climb aboard this bus called i was on "dec 11, jan 12, feb 12" etc- hear me now!!

(402 Posts)
Mama5isalive Mon 18-Jul-11 23:43:16

I thought i would just start this thread for all of us who have sadly lost our seats on our previous buses, but still want to talk and share and move on in all different areas!

Please swipe your cards, pay your fare and share!!!!!!!!wink
all are welcome to the journey ending in "moving on street", "TTC avenue" or "let just wait and see walk "or ", "Its finally happened for me junction"

rosalina72 Tue 19-Jul-11 11:09:02

Hi Mama. I lost a seat (well, was lurking on the thread but never joined) on the feb bus. Had a mmc at 9 weeks last week. I'm extremely depressed at the moment. It's my second miscarriage and just getting up in the morning is an effort. I thought I was dealing ok but it's really hit me like a ton of bricks this week. Maybe all the pregnancy hormones leaving my body??
So sorry you're going through this too. It's really horrible sad

puzzletree Tue 19-Jul-11 12:08:48

I'll join your bus Mama5.
Fell off the feb bus too rosalina72, also miscarried at 9 weeks, at the beginning of July. It really is an awful experience both physically and emotionally. Hope you get through it ok, I found the first week really tough but it's definitely getting easier now, I'm still trying to stay distracted though, if I just stop and think I feel sad again sad.
Not sure what we're doing about TTC. We were going to wait until I'd had a period, but maybe we'll just see what happens. I got some ovulation tests so will have a go with those, haven't used them before but it'd be interesting to have an idea of what my body is doing. Negative today.
Took DS2 for a nursery visit today, he's starting in september, and DS1 is starting school, eek! Was looking forward to having time to relax and just be pregnant. Ah well, perhaps if we get cracking I will be....
Good luck everyone else with recovering from your miscarriages and moving on to the next steps...

Catsycat Tue 19-Jul-11 12:47:53

Hi, nice to see you all here! Can I have a seat, please? I would have been on the January bus, but had ERPC on 29th June.

I will be TTC with a vengeance once AF is back (for dating purposes). Pretty sure I was ovulating last week actually, and tried the tests, but never got a positive. I did go from having no line, to having a definite line, but fainter than the control, which was still a negative according to the instructions!!! I tried the sticks when ttc DD2, but again, never got a positive. I got really worried, then found was pg that month! I couldn't do anything about it if I was ovulating last week anyway, as I was on antibiotics, and have to wait a week after taking them to ttc. Really stressing about whether I will have another mc, but I guess there's nothing I can do about that!!!

Rosalina, so sorry you're feeling bad again. For me, the relief of having had the ERPC, after all the waiting, made me feel OK for a few days, then it kind of hit me again later. Hormones, stress, blood loss - they are all things that can make people feel awful. I did feel up and down a bit at first, but over time, there was a gradual upward curve in my mood, albeit with the odd wobble. I hope that will happen for you too. Hang in there, we're all here to listen if you want to talk. xx

lemontop Tue 19-Jul-11 15:35:41

I'll join your bus if there's room mama!

I was actually on the very new March thread but I started to have a miscarriage on Friday night. It's all still a bit difficult to take in as had really strong pregnancy symptoms right up to Friday afternoon. Seems crazy that I could be very pregnant one minute and then it all be over so soon afterwards. I was 'lucky' in that it is a very early miscarriage at 5.5 weeks but still feel so sad. We had been trying for a baby for 5 months and were so happy when we found out. Fortunately I've got a 21month old DS who is doing a good job of cheering me up. Everyone keeps trying to take him off my hands but that would actually make me more miserable! Just willing it to be over asap really.

I have no idea yet about when we are going to start TTC. Part of me thinks it would be good to just get on with it (who says romance is dead?!), but another part of me is so scared that it might happen again. I guess I need a bit more time to think and get my head round it as it's still early days. My head feels foggy.

rosalina72 sorry you're feeling so bad. Hopefully offloading here will make us all feel a bit better.

Mama5isalive Tue 19-Jul-11 23:07:18

hi all and welcome aboard this bus although we are here without our lil beans
and we are still so very shocked, sad, upset and mourning our losses, i do hope that us all hanging out taking this ride will help us to move on to the other stops and maybe real soon be on another thread enjoying our rides once more!
im sorry but im also a neat freak and so would like to do a list so we can all get to know each other better( if we have'nt meet already on another thread)

buckle up and lets go -

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ddx2 march bus mc 5.5 weeks.

if i have made any errors please copy,paste and correct. thank you

Catsycat Wed 20-Jul-11 12:55:15

Hi mama5, thanks for doing the list. Have added my two DDs:

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ddx2 march bus mc 5.5 weeks

Feeling good today, so wanted to share! Cleaned all the upstairs rooms yesterday, and they are now lovely, neat and shiny! All my paperwork is tidy. The washing and half the enormous ironing pile (sigh!) are finished. DD1's behaviour and attention span were praised by someone who saw her at the library on saturday - she was kind enough to specially talk to me about it today even though I had never met her before (and she used to be a teacher, so that was really lovely). Had a nice time at our baby group with people who are kind and caring (and willing to acknowledge my mc).

It is a month today that I found out I would lose my baby - I wanted to record how far I have come. I'm not being self-satisfied about it (and I might be back on here tomorrow whinging!!!), it's just that I never thought I'd be able to cope again when it first happened. I think the good days should be celebrated!

I hope everyone else is having a good day. xx

lemontop Wed 20-Jul-11 13:22:32

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ds21mts;Mar bus-mc 5.5 weeks

Just changing my stats. I only have the one DS.

catsycat good to hear you are having a good day and you are coping much more. Gives me hope that I may feel better soon. Half my mum mates are pregnant so am avoiding baby groups this week but will try and catch up with them next week.

I have a vague plan to redecorate my bathroom. I thought it might help take my mind off things if I keep busy. I'm a teacher on 6 weeks hols at the moment, which is good because I haven't had to explain anything to people at work, but means I have lots of free time on my hands. Shame I am not the most creative of people.

Catsycat Wed 20-Jul-11 20:23:55

Hi Lemontop. I don't blame you for avoiding the baby groups. We have a very new baby and two pg mums at ours, so I avoided for two weeks, went back last week, and still cried (though everyone understood and was really nice) - felt a bit daft!!!

Mama5isalive Wed 20-Jul-11 20:49:59

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ds21mts;Mar bus-mc 5.5 weeks

well done on the clean up CC- you can come do my home if you like!
LT- try find some lovely way to spend quality time with your family you deserve it!

well i wanted to get away from it all -it is also "1 month today" we found out our baby had passed away. so we decided to go new furniture shopping well looking in ikea and DFS - but so was all the very pregnant women and i felt sick!!!!!!!! Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
i couldnt wait to get out needed some bits in mothercares but walked straight pass it cant face it now!!!!!!!!!!
well i have 8 weeks off work so plenty time to spend with the DC!!!!!!!
good news is im moving home and i cant wait i know this is the fresh start we as a family need! oohhhhhhhhhhhhh cant wait.
cramping feelings all day feels like my AF will be on its way! this was the time roughly before my pregnancy so waiting to see!

Catsycat Wed 20-Jul-11 22:09:03

Hi mama5. Are you in Croydon? I think you mentioned Mayday in another thread. We used to live in Waddon until we moved here 4 years ago - very handy for Ikea! Sorry all the pg women showed up today... v. hard. I have Pixifoto photos to pick up from Mothercare in Leamington - had them done 3 days before the ill-fated scan. Can't face the long walk through the store to collect them though! 8 weeks off work - excellent! Hope you have fun with the DC! x

puzzletree Wed 20-Jul-11 23:08:25

Hi lovely ladies, glad you're all keeping busy. I got a call from my gp yesterday saying sorry about my news (guess the hospital sent notes to them or something) and asking me to take in a urine sample, I presume to confirm a BFN. It'll be good to have everything documented properly anyway.
Feeling pretty ok really, lacking in motivation and bit spaced out, but I'm quite ok to see pregnant women and newborns etc. I think it helps that I know DP wants to TTC; he was never previously keen on the idea of a 3rd child (this pregnancy wasn't planned, unlike our two children). I guess he got used to the idea after all, the miscarriage was certainly very upsetting for him as well as for me. And even if it doesn't work out, I know how lucky we are to have two children already. Feel so so glad we didn't have to suffer miscarriage(s) before successful pregnancies, or a late miscarriage/stillbirth, some of the stories on this board and from friends are heartbreaking.

lemontop Thu 21-Jul-11 12:57:11

Hi all

Have been up since 6 and spent the morning in a soft play that resembled a Krypton Factor style assault course. I am exhausted but it certainly helped take my mind off things.

catsycatWe are not far from Croydon-in fact I might be heading to the Purley way Ikea on Saturday if I can face it. mamasorry your trip there was a bit of a nightmare. Hope you have a great 8 weeks off and the move is the fresh start you need. DH and I have been thinking about moving out of London for a while but we can't agree on where to move to (I am from up north and he is from down south!).

Catsycat Thu 21-Jul-11 14:16:17

Oh lemontop, Ikea and House of Fraser are the two things I really miss about Croydon (no offence - I'm a village girl at heart, and spent 10 years in Croydon feeling like a fish out of water). I love Ikea so much, and our nearest branch here is about an hours drive each way, up 2 motorways - it used to take us 5 minutes to get there sad. I am also a northerner, DH is from South Norwood. We now live in Worcestershire, so kind of slap bang in the middle.

Puzzletree, glad you're doing OK smile

Also, I need some advice - I was supposed to be getting the foetal remains returned to me from the hospital, once the lab had done with them. I was originally told they would be about a week, phoned after 2 weeks to ask the EPAU nurse what was going on - she said she would chase the lab, as they hadn't contacted her yet. That was a week ago, but I still haven't heard anything. Would you chase again? I don't want to nag, but am kind of concerned after 3 weeks that they have accidentally lost the remains, which would really, really upset me (obviously).

puzzletree Thu 21-Jul-11 20:05:33

Catsycat I'd definitely chase them up about the remains, I don't think messages like that get relayed particularly well in hospitals so persistance is necessary! I really hope they still have them for you. I still feel a bit bad that I lost whatever there was of the foetus down the toilet in hospital sad
lemondrop glad softplay was a distraction for you, personally I find those places depressing at the best of times, but then there has to be a trade off for happy exhausted children!
Tomorrow is when I would have had my 12 week scan. In fact I was going to ring to check it was cancelled (EPU said it would be, but this was a different hospital so I don't really trust their communication skills) but I haven't got round to doing it. Am planning a busy day out with the boys meeting friends to keep my mind off it, don't want to be sad mum, will save that for the evening with DP and a glass of wine.

Catsycat Thu 21-Jul-11 20:14:36

Puzzletree, sounds like a good plan for tomorrow. All the milestone weeks are going to be hard, aren't they...

Will have to ring EPAU re. the remains tomorrow... then I'll be planting up a big planter in the garden with the DDs smile

Mama5isalive Thu 21-Jul-11 21:57:40

Hi all - yes i do live quite close to there and will be moving even closer actually in your old neck of the woods so 1hop and skip and will be there!!!( trying to avoid too much personal info just in case)smile
well decided on the sofa and the beds and the dining room table yehhhhhhhh!!!
How are you today CC- sorry about the lack of info regarding your baby, i will chase the hospital and i would be fuming if they have misplaced your baby!
ohhh lemondrop your very close to me - yes my next step in a few years time will be to move more outer london, just have my DD10 last year in P.S and then to get my DS and then my DS6 to get through school also, DS12 is in S.C and so not to worried about him at all. they have move alot (DSs) so wanted to get them abit settled before we move again after this!
i hear you PT- i find that i am quite fortunate to be only dealing with the 1 MMC and this after my3 DC!!! i have close friends who have gone through this without having any children and the loss is very hard and scared to try again!!
yes i also hear you about baby and toilet, i believe that happened to me still dont understand why they wouldnt put something in the toilet so it doesnt happen???????????????? i still recall it all like it was yesterday! tomorrow will be a month that i had the OP!!!!!!!!!!! so another day of thinking and feeling quite low!!!!!
have a much needed eve out with some close GFs to cheer me up a bit! well needed! nowine will be had we are all brewtotal!!!!!!!!!

rosalina72 Fri 22-Jul-11 10:05:46

Hi ladies. Glad to hear you are all mostly feeling better with the usual wobbles during the important milestones. I guess that's to be expected. I was supposed to have my first antenatal appointment this week and would have had my 12 week scan in a week or so. I suspect that will be a difficult day. I like the idea of doing something nice with DC on those days. It beats moping around the house!! I've been feeling a little better in the last couple of days. I'm trying not to dwell on what's happened and just try to focus on the present & future. Hopefully AF will show up in a few weeks and we can start trying again.

Btw I've updated my stats as well. Take care and hope you all have lovely relaxing weekends xxx

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - ds3 feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ds21mts;Mar bus-mc 5.5 weeks

rosalina72 Fri 22-Jul-11 10:44:01

Oh, Catsycat forgot to mention that I think you should definitely call and bug the hospital about the remains. They're probably just very busy. I hope they get back to you soon. Good luck.

Catsycat Fri 22-Jul-11 15:12:15

Hello people! Surprisingly, AF has shown up today, 22 days after my ERPC, so a bit quicker than I expected. I do have short cycles though (usually 23-26 days), and I did think I might have ovulated last week. Hopefully this means things are in working order, and will be swi from next week.... (sorry if TMI grin)

mama5 we're brew total too! Enjoy your night out. How lovely to be choosing new furniture - I looove doing that. We are getting our new car tomorrow, which will be great (if I can drive it, it's virtually a bus)!

Have phoned the EPAU re. the remains, and the mw said the lab have looked at them and put the info on the system, so must have finished with them, but have not contacted her to say we can collect them. She has been trying to phone them, but can't get through, so sent them an e-mail a few days ago, but hasn't had a reply. She will try again next week if she doesn't hear from them by the end of the day... Apparently the remains get preserved in formalin, and the way they were described sounds like they are just black lumps sad so not expecting anything very pleasant, but all the same it is important to me to have them. I agree that there should be more done in hospital to stop them going down the loo, because it is really sad. It was just important to me to salvage what I could, when I was offered the option by the doctor.

Glad everyone seems to be doing well, and managing to stay pretty positive under the circumstances. x

Mama5isalive Mon 25-Jul-11 14:59:16

CC - thats good news your AF has returned mines has not!!!!!! how are you feeling? anymore info from the lab yet?
how are you Puzzletree? and also Lemontop, Rosalina72?
had a busy weekend and another next week wedding to attend!
another women from my church had a MC last week this is her second time! really feeling bad for her! and i know she feels now! but yet again it being her 2nd i cant imagine really!
hugs to all xxxx

puzzletree Wed 27-Jul-11 08:44:48

Hi All,
Have been away seeing friends down south for the weekend and now back and cracking on with potty training DS2. And he finally seems to have got the idea, hooray!
Glad AF has shown up for you Catsycat, hope your cycle is back on track now. It's weird not knowing what's going on. I've not got anywhere with ovulation testing yet, still negative. We've also not been using contraception for the past week so who knows what will happen....
Mama5 it sounds like you have a good support network at church. Hope your friend is ok.
Definitely feeling more positive now. Thanks for listening folks!

