Recurrent Miscarriage Clinics

[hana]

Wondering if anyone has had experience of such a clinic? Have just had another m/c. Lots of questions. Have only hd 2 m/cs, my third loss was a termination as the fetus wasn't 'developing' , had too much fluid around heart and back etc etc
Am asking GP to refer us to the clinic (at St Mary's? in London) Do your m/cs have to be in a row? Will they take a self-referral? Can you go privately? Is there a long waiting list? I have ordered Lesley's Regan book as well after seeing a few reviews here. Looking forward to reading it.
Oh, I really want some answers about what is happening to me. Us I mean.
hana
x

[bunny2]

You poor love. I think the miscarriages have to be in a row with no normal pg in between for them to be considered "recurrent miscarriage" but I still think you should be entitled to some investigations. We were under a consultant anyway for infertility but I want a referal to St Marys too. Leslie Regan really knows what she is talking about and I have confidence that if anyone can get me another baby it is her. I have had 2 m/c but will be trying for a referal myself, hope she does private clinics as my MIL has offered to pay. As far as self-referral goes, dont think you can but I may be wrong. God, it's all such a load of crap we have to deal with isnt it? I am still really bitter about my m/c (2weeks ago). Take care. Bx

[bunny2]

Hana, I have just rung St Marys. You do need a referral from your gp or hospital (I've a feeling mine will be pleased to pass me off to another hopspital and see the back of me). Private bookings are now being made for middle of Jan. Might see you there!

[hana]

thanks bunny. I am seeing my GP tomorrow and see what the situation is. Will be really p*ed off it it has to be three in a row. But I think we'll go privately if not. The Dr that saw me after my scan last week breezed into the examination room (she wasn't the one scanning, just there for the 'chat' ) and said to our dd, 'Oh, is this big sister?' which set me off again. Really insensitive considering most women who go to an EPU are there because of problems. So I'm not too impressed with the NHS at the moment.
Have you made a booking for yourself? At least it is January, which doesn't seem too far away, and yes, you probably will see me there!
hana
x

[quackers]

So sorry Hana to hear your bad news. It's defo 3 in a row though. have u read the lesley Reagan book? If you go private do you still need the referral? I'm going to hold off. I am hoping I won't have a third and want to try again first. It's a lot of testing and heartache and I only want to do that if I'm convinced that my losses are all due to one reson. I still hold out for success this time and if not, I'll be asking for my referral then.Hana I had some initial blood tests for hormones after2, maybe ask your Doc for these??

[hana]

quackers, the GP I saw today seemed to think the referral would go through, though when I reminded her that we had a two year old she wasnt so sure. We will go privately if not. After 3 losses I really need some answers. I don't want to go through all this pain again if there is a reason or cause that can be at least looked at. Though Dr did say my chances at having a sussessful pregnancy are still 60 - 70 %. Not great but not awful I suppose.
I have ordered that book from Amazon, should be here tomorrow. I'm trying to read everything I can, almost obsessed about it right now. A friend loaned me another book called 'Taking Charge of your Fertility', by Toni Weschler, an American. I need a few months I think to just to be selfish and look after myself right now.
I have read lots of your posts over the past few months and am impressed at how positive you are with others , you always send out such posivite vibes despite your own heartaches at losing your babies. I need some of what you've got!
hana
x

[quackers]

Hana, I'm glad you have such an understanding GP. I do hope you get your referral. Am I right in saying you've had 3 now?? Sorry for my misunderstanding. I'm glad you're getting the book, it is very informative and goes into a lot of detail. It also says what to expect if you go to the clinic. They will do the blood tests in advance so there's no waiting for results when you do go, they can then get on with the other investigations. Even if they find no reason, lesley reckons the majority will have success. Have you looked at the website?? That too is very good and shows you what will happen and who's who. I will not referred until 3 and I've accepted that. It took a while cos I was very bitter and angry at first but the book made me think that it was bad luck. Of course if I have another then my Doc has promised a referral. It's a long way to go too. I live on an Island but I bleieve the Gov pay. I don't care though. For now full steam ahead trying again. There are several of us at the moment with 2 losses or more and it is such a help to know that you;re all there. I've felt a bit of a let down to myself lately and of course would never wish this on anyone, but when it's just you it's happening to at the time you think there must be something very wrong. I'm comforted knowing that people do get results and one day we will all get our babies and see a heartbeat on a scan that never goes. Thankyou for your kind words Hana. I always feel a bit of a duffer to be honest. Type without thinking and it doesn't always come out how I mean it to. Anyway. I'm sure you'll be reading that book, cover to cover when you get it. I did and do refer to it now and again. Take care for now and fingers crossed for success xxxxx

