Mumsnet Talk

Thank god i had read this thread before i miscarried. like loads of others on this thread, i felt that i didnt get a huge amount of information from the hospital/doctors etc - this was my first pregnancy and i had no knowledge or experience regarding how painful, bloody and traumatic it could be. i got all my info from this site mainly! i think that doctors should provide more information about these realities - it helps to know what to potentially expect, although i know everyone has different experiences - heres mine...
- 12 week scan shows blighted ovum. i was booked for a second scan a week later but wasnt given much information. sadly i had to go online to educate myself.
- 5 days after scan i start bleeding although its very light and manageable.
- 2 days later i go for a second scan. docs confirm that sac is empty and then go over all my options (a week later than they should of in my opinion) i opt for an ERPC. this day is thursday and the earliest i can get booked in is the following tuesday (i found this upsetting as i didnt want the trauma of going through it naturally).
- 2 days later - my worse case senario happened - it was saturday evening and the pain and bleeding start to increase. i started to pass large clots. after about 2-3 hours the pain started getting intolerable. the bleeding and clots were also starting to get unmanageable - i was changing pads every 10-15 mins so my partner took me to the hospital. we phoned the ward first in advance who told me to come straight in ( it was about 2am at this stage) i was also cold and clammy and almost passing out at this point. when i arrived at the hospital the pain increased even more - felt like it was cutting me in half. the doctor at this point did an internal exam where he removed a large amount of material from my cervix - this eased the pain almost immediately.
- i was kept in hospital for the next 12 hours for observation and given another scan that morning which showed a majority of the material had been passed - was still bleeding fairly heavy-ish at this point.
- i had 2 smaller clots a day or so after i was discharged and have since been bleeding on and off.
- this was 2 weeks ago. i went back to work yesterday and feel ok now physically except for the odd cramp pain here and there. emotionally it may take me longer. i have had a couple of teary moments the last few days - mainly when people who knew about my pregnancy see me for the first time and dont know what to say. that awkwardness or consoling hugs seem to trigger the emotions for me.
Sorry if this seemed a bit rambling... in a way it has been sort of helpful for me to write it down. i hope also that my rambling words can be of help to other women going through this - i know that other peoples posts helped me anyway.
it is a shitty situation for anyone to go through - my thoughts are with everyone else who finds themselves in this position. xxx

p.s - maybe i need to change my username - possibily "gonnabeamumsomeday"

This thread has been helpful to me over the past couple of weeks. Just adding and bumping now mine is all over.

MMC was discovered two weeks ago and the baby had died a week ago before that at about nine weeks. I had had bleeding until yesterday afternoon but never very heavy. I was told there's no way to bring on a natural miscarriage but I read that exercise sometimes does- that might be the case for me as I went cycling yesterday afternoon.

I had cramps at bedtime like the ones that had come and gone before, but woke in the night with more severe ones. They increased intensity quickly and it was really very painful for about two hours. I was shocked at the pain. Paracetamol didn't touch it. I was getting ready to go to A&E because I couldn't handle it.

Moving around getting dressed I felt a pop and then clear water came out. It was the sac bursting and I got instant relief from the pain and the sac came out. I think the serious pain was the sac trying to pass my cervix. It was about as big as a fist although flat as the water had gone and I could see the tiny baby inside. I was not organised with a sieve but I am not at all squeamish so I just fished it out of the loo.

A few minutes later I passed some chopped liver placenta type bits. None of this was painful at all. There was blood but not lots and lots. This morning I feel fine, just tired and DH is taking care of me.

I am glad I got through it at home which is what I wanted. I have wrapped up the baby to bury somewhere special. If I had to start over I would get stronger painkillers in- I'm not bad with pain but this was really very hard to cope with. And from my own experience I would try exercise again if I wanted to hasten things along.

Sorry to anyone who is looking at this thread going through miscarriage. And thankyou to everyone who has already posted, it's very helpful and noone tells you this stuff.

Thanks for sharing your experiences everyone. I believe I'm in the early stages of mc and was expecting something like a really heavy period. I now feel well informed of what it's going to be like, which sounds truly awful, but I least it won't come as too much of a shock. When I started spotting a few days so I felt pretty stoic about it all but now the bleeding is heavier I don't feel quite so brave.