Catsycat Wed 27-Jul-11 12:28:17

Hi folks! Glad you are still out there...

Well done with the potty training Puzzletree, not looking forward to that with DD2 in a few months! Can't remember if I told you this before, but just a thought on the ov sticks; I tried those when trying to get pg with DD2, never got a positive, got really worried that I wasn't ovulating, then at the end of the month found I was pg. Good luck! I'm thinking of getting one of those saliva microscopes to see if I can tell from that when I am ovulating.

Mama5 sounds like life is keeping you busy. Sorry to hear about the lady at your church who mc.

I looked on the hospital website and found the phone number for the lab, and just rang them myself. The woman I spoke to said they never throw anything away, so not to worry about that, and that the lab manager has been on holiday, which might have caused the EPAU nurse's calls/emails to go unanswered. She has taken my details and said she will try to sort out the return of the remains for me. She was really nice. Hopefully this will get sorted now.

Really hoping to get pg this month. I know I will feel gutted if I don't, although rationally I know it is all a bit random, even if swi at the right time being no guarantee of a BFP....

I had Pixifoto photos of the 2 DDs taken 3 days before I found out the baby had died, and was meant to collect them the day after my ERPC. The studio is right at the back of the giant Leamington Mothercare, which I just didn't want to comtemplate going to at all, for quite some time. I finally felt OK about going there today, and have got my lovely photos - they are very good actually smile . Also gave me chance to test out the fab new car we collected at the weekend - pleased to say me and the Sharan are getting on well (even though I feel like I'm driving a bus)!!

lemontop Wed 27-Jul-11 13:44:42

Hi all

Glad to hear everyone is feeling rather positive. I am glad I got the first week post miscarriage over with. I'm feeling more positive and have stopped crying every day at least. I've been keeping myself busy with tidying and cleaning so my house actually looks decent for a change.

I reckon I might be up for TTC, it's just the worry of it happening again.

Off to my mum's tomorrow for the weekend so will be able to have a few nights out with DH, which will do us both good I think.

I'm dreading potty training DS. Will leave it as long as possible!

Mama5isalive Wed 27-Jul-11 14:08:35

yehhhhhhh my AF has finally arrived!!!!!!!!!!!! not happy about the crampimg pains and feelings brings back certain feelings i would like to forget!
puzzletree nice to hear you went to see some friends i do thing friendships are very important just as extra support and hand holding!!!!! potty training is also something im willing to get started awaiting the wonderful potty i ordered off amazon!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CC - im glad you contacted the lab wonderful!!!!!!! fingers and all crossed for you getting a BFP this month!!!!!!!! glad your enjoying your pictures and the new bus!!!!!!!
lemontop - glad your feeling better, 1 day at a time!!!! and all the best for ttc!

Another wedding this weekend i just hope my period settles so im not worried of any accidents happening!!!!!!!blush wonderful weather im praying for also! grin

rosalina72 Wed 27-Jul-11 18:14:31

Hi everyone. Glad everyone is doing better and much more positive these days. I guess time is a great healer! Also glad to hear AF has visited Mama and Catsy! Can I ask whether you both had your usual premenstrual symptoms or did AF just show up out of nowhere? The reason I ask is that I'm feeling like I might be coming on soon but it seems a bit too soon after the erpc (it'll be 2 weeks on friday). Also, did you feel that you ovulated in your usual way this time? Sorry, so many questions!
Good luck to everyone who is ready to ttc and may the swi begin!!

And good luck with the potty training! I tried when DS was 2.5 and he just wasn't interested. It was frustrating both of us so tried again when he was nearly 3 and bingo..potty trained in around a week grin

Catsycat Wed 27-Jul-11 20:13:42

Hi Rosalina - it's good to hear from you!

I don't really get much in the way of pre-menstrual symptoms, but I did feel quite fat on Thursday (I am quite fat, but I suppose it was bloating, which I don't usually get). I did think I ovulated - had a bit of spotting and EWCM between the ERPC bleeding stopping and AF starting (which was only about a week). It was only 22 days for me between the ERPC and AF, I usually have a 23 day cycle.

Definitely girding my loins (sorry!) for swi from Friday night!!!!!!! Sooooo romantic, isn't it?????? grin

kat2504 Thu 28-Jul-11 07:10:39

I was on both Feb 11 and Dec 11 buses. Trying again now. Having a few tests in the meantime but hoping there is nothing to worry about. Each time the mentalling gets worse though! I have three different ttc apps on my phone. One of them tells me " you should have intercourse today", very romantic I don't think!

Catsycat Thu 28-Jul-11 11:31:17

Hi kat - glad you joined us, but sorry you have been through this twice already. The mentalling is pretty bad, and I've only mc once. I almost convinced myself I had a short luteal phase yesterday, and was virtually desperate about it (hopefully this cycle will be back to normal - I think it was a bit short last month, but hopefully just a reaction to the ERPC etc). As the the swi, well, if your phone is telling you to do it..... grin !!!!!!!!

Hi mama5 glad your AF showed up too! Funny isn't it - we all want her to show up this month, but I for one will be gutted if she's back next month....

kat2504 Thu 28-Jul-11 13:07:51

I think it's fairly normal to have a shorter luteal phase the first cycle. Often women don't ovulate the first month so that would explain it. Should be back to normal the second month.

Catsycat Thu 28-Jul-11 13:46:38

That's a relief - thanks kat! Had got myself in a right state by yesterday night!!!

philbee Fri 29-Jul-11 13:00:19

I'd like to join. I was on the January bus - due the day after my birthday. But I started bleeding at 12+1 and scan showed mmc, maybe blighted ovum, and an empty sac measuring about 8-9 weeks. I miscarried naturally about 4 days later. It's four weeks today since I started bleeding, and everything about that time and, in fact, the pregnancy before it, seems a bit nightmarish and unreal now. I'm quite down at the mo, but just trying to have some good times with DD and focus on doing stuff together.

I've started doing more exercise again, and meditating every day to try to stop myself getting stressed, at least. Have now gone from obsessively looking at slings online to obsessively looking at trainers. Doh!

puzzletree Fri 29-Jul-11 14:20:14

Hi Philbee, sorry that you've been through this too, it's so tough. Glad you've got some strategies to keep you going. I'm similar, enjoying lots of trips out with DP and the boys, and have been buying new clothes too.

Have been a bit freaked out today though. Took a urine sample to the gp on tuesday as they'd requested one. And just got a phone call to say that it gave a positive pregnancy result confused and so I need to go in this afternoon to speak with a doctor. It has been almost 4 weeks since the miscarriage now and I did lots of HPTs once the bleeding stopped and the line on them got slowly more and more faint and was then negative. I've just done another one now and it's negative, but I guess the lab tests are more sensitive so maybe there are still pregnancy hormones lurking? Wonder what the next step would be then. Alternatively I suppose there is the possibility that this is a new pregnancy? We have had unprotected sex a few times but it'd be pretty early, and I haven't had any positive ovulation tests.

Hoping the gp can shed some light, and the boys (I have to take them with me) don't ask too many questions!! Best get ready to head out, will update you later....

Catsycat Fri 29-Jul-11 15:43:37

Hi philbee, glad you have something to focus on and hopefully help you through this.

Puzzletree I hope everything is OK with you.

Well, this weekend will be the launch of operation SWI. Had a bit of a scare this morning when I did my chart, as I had a higher temp, and had some spotting yesterday, so thought I must have ovulated already, but am prepared to view the temp reading as a blip and the spotting as something weird and ERPC related (!) and carry on regardless. Wish me luck!!!!!!!

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

puzzletree Fri 29-Jul-11 15:50:24

Hi again, back from docs. As expected, he didn't really have any answers, but I've got an appointment at the EPU on monday where they'll probably do a blood test and a scan to work out what's going on. And there was I just waiting for AF...

Catsycat I have my fingers firmly crossed for you, enjoy operation SWI and hopefully you'll soon be reporting mission accomplished!

Mama5isalive Sun 31-Jul-11 22:10:57

hi all - soo sorry been so busy have not had a chance to check in at all!
Hi welcome ( sadly) Kat - im so sorry that you have missed 2 buses i cant imagine, but i hope you will find comfort in holding hands and sharing as much as you like while we wait here with us all until your bus comes!
CC- hope all goes well with you and your mission to TTC this month!!!!
well my AF was 2 days off pain and not a (TMI) clot insight, which surprised me but i guess after the ERPC my body never got to built up much! if that makes any sense!!!!!!! day5 and it now looks to be trailing off now so its coming to an end now,yehhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
well me and DH have just decided to not get too obsessed and just see what happens, moving home is stressful enough no more pressure here is needed so TTC is on the back burner on low heat for now!!!!!!
went to a friends wedding on sat and it was fab!!!!!!!! tears flowing while everyone spoke about them having babies soon! amazing what your mind thinks off when its said " conceiving and keeping a safe bean"
and also just found out another friend is expecting in Feb and she announced it on FB - oh my gosh i thought and i pray all goes well, telling everyone like that is so not for me!!!!!!!!!!!
i have friend on a 10 week, 8 week, 6 week and 5 week countdown till they have their babies!!!!!!! cant wait so i have loads of new babies to hold!!!!!!!!
i guess at that time will be my true test of if im back to my "old self" and not fall to pieces!!!!!!!

lemontop Mon 01-Aug-11 09:29:00

Hi all and welcome philbee and kat

puzzletree wow I wonder what's going on? Do let us know when you find out!

catsycat best of luck!

mama glad your AF is nearly over. Have you moved yet? Glad you enjoyed the wedding.

I had a bit of a wobble over the weekend. I went out with DH for a meal. It was the first night out we've had together since March but I got really weepy so it was a pretty miserable meal. I don't think the wine helped so am going to take a leaf out of you brewtotallers book and give up booze for a while and try and get myself healthy and sort my head out a bit. DH has surprised me today with a trip to the theatre next Saturday so hopefully that will be a more positive experience.

rosalina72 Mon 01-Aug-11 12:22:33

Hi everyone. Hi and welcome to Philbee and Kat. I'm feeling a bit like you today lemontop. Just found out the lady opposite me at work is pregnant and she's parading showing her bump to some people here. It's made me feel really down right now. I just want the day to be over frankly sad

puzzletree Mon 01-Aug-11 16:12:26

Hello everyone. Back from hospital and it was all a bit of a waste of time really as they just did a urine test which was negative. But at least that means the miscarriage is over and my body should be returning to normal. Feeling pretty bloated today actually so perhaps AF is on her way, hope so, really want to crack on with TTC properly! Has anyone joined a TTC thread yet? I've never been on one before.
Sorry for those of you feeling down at the moment, keep talking here, we understand!

Catsycat Tue 02-Aug-11 11:23:48

Hi folks. Been busy over the weekend with some of DH's nieces visiting, and all the time not spent showing them round spent SWI!!!!! A bit gutted, as one of the DN's told me her sister is pg and due in December.

I know it's mean, but I really felt like I was more deserving of being pg than her. It is the first time I've felt resentful about someone else being pregnant since I had the mc. Possibly because her children are all very close in age to mine; DC1 is about 7 mos older than my DD1, and her DC2 is about 6 weeks younger than my DD2, and her DC3 is now due the month before I was due to have DC3. I also have a real problem with some of her parenting ideas, which IMO will really hold her children's education back. And she is 11 years younger than me, so I'm a bit gutted that I feel she has loads of time to have more kids, while my clock is ticking VERY LOUDLY!!!!! See, I am a total b*tch aren't I? sad

I am also really concerned that I am ovulating too late in my cycle to conceive successfully, and wondering if this was what went wrong with my mc. Trying to decide what to do about it.

mama5 glad you had a busy weekend and enjoyed the wedding.

lemontop nice to hear you've been out and about, we all have wobbles along the way, I think (having one now). What are you going to see at the theatre?

Puzzletree Well, that was a bit mysterious then! Hope you are OK, and get AF soon. I'm on a thread on the conception board called "Lets Make Some May Babies" (or something like that). Would put a link in if I could figure out how to do it!!!! It's quite a jolly bunch so come and join in if you fancy it!

puzzletree Tue 02-Aug-11 16:51:43

Hey there all. Hope you're feeling a bit better today Rosalina and lemontop? And mama philbee and Kat you're all doing ok too.

Catsycat, sorry you're feeling a bit envy of others but I think it's a natural reaction as I've definitely had that feeling initially when hearing of others who are due in february, especially when they choose to announce by excitedly posting a scan picture on facebook. But of course I'm happy for them too. Really hope I'm pregnant before february or I'm sure it'll be tough seeing all the new baby photos. Actually I had a weird moment today when I was eating lunch in a cafe with my boys. A group of heavily pregnant women arrived at the next table and were chatting quite loudly about how they were getting on. They were obviously all first timers and it gave me a flashback to a meet up I had with my antenatal group when we were all finally on mat leave and able to waddle to a nice cafe for lunch together before the babies arrived. We were all so excited and nervous about birth and babies, and I went into labour with my ds1 that night. Will never be quite like that again will it. But it'd still be amazing to have one more go at it all smile

Also just wondering what the link is that you mentioned between late ovulation and mc? I'm not really clued up on this stuff, am just assuming my miscarriage was a random problem with the baby or placenta.

Will go check out the May TTC thread. AF definitely here today, feeling positive that august 1st is a nice easy date to remember smile

Catsycat Tue 02-Aug-11 22:39:44

rosalina sorry you had a tough day yesterday - I hope today was better & that your colleague has calmed down a bit...

puzzletree. The link is a bit contentious by the look of it. It's to do with the production of progesterone, and the time taken for the fertilized egg to implant properly, and the amount of progesterone needed for the baby to grow. Brain is too tired to really explain it properly, and I did have a really good website open that explained it, but my browser crashed before I bookmarked it - now I can't find it again, grrrr!

Basically, if you have a short luteal phase (from ovulation to AF) the theory is that you may not have enough progesterone for the egg to implant OR for the pregnancy to be sustained for long. The average 28 day cycle would have ovulation at 14 days, so a 14 day luteal phase. A short luteal phase seems to be defined as anything under 12 or 10 days (opinion seems to be divided). Apologies if I have mangled the science a bit - I'm very tired right now!

I'm worried because my cycle was 28 days before DD1, then about 26 before DD2, now it is 23 days. AF came back after my ERPC after 22 days! I am charting this month, and haven't ovulated yet on day 12, CM is not really EWCM yet either. So even if I ov tomorrow, it will only be 11 days till AF is due IF I am still on a 23 day cycle. I know with the baby I lost, we didn't DTD till day 13 of my cycle, indicating I had a short luteal phase then too.

I guess I am still looking for answers as to why I mc, but am genuinely worried that this does seem to be a potential problem. It is really, really depressing!

rosalina72 Wed 03-Aug-11 06:39:20

Hi everyone. Catsycat, thankfully I work mostly from home so I don't have to see this woman that often. However, we've got a few pregnant family members and most of my friends have all gone on to have their seconds and thinking of thirds now! I'm just feeling a bit of bump envy!! I wish them all well obviously but I can't stop thinking that should have/would have been me.