[bunny2]

Hellooo, I see my gp tomorrow. You def need a referral even if you can go private. We will probably have to pay as I have only had 2 m/c, cant wait for another one before getting some help. Having read Prof Regan's book,I am fairly convinced my body is attacking the foetus or failing to provide a sufficent placenta. The book clearly states that a foetus dying after 8 wks is unlikely to be due to chromosones so something else is happening to attack the pregnancy. Consequently, the chances of it happening again are very high so I wont even try tp get pg until I have had some tests. Untl then it's diet time . Hatedieting but should really lose a stone.

[quackers]

Hiya!! I'll stay on for a bit - u still there??

[quackers]

Bunny, I've just started to lose weight. I feel fab. I'm doing weightwatchers and have lost 4.5 pounds in 3 weeks. I still drink, couldn't live without it at the moment but the weight is steadily coming off and I'm fitting back into old clothes. Do it, you'll feel good. I have to. I weighed the same as what I did when I gave birth to my first!!! How bad is that!!! Anyway, I do hope you get a referral if that is what you want. I felt very strongly about it as you do. I would want to know why the 2 happened at the same time and would probably do like you;re doing and push for the early referral.

[quackers]

Bunny, I've just started to lose weight. I feel fab. I'm doing weightwatchers and have lost 4.5 pounds in 3 weeks. I still drink, couldn't live without it at the moment but the weight is steadily coming off and I'm fitting back into old clothes. Do it, you'll feel good. I have to. I weighed the same as what I did when I gave birth to my first!!! How bad is that!!! Anyway, I do hope you get a referral if that is what you want. I felt very strongly about it as you do. I would want to know why the 2 happened at the same time and would probably do like you;re doing and push for the early referral.

[bunny2]

Quacks, I had a dream last night that I joined WW, must be a sign. One of my best mates came to stay and she has lost loads on Slimming World (2 stone!!!). I am very inspired and hope that losing a bit will help me conceive. I am a stone heavier than I was before ds so must work at getting it off.

I saw my lovely gp this morning but he was reluctant to refer me to St MArys as lots of the initial testing can be done locally and he doesnt want us to make endless trips to London and pay for private treatment when I can get it all done here. Bless. So, he has referred me to the fertility clinic and is pushing for investigative treatment to be done now rather than waiting for the required 3rd miscarriage. He seemed pretty well clued up on things and mentioned lupus amongst other possible reasons for my mcs. So, fingers crossed I may get some answers.

[quackers]

Oh good luck Bunny, thanks God there are some good GPs out there, he;s right though alot of the initial stuff can be done locally. Lots of luck to you.xxxxxxx

[hewlettsdaughter]

Bunny, that's good news about the referral. Thinking of you too, hana.

[bunny2]

Hi HD, I'll let you have the book back after my chat with the fertility doc if that's ok, do let me know if you want it sooner. I am going to use it to write a list of questions.

quacks, forgot to say "Well done" to the weight loss. I put on weight when I joined Slimming World so am def going to try WW, as long as a few drinks are allowed!

[hewlettsdaughter]

Keep the book for as long as you need it, bunny.

[quackers]

Bunny, that's pretty much all I have! Only joking. I need a couple of bottles at the weekend and do have a couple of drinks in the week. I just adjust my eating or have stuff that I know will fill me but are nice. Make my own curry's etcc and have loads of poppadoms with toms, onion and coriander. Love it. Lost another pound this week AND went away for weekend, so I'm chuffed! Thinking of you. How are you Hana???

[mckenzie]

a few of you have mentioned a book by Prof Leslie Regan/Reagan on this thread. Can you tell me the title please?