Just wanted to add something on my experience. I have had two mc. One mmc last year which I had medical management for but went home after the pessary and a natural mc last week. I know lots of ladies have had horrendous experiences with bleeding and pain but its not always like that. Following the mmc last year I had horrific pain for about 3 hours but the codeine the hospital gave me sorted it out. The bleeding lasted for about 2 weeks & at its heaviest I was probably changing my pad every two hours. This time round it has been much easier physically, just like a heavy period & I've stopped bleeding after 7 days. I started bleeding on Friday & my scan on Monday showed I was almost back to normal already. You can self refer at the EPU at my local hospital so I would always ring them first before the GP to see what they can do for you. It's an awful thing to go through & don't underestimate how much it will knock you out both physically & mentally. I had 5 days off work last time & 4 this time which was enough for me but take as much as you need.

Bump. This needs to be on the front page.

(((Hugs))) to you aswell Christine xx

Sorry to hear that pumpkin, completely sucks that we have needed this thread but so grateful it was here. unmumsnetty ((hugs)) for you.

This thread ought to be stickied at the top of the board.

This thread has really helped me today and will continue to help me.
Got 3 positive pregnancy tests last week and was starting to come to terms with my contraceptive pill failing me. By saturday was getting little waves of excitment about becoming a mum again. Then by saturday afternoon i had spotting, which continued on & off scantily until today when to my disbelief i had a proper bleed. I ended up telling my close friend of my pregnancy & she then got me some advice from the hospital.

I was very anxious, but they said there isn't any point of me coming in as a scan this early on wouldn't show. I was told it was probably implantation bleeding or it could me a mc. I'm to take another poas Tue and if still positive, come in for a scan.
If i'm completely honest i know i'm having a mc, i'm bleeding heavily now and soaking pads
I guess my baby wasn't meant to be, going to take time to rest.
Told my mum aswell who has bought me some thicker sanitary towels round. Have had a bath & i'm now resting.

Sorry to all of you who are going through this.
This thread is invaluable x

This thread has been a god send, just the first couple of pages got me through yesterday. One I would add, if it's not already on here, do not look at what passes. I thought it would be better to know if it was over, now I realise that was an absolutely stupid idea

Escorpion, so nice to hear you are ok. I agree the worst part before it happens is not knowing what's going on. I was worried I had an ectopic pregnancy at one point and every twinge I felt made me worry. I also agree that it's good to have closure. MC is very upsetting but also seems to be a very unspoken subject. Love and hugs to everyone who has been through it, or going through it now xx

supersare i didn´t read it like that, I knew what you meant. I am in Chile, so not sure if the procedure is different but was advised to have the d&c, in hindsight I think I would do it again, just because it has given me closure quickly and I am not worried or anxious as to what is going to happen next. They gave me some pessaries in the morning and I had to wait for several hours until I started contracting, luckily I didn´t have too bad cramps, then I was taken into surgery where they gave me a sedative and then antibiotics which stung like a bitch, then the anaesthetic, the next thing I knew I woke up. I think the worst part of all this experience was the waiting, and not knowing. They are going to look at the biopsy of the remains to see if I get any answers, I am hoping it is my hashimotos and hypothryoidism because if this is the case I can get my TSH at a good level for when we try again. (Hashimotos and Hypothyroidism were discovered during my blood tests). Thank you ladies for all your best wishes. It really was a bad experience overall and heartbreaking but like I said I am glad I have some sort of closure now. Love to you all and I am so glad I found this page for the support.

Just noticed my last post never posted so wanted to say thanks mamab.. They call mat leave holidays in my current place!! So I emailed two of my bosses at lunchtime to tell them I couldn't join them on a conference call this afternoon as I had been to gp and he had sent me in to hospital for tests. Random and generic but they won't ask Any questions and it means when i go for my appt next week I can just say oh it's a follow up.

Bloody hell I might just tell them the truth to take the stress out of the situation but that is professional suicide in there
I am sole earner in our little family here so bit of pressure to keep going...

Thinking of you Escorpion

Try to be kind to yourself. Chocolate, DVDs, book you've been meaning you read all helped me.

Omri i really feel for you. There are some careers where even a hint of a pregnancy will discount you from being respected and valued. They called ML holidays the last place I worked! Discuss with GP they may have a vague phrase that you can have on your sick line.

Big hugs to all x

Escorpion I sympathise with you completely. Holding your hand today. Let us know how you're doing...