So sorry you're worried about LP. I think mine has changed too over the years, getting shorter and at times erratic. No doubt this could affect conception and/or sustainability of the pregnancy. I'm more worried staying pregnant. I seem to conceive quite easily. But have had 2 mc and 1 birth. Not very good stats imo.

Did you have blood work done when you were miscarrying? Could you go back to EPU or your GP and ask to have your progesterone levels checked? I'm thinking of doing that. Also, a friend of mine who's been doing IVF told me it may be a good idea to take aspirin as she's been told it doesn't do any harm and can only help make the lining in the uterus a better place for implantation. Not sure how accurate that is but maybe it's worth asking your GP about this too?

I'm going to make an appointment with my GP and at least ask the questions in case I do need some assistance at least the ball is rolling. Like you my clock is ticking away and DS is getting older and don't want a huge age gap if I can help it.

puzzletree Wed 03-Aug-11 08:29:17

Thanks for explaining that Catsycat. Hope it turns out not to be an issue for you. Like you and Rosalina my cycles have definitely got more erratic too recently, they used to always be pretty consistently 28 days, heavy and painful, then after having the boys (I think I only had one or two periods between them) they were still regular but not quite as heavy and not painful. But over the last year they have been getting heavier and painful again, and ranged in duration from 25 to 30 days, I'd say most often being 26/27 days. Is this to do with age then? I'm 34 now.

Was actually logging on to ask those of you who've had AF post-MC, was it different to normal? Probably TMI but so far mine seems as heavy as normal, but a really weird consistency, sort of mucousy. Hope this isn't a problem and just an after effect of the MC.
Being female is so complicated at times!!

rosalina72 Wed 03-Aug-11 12:08:08

Hi Puzzle. I definitely think the changes are age related. I'm 38 and my periods have been getting shorter and lighter over the last few years (around 26/27 cycle and 3/4 days long . I'm still waiting for AF so I can't answer the consistency question. After the first mc I went straight onto the pill as the timing wasn't right for a baby so my periods virtually disappeared! The mucous thing is probably an after effect of mc as you say. If you're a bit concerned maybe speak with your GP though just to put your mind at rest.

Catsycat Wed 03-Aug-11 12:42:59

Puzzletree, my AF was very mucousy! Glad it wasn't just me - must be a mc thing I think.

Like Rosalina my periods have definitely got lighter and shorter, as well as having a much shorter cycle than when I was younger. I don't know if it is age related, or to do with having children, but I suspect age...

I never had any blood tests during my mc / pregnancy. The only ones I had were to cross-match my blood type in A&E, and I think they also did two others in A&E, but I think to do with haemoglobin (?) / blood loss rather than the pg itself.

I think I will go to my GP tomorrow and see what he says. He is very respectful of patients' opinions, so hoping he will hear me out and suggest something useful. I'm also worried about mc again (if I amazingly manage to get pg this month). I just got some progesterone cream to apply after ov, from Amazon - it arrived this morning and has a huge cancer warning on the side shock!!!! Scared of it now!!!! I might discuss the cream, aspirin and blood tests with my GP, just need to jump the hurdle of the appointments system and get in to see him now.

Oh, and I still don't appear to have ovulated.... day 13 now....

Mama5isalive Wed 03-Aug-11 12:59:39

hi all sorry i have been a bit caught up DH birthday on monday and had friends fly out on tues, and then i just chilled out while the dc all went swimming and then to the park, just was able to relax and me,dh and ds just slept!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my af was painful for 2 days but totally clot free and just dark! 5 days then finished but now my on my calculations im on a 32day cycle so 4 days more then my 28 day cycle before!!!!!! am i stupid i cant understand how to work out my luteal phase???????? and is it 14 days before your af date that you can get pregnant???????? duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i know but just need to know just in case!

Catsycat Wed 03-Aug-11 16:11:14

Hi mama5, glad you've been having a nice time. Ooops, looks like I've spread luteal phase paranoia!!! To work out your luteal phase, you need to know what day of your cycle you ovulated, you can chart temperatures each morning to work this out. The luteal phase is the number of days from ovulation to AF arriving. As you know, you have more chance of getting pregnant round the time you ovulate, and the average ovulation day is 14 days into the cycle, based on an average 28 day cycle, but this varies from person to person. So I suppose 14 days after the day AF starts would be a good guess for a lot of people, but you can work it out more accurately by charting. Hope this helps!

Mama5isalive Wed 03-Aug-11 18:33:28

oh thanks Catsycat - im too lazy to be charting ive never done it before and really cant be asked with it all!!!!!
i will enjoy my time spend with DH and if it happens then whoooooooopppppppp
im so glad for all of you who are ttc and i will have all crossed in may babies!
hope you all relax and dont get stressed about ovulations and temp and positions and enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!

lemontop Wed 03-Aug-11 22:28:35

rosalina sorry to hear about your day at work. It must be a nightmare having someone at work so in your face pregnant.

I have been avoiding meeting up with friends as everyone in my group of local mums is either pregnant or trying. I hadn't actually seen any of them so went to the park this morning but just didn't feel like socializing so made heat-related excuse and left! I'm still feeling pretty rotten to be honest. Just can't be bothered to meet up with anyone. Have vague plans to meet pregnant friend tomorrow (argh!) and another friend on Friday. Will try and make an effort and not chicken out this time.

Don't want to sound all negative. I actually had a lovely day with my DS.

Interesting stuff about luteal phases and cycles. I am pretty in the dark about all this to be honest.

Catsycat Thu 04-Aug-11 10:27:14

Hi folks. Well, day 14 of my stupid 23 day cycle, and still no temp raise on my chart.

Have had a phone appointment with my lovely GP (I started crying after about 30 seconds, but just carried on regardless hoping he could understand my snotty sniffling voice!). He has told me to go in for day 3 bloodtests (absolutely loads of them by the sound of it) and will then decide if I need a referral. Will refer me to Warwick if I need to see anyone. Unfortunately, he is now off on holiday for the rest of August, so I will probably have to see another GP at the surgery regarding any results.

Am feeling bloated and have a dull belly ache, and had some EWCM today, so think ov might be imminent, but DH is now refusing to SWI any more until I have had tests, as he doesn't want me to get pg if there is a chance I will mc again. Feel like every month I get closer to the menopause, and feeling very fat and very old! I also have CFS, and sleep apnoea, both of which some people believe can mess with your fertility (and certainly don't make you feel particularly chipper at times like these).

rosalina72 Thu 04-Aug-11 15:50:06

Catsy, if you've only had one miscarriage I wouldn't worry too much about it happening again as it is sadly very very common and having one doesn't necessarily indicate that there's a problem. I've also read that tracking your temperature is not as accurate as tracking the cm. By the sounds of it it looks like you're ovulating now or very soon.

I think it's good that you're having tests though just to put your mind at ease. If there is an underlying issue like the short LP there should be treatment for that.

Try not to stress too much and I'm sure you're no where near menopause!!! There's time yet for us oldies!! smile

Catsycat Thu 04-Aug-11 16:29:22

Thanks Rosalina for your lovely reply <wipes away a tear>. Feeling a bit emotional today!

Mama5isalive Thu 04-Aug-11 17:07:50

hi all - big massive wave to all aboard this bus, singing and chanting" we r going to have babies very soon, we r going to have babies very soon"

well dont know what to say but i went to the loo and wiped and saw some dark blood ermmmmm so im confused have i already had my first AF since the op and this was on the 27th July ended sunday gone, so why today am i bleeding!!!!!!!confused! anyone someone tell me im not crazy and all is well!!!!!!!!

Catsycat Thu 04-Aug-11 18:56:39

Hi mama5 I had a bit of spotting a couple of days after the end of AF this month - I put it down to things still settling after the mc, but will look into it further if it goes on.

I have also had dark brownish blood on wiping (but not this month) around when I ovulate in recent months, so I wonder if you are ovulating? If you have EWCM too then it could be this...

lemontop Thu 04-Aug-11 21:00:13

Hi all

Hope you are all OK today. Have a bit of a weird dilemma re MC 'paperwork'. My DH took a day off sick to come with A&E with me when I was miscarrying. His company are now demanding a letter of proof-despite previously saying they would put it down as compassionate leave. sad I don't particularly want his bosses reading all my personal stuff but to make matters worse I can't find any of the paperwork!!! I had put it somewhere very safe and have literally searched everywhere but it's nowhere to be found. Do you think the EPU will send some sort of proof out again if I ring them? I'm hoping I've temporarily gone mad and will remember where I put it soon because I feel gutted as in a way that was my only real 'proof' that it happened. sad

puzzletree Thu 04-Aug-11 21:44:46

wow lemontop can't believe your DH work are being so awkward about this. my DH took a couple of days off with no problems. also I didn't get any paperwork from the hospital at all. but my GP was informed so it's on my medical record there. perhaps your GP could print/write something for you? or as you say EPU might be able to send something.

lemontop Thu 04-Aug-11 22:29:31

It's pathetic really for one day off work. He's been there for years! Good idea to chat to GP. Ideally I'd like something with as few personal details as possible. Grrr

greengoose Fri 05-Aug-11 14:50:12

Hi all. I think this might be the bus for me... Just got back from EPU this afternoon, and it appears I have been booted off the due March2012 bus. I was only 6weeks along, and they said it should start to come away by itself over the next few days. I dont know what to expect, as last time around I had the op when I miscarried. We already have two wonderful boys, so thats keeping me sane right now, I know how lucky I am.
We want to try again straight away, although Im a bit exhausted by the ride right now. My DP has bought me lots of chocolate and books to get me through the next few days. Im not sure who is going to get him through though...

greengoose Fri 05-Aug-11 14:53:24

Lemontop, your DH is entitled to a certain amount of compassionate leave per year, and Im sure he doesnt have to provide written proof when its only one day. I can see it might not be worth rocking the boat though. Like puzzletree said, it would prob be best just to ask your GP, they can be very vague when you ask them!

Mama5isalive Fri 05-Aug-11 15:37:53

Hi all - lemontop that sounds mad! and how awful that DH work need proof!!!!!!
for 1 day they have no compassion at all with the circumstances and all that!
i have not been back since june just before the dreaded scan!!!! dont feel guilty now my gp signed me off till september!!!!!!
welcome sadly - greengoose - im sorry to find you riding on this bus,but relax and get as comfy as you like. How are you feeling about it all, 6 weeks and it being your 2nd right! so sorry. i had an erpc at just over 12 weeks had the op couldnt bear to deal with being pregnant any longer!!!!
im glad you have other dc to keep you busy and a lovely dp!!!! chocolate yummy!
ttc sounds great!!!!!
ive been on my wiifit and loving it DH bought it for me when i complained about my body still looking pregnant! on my way to my target i set!

puzzletree Fri 05-Aug-11 19:14:51

Hi greengoose really sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Hope it isn't too traumatic when you actually lose the blood and tissue, it can be quite heavy and painful so look after yourself and get medical attention if you need it.
I've got two lovely boys too and totally agree that they help keep you going and remind you how lucky you are in the grand scheme of things. You've got a good DP there. I also spent the days following the miscarriage reading trashy books in bed. I've got a kindle so just downloaded a few of the really cheap ones. It was just what was needed, a mindless distraction from life for a bit.
Regarding ttc, there are a few of us getting back into it pretty quickly, so join us when you're ready, on here or on the conception boards.
mama5 well done for getting on with the wiifit, I really ought to do some exercise, haven't really got any excuses now!

Catsycat Fri 05-Aug-11 19:33:16

Hi greengoose sorry to hear you've had to join us - we're a pretty nice bunch though! Just to second puzzletree's advice to get medical attention if needed. I'm glad you are being looked after by DP.

lemontop, hope you manage to sort it out with DH's work. They sound a bit jobsworthy - not fun having to sort that all out too.

Spoke to the lab manager at the hospital yesterday, as STILL no remains being handed over. He knew what it was about as soon as I told him my name, and promised to arrange the return of the remains with the EPAU nurse. I'm going there on Tuesday to see the dermatologist, so am hoping to combine the two tasks into one trip, as it's a 45 minute drive each way to the hospital...

greengoose Sat 06-Aug-11 09:54:55

Thanks for the welcome ladies! Im just waiting it out now... nothing much happening. (blood stopped again over night, but bad cramps still). I feel a bit numb.
I got an ebay reminder this morning about a mountain buggy (Why did I save that search)???? Its thrown me a bit. Feeling crap to be honest. Want this over so we can try again. I think next time (if there is) I will be a complete wreck and not feel at all preg, just feel 'waiting to loose it'. Dont know how to feel hopeful right now....
I hadnt told anyone, but I have a bit of a problem, because the day before I MC'd I cancelled my place in a sponsered sea swim that was due for when I would have been 11 weeks, so I would just have told people on that day. Now I cant do it, and I have to give a reason. Im really letting my friends down by not doing it, but I dont want to tell the whole world that Ive MC'd.
Isnt it odd how I can talk to you lot who I have never met, yet there is a taboo about telling the people who I know in the RW?? Maybe I just need to tell them. Hell.

Mama5isalive Sun 07-Aug-11 09:39:43

Ahhhh greengoose - thats so nice that your thinking of others while your dealing with your real and painful loss! i would tell at least one of your friends just so they know the reasons i wouldnt lie its no shame you have and are dealing with a real loss and it should be addressed! and i do believe you really wanted to be a part of it is there something else you can do to help instead!
i went out yesterday and was around 3 very large pregnant friends and was a bit hard but im glad i can face them and even feel baby moving! i do believe i will get pregnant again!!!!!!!!
had a scan reminder come in also from a private clinic so was upset about that would of been my 20 weeks scan!!!!!!!!! oh well life and those Big reminders of what would of been. ( like the ebay buggy thing)
big hugs to you xxxxx all

lemontop Sun 07-Aug-11 13:23:39

Hi greengoose. Sorry this has happened to you. I was also on the March thread as sudocremdelacreme (had name changed just in case...) and had MC at similar number of weeks. I hope you are feeling OK. Your DH sounds lovely. I agree that you should tell your friends, but in your own time. There's no rush to do it straight away.

mama I'm glad you could be around your pregnant friends. Sending positive vibes that you get pregnant soon.

Good news is that DH doesn't have to show any letter, which is just as well as he had decided to tell them to stick it, anyway! Think his bosses realised they were being a bit jobsworthy. My MIL came to babysit yesterday so me and DH went out for a meal and had a really nice time. I am determined to make the most of my last two weeks of holiday. I won a competition for a family to visit Longleat on here recently so might try and go there next weekend or the week after.