[hana]

Hey guys, thanks for asking. I'm up and down really. Back to the EPU this morning to have the m/c confirmed, well, not confirmed but to make sure it was 'complete', which it was. Now waiting a cycle ( hopefully not too long a wait) and then we're going to try again. It's not the getting pregnant that has been difficult, so that's one positive thing. I went to a Halloween Party with dd this afternoon and a few of the women there knew I had lost it, one woman didn't and asked how I was......and caught me at a bad moment, and I burst into floods of tears. Unlike me in a croweded place. She has had 2 m/c in a row as well so a good women to talk to. It does come and go. Got back from the EPU and had a message on the phone from FIL to let us know one of dh's nephew's wife has had a baby girl. I got upset and started crying dh's reaction was 'well you don't even know them, it shouldn't bother you'. grrrr. Maybe I'm at the angry and shouting stage 'cause I did a bit of that to my husband! Am planning a me day on Sunday, going to a spa for the works. Really looking forward to it.
The book by Lesley Regan is called Miscarriage, What Every Woman Need to Know. Have only really just skimmed it, but need to sit down and read it properly.
And about the referral, I'm almost thinking that maybe it's jumping the gun a bit? I don't know. Did you get your appt through yet Bunny?
Hana
x

[quackers]

Hi Han, I was just like that. In fact I see pg women and hate them - awful isn't it! But you can't help it. You feel cheated out of not just one but two babies and can see no reason. I'm still bitter but like you have had no probslems conceiving so far, although my cyc;les have been a bit scew wiff this time. I'm getting ov signs today so will betrying for the first time tommorow! Wish me luck. Poor dh is supposed to be studying but I've got better plans.
I also felt, for me I didn't want the referral just yet. I am hoping it;s pure coincidence and they did occur at diff stages. I want to try again by myself first and then go if I have to. Hana, I beleive Bunny has been referred to her local fertility clinic, so that should start the process for her. I hope she gets her appt soon! LOLxxxx

[hana]

oh but i bet it will be a fun reward for studying all night!!
good luck!
hana

[bunny2]

Quacks, good luck with dh, that'll be a few more calories used up!! I am glad I am not the only one to swap food for alcohol wneh dieting . I much prefer veg soup and a few glasses of wine to a big meal with mineral water.

Hana, you may well be right about jumping the gun. In my case I think there are very strong indicators that I will mc again so a referral is important for me (also have problems conceiving, doubly crap).Enjoy your spa day, you deserve it.

[quackers]

Oh a girl after my own heart bunny! I do the soup thing with lashing of alcohol to supplement. (Not when pg of course though!) Didn't get to BD, he was really late in bed. Doesn't matter, cos I don't think I'll get a LH surge till tommorow. So weekend has timed itself well! Yes Bunny I thnk you are wise to at least try for an initial investigation as the 2 were at similar times. It may be coincidence but you just don't know do you. Hana, have a wonderful time at your spa day!! It's lovely to have so many here to chat to. You're all lovely!!!

[hana]

The referral to St Mary's hasn't been accepted. Don't know why - just had a letter from my GP saying that it didn't, and to call her on Monday about it. She said she can refer me to my local hospital. Am gutted, was beginning to think that that would have been a great place to start again.
boo hoo
and just found out that another friend is expecting, in May - a month before ours would have been. Doubly gutted. I know it's not her baby I want, but even so....still hurts.
hana

[gingernut]

Oh hana, I'm really sorry. So understand how you feel about hearing about friends expecting, especially around the time you were. . Re the referral being refused, it sounds as though your GP is very supportive and I hope (s)he can get you seen somewhere else. Thinking of you.

[quackers]

Hana, I'm so sorry it was refused. Pls correct me but was it because it wasn't 3 consecutive m.c's?? I know you;ve had 3 losses but I believe they won't accept usually unless 3 in a row. V harsh but I suppose they make these daft rules for a reason. In a way I suppose theyre saying, well there are people who really do need help. I would possibly take comfort from that a little and go with the local refferral for now at least. They will do the maj of checks St mary'd do. Like HSG, hormones, sperm etc... My Doc was also going to try St thomas', they have a rec m/c clinic, does your GP know about this? Also there is one is Liverpool at the Womens hospital I beleive. Maybe run that by your Doc. Thinkin of you and hope you get some referral in some form soon!! LOLxxxxx Lots of luck and love. Tough when all u want is answers. Take carexx