TV scan...I had an ERPC op the next day, and they told me afterwards that the gestational sac had NOT passed, the things was still in there and throwing out hormones. I'd thought that my tiredness was heart related, it was more likely these hormones chucked out by the sac. they also said there was loads of other large clots, big ones, that couldn't get through my half open cervix. I'd lost two units of blood, fainted from low blood pressure, shed a massive clot, and was half deleriius in A and E until I got my drip hooked up. Imagine if that had happened a day later at work...But it looked to me that it had completed, and, beating in mind that the sac hadn't passed, I think I was really lucky.Here are my tips:

What I'd do differently next time

1 Maybe start off with expectant management but get a scan in as soon as humanly possible ...that way you will know if all the products are out. With my, they'd shifted down, so the top of my uterus was fine bit I was under a day away from a hideous amount of blood loss which, according to the scan, my body wouldn't have been able to handle, especially with a heart condition like mine. they call it watchful for a reason!
2 warn your boss that it can stop and start mine doesn't really get it. At least with an ERPC you control the time off that you will need a lot more, as long as there are no complications. I feel ok from my ERPC and think there are fewer complications than the possible carnage which could have resulted from doing EM at home and not realising that I hadn't completed.
3 if you can't get your hands on Opiate painkillers such as
Tramadol I would NOT do EM at home. there is Point of muscle spasm which needs hardcore pain relief, in my opinion. Not worth going through this, I feel.
4 If you do it at home, use Tena Lady pass...normal ones just do not cut the mustard. Clean howls also handy. drink lots of pints of water.
5 you could try EM at home to shed the top section of the products, then get a scan, then decide whether to get the rest aspirated in hospital. I didn't hurt after my op because I feel, my body had passed a lot earlier, so it was fifty fifty. Possibly it might have hurt more to get the lit removed at the start, but you have to weigh it up. the easiest way is an ETPC because the actual process is pretty disgusting, even with no foetus, and I ended up needing surgery anyway. I narrowly missed a collapse and severe blood loss in public. ERPC would have prevented this risk...I guess if you can afford to go privately, you'd have total control over the entire process, but my NHS ERPC was done at 12 noon and I was back at home by 5.

Big hugs to all going through this. Listen to your body...if you feel out of sorts, even if there's no cramping, get a scan or to to a and e. I didn't listen enough and have had a lucky escape.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP Thu 13-Nov-14 18:27:16

Thank you for bumping and thank you everyone for your honesty.

bakingtins Thu 13-Nov-14 17:53:32


Chocolateorange12345 Tue 11-Nov-14 05:02:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsdiddlydoo Mon 03-Nov-14 18:12:18

This thread has helped me once already this year. And now it helps again. Thank you. I hope it happens quicker this time. Miscarriage should be spoken of more. Its such a lonely experience. Don't know what I would do without mn.

blondy1 Wed 29-Oct-14 13:02:14

Very helpful thread thanks. Started miscarriage yesterday at 10 weeks. Big shock as still had morning sickness the day before. Was fine leaving the house and within 10 minutes had to pull over due to severe cramps. Was close to a hospital so drove to a and e. Was still hopeful it was a threatened miscarriage but then in a and e felt a big wooshit and blood stared pouring out. Was a low point to be standing half naked in a toilet bleeding all over the floor whilst a nurse washed my legs ( though she was very nice). Was eventually taken to epac and scan confirmed no baby. I was having quite bad cramps so consultant examined me as they though I might need a d and c. He pulled out clots and the baby which was stuck just at the entrance to my cervix and after that pain improved. I'm home today wallowing sad
Told all my friends who have been great.
currently in the angry phase of grief. Angry with the baby for leaving us as we have a happy family and it would have been loved. Also don't know that I can face going through morning sickness again. Love to all of you who have been through this and unfortunately to anyone who has to do this in the future x

fenix1981 Thu 16-Oct-14 18:02:36

HI all - this thread and some others helped me mentally prepare for my first MC however it turned out to be a bit different than expected. I miscarried at 11 weeks, but we found out at 10 weeks that fetus stopped growing at 6 wks 1 day. We also had a weekto grieve and come to terms with our loss - we were excited about the pregnancy, we just got married and were looking forward to starting our family.

We preferred to go the natural route - and wait it out instead of opting for D&C.This was due to some risks associated with D&C but also bc I prefer to avoid gen. anesthesia, and let things take their course naturally. Essentially the body should shed the lining on its own, D&C prematurely severs the sac and placenta - this was thinking anyway.
- By 10 weeks my preg symptoms were subsiding so at least I knew the hormones and my body were realizing I was no longer pregnant.
-1 week after finding out about nonviable pregnancy - so I was at 11 weeks, I started to get discharge, first pink, then brownish.
-On day 2 I had cramps and red gloops coming out, as well as some white and gray tissue. It felt like a painful period, although the cramps were wierd - I felt more pain in my cervix, and it felt uncomfortable to sit in a chair - I am guessing because it was dilating. I thought -ok well if it stays like this, I can definitely do this at home. Also - I had read on a blog prior to this coming on about how some women helped their MC along - I can't scientifically say that it this worked, but I took the following things to help my body eject the matter and in hopes of preventing infection.
1. eating a lot of pineapple ( if you google it, it's also recommended for pregnant women who have a hard time going into labor so are overdue)
2. Primrose oil capsule - I took 1 pill 1,000 mgs for first few days then took 2 a day
3. drinking raspberry leaf tea - both primrose oil and raspberry leaf tea help regulate the menstral cycle. You can read about this if you research those specific things and what they do on google - so I won't go into this here.