I'm wondering if my AF is on the way. Had a bit of PMT type symptoms so hopefully won't be too long. Think we are going to start TTC pretty quickly. It's not perfect because the first teaching term after summer is a stressy nightmare, but I've given up trying to plan for the perfect time. It took me 5 months to conceive my DS and my most recent pregnancy so better get cracking!

greengoose Sun 07-Aug-11 17:15:15

Hi all. lemontop glad you had a nice meal out! And that the bosses at DH's work are being a little less unhelpful. Longleat is great, I highly recommend it as a not too stressy day out!
We are also going to try again as soon as we can too. I dont think there is a 'right time' and even if there was Ive given up thinking I have very much control over it. I deliberately waited until June to start trying so I could have a Spring baby.... That seems a little blind of me, both in thinking it was going to happen so fast (which it did) and thinking it would stick.... I think I was just scared after last MC in Nov... And now Ive waisted those months I could have been trying... Oh well, we will wait for this to finish and then I feel I want to view it as a 'false start' (when they scanned me on Fri they couldnt even find a Im not feeling like I lost more than my dreams this time around) and get on with trying properly. (still not having anything more than period type bleeding and pain, so I might feel differently if it all gets horrible).
Hope you are all enjoying the weekend!

freedom2011 Sun 07-Aug-11 23:52:12

Can I join? Was due March 2012. Miscarried today after 5 days of heavy bleeding and had an immediate D&C. Only 8 weeks in but still felt a massive wave of sadness for what might have been when the doctor confirmed it. It was first pregnancy after 2 years of trying to conceive. I've moved from TTC thread, to March due date thread to miscarriage thread in the space of less than 2 weeks and I'm feeling a bit confused and battered with it all.

Mama5isalive Mon 08-Aug-11 03:30:54

oh freedom2011 im so very sorry for your loss, i cant imagine how your feeling that you have moved from 3 threads in such a short space of time!
and after 2 years of TTC - my thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours.
be good to yourself and talk to your DP/DH because your going to need each other to get through!

Mama5isalive Mon 08-Aug-11 03:39:22

mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
rosalina72 - ds3 feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
lemontop -ds21mts;Mar bus-mc 5.5 weeks
Greengoose -DSx2 Mar bus - mc 6 weeks
Freedom2011 -bus Mar - mc 8 weeks.

just thought i would update the stats so we know each others history.
please correct if wrong!!!!!

Mama5isalive Mon 08-Aug-11 19:48:31

im having a "zumba party workout" in my front room with DD17 having so much fun trying to ignore the madness on the news all over and around us! the world has gone mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this workout might give me energy for later for my DH!!!!

Catsycat Mon 08-Aug-11 21:11:06

mama5 and lemontop hope you're both OK - watching Reeves corner go up on the news, and hoping you and your families are safe xx

Mama5isalive Tue 09-Aug-11 01:46:06

ahhh thanks catsycat - im in a residential area so no where near town centre, but its pretty awful watching places you know and visted going up in smoke!
i can hear sirens and helicopters! been speaking to family members all are safe although quite close to the action!!!! woolwich being raided i could hear it whilst on the phone to my sister! crazy!!!!!!!!

Catsycat Tue 09-Aug-11 10:01:19

Glad you're OK mama5. My DH's cousin has a shop in the market, so I'm hoping he is OK too. DH spoke to his mum last night, and everyone was OK then. SIL and her children live off London Road, but nearer to Thornton Heath pond than the town centre, so hoping the chaos didn't make it that far. Just scared me to death seeing the tram tracks burning outside Reeves, and seeing buildings I recognised and used to drive past daily burnt out. So sorry for everyone who has had their lives disrupted by this.

lemontop Tue 09-Aug-11 10:08:26

I'm fine thanks catsycat. Hope your family are all OK. I'm in Gipsy Hill so a fair way away, but was glued to the TV watching it all. Even some of our local shops got smashed up and looted. I'm worried it's just going to go on and on.

Catsycat Tue 09-Aug-11 10:22:55

Glad to hear you're OK lemontop. Can't believe how widespread this has become. I really hope it stops soon.

harrietlichman Tue 09-Aug-11 10:50:05

I was on the Feb 2012 bus - mc at 7 wks. Was feeling kind of philosophical about it all but found out this morning that a friend has just had 12 week scan and announced her pg - am happy for her, but she is due exactly a week after I would have been, and it has thrown up a lot of emotions. I still haven't had my AF either - anyone know how long it usually is? I am not sure whether I can bear to try again and face the same heartbreak (2nd mc) I don't discuss it with anyone in RL, so is good to have MN to gain some comfort from.

Catsycat Tue 09-Aug-11 14:58:45

Hi harriet, I'm very sorry for your loss.

My AF came back after 22 days. I had an ERPC, and was 10.5 weeks when I mc (it started naturally, but I needed the ERPC because things got stuck). The baby was only 5 weeks size. I think it's different for everyone though. I got a BFN after only about a week, so I don't think I had that high a level of hormones by the time I mc.

I've just been to the hospital to pick up the remains of my baby. I got really upset, but had a good chat with the mw. She was lovely. I also went to the plant nursery on the way home, and bought a Viburnum Tinus for the garden - I am thinking of burying the remains under it, as it will be in flower in January (when the baby was due).

freedom2011 Tue 09-Aug-11 16:28:01

Harriet sorry to hear about your loss. I've no idea how long it takes for AF to turn up I'm afraid but after my D&C they suggested waiting for 3 months to fully heal (in mind as well as body) before getting pregnant again but said it wasn't a big problem if I got pregnant before the full 3 months was up. Was it your first pregnancy or do you already have children?

puzzletree Tue 09-Aug-11 17:03:54

Hi everyone. Sorry you're here too Harriet I was on feb2012 too and miscarried at 9 weeks (no scan beforehand so don't know when the baby died), my period came back 4 weeks after the miscarriage. The nurses at EPU said it could take a couple of months. But as others have said, it varies from person to person.
I know what you mean about friends due at the same time we would have been. The announcements have been coming recently as they're all getting past that first scan. As for trying again, there will always be the risk of miscarriage again but there's a greater chance of having a healthy pregnancy. Please don't let it put you off trying again. Hopefully all of us who are trying again will be lucky soon. Take care of yourself.

puzzletree Tue 09-Aug-11 17:05:01

Oh and Catsycat, glad you got the remains, the tree blooming in Jan is such a lovely idea.

harrietlichman Wed 10-Aug-11 08:40:25

Lovely idea Catsycat, would be lovely to have something special like that. Puzzletree, I have two ds's (for which I am very thankful) and the gp said that because of that, they won't do any testing on me until I have a 3rd mc - another concern for me is my age (nearly 40) and I do wonder if I have left it too late and should just count the blessings I already have (and I do, but hopefully you know what I mean when I say I can't help but want another dc) Wishing you lots of luck too, and everybody else on this thread.

puzzletree Wed 10-Aug-11 10:40:15

harrietlichman know exactly what you mean, I also have two DS's. big hugs.

greengoose Wed 10-Aug-11 11:44:25

Hi all. Hope everyones been safe and not scared by the riots.... unbelievable really.
Anyway, Im in the throws of what I guess must be the miscarriage, but (and Im not complaining, just confused) it doesnt hurt much yet. Im scared that this isnt going to do it, and Ill have to have another d+c, which I wanted to avoid as it took my period forever to return last time.... Oh well, wait and see I guess. (after my scan the MW said that my womb lining was 17mm instead of 4mm for usual menses, but sac had already been absorbed, so she said it should be about 3 times heavier than period, but no obvious large clots. I didnt know they could tell you what to expect in this way, so it was a bit of a relief).
harriet and puzzle I also have two sons, (8 + 3) and Im 38, so dont know if I am right to be continuing to try... I really want another DC (and just between me and MN, I havent given up on having a DD)! I also really dont want to remember the end of having children being about MCs and sorrow, I want to have a happy ending. There are a few older people I know (my ML for 1) who always refer to stopping trying after the MC, and it sounds so sad. (I sound so greedy, I am so lucky to have the family Ive got).
Are any of you trying again then.... I dont want to join another bus until this has finished.....

rosalina72 Wed 10-Aug-11 13:40:15

Greengoose you're not greedy for wanting another child. It's just how you feel. I don't think wanting another means that you're not grateful or happy with what you've got. I already have one son but I would like him to have a sibling. I have two sisters myself and have always cherished my relationship with them. I don't want him to miss out on that.

I'm still waiting for AF too Harriet. I've been bloated and cranky for 2 weeks but still nothing!! I hope we don't have to wait much longer.

As for ttc, I hope to start after one normal AF. After the D&C the doc said I could try right away (after the bleeding cleared) as long as I was mentally ready. I suppose mc could happen again and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried but we have to stay positive. I've had a successful pregnancy after mc so I know it can happen.

Fingers crossed for all of us who want to give it another go! xxxxx

Btw, Catsycat so glad you finally got the remains and the idea of the plant is really nice.

Catsycat Wed 10-Aug-11 16:56:02

Hi greengoose. Glad you're not in too much pain, and finding it manageable. I'm 38 too and have two DDs, like you I don't want this to be the end of my childbearing days! It would feel like a defeat in some way to me, which I know probably sounds silly, and like you say, would be a rather sad ending. I had a good old cry at the mw at Warwick yesterday, about how this might have been my last chance (poor woman!).

I think if you wanted more children, then that is what you wanted - nothing wrong with that, if that is how you imagined your family being complete.

We were ttc this month (after the first normal AF), but doubt I'm pg as we stopped swi a few days before I ovulated, when we decided I should get my hormones checked first. Wishing I could be pg though. I just started a diet on Monday, and have been weeing non-stop, so obviously I keep fantasising that it's a symptom (well, it's a symptom of being on the Dukan diet, nothing more)!

rosalina I had really bad bloating (and back pain) for a few days before my AF, which I normally never have. Fingers crossed you can soon get on with trying again!

rosalina72 Wed 10-Aug-11 18:28:04

I've had really bad back pain too!! That's so weird! I never get that before my AF either. I hope I get it soon. I've read about so many women who don't get their periods for ages after erpc!

Good luck with the diet! I should do a bit of dieting myself. Too much cake lately blush

Mama5isalive Wed 10-Aug-11 19:10:19

hi all - Catsycat - what a lovely and so fitting way to always remember your baby!
Harriet - i would keep HOPE alive and no matter the age as long as body is sending out eggs why not keep trying, as long as your DH/DP supports you!
GreenG- i agree also with Ros72 - its far from greedy i have 3 DC and i never wandered about another after my son 18 months, was born but now i feel like i have unfinished business so will keep on trying with the full support of my mind, body and DH!!!!!!!!
im ov-ing i believe slight pains and its day14 before AF should i go for it today or tomo????? not sure how this all works or will today be to early?????
its amazing how intune we are now to our bodies and the back ache and signs we are watching out for!!!!! fingers crossed for the upcoming +!!!!!!!!!!
first time out since the riots and madness loads of shops around are showing signs of damage so sad!!!!!
lemontop - how are u today???

Catsycat Wed 10-Aug-11 19:35:22

Hi mama5. If you think you are ovulating today, then go for it today and tomorrow!!!! I would wink.

Sorry to hear about all the looting damage. Did any of the town centre escape? Feel so sorry for all the business owners, and all the people whose homes are gone sad

Mama5isalive Wed 10-Aug-11 21:40:35

CC-Thanks for the SWI support!!!! will do if i get rid of our guests- family are here playing wii! and catching jokes!!!!! so nice to forget everything and just have fun i miss it - note to self must have more fun!!!!!!!!grin

tumblebug Thu 11-Aug-11 21:44:45

Hi, please can I join you? I was on the Feb 2012 bus too, started bleeding lightly on Tuesday, scan yesterday showed large sac but baby stopped growing around 5 weeks. (On holiday, so will be going back to different hospital). I was advised to get a repeat scan next week, then see if I need ERPC. Was told to expect bleeding like 'a heavy period'.

I'm bleeding but really not heavily, and really don't know what to expect. Have read some of the other threads and it sounds like the bleeding can be awful. I am due to go back to work on Monday, but it's a 2 1/2 hour commute each way by public transport, couldn't cope if I started bleeding really heavily. Did any of you have much time off work?

Although I'm sad about it, I also just want this bit to be over and want to start trying again, just want another baby and worrying about age gaps (DS now 21 months). I like the statistic about being more likely to have a healthy pregnancy on the next 6 months - I'll hold that thought.

puzzletree Thu 11-Aug-11 22:33:41

Hi tumblebug, so sorry for your miscarriage. It's just awful isn't it.

I'm not sure how developed the baby etc were but I was 9 weeks pregnant when I miscarried and I started bleeding one day and the next day it became very heavy over a couple of hours- I had to go to A&E to be checked out and stayed in hospital most of the day. I have heavy periods and this was like an especially intense period, with the added horror of passing enormous clots and tissue. All in all it was pretty physically and emotionally draining and I wouldn't have wanted to be far from a toilet and somewhere to sit/lie down. The EPU nurse said that if I worked ( I don't just now) then I should take a couple of weeks off. So, especially given your commute, I would ask for another week off, or at least suggest that you may not be well enough to go in at short notice on monday. And take the opportunity to rest if you can.

Good luck and I hope the bleeding is not too bad for you. Emotionally it will be hard regardless. And I understand the feeling of wanting to get pregnant again soon, there are a few of us here TTC again straight away or in the next cycle.

tumblebug Thu 11-Aug-11 23:12:06

Hi puzzletree, thanks for your reply. I think because I'm on holiday work was the last thing on my mind, so I didn't think to ask, not that I was thinking about much. I forgot to say earlier I was 11.5 weeks pregnant.

As it stands I was due to have my 12 week scan on Monday morning, so expected late and at my closer workplace (only an hour's drive by car). I had told one colleague I was pregnant (the other is on holiday), so I think I'll let him know what is going on and leave it open for now. I could maybe try to swap and work more 'locally' all week.

I'm glad I found you all, it's nice to know I'm not alone and we will get through it.

Mama5isalive Fri 12-Aug-11 02:52:00

Hi and welcome Tumblebug - so sorry for your Loss, we have all been there dealing with a loss of our growing ones and all the choices that go with
1. leave and mc naturally which can drag.2. medical help to bring on MC. 3. ERPC op - go in and have a minor op.
all are awful but depending on how you feel want to deal with it all.
But i would just take time off im sure work will understand your body is going through a trauma and you will need time to "heal& deal" i have not worked since 17th June and dont go back till 5th Sept - gp signed me off in a stressful job couldnt cope with all workmates that knew and are still pregnant!!!!!!
i have several close friends and family all very pregnant and due in the next 2 months in a row!!!!! countdown from the end of the month.
I really have gathered real comfort in my "MN Family" and sharing our feelings is great way to healing.
you never mentioned a DH/DP but i really pray you have the support there as i really feel its so important for your emotional state.
Be kind to yourself relax and take it easy- dont stress too much!
and we are all here to talk too!!!!
Ps - most have overcome and are so ready to TTC and holding hands through this also xxxx

MillontheFloss Fri 12-Aug-11 10:04:27

There is a good programme on R4 about miscarriage right now BTW.

I was due Feb 2012 but MC-ing right now.

Mama5isalive Fri 12-Aug-11 10:41:47

Our Stats!!!!!!!

Mama5 - dd17,dd10,ds17mts(ds12,ds6) jan bus -mmc12weeks.
Catsycat - dd3.10, dd18mts; Jan bus -mmc 9 weeks.
Rosalina72 - ds3 feb bus -mmc 9 weeks.
Puzzletree -dsx2 feb bus -mc 9 weeks.
Lemontop -ds21mts;Mar bus-mc 5.5 weeks
Greengoose -DSx2 Mar bus - mc 6 weeks
Freedom2011 -bus Mar - mc 8 weeks.

just thought i would update the stats so we know each others history.
please correct if wrong!!!!!