Don't think my last post went through. Was just explaining that yes it's a cut throat and chauvinistic workplace and will get nothing in my review if they get a sniff that I'm pregnant or want to be... And when you're off sick you're expected to work from home! I just feel numb and don't want to open the laptop

Just read my post and realised what I wrote re it being horrible...sorry Escorpion if I could change my posting I would but I don't know how to. I meant horrible as in the thing that's happening, as in losing your baby. It wasn't painful and they give you painkillers so please don't worry xxx

Good luck today Escorpion. Thinking of you. X

Omri, it is a tricky question on whether to tell work or not. My manager already knows what's happened, it's just the rest of my office I'm dreading seeing as it's quite a friendly place and people look out for each other there and I know people will be curious as to why I've been off work for a week. Anyway, I'm hoping to go back into work tomorrow and even though my boss knows why I've been off my colleagues are going to ask if I'm ok. Just wondered how others have dealt with the question in general, when seeing friends/family/colleagues who you hadn't told that you were pregnant...have you told them what happened or not?
You're in my thoughts Escorpion...bless you so much, sending you many hugs and hope you have someone to hold you hand through today. It is horrible, there's no other way to describe it. I know we moan about the NHS but nurses in general are caring and understanding and the doctors are very professional so I'm sure you'll be well looked after.
xxxxx

Thank you for sharing your experiences. So sorry for such loss for everyone.

My experience was tiny bleeding one evening at 7wks. Positive scan at EPU next day. Booked for next scan in a week. Bleeding continued. Pain and cramps on and off. Reassured by MW that some people do bleed all the way through pregnancy and have healthy babies.

Couldn't take any painkillers as they kept reassuring me. Only found out I had definitely MC when we went for our first MW booking amd I begged them to scan me at the ultrasound clinic amongst all of the evidently pregnant people. I was relieved to know but grateful that they scanned me so that I didn't have to wait for postponed EPU scan.

Now a couple of weeks on I have cramping sensations and feel pretty bad. Can you tell me when you had your first period afterwards?

Only DH and DM know. 5 of my friends and family have had babies during the last few weeks. Don't really want to ask their advice.

Big hugs to you x

Are you on a career ladder where being pg will affect your progress? If not, tell them the truth is my advice. You are bound to be emotional for a while, someone needs to be able to understand.
Have you read the rest of this thread? Theres a lot of useful information and experiences on here. Mine is take things day by day. Some days youll want people, some you wont. Be kind to yourself.
I think the main generic advice is painkillers and a hot water bottle.
Thinking of you. xx

Hello lovely ladies. Went for an early scan today - I'm 9weeks- and they suspect mmc. I'll have another scan to confirm next week but the nurse said its a formality and she would be v pessimistic. She told me to expect a bleed in the next week. I haven't really taken it all in... Don't know what to expect. One tip I am looking for... What do I tell work?? All i know is I don't want to go in this week!!! I had just started to get excited about my little baby... It'll be a big deal for me to be out of work so I have to come up with a decent excuse (I don't want to tell them).

Do you think it sounds ok to tell them I will be having an unexpected operation and will be out of action for a week or so? They won't ask questions. Anyone have a better idea??
All tips appreciated.
Finally, sorry for all our little losses ��

I have surgery booked for tomorrow. I am so nervous. I have stopped taking the progesterone that I was given for the spotting and now some blood clotting is coming out but only now and then. I also have a sore lower back. I am absolutely petrified about what is going to happen between now and tomorrow, I didn´t sleep a wink last night, have no appetite at all. I was in bits yesterday, it is all very stressful and I just want this nightmare to be over.

Hugs to you ladies.
I'm doing okay. The crying has calmed down now, I'm just left with a permanent sense of sadness. It did reach a peak a week or so ago, when I stupidly got drunk and became hysterical, but I'd actually say that that helped a bit, I had a real purge.
I'm pretty much back in the swing of things now. My main problem is that everytime I see or hear of a baby, or a person being pregnant, I get this wrench in my gut, but I suppose that will fade. I hope you guys are doing okay, and that you feel less sad soon. X

Hugs back to you escorpion.
My heart goes out to you so much, I wish I could tell you what to expect in terms of treatment but I don't know as I miscarried naturally without them having to do anything (other than the doctor taking a look inside me, which wasn't as uncomfortable as a smear test).
Because it all seemed to happen quickly, I think I went into autopilot to be honest. It wasn't until afterwards when the doctor went through the formalities and form filling and told me the 'tissue' they found would be cremated that I got really upset. So be prepared for that my love.
Bless you so much, it's a truly horrific thing to go through. I hope you've got friends/family to help you through it all. xxxx