-so day 3 of MC, I woke up at 5 am feeling a lot of pain, ran to the bathroom but was surprized to see not much stuff coming out - which was odd. I then broke into sweats - dripping down sweat, and felt nauseous, campy and just horrible. Thought I would pass out in bathroom - not convenient when hubby and parents were esleep. In retro-spect i would recommend leaving bathroom door open, and fan off in case you need help. eventually I managed to get up and wake up husband. I few mins later we decided to make up my parents - my mom is a nurse. by then I was screaming in pain - I may have a lower threshold, I don't know but when something hurts that much you can't help it. They decided to call an ambulance. So this was all crazy and dramatic - the ambulance guys came really quickly, and they started to count my contractions - essentially I was going into labor - at 6 wks! which is crazy. I also then had the chills- so my whole body was shaking.
Got to ER within 10 mins, blood pressure was low and i was bleeding pretty badly by then and contractions were really powerful and close togther. They gave me morphine and an IV which helped the pain and my blood pressure which still got pretty low. They managed to get my GYN on the line - and did a sonogram which by then showed I had passed most of the matter - but it was stuck to lining of my vagina. So by 12 ish the GYN made the call that I didn't need D&C, and he was also of opinion that nature is better at making things happen, but I was right to come in for observation, IV etc. He removed the sac and placenta ( painless) and sent it off for analysis ( non chromosomal since it was first mC). I was able to go home by 3 pm.

1 day later - I have a huge headache ( apparently due to estrogen withrawal - and drinking coffee is recommended, seems to work), and still walk like a penguin - the cervix is still raw, and I am still passing come blood clots but other than that there is not other discharge.

Psychologically I think this was v traumatic - for me and my family but I still am not sure I should have gotten the D&C. I just wish they could admit you as soon as you start MC for observation as a normal procedure - the ambulance/ER visit was kind of traumatic part, and the fact that I had to reach the super high pain threshold to get the pain medication too.

I am writing this not to scare anyone - but to prepare in terms of what you need to have available and what options you have - you'll have to make your own decisions etc., Some women from what I read pass this as a difficult period, for me it turned out to be more than that.

All the doc's, nurses and ambulance guys were amazing btw - i got superior service and good information from them but the choice on D&C still rested with me, they hesitated to make recommendation and since I didn't have excessive bleeding - the only thing they could worry about was my blood pressure - which normalized only closer to when I was released.

So many more days of recovery for me - and my husband - who I am lucky to say was so supportive. Make sure you have at least 1 person - loved one or friend who can support you through this before and after, you shouldn't have to go through this alone. Find help with blogs or support groups.

Things I plan to do to work through this
1. get plenty of rest
2. talk to my close friends
3. think and do other things to replace negative memories with positive ones
4. re-start my yoga practise, and hiking - two physical activities I love and which help my stress levels
5. be profusely thankful to my family for being there for me smile

If you are reading this - you may be trying to learn what to expect - all I can say is, prepare what you can, and try to relax as you are going through it - stress makes everything worse. life is full of ups and downs, and this is a difficult moment in your life but it's a common female experience and you can get through this as many of us do and have. the physical, the emotional are just as important and you need to take care of both sides of yourself. all will turn out ok - but make sure to have what you need to help things along in case of worst case scenario.

hope this was helpful for some people.

CSLewis Thu 09-Oct-14 22:59:21

Bump for Newbie6

Leela5 Wed 01-Oct-14 11:48:29

Thank you for this thread. I'm going through mc just now and found this useful

Flower29 Wed 01-Oct-14 11:37:06

Friendofsadgirl - you sound like a lovely thoughtful friends! having been through this myself I would say just to keep asking how she is and if she'd like to meet up or for you to go round to hers. It is a week and a half from my mmc and some days I just want to stay at home and mope and not see anyone but my friend is coming to see me in a bit so looking forward to that. Your friend may be very up and down. Don't be afraid to ask her about it and make her know she can talk to you about everything. I've found that some people don't want to talk about it in case it upsets me but it's a horrible feeling thinking nobody wants to know. Sure you're doing a great job anyway!
Lobster -sorry you're having to go through this! I had medical management and was very scared but also read up on it and spoke to people so felt quite prepared (as I could be). Hope it happens as quickly and painlessly as possible for you. Just take your time after it has happened. I was quite crampy and sensitive when on a my feet for a while after, so put your feet up. Also it may take time for the emotional aspect to sink in so please be kind to yourself and don't feel pressured into getting back to 'normal', do what you feels right. Thinking of you, you're not alone.

LobsterMagnet Wed 01-Oct-14 08:21:48

Thank you to everyone who has posted here and given their experience and tips. It makes me feel better prepared - much more useful than information given by the hospital. I was told at my first scan a couple of days ago that I had a mmc and now I have to wait for my body to go through the mc. I'm scared but at least I can expect what's going to happen & prepare for it the best I can!

friendofsadgirl Mon 22-Sep-14 20:38:34

Is there any advice you can offer for me to support a friend who just found out today that she mmc at 8 weeks (3 weeks ago). She had slight bleeding over weekend but couldn't get a scan until this morning.
She's my friend and colleague and I really want to say/do the right thing. It was her 1st pregnancy and was after ivf treatment. She will find out tomorrow when she has to go back to hospital for surgical procedure.

Tranquilitybaby Wed 17-Sep-14 17:38:54

Bleeding's not as bad as it was last night and pain fine of unless I do too much xx

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