Hi Millonthfloss - Im so sorry you are here with us( nice way)
I can offer a shoulder and some advice be kind to yourself and talk to DH/DP about your feelings - have you been to the EPU yet???? or spoken to a dr?
i was looking for the programme but maybe missed it ( R4?????)

MillontheFloss Fri 12-Aug-11 13:39:57

Hi Mama5

I spoke to Dr and got a referral to the EPU earlier this week but decided to miscarry naturally as wanted to avoid surgical procedure if poss. Not a lot of action so far though (just like a period) and it's been 11 days! Was 10 wks pg but sac measured 7 wks. I guess everyone's different but I feel like there is more to come IYSWIM! It's a real waiting game isn't it?!

MillontheFloss Fri 12-Aug-11 14:18:24

ps, the Radio 4 thing was just a bit on Women's Hour about a research study being carried out at St. Mary's hospital into predicting the outcome of pregnancies which could miscarry. Worth a listen.

Catsycat Fri 12-Aug-11 15:24:00

Hi tumble and mill. I'm so sorry for your losses - it is such a horrible thing to happen - but glad you found us, and hope we can all continue to support each other. I have found the other women on here so lovely and caring, and they have really helped me through what happened.

I had a mc at 10.5 weeks, after finding out my baby was not developing properly at 9 weeks. I had a pretty traumatic mc with very heavy bleeding, which did come on very suddenly (had enough notice to get to the toilet, that was it). I ended up passed out in the bathroom after 4 hours of heavy bleeding, DH had to call an ambulance to take me to A&E, where I spent the rest of the night. I had an ERPC the following morning to stop me from bleeding. Though my uterus had emptied, the "material" was stuck in my cervix, which had not opened enough and had no way of pushing it all out.

Tumble I would definitely try to take time off until after the mc has completed and you are recovered. I don't work at the moment, but don't feel I could have done with that hanging over me... Some people have said working was a way to take their minds off the mc, which I do understand, but I wouldn't have wanted to be so far from home (or been able to concentrate).

Mill I have heard about that research (think I read an article about it somewhere) and it does sound like useful stuff!

freedom2011 Fri 12-Aug-11 16:28:12

To those who joined this week, tumble, mill I am sorry you are here. I bled for about 5 days, very heavily for 3 of them with pain/cramps and then knew it was time to go to the hospital when a large amount of tissue came out which I recognised as the fluid sack. It wasn't too horrific for me just very very sad.
I wonder why I didn't get a choice of medication or natural completion. They whipped me straight into theatre for a D&C. Someone today asked if I was pregnant as I'd put off a meeting last week with a vague 'I'm ill.' Not wanting to lie I said, I was pregnant, but not anymore. And she said, Oh, I lost my first too, don't worry, after a D&C you're all cleaned out like a virginlady and will find it much easier to be pregnant real quick. Now I have 2 hmm Hope so, but I don't think she is a gynaecologist.

tumblebug Fri 12-Aug-11 22:26:06

Hi Mill sorry you're going through this too.

Back home from holiday now, and started bleeding quite heavily now - cramping and lots of clots. Really glad this didn't happen on the motorway. Feeling miserable, DH lovely and supportive but I guess will never know what it's like. I'm hoping this means everything will happen naturally, but if not wouldn't mind having medical intervention, I think I would prefer it to waiting around for a month.

I texted my colleague (couldn't face a phonecall - older man, lovely but would have been uncomfortable conversation!), and said I might not make it in at the beginning of next week. He was very understanding of course. Due to be on call (from home, never have to go in) so hopefully will still manage that. I'll see how things go over the weekend though. At least I will know where I am when I have my repeat scan on Wednesday. I think I will want to go back to work as soon as I can, it would be a good distraction.

Catsycat and Freedom, both of your stories sound awful I guess I just have to wait and see what happens. At least I'm back in the city now, 10 minutes from the hospital (it took 2 hours from our holiday home to where the EPU was).

Mama one of my work colleagues is very pregnant (and very loud), I never told her I was pregnant but I'm sure she has guessed. Not really looking forward to seeing her, although I don't currently feel jealous of bumps and pregnant women, I hope I'll be one again soon. I guess it's very early and my feelings may change though.

Mama5isalive Sun 14-Aug-11 15:32:41

its gone quiet on here !!!!!!!!!! ( peeps around to see who is still sitting on the bus)
How are you Tumblebug- im hoping your still coping with everything and its calming down now(fingers crossed) i guess only you know what you can handle so be good to you Im glad you have the support from work colleague, that takes work pressure off!
everywhere i look i see bellies but im really fine with it now and praying all goes well with them and they have beautiful healthy babies!
im holding out hope that i will have my own good news and can totally move on and use this experience of loss to help others!

tumblebug Sun 14-Aug-11 19:17:29

Hi Mama, still here! Had really bad day yesterday, bleeding and cramping lots, at one stage like contractions without a break, called the EPU a couple of times to be told all sounded normal, funny how noone tells you in advance how bad it will be, and very little 'official' advice on internet. Today bleeding much less and no pain, but then passed large lump of clot and tissue. Hoping that's it now.

Very close friends came round briefly, was nice being able to talk about it in RL, DH gets a bit squeamish.

Am going to take Monday and tuesday off work, have scan on weds then if all ok and I'm feeling strong enough will go to work on Thursday. Feeling weak and exhausted at the moment though.

Mama, glad you're feeling more positive. I hope I'll look back and see things the same way.

MillontheFloss Sun 14-Aug-11 20:22:47

I'm still here but nothing has changed for me so I can't offer much support to others yet! Still experiencing period like bleeding (12 days now) but no pain and no big lumps. I guess I should be thankful for the lack of pain but would like something to be happening so I can start trying again start to relax and get back to work!

tumblebug Sun 14-Aug-11 21:45:48

Mill, have you been offered a repeat scan? I have one booked on Wednesday (1 week after 1st scan). Was told will probably be offered medical management/ ERPC if not complete. At least then I'll know, and like you say if all done can get on with life.

My local EPU have been really helpful. Are you able to call yours directly and ask about a further scan?

Catsycat Sun 14-Aug-11 21:49:02

Hi people! tumble sorry its been a rough time for you. IME it was so much worse than anything I expected. As you say, I hope that it it for you now, physically.

Mill 12 days is a long time! I hope you are OK (as much as any of us can be under the circs).

mama5, you know already that I hope you get good news soon smile

For myself, I had a positive pg test on Thursday, retested with another make of test and got the same result. Hardle dared let myself believe / hope, and have retested every morning since and had BFNs. AF should have started today but hasn't. Will retest tomorrow (and every flippin' day till I find out what's going on!) but think it might have been a chemical pregnancy sad Just wish I knew for sure, so I could have the day 3 testing done, and hopefully try again next month, or the month after if I need more tests....

Feeling pretty fed up, but trying to look on the bright side - my diet is going well, it was a nice day, and I still have a pulse...

tumblebug Sun 14-Aug-11 21:50:12

Silly phone hadn't finished. Midwife told me for most people it's like a heavy period and a lot of the tissue is reabsorbed. No idea if that's true or not, certainly hasn't been my experience do far, but hopefully that might be the case for you.

Catsycat Sun 14-Aug-11 22:05:23

Like tumble, I was going to say Mill that it might be an idea to get a scan to check nothing is stuck... I know you said you wanted to avoid surgery, but if you do need it, IME it was very easy, painless and quick. I have a proper phobia of medical procedures, especially general anaesthetics, but if I ever (please not) mc again, I would opt for the ERPC without a doubt. It was literally over in a morning, and the blood loss was so much less afterwards, and I felt I could move on knowing the mc was complete.

We buried the remains from my mc today, under the new Viburnum.

rosalina72 Mon 15-Aug-11 11:16:51

Hi everyone. I'm so happy today...I got my AF!! I was really getting down and worried that I hadn't got it as last week as I had all the usual symptoms, one day of spotting then nothing. All the symptoms went away and I felt normal again. So I started thinking that maybe I had Asherman's Syndrome and got myself really worked up about it. Luckily, looks like all is well and it looks like a normal flow. All I can say is what a relief!

Tumble and Mill I hope it all ends soon for you both. And if you are worried about how long it's taking please do go to EPU or AE to get scans and treatment. Good luck to you both.

Catsy hope you do get a BFP soon. Early testing is so unreliable! Maybe just wait until you are a few days late to retest (I know easier said than done!!) That way the hormones have chance to build up. Do you have any pregnancy symptoms?

Catsycat Mon 15-Aug-11 15:27:43

Hi Rosalina. Glad you have AF - it is such a relief when she comes back!

I know you're right about waiting a few days to test - it is so hard though! Still BFN this morning, on the same brand of test I got a + on last week. Symptom-wise I have been weeing constantly (though I just started the Dukan diet and that makes you wee lots too!!!), boobs are quite painful, lots of crampy/bloatedness, especially in the morning. No AF yet, she was due yesterday, and is usually very regular.

I never tested early with DD1 (was about 10 days late) or DD2 (waited till 28 or 29 days after AF), so not sure if I would have had BFPs this early with them. The baby I had my mc with, I didn't get a BFP until 6 days late, having tested early a few times and got BFNs. I am now on day 25 of my 23 day cycle...

Will have to wait and see, and have a big list of distractions jobs to do in the meantime!

Mama5isalive Mon 15-Aug-11 21:37:31

Hi all - Ros72 - yeh and shouts of joy for AF coming for a long over due visit!
let her feel welcome then boot her on her way for your cousin ov-ing to visit!
Tumble - how are you today?
Million - how are you hope the bleeding has stopped now or have you been to see your GP?
CatC- how are you, i cant imagine what your going through with the FBP tests and now the BFN your body is playing games but try not to over think it and hopefully you'll get the result you so much deserve - have everything crossed for u xxx
nothing to report here been quiet and just chilling and enjoying my time with DC5 all the rest have gone to grandma's and out for the day!!!!
nice lunch and then slept a bit - lazy i know but it felt so good!
trying not to rush the days away but so over this week already!!!!!!!!!
just been told work mate is 3 months pregnant and it didnt bother me as much as i thought it would but my friend giving me the heads up so not a complete shock when i see her belly!

tumblebug Mon 15-Aug-11 22:53:12

Hi everyone. Much better day today thanks. Still bleeding, but just like a period now, occasional mild pains but all seems pretty 'normal'. Feeling stronger too, don't have to sit down after every time I climb the stairs.

I went to see my friend and her gorgeous month old baby, and had a lovely cuddle. I wasn't upset at all but I did realise how broody I still am. I have DS at home tomorrow, but DH works form home so will be able to help out if needed. I hope it'll be OK if he isn't difficult and will climb up and down stairs rather than being carried!

Rosalina glad you had a good day too, must be very reassuring,
Catsy thinking of you, must be so stressful, hope you're managing to keep yourself busy.
Mama5 nothing wrong with a lazy day, I've been being as lazy as I can get away with!
Mill how are you getting on? Hope the bleeding's settling down.

Were you all advised to wait for AF before TTC? I was told at EPU we could start any time if we felt ready, no need to wait as can date from a scan.

Catsycat Tue 16-Aug-11 09:15:24

tumble, glad you had a better day yesterday, and are feeling stronger. I was surprised how physically weak I felt for a while afterwards, so it's good when this starts to improve. Hoping DS is being extra lovely for you today!

lemontop Tue 16-Aug-11 09:38:10

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been around for a few days.

MillontheFloss and tumblebug sorry you are having to go through this.
rosalina yay for getting your AF and great to hear you are feeling better
mama glad you are having the chance to relax with your DCS
catsy thinking of you. Really hope it's a BFP for you.

My head's in a bit of a whirl as had been feeling 'a bit funny' so did a PG test yesterday and got a BFP shock. I retested again with a clearblue digital and got 'pregnant 1-2 weeks'. Am totally in shock as hadn't even had my AF back after miscarriage so am keeping everything crossed that this is what I think it is. I had heard that a MC can make you super fertile the month afterwards but my head is full of craziness like it's hormones left over from last time / chemical pregnancy etc. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

Catsycat Tue 16-Aug-11 09:54:30

Hi lemontop. Good news about your BFP! Very happy for you smile

rosalina72 Tue 16-Aug-11 10:01:41

Hooray Lemontop!! Fingers crossed that it's a sticky one! I wish you all the very best!
Catsy, hope you get the BFP too!
Mama, glad you're having some nice relaxing days! You deserve a break.
Tumble, I was told the same as you, that we could try again as soon as we felt emotionally ready. They also said that they usually recommend to try after one normal cycle, mostly for dating purposes. However, I wanted to give my body a chance to heal and I wasn't really ready to try again when I ovulated a couple weeks ago anyway.
I have a question for those who already had their first AF after the erpc...was it normal or heavier than your usual period? Mine is quite a bit heavier than my usual flows. I'm actually feeling a bit weak physically!

Catsycat Tue 16-Aug-11 10:08:26

Hi rosalina. My AF wasn't that heavy, but it was a bit mucousy!!! (Sorry for TMI there!). At the end it also stopped and started a bit, which doesn't usually happen. Hope you're OK - are you taking any vitamins?

Am thinking my AF might be on the way - got another BFN this morning, and my temperature has dropped too, and is now at the level it was during my last AF.

rosalina72 Tue 16-Aug-11 10:25:15

Thanks Catsy. Mine is not mucousy but I have had loads of small clots! Eeek!!!!!!!!!! I didn't really bleed that much after the erpc so maybe it's all coming out now. I guess I'll give it a few days but if it doesn't slow down then I might call my GP.

Sorry you got another BFN again. Don't stress too much yet. Your time will come smile

MillontheFloss Tue 16-Aug-11 11:42:47

tumblebug glad you're feeling better
lemontop congrats!

I have another scan at the EPU today a week after my last one and two weeks after the bleeding started. I don't feel ill and am happy for things to carry on like they are for another week or so as long as there are no surprises to come, ie. intense pain although from what I've read that wouldn't be a huge surprise! Another week of bleeding at this manageable level would be preferable to an ERPC for me but I just want to know things are clearing out as I have only had blood, no tissue or anything 'sac' like. Maybe it's all been reabsorbed or something. I've read that happens. Anyhoo, I'll know for sure in a few hours!

