So its happening again, yesterday even this morning I was cautiously optomistic, the last couple of days feeling very sick and unable to even cope with the smell of food and I stupidly thought eh girl, youve cracked it this time`. How bloody bloody stupid am I.
Third mc. I just cannot cope with it, Its my 41st birthday on Thursday, I know my husband is planning a special day, my daughters GCSE results on that day aswell and you know, I just want to get away from the lot of them, which is making me cry even more.
You know life has deals some people shit cards, lost my parents when I was young, bought up my daughter on my own really struggling to make do whilst suffering severe depression after my parents deaths. Never, ever let my daughter know, always having a smile on my face, making food from non-existent food cupboards, scraping to buy birthday/christmas presents and buying clothes. Mosts nights after she was in bed just sat there crying unable to cope -but you do, dont you - you have to.
So didnt meet my husband until my late thirties and I stupidly thought that was my bad luck over with. FFS its so bloody unfair, dont even see the point in going to the doctors, as of my age.
Sorry being really childish, dont have anyone in real life to talk to, but just had enough, Im tired of going through this again its just so bloody heartbreaking. I cant do it again, whats the point. That just makes me cry even more.
Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
I can`t do this anymore
boohoohoo · 23/08/2011 14:43
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Sorry Boohoohoo - didn't want to kill the thread 
just let you know that it does get better, even if you do stop trying.
Thanks everyone for replying, just felt so blood angry, upset oh well you name it I felt it this morning, just needed to write everything down as found myself shouting at my mum (think might have frightened the family if they had heard) that this was all her fault and I bloody hated her as she crapped my life up by suddenly dying when I was so young (why I dont blame my dad I dont know). It just seems so unfair.
mistlethrush, dont worry, actually what you said, I dunno, truth etc... helps. I am lucky I know that deep down, just sometimes feels all bad stuff happpens to me (which is rubbish and melodramatic i know).
Just to heighten my misery still feel sick as dog, my neighbours were cooking earlier and I went outside caught one sniff and threw up everywhere and cant face anything apart from water, its like some sort of mc sick joke, keep pg symptons for a while longer 
.
Yes, its just an extra kick in the teeth that... Been there, done that. Miserable. And you get so pleased when you get a +ve - but then still getting a +ve weeks after you know that you're not. 
Hi Lig, thanks made me 
but for you, as i said to you yesterday, the sickness gave me hope, still feel so crap now, and the bloody bleeding has stopped, but will def not get any hopes up and will presume it will all start again later.
Dh is off now for over a week so thats good, i think, ha ha.
Think this might be the end for me though, too much to keep going through, will have a chat with DH later in the week.
let me know how you get on, its not over for you yet, think those internet sticks are a bit crap.
mistle, am going to try really hard not to keep testing next week cos feel its just torture, Ive read so many woman asking on forums if they think there is any possibility of them still being pregnant or carrying twins and losing one, yes, ive been there as well, too cruel
boohoo - I had my first MC just before I had seen my as-yet-unmet GP. When I went in to meet him a couple of weeks later, so that they knew where to file all the letters they'd been sent from the hospital, he took a brief medical history for the records and then said - "so do you have any children?" I said yes, a son who is 2. He said "Well, since you already have one child, you probably want to rethink your decision to try for any more, you're already 42, there's not much point, is there?" or words to that effect. Why I didn't lamp him, I don't know - I was too 
and the didn't come until I'd left his office.
I don't ever see the bastard now, even if he's the only GP available.
Thumbwitch for you, that's what I'm afraid of! However, after talking to my husband last night (it's really difficult for our partners, he can't bear to see me like this and feels useless) I've decided to go to the doctors today. I just know in my heart I'm meant to have one last baby, but even I realise that I can't keep going through these mcs, each one breaks my heart even more. I think if I don't I'll spend the rest of my life wondering.
If the gps eyebrow even tries to rise up even one millimetre, I'm ready, today I feel like some poor sod going to get it from me!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.