Hope everyone's doing ok today x

Mama5isalive Tue 16-Aug-11 12:43:36

Big fat - congrats to Lemontop - thats wonderful news - positive thinking and feeling = positive results!!!!!!-please stay here with us if you want though Lemontop its wonderful to have some good news aboard and maybe it will spread!!!!
Oh CatsC - im so sorry that things have not improved but still no AF so let just wait and see!
My Af - was not so bad but very painful and surprising but not any clots just stringy bits!!!!! i guess the ERPC really done the whole clean up job! and because of my fears didnt go there in terms of SWI!
Tumble - im so glad your ok and seem to be coping really well, yes its so nice to hold a baby and not get upset but know that you want to try again thats good and healthy! well done ( i luv baby smell)
but im feeling so much better in myself and am looking forwards to all the wonderful things life has in store for me!!!!!!
looking forwards to moving ohhhhhhhhh so cant wait more space and a fresh start is so whats needed! today looks dull but no rain as yet!

tumblebug Tue 16-Aug-11 14:07:43

Lemontop, great news! Really hope it all goes well for you!
Mama5, when are you moving? We have (hopefully) sold our house, but nowhere to go yet, when I'm feeling better we'll have to start house hunting again. It all sounds like a lot of work at the moment.
Mill, good luck today, hope it's all being reabsorbed (but it's just good to know what's happening and what to expect).
Rosalina, I'm not sure at the moment if I'll feel ready to TTC immediately either, as I'm just looking forward to feeling back to normal and having a few glasses of wine for now (bottle is in the fridge, maybe tonight's the night!). Not sure DH is that keen at the moment either, I think it's all been a bit messy for him! I might feel differently next week though.
Catsy DS is being great so far today thanks (wouldn't quite say cooperative, but generally lovely and quiet and been entertaining himself quite a bit). DH has also been helping out when he can, it's great having him at home.

I'm having another good day, felt a bit ropey this morning, but getting better as the day goes on. Have even done some tidying in the kitchen and got some washing in (still a bit chaotic from holiday). Bleeding very light now. Bump completely gone (was quite pronounced a week ago), and even weigh 3lb less than when I got pregnant. I haven't had much appetite in the last week, although am managing to eat normally now.
Off to EPU tomorrow (MIL coming to look after DS so DH can come too), hoping for an empty uterus and a BFN. Never thought I'd say that!

rosalina72 Tue 16-Aug-11 15:03:46

Tumble, glad you're having a good day today and each day will be easier and easier (for the most part).
I had a bit of a wobble on the weekend. I was tidying up some paperwork and came across all my bloods request forms, antenatal appt and scan results. I just sat there frozen and I couldn't bring myself to throw them away. I feel like if I throw them out there's nothing to acknowledge that this pregnancy even existed. I felt really sad.

I suppose I will throw them away one day but maybe it's too soon.

MillontheFloss Tue 16-Aug-11 16:23:49

Thanks for advice about getting another scan tumblebug and catsycat. Went today and the scan showed that the sac is still in there but is smaller. Be away with you damned sac!

Apparently the miscarriage can take up to six weeks to finish itself naturally shock I'll give it another week and then maybe consider the ERPC.

rosalina I know what you mean about coming across maternity paperwork. Maybe file them somewhere. I don't want to throw mine away just yet either.

Mama5isalive Tue 16-Aug-11 17:49:26

ahhhhh good luck for a negative result at the EPU Tumble!!!!!! glad your getting through! yes when your ready TTC - I pray it will work out for u x
We should be moving 2nd week of september!!!! so excited looking forwards to having our on suite!!!!!!!!! no kids zone!!!!
ahhh Mill - i really hope the sac will go real soon so you can heal and move on!

Catsycat Tue 16-Aug-11 20:05:25

Glad everyone seems to be moving on and making progress! Good luck for tomorrow tumble! Mill, sorry you still have the sac there. I just felt the waiting didn't help me to move on, and I did feel much better after the ERPC. Hopefully it will come away / be reabsorbed very soon, since it's smaller.

rosalina, when I can bear it, I'm going to make a book with all my stuff from the pg. I had some nice e-mails from friends, a photo and report from the private scan (just a void really, but all I have), my hospital bracelet etc. I've been meaning to make memory books for the 2 DDs for ages, so will be a similar thing. Also, when I mc, I wanted to explain what happened and why we were sad to DD1, but DH didn't agree, so in the end we didn't tell her (I regret this, because I think she would have understood and instead she was confused and a bit worried). I would like to be able to explain to her and her sister when they are older, maybe if the subject comes up sometime, and it would be nice to have the things in a book to show her.

If I can possibly manage it, I might not bother testing again tomorrow morning! AF hasn't shown up yet today, so maybe lowered temperature was due to sleeping in a cold draught <grasps wildly at straws>.

Catsycat Tue 16-Aug-11 23:12:21

AF has just shown up, damn the stupid witch. So it was just a chemical pg after all. I'm glad I didn't let myself believe this was going to work out, but I'm still gutted. It just confirms all my fears about a LPD. Will phone the doctor in the morning and arrange for the day 3 blood tests.

puzzletree Wed 17-Aug-11 09:11:23

Hey catsy thought I'd find you on here too. So so sorry that the BFP didn't stick sad, I know you weren't convinced it'd work out but once you see that BFP I'm sure you can't help but think ahead, and after the miscarriage as well. Thinking of you. I hope the blood tests rule out a problem and it's just a case of trying again.

lemontop Wed 17-Aug-11 12:51:52

catsy really sorry you didn't get a BFP.

I tested again this morning, got a BFN and bit of bleeding so looks like mine was a chemical too. Stupid bloomin mother nature. Grrrr.

I think I will give TTC a break for a while and just enjoy and be grateful for my lovely DS.

tumblebug Wed 17-Aug-11 14:09:06

catsy and lemontop, so sorry.
Mill 6 weeks does sound a long time, hope it's all over much more quickly.

Scan this morning showed a small amount of tissue and clots, but nearly gone - but I should expect more bleeding (but shouldn't be too heavy or painful). However no further intervention required, so that's a relief.

I was told to take at least another week off work. A bit of a relief really, as I don't think I could manage going back tomorrow, and at least now I feel less guilty as it doesn't feel like my decision any more.

Catsycat Wed 17-Aug-11 15:12:48

Thanks for being kind, everyone.

tumble I'm glad you don't need any further treatment.

lemontop, I'm really sorry this has happened to you too, it is just too horrible.

I had a bit of blood on wiping last night, which was why I thought AF had come, also feel crampy, and temp on my chart has gone low. But this morning there was nothing - phoned and made the appointment for the tests, thinking it would definitely start in earnest this morning, but still nothing. Really worried now - I never get spotting before a period, I'm never more than a day late. If I don't have the blood tests on friday, then I can't have them till next cycle as I'm not around next week. So that'll mean another wasted cycle before we can try again. I just feel completely panicked, and totally let down by my stupid body.

Will try to go to the doctors tomorrow, but my usual GP has been on holiday for a couple of weeks, and isn't back till the 25th, so will have to see someone who is just relying on my notes.

So glad and grateful that you are all here to listen - I feel like you are the only people who understand.

rosalina72 Wed 17-Aug-11 15:58:38

Catsy and Lemontop so sorry this is happening to you. Would you be able to call your GP and ask them to send you to the EPU to get a blood test to confirm the pregnancy/or chemical pregnancy? I just think under the circumstances, you shouldn't have to go through all this worry and upset.

Tumble, glad to hear you don't need any more treatment. Hopefully it's almost over.

rosalina72 Wed 17-Aug-11 16:37:02

Catsy, I forgot to mention that I like your idea of the memory book with all your pregnancy stuff. I feel a bit bad that I never did anything for my first. I was in so much shock and I was naive. I didn't have a clue about mc. All these years and I still think about what could have been, I catch myself wondering what they would have looked like, what they would have been like, etc. And it's been 14 years!!
I think I will do something to mark this one and the other one too. I think it will help me move on properly.

Catsycat Wed 17-Aug-11 20:39:41

Hi rosalina. I think I will go to see one of the other GPs tomorrow - there is a nice female GP there who always gives you as much time as you need. Another of the male GPs is a gynae specialist, but seriously after I'd seen him for 2 minutes he was shooing me towards the door last time, really unsubtley - I was still asking him something at the time too!

I had thought of phoning the EPU nurse at Warwick, as I have her mobile number and she has pretty much said I can phone when I need her. But I don't know there'd be anything visible yet on a transvaginal scan, as I'd be not even 4 weeks yet with my stupid 23 day cycle (am on day 27 which is unheard of since DD1's birth). Even DH doesn't think I've gone mad now! Still no AF and no more spotting - will have to phone the GP to cancel the tests I booked at this rate. Why is everything so complicated??? confused

Glad you liked the idea of the memory book, btw. smile

How are you travelling lemontop? Do you have a full on AF now (hope you don't mind me asking such a personal question BTW)? I hope you are OK.

lemontop Thu 18-Aug-11 07:44:32

Hi Catsy. Yeah it's full on AF now. I was really upset yesterday but actually quite relieved today that I know for sure and that it didn't turn into more of a 'proper' pregnancy if you know that I mean. Hope you find out what is going on soon.

tumblebug Thu 18-Aug-11 12:26:38

Catsy, it all sounds really stressful. I hope you manage to see the GP and they're helpful.

Hope everyone else is having an OK day.
DS is back at nursery, I miss him but trying to entertain him for 2 days without going anywhere or doing anything has been really hard. So far I've had a really lazy morning, and feeling loads better for it. Bleeding is really light now - of course after the scan yesterday I'm worried that I'm not bleeding enough!

Thanks everyone for being here to chat, it has made such a difference being able to talk about all of this.

lemontop Thu 18-Aug-11 13:14:53

tumblebug hope the lighter bleeding means it will be over for you soon.

I went to see the doc today as my forehead has randomly swollen up with what I think is about 8 mosquito bites really close to each other. I look terrible! While I was there I chatted to her about the miscarriage and chemical pregnancy. She said she would encourage me to just keep trying and thought it was probably just bad luck. She also said if I get pregnant again I should go and see her straight away to confirm it as there are 'things they can do', which sounds ominous but positive.

I am not sure what to do. Part of me thinks we should take a break from TTC but speaking to the doc makes me think we should just get on with it. I might have to convince DH. It's been such a summer of bad luck. I'm almost looking forward to going back to work on Monday and seeing the end of it!

Catsycat Thu 18-Aug-11 13:27:59

Hi tumble it sounds like things are going in the right direction for you, which is great.

lemontop, sorry about what is happening. i wonder if your GP meant something like putting you on Cyclogest? Hope your forehead is OK.

I have no clue what is happening now. No more bleeding, since the spotting on monday night. I had a really faint + this morning, so I was completely freaked out and went to the GP. She was really nice, but did another test (not with fmu though) and of course that was -. I said was it a chemical pregnancy (I want it on my medical record in case it happens again), and she said the tests could not have been + , it must have been a faulty batch giving false positives. On three different makes of test hmm???? I showed her my chart, and she agreed on a 23 day cycle that would make ov very late on. I showed her the temp dropping on the chart a couple of days ago, and she agreed if I was pg it should have stayed high. I asked what was going on, and what I should do next, and she said I was probably just getting my normal period, and not to retest or worry unless I don't get AF for another 2 weeks!!!!! So basically a bit of a wasted morning. sad

puzzletree Thu 18-Aug-11 14:38:20

Catsy wow, how confusing. I guess you do just have to wait this out a while longer and see what happens. Maybe all the recent stress and hormone craziness has messed up your cycle a bit. Or maybe just maybe you are pregnant after all..? Hang on in there x

Catsycat Thu 18-Aug-11 15:34:51

And I am so bad at waiting! You probably noticed. I have a bit of a rep with my antenatal class friends of being a bit impatient / perfectionist / generally high maintenance. So this is basically driving me nuts! Have put a post on the conception board to see if anyone has had similar.

BTW, re my last rather abrupt post about cyclogest, a good friend had a mc before her DC1, and when she was pg again went to the GP, and he gave her cyclogest with no other reason than previous mc (she hadn't had any tests / exams to show she particularly needed it). He said it would help the baby implant better and make her uterus more "lush"! She does indeed have a healthy 4 year old now! Probably should have explained that, rather than just throw the suggestion out there like that (wasn't implying there was anything wrong with you or anything!!!!).

Catsycat Thu 18-Aug-11 17:18:24

Sorry, forgot to put that the second bit of that post was aimed at lemontop!!! Am definitely losing it today.

lemontop Thu 18-Aug-11 20:44:10

catsycat sorry you still have no answers. It must be doing your head in.

The doc didn't go into details but was really supportive and was keen for me to come and see her as soon as I find out I'm PG. I hadn't heard of Cyclogest, but yeah I imagine it would be to give me something like that. She also said she would refer me to a recurrent miscarriages clinic if I have another one sad but generally just told me to get on with it and was all 'third time lucky!'

Catsycat Thu 18-Aug-11 21:21:11

Glad your doc is nice and supportive lemontop. Hopefully when my GP comes back from his hols, I'll be able to talk to him and get whatever this is put on my record properly! It is completely doing my head in... just spent the whole day on MN or Dr Google rather than doing the cleaning. What a waste of a day (really p***ed off with myself!!).

philbee Fri 19-Aug-11 20:19:39

Hi all. I know i am rubbish and only turn up when i need something. Tbh i've been trying to not think about the mc and just get on with other stuff so this thread is both a comfort and a bit hard for me. But have a few worries atm and hoping someone can advise if poss please.

I've had first AF now, and all normal, finished after about 5 days. But a day or so after that DH and i had a bit of ahem in the evening, although no actual you know what (I know there are acronyms etc for all this but i can't remember them). Then i had bad cramps in the night as i was dealing with waking child, and bleeding came back, very light, for a few days. Is this normal?

My tummy is also still pretty big, despite my losing weight over rest of my body and exercising a fair amount. I was 12 wks at mc, and that was about 7 wks ago. Am hoping it's just fat, but a friend said her friend had an mc and swollen tummy and it was retained stuff from being pg and she haemorrhaged months later. So am feeling a bit worried about that too. That's it. Again, sorry to only come with questions. blush

puzzletree Fri 19-Aug-11 20:53:57

Philbee, good to hear from you but sorry you're feeling worried. This is the place to share your worries so don't feel bad about that!
Do you get a BFN on preg test? And do you feel ok otherwise?
The period I just had post-MC was pretty normal except it was weirdly mucousy, and I'm still pretty flabby of tummy. Sorry if this is too personal, but how old are you? My friend and I, we're 34 and 35 were just saying how we seem to have developed bellies now that just won't go away. We're both slim and have gone back to pretty flat tummies after full-term pregnancies, but think age has now caught up with us and belly wobble is hard to shift!
However I didn't get extra bleeding or cramps which are a bit concerning. Will be interesting to hear what the others have experiencd.
Don't panic unless you start feeling unwell (ie possible infection) but I'd get it checked out even though it's probably just your body settling down again; go see your gp on monday or ring the EPU.
Take care of yourself

philbee Fri 19-Aug-11 21:42:00

Thanks puzzletree. I'm 34, and i always had a bit of a belly, even at my fittest. If i pull my tummy in the muscles do pull in, and then there's just fat over the top, so i guess if there was something wrong the muscles wouldn't pull in confused? My period was also weirdly mucousy, although i didn't think much of it.

I've not done a pg test, couldn't really face it and didn't seem necessary as last scan only showed blood left and i stopped bleeding about a week later, so it seemed to be done really. I think I'll call the EPU and ask them, and hopefully they'll just say it's normal and i won't have to go and see anyone. Thank you, that's reassured me.

Catsycat Fri 19-Aug-11 21:44:04

Hi philbee. I did get a tiny bit more bleeding about a day after AF had stopped, just very light spotting for a couple of days, but no cramps. I also had a mucousy first AF. I have a very fat belly anyway, especially after 2 CS, so can't really help with that side, I'm afraid (I've been looking pg for years). I felt any extra pg belly went down after a couple of weeks, but I had only just been starting to show anyway.

I would have thought an infection would make you feel ill - do you have a temperature at all, or is your belly tender to the touch? Like puzzletree says, I would phone the EPU or see your GP next week just to check it out. I have been to the GP and phoned EPU several times following my mc, as it is a worrying time.

Hope you can get some reassurance soon. Take care.

Mama5isalive Fri 19-Aug-11 22:34:31

Hi all - Tumblebug im so glad that treatment is not needed and that you can begin to heal and move on one day at a time, rest from work is good.
Rosalina- memory box is good, i dont have much to put in t apart from letters about a scan and midwife notes. hope you find a nice way for you to mark your memories no matter how much time has passed.
Lemontop- sorry for you your AF turning up, you seem to be dealing with it well, i hope all goes well for you and over very soon.
Philbee - no real answers took ages for me to feel i could do anything with dh!
i agree with others talk to EPU or Gp to get some peace of mind!
lol - on subject of flat bellies haha whats that! i aint been flat since mid 20's went a bit pear shaped size 12 after dc2 then with dc3 upto size 14/16!!!!!!
but wouldnt mind but its a constant reminder that im not pregnant so no excuses not to get fit or die trying!

tumblebug Fri 19-Aug-11 23:33:12

Hi! Tried to do a bit more today - had a haircut (she dried it straight - first time ever I think - hardly recognise myself) then went to see a couple of houses. Couldn't believe how tired I was after -was starting to feel guilty again about time off work, but realise again that I couldn't manage it yet. Went to bed early with headache then phone rang -work couldn't get hold of colleague covering me, really urgent, could I help? really complex problem, ended up turning on computer so thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing! (Sorry whinge over now). Still getting stronger every day and bleeding down to spotting now.

philbee yes would expect pain/ fever/ generally feeling unwell if infection (but if miscarriage incomplete would put you at risk). I was advised at EPU to do a repeat pg test a week after bleeding stops, and that it would still be positive if any pregnancy tissue remained (and to contact them in that situation). Would a BFN reassure you over the weekend? MIght be worth checking if you could face it. The EPU have been really helpful when I have called for advice - agree that it's worth calling them.

Re the tummy thing - I've always had a bit of a tummy too, more since DS, but had a definite bump last week (was it really only last week?), all gone now - I guess loss of tissue and hormones. (I'm 33). I'm a bit worried how I'll react if anyone comments I've 'lost weight'.

Catsy any news today? hope you're feeling OK. I know what you mean about waiting - when I was told to wait a week before pg test and TTC i thought a week sounded such a long time! Difficult to have perspective when I just want to be pregnant again. Lemontop, convincing DH... maybe best not to let him think about it too much, I'm sure there are ways!!! (Only joking, but my DH doesn't seem so sure either. When we first found out I was miscarrying on the scan our immediate reaction was 'we'll try again', but we didn't realise at the time how physically difficult it would be).

Mama5 hope you're still having a good week, have you started packing up the house yet? A job I'm not looking forward to...

While writing this have had another work call! But sounds like I'm covered for almost all of the weekend now, so that should help.

Mama5isalive Sat 20-Aug-11 17:34:00

Hi Tumblebug - yehhhhh new haircut, booooo work bothering you!!!!!!!
went out looking for new sofa's and wardrobes and tv units ahhhhhhh its doin my head in its just not fun also need to put loads in storage so the whole moving goes better! i now wished i could hire staff!!!!!!!
was suppose to go to a Baby shower today but really cant face it! do you think thats silly? my DH couldnt understand seeing that all our friends and family will be there but its just too soon! i guess would be feeling better if i was still or was now newly pregnant! i know i would be having something to look forwards too but all that seem so far right now! whingeeeeeeeeee old fart!!!!! yeh feel so bbbbbbbbbbblllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
along with my cramps hav back ache now!!!!!! great!!!!!!

Catsycat Sun 21-Aug-11 09:06:31

Hi everyone. Well, no different news here. Day 31 of my 23 day cycle!!!!! Still a bit of spotting, but literally it is once or twice a day just on the TP, every day since Monday. Just brown spotting, but the last lot yesterday was a bit more - I thought AF was definitely here, but then it had stopped next time I went to the loo. Then I wondered if the spotting had been a bit more because I had been standing up for nearly 3 hours doing the ironing (grrrrr!). Had quite a bad stomach ache yesterday, and was feeling quite hot, also had to lie down again in the morning as I was really tired, but I have got a hideous throat at the moment, which has given me stomach ache in the past, so hard to tell if it has anything to do with AF / lack thereof. Have had + and - tests yesterday and today (2 + and 1 - yesterday, all from same sample; and 1 + and 1 prob - (very very very faint line????) this morning from the same sample). I'm going to need a bank loan for all the PTs. There definitely seems to be some HcG coming from somewhere, as the tests are picking up something, but they aren't really getting any darker than a week ago, so that can't be good. Temp chart is still at post ov high levels, not dropped down again to AF low. The low temp blip on monday is looking more like an implantation dip as time goes on. I really do feel that I am / have been pg, but that it will be an early mc and am just waiting... sad

mama5, I do love shopping for furniture, but I know what you mean - when you HAVE to do it, it is a bit less fun! Hope everything is going well in preparation for the move (can remember how stressful it all was from 4 1/2 years ago when we moved!!). I can understand the baby shower being less than fun at the moment - completely understandable! Hopefully you will have your own good news soon, and everything will get easier in that department.

tumble are you a fellow curly like me then? smile Glad you are feeling stronger. Hope your work stuff was sorted out fairly quickly, and they stopped bothering you! I know I wasn't back up to full strength till a couple of weeks ago (probably still not, but am strong enough to fake it most of the time). Though I'm not working at the moment, I know I couldn't have done yet.

tumblebug Sun 21-Aug-11 23:19:25

Catsy how confusing, hope you're ok and not too upset - when you just need a bit of normality.

Yes I'm a curly, washed it yesterday so back to my normal self, bit short but will grow.

Mama5 not silly at all, if you can't face the baby.shower no reason you should go, you wouldn't feel comfortable so wouldn't enjoy it. You're doing well with the furniture looking before you've even moved, we never got most of the furniture we planned to for this house, been here 4 years!

Saw another house today, really nice but with reservations. Been working a bit but v quiet, will do a bit from home next couple of days to ease myself into it and relieve guilt (know I shouldn't feel guilty really), then go back fully on Thursday. Why does it take so much out of you? Must be hormones I guess as main pain, bleeding etc was a week ago.

rosalina72 Mon 22-Aug-11 10:10:51

Hi Catsy, it sounds like you're pregnant. If I were you I would try to get a blood test to confirm the pregnancy and check hormone levels. Couldn't you call your docs and ask them to refer you to the EPU not for a scan as it's too early but for a blood test? I don't think you should get too down and already expect the mc. What makes you feel it's a miscarriage? The usual pregnancy tests may be too insensitive to pick up on the pregnancy as it's early. The spotting is sometimes normal in some pregnancies too. Maybe it's old blood from the d&c?

Bottom line is, you're worried and you should get a confirmation about what is happening to put your mind at rest.

Hope you get some answers soon!! Wishing you lots of luck! x

philbee Mon 22-Aug-11 21:05:05

Hi all. Catsy - so sorry you've still not had any definite answers, it sounds like a very hard time. I hope you get proper confirmation either way soon (well, I hope it's good news, of course).

Thanks for all your advice. I've got no bleeding, pain, temp, so it's def. not an infection. I can't face a PT, so will just sit tight and think it was my cycle settling down. Thinking about it, the cramps could also have been trapped wind, and they weren't bad enough to wake me up and were gone by morning, so I figure everything's ok.

Tumble - glad you are feeling better. I had a haircut the day I found out I'd had a mmc. It was booked, and I figured if I was going to go through a horrendous physical and emotional ordeal it would seem marginally better if my hair wasn't so disastrous. It was the right decision, but very strange sitting there chatting about holidays etc. without saying anything about what was really going on.

lemontop Wed 24-Aug-11 09:33:42

Hi all

Just popping by to say a quick hello. Remember me telling you about my mosquito bite? Well, it got infected, my whole forehead, nose and cheeks swelled up so I could hardly see out of my eyes-am on very strong antibiotics which are making me feel a bit rubbish but seem to be sorting the swelling.

I went back to work on Monday so am pretty busy. I was worried about going back to work but it's actually been a good distraction as was starting to get all miserable again towards the end of the holiday about miscarriage, chem preg, stupid swollen head...... I was so worried how I would react when people asked me about my holiday, but thanks to me having a giant scar on my forehead, that's all people want to talk about!

hope you are all OK catsy really hope you get an answer soon

tumblebug Wed 24-Aug-11 19:56:10

Hi! Feeling do much better now, think all the hormones have settled down. Going back to work tomorrow, quite looking forward to it as been feeling a bit stuck at home although it's going to be a busy day. I've been doing some work from home last few days to ease myself back in, with holiday and sick leave feel like I've been away for ages. Tough day today - didn't sleep well tonight and think DS has hit terrible 2's (is that 22 months?!), lying on the floor screaming every time he didn't want to do something - which was frequently.

Still spotting, now just brown, had spotting (not much blood) for about a week now. Did any of you have this? How long did it last? I know I was told I might bleed for 4 weeks, but getting fed up now.

Hope you're all getting on OK.

Lemontop, swollen head sounds horrid (but good distraction), not sure what I'll tell everyone at work, guess I hope they won't ask and it's none of their business!

Philbee glad you're feeling OK now. Know what you mean about haircut, she suggested I go out to show off my straight hair, I just chuckled.

Mama5isalive Sat 27-Aug-11 23:28:51

ohhhhhhhhhh lemontop - thats sounds awful - those bloody blood suckers are flipping awful! i cant see a positive in them and wished they could be wiped off the earth!!!!!!!! had a few in my bedroom and also my ds19mnt been bitten on his forehead so now before i put him down i go round shaking the curtains and disturbing the places they can be hiding! people cant believe it when i tell them ive been bitten more here then when im away on hols!!!!!!!
Tumble - the thing is its really hard to tell when the bleeding will stop, but hope it will soon for you - be good to you xxx
catsycat - how are you doing?????????
its gone quiet on here, though a few are on other threads!
i do pray we get our happy ever after endings we all deserve it!

MillontheFloss Sun 28-Aug-11 14:58:51

Been away for a bit- madness at work and not much to report MC wise. Think it may all be over although I haven't passed anything like the sac. Haven't bled for 4 days now and did three preg tests over the last two days (cheapies from poundtime) which were negative (i think, although a second incredibly faint line showed up which would indicate positive). Hope it's all over- everything feels back to normal.

Hope everyone else is over the worst.

Mama5isalive Mon 29-Aug-11 17:44:41

MTF - Im so glad that your bleeding has stopped and that your feeling better in yourself, be kind to yourself there is no rush for you to spring back like the lst weeks has not happened - hope to see a positive end to this real soon xxx
well just coming out of my 2nd AF since MMC and so im hoping that the ov-ing signs will be as strong as i thought they where last month! so i can start to TTC and hopefully have a good end to this story!
sharing in others BFP is quite nice and im very happy for them!

MillontheFloss Wed 31-Aug-11 16:16:13

Unbelievable! My MC started a month ago. Have had no bleeding for a week and an (almost) negative pregnancy test so assumed it was all over. A scan today has informed me otherwise. The damned pregnancy sac is still in there! Probably gonna have to have the ERPC which annoys the hell out of me as I've entrusted the last month to mother nature. Just wanted to vent! Argh!!!

Catsycat Wed 31-Aug-11 20:52:47

Hi everyone. Sorry I've not been around for a bit - we decided to go away for a bit to visit my parents then house sit for them for a few days.

On day 32 of my 23 day cycle, I started properly bleeding, after 8 days of spotting. It was heavier than usual for one or two days, and quite clotty and stringy (sorry, TMI!) which is unusual for me. I can't see my usual GP till next Thursday as he is now on extended leave after being on hols for most of August. I was away for day 3 of the bleed (which was when I needed the hormone blood tests - obviously I had no idea when/if the bleeding would start). I phoned the EPU midwife today, and she confirmed it was a chemical pregnancy.

Smarting a bit, as I managed to lose two pgs in two months, which is an acheivement I never wanted! The only good thing was a) the cp was absolutely nowhere near as bad as the mc emotionally or physically (partly because I didn't let myself believe the + POAS results), an b) at least I am ovulating and conceiving even if it didn't stick.

The conception board is a bit too agonizing for me ATM, so will lurk here till I feel better. sad

Am going to see my GP next thursday and see if he can do any tests this month (particularly the progesterone test), and DH wants to give TTC a miss this month until I have had the tests done.

I'm so desperate to have one last baby. It just seems so impossible right now.

Mill sorry to here your mc isn't complete - when do you decide / find out if you'll definitely be having the ERPC? If it does come down to it, honestly I am the biggest baby about anything medical, and I really didn't find it bad at all. It was a relief to have it over with TBH...

puzzletree Wed 31-Aug-11 21:57:00

Hello everyone, not been on for a while either, just catching up.

Mama thanks for keeping us all going so positively, love your posts!

MillontheFloss sorry it's taking so long for you, hope everything works out ok.

Catsy so so sorry that it turned out to be a cp sad , hope the investigations can be done quickly and give you some results, hopefully reassurance that all is well and you're just having a run of really bad luck. It must be so tough waiting in limbo though sad.

I've just ducked out of the conception boards too, AF seems to be arriving for me now so no May baby. Thought it would have arrived on monday and am actually really angry that it's still just the tiniest amount of spotting as I'm going away tomorrow to a festival that lasts all weekend. Festival camping with full-on AF is not my idea of fun. It's also our second time away ever without the kids and I'd been hoping for some cosy time with DP. Grr.. at least I can get drunk I suppose (think positive!).

Hope the rest of you are getting on ok? Anyone else TTC again? I might try and be more relaxed about it this month, but it's easier to say than do....

MillontheFloss Thu 01-Sep-11 12:38:14

Booked in for ERPC. So much for letting nature takes its course! Feel like I've wasted the last month managing it naturally when I could have had the ERPC straight away. Could be TTC right now (well maybe not right now!)

Sorry about the CP Catsy. It will happen.

Puzzle, camping with AF will be fine. In fact my last AF before this conception coincided with a camping trip!

SESthebrave Thu 01-Sep-11 13:14:46

Hello! Can I join you?

I was on the Jan2012 thread but unfortunately suffered a mc. As it was my 3rd mc (I had 2 mmc before having my 2yo DS), the "products" (nasty term!) were sent off for testing. I've had a letter back this morning saying that the tests showed a normal female karyotype but they would recommend some blood tests for me and DH. Great news at the "normal" but it did make me think again about the baby I lost - especially now I know it was a little girl as that gives me something of the baby's identity IYKWIM.

Has anyone else had experience of these tests? Does anyone know what the blood tests may be?

We've decided to keep trying as age is not our side - DH is 40 and I'm 38. Hoping for some SWI over the next few days!

Sorry to see others here in similar situations. Hope that we can see eachother through the coming weeks and months into happier times.

tumblebug Thu 01-Sep-11 22:43:21

Hi SESthebrave so sorry for your loss. Welcome though. Lots of lovely ladies here, so supportive and going through similar experiences.

This was my first MC (3 weeks ago) so we haven't had any tests - just told probably bad luck and hope for better luck next time. Finding out your baby was a girl must have been really emotional. I never really thought of this pregnancy as a baby (natural pessimist, and somehow didn't feel right) and I think that's the only way I've really held myself together emotionally. Good news all normal though.

Sorry I disappeared for a bit - been so busy! Started back at work on Thursday, had a night out planned ages ago (ex-colleague's leaving do). Ended up drinking way too much, lovely dinner but got home after midnight (can't remember when that last happened!) and felt rather tired the next day! Then MIL had a huge 2 day party over the weekend, was lovely but so busy, I kept having to sneak off to bed. At least DS had loads of people to play with / look after him so I did get some rest and lie-ins. Was a bit bemused when a couple of people I hardly know approached me and said they were sorry to hear and was I feeling a bit better? They were really sweet about it so I didn't really mind, but I did wonder how many other people knew but weren't saying anything, then feeling guilty cos I haven't told SIL's (didn't really seem necessary) but then maybe they know anyway?

DH was away for work last night, had all of yesterday with DS (love my days off, but he woke up at 6am - v unusual fortunately, I tried to resettle him, all ended in a 45 minute tantrum all before 7.30).Then he got hold of my glasses and bent them out of shape. Then I had to get DS up this morning and take him to nursery - usually DH does this due to my huge commute, can't wait to move closer to work, but another tantrum wasn't a good start to the day! Then was just tired and distracted all day.

House sale moving on, still nowhere to go so worrying about that too, and will have to find a new nursery for DS.

So now really tired, still have to change bedsheet as DS spilt water everywhere, better get going I guess!

Still more tired than normal, and a bit fed up, everything just feels like a lot of work. Still spotting v lightly - light brown now, not a problem but really want it to stop, want my BFN and then TTC again - really feel time is moving on and want to be pregnant again. (actually really looking forward to the SWI too!!! Guess that's my hormones getting back to normal!). Also worried that MC won't complete, and will end up with ERPC anyway.

Mill poor you, must be so frustrating. Good luck with the ERPC, at least then you'll know it's all done. Waiting for things to happen naturally there was always a chance it wouldn't work, but it might have done - you would never have known. 4 weeks feels like such a long time at the moment but it isn't really. (I'm trying to tell myself that!).

Catsy sorry about the CP. I had something really similar while TTC last time - AF started with spotting for 5 days before heavier bleed. Wasn't late though, so never did PT, so Ill never know. next month got PG with DS though - hopefully it'll happen for you really soon.

Puzzletree have a great time at the festival, I'm sure AF won't spoil it (although annoying interfering with 'cosy time'!). And you can drink beer!

Mama5 good luck with TTC.

Oops such a long post, think I just needed a moan sorry!

Mama5isalive Fri 02-Sep-11 11:27:45

Welcome SES - i remember you from the same thread i was on so glad you have come to join us!Hope your feeling stronger!
lets hope sharing and going through this journey will help us all move on and have a wonderful happy ending! x

knittymum23 Mon 05-Sep-11 12:53:06


I was on the April 2012 thread, had an ERPC last Thursday and am just sitting around recouperating/trying to feel normal again at home - I have one DD aged 2 who is at nursery today (and thankfully was last Thursday and Friday too), and things are slowly getting back to normal again. I'd had a previous miscarriage before DD was conceived (so this is my second overall).

I also had what was taken for testing - am hoping I don't get a letter like you did SESthebrave - that sounds too upsetting, I think I've done the same, not made 'it' a person so I can deal with it all better. Time will tell, I guess... I had no idea what they'd do with the results.

We're going to try again later in the year. I was hoping for 2 kids by the time I was 42 but that's not happening now - but I think we need the break to be ready for it all again - and annoyingly I had gestational diabetes immediately (rather than at 20-something weeks) so I think we need to make some major lifestyle changes before we do anything again (not that our diet was bad, we just need to be better).

A question for other ladies who've had an ERPC - did you have an ache, a bit like someone poking a needle into your kind-of-bladder area? Painkillers help, and I'm guessing it's just everything going back to 'normal' again- so just picking your brains.. it's not a bad pain, but if it does get worse I'll call the doctor.

Mama5isalive Mon 05-Sep-11 19:00:11

Ohhhh Knittymum23 so sorry for your losses! but so glad you have found us this is a thread so you can vent, share, cyber cry, cyber shout etc!!!
I had a ERPC but really cant remember the feeling after i was abit numb and was crying alot!!!!! last Thursday is still so early and so if you feel the pains are too much then def contact the erpc unit they may have to give you something stronger, i never had too use my painkillers. and was surprised that my bleeding stopped within a few days! and my AF came back in July! im not sure about my cycle but am on 29/30days rather then 28 but fingers crossed wont see it this month due to me TTC! have endless friends around me pregnant and im happy for them but still very sad for me! ps - i never did any tests for me personally i think it would of hurt to much!
hope everyone else is well xxx

Catsycat Mon 05-Sep-11 21:51:27

Hi SES and Knitty, and welcome. Sorry that you have had to join us, but glad you found us!

SES, I also have no experience of testing, as I thankfully only had the one mc. It sounds upsetting to find out the sex of your baby, though in an odd way, I think I might have been comforted as well to have had one of the questions about the baby answered - there are so many things I'll never know about how the baby would have turned out.

Knitty, I had a bladder infection from the catheterisation during the ERPC. Have you noticed if you need the loo more often? I really needed to go a lot and felt a kind of pressure all the time (sorry if TMI). It might be worth a trip to the GP - a 3 day course of antibiotics sorted it out. Take a urine sample with you if possible, as they can check it during the consultation if it's what I had. Re. the diabetes, a friend of mine had this during her 3rd pg, and she is one of the most sensible eaters I know - she was just rather unlucky.

Tumble I have lots of days like that. DD was a royal pest today - people in town thought she was funny. I didn't!

Hope ttc has gone well mama5!

Puzzle how was the festival? Hope AF wasn't too troublesome!

SESthebrave Mon 05-Sep-11 22:33:29

Thanks for the welcomes and support.

Knitty - sorry for your mc and ERPC. Last Thursday is still so recent, make sure you give yourself time for yourself and to vent/cry. I can't remember that sort of pain after any of mine. I think Catsycat is right and if it persists, I'd go and see your GP to get checked out. It could be a water infection which could be cleared up easily enough.

Mama5 - I'm also hoping that I won't see AF again any time soon. However due to DH being away, we only managed SWI once at any useful time - day before ovulation. I'm only 2dpo so a long wait yet! When is your AF due?

Hello tumble, Catsycat, Puzzle and anyone else I've missed.

knittymum23 Tue 06-Sep-11 10:27:39

thanks ladies, and thanks for the welcomes too, am at home today with DD (I don't work on Tuesdays anyway), and she's such an amazing distraction that seems to work (we've been building MegaBloks castles today and putting Dora The Explorer in them). The aches calmed down yesterday, so I'm guessing they're just general ones - and weirdly, I wasn't given any painkillers in hospital to take home... I'll definitely keep an eye on it though - if anything gets really painful/uncomfortable I'll get to the docs - thank you for the advice.

Work have been fab, told me I don't have to go back this week if I don't feel up to it.. I think I'll go in on Thursday, see how it goes and if it's awful maybe do a bit from home... I feel like I need lots of 'normal' too... It's weird, I told a workmate yesterday and she says I'm quite pragmatic about this kind of thing (and she's right), and maybe because I've had one before and have DD it's a bit 'easier' to deal with (easier feels like the wrong word)? Though I know a letter would definitely upset me - am under strict instructions not to open anything from the hospital from hubs, and he'll open it first...

Mama5isalive Tue 06-Sep-11 17:05:41

Hi Catsycat - How are you doing? yeh im TTC but not making it consume me and more enjoying it rather then "making a baby" sex.
SES - thats what we are all here for to support and help and advice,fingers and all crossed for you that will get your BFP real soon!my AF is due 20th Sept
Knittymum- so glad dd has helped you through. kids are good at that!taking mind of things!. Wow are you really thinking of work so soon? good for you, i only returned yesterday since being off MMC was in june!
fingers crossed for positives this month ( all who want them)

Catsycat Tue 06-Sep-11 20:38:35

Hi mama5. Glad all is well with you. We were planning to wait until I had blood tests to continue ttc, but one thing led to another over the weekend and we DTD a couple of times!!! Then I had a very definite ov on my chart and for the first time ever in my life on an OPK on Monday (DH was away monday night so no ttc on ov day, but the day before!). So I'm now in the 2ww, not too hopeful as sex wasn't plentiful this month, though was quite well timed! DD1 is 4 tomorrow, so we have a birthday party to arrange for saturday (hoping for fine weather and not too much wind - don't want the bouncy castle to fly away), so should keep me distracted pretty well - I have the whole house to clean, and a huge amount of baking to do this week. AF is due on 14th sept, so not too long till I know what's going on.... trying to be pessimistic to avoid disappointment, as I'm naturally quite optimistic and have to make sure I don't run away with myself! smile

What does make me feel sad is the post-holiday ironing pile lurking in the dining room. Must go and do it before it falls on me and crushes me!!!!!

Catsycat Tue 06-Sep-11 20:39:50

Meant to ask mama5, how is work going?

puzzletree Tue 06-Sep-11 22:37:19

Hello all, I'm back! Welcome to the newcomers, so sorry you've had to end up here, hopefully we can all support each other through, and make sure you give yourselves time to recover both physically and emotionally.
The festival was brilliant, we were so lucky with the weather, lazed about in the sun, listened to loads of great music, stayed up late, drank hot cider, danced in the woods... The boys had a great time at my parents so I didn't feel too guilty about leaving them. AF was the only downer really, it was so heavy too, I had to spend far too much time in the toilets (never a good thing at a festival!), and was up loads in the night with the dilemma of braving the toilets or attempting to sort myself out in the tent. Messy!
Had a few reflective sad moments too, I suppose because I had lots of time to think, and the boys weren't there taking all my attention. The surroundings were so beautiful, and there were a fair few gorgeous babies and glowing pregnant women (mind you there were also a lot of stressed and shattered looking parents too!).
Not sure how committed we will be to TTC this month, I know DP has always been happy with just two children so this all feels like it's for my benefit, and I'm starting to feel like it should have happened by now for our family to work in terms of age gaps. DS1 started school today, and DS2 will go to nursery soon. Missing that baby whose kicks I'd have been feeling by now sad But then I know I'm not the only one here who feels like that.
On a positive note, the AF from hell is pretty much over, hooray! Wonder how long this next cycle will be.....

Mama5isalive Tue 06-Sep-11 23:03:12

Hi Catsycat - im liking the plan of action it seems that you just made things happen naturally good on you- fingers crossed we both will be getting a positive this month, now that would be cool! work on day2 not bad just a workmate that didnt know she was pregnant when i was is quite big i think she 18 weeks or so i would be 24 weeks and she walking like she very huge!
so all the" baby talk" is going on as she wants a girl!!!!!!! i would just be happy to still be pregnant!!!!!! i guess later on in the day someone told her and she tried to avoid me for the rest of the day! with her head held down! oh great now im making her feel guilty!!!! i didnt want that!!!!!!
thankfully my boss is great and said if i become overwhelmed i can go home she totally understands( shes had a few MC in the past) so glad to have that support! But i believe this is my month so soon will be telling her my good news again!!!!! ( thinking positive, brings a positive) my new way of thinking!
kids back to school yesterday, today and tomorrow so no more "im bored" comments!!!!!
another friend has had her baby 4 days ago, going to see her this week for a hold!!!!
Bring forth the baby making, 2 weeks waiting,symptom spotting, POAS month!

Mama5isalive Tue 06-Sep-11 23:08:02

Puzzletree - glad to hear you enjoyed and survived it all AF & tent aint my idea of fun at all you brave women you! glad your AF is on t way out!
yeh im with you with the whole baby kicking right now! im trying to stop myself from thinking about it but right now its so hard pregnant women everywhere!!!!!!! and all i think is i wander if she would of been bigger then me if i still was!!!!!!!
but you all know the feelings- thank God we can share and air without the judgement or the "get over it now" comments!
im holding my breath for Lily Allen i really pray she has her happy ending!!!!

Catsycat Wed 07-Sep-11 11:31:49

Hi puzzletree. Glad you enjoyed the festival, and that AF didn't ruin it for you! How are you feeling about DS1 going to school? DD1 has just missed out by a week, and would have loved to go. And I would have loved the reduction in the nursery bill.

I'm also getting more worried about the spacing between DC as time ticks by - DH does not understand this at all! DD1 is 4 today, and I think it is because of this (and because her birth was very traumatic, so I'm always a bit oversensitive round this time) I have been feeling really sad about the mc for the last few days. Have been thinking how I'd be nearly half way through by now, feeling the movements, having a big bump etc... sad

mama5, sorry about your colleague - I'm sure she'll live though! I'm glad work is going OK. Hope you (and all of us ttc) get your BFP this month - liking the positive thinking.

Really must go and do housework, but feeling lazy this week and it's really a chore (usually don't mind it). The ironing pile from hell is still lurking too....

SESthebrave Wed 07-Sep-11 22:30:44

AAaaaargh! Did a lovely long post and then MN went offline and I lost it sad

Mama5 - I'm due AF on 18th Sept so we could be testing around the same time. I'm not hopeful though as only one well-timed GOF and no symptoms yet. That attitdue is not in line with your positivity though so I will tell myself that a) it only takes one GOF and b) I'm unlikely to have symptoms at 4dpo!
Glad you have a nice understanding boss.

Puzzle - Festival sounds great (except for AF).
How did DS1 get on at school?

CatsyCat - happy birthday to your DD1!

I also worry about age gaps. I'd originally wanted 18mo but now it's going to be more than double that which is a bit depressing. Just have to remind myself I know loads of people with different age gaps and it's fine. Not so easy when it seems so many friends get pg seemingly very easily!

puzzletree Thu 08-Sep-11 09:26:45

Hi All,

DS1 is loving school as we knew he would, thanks everyone for asking. He's also a september birthday Catsy, 5 on saturday, so was more than ready. Hope your DD1 had a good birthday! DS2 starts nursery 3 mornings a week on monday. Although he told the teachers he doesn't want to go, has enough toys at home thanks very much :-) and his use of the toilet is also very erratic :-( so we'll see....

Sounds like there are a few possible BFPs brewing here, good luck to all you ladies!!! Right, another rainy day, let's get to it....

knittymum23 Fri 09-Sep-11 10:56:23

Hi mama5 - my doctor at the hospital actually said I could go back last Monday (there was no way I was doing that, I knew I wasn't ready)! Sensibly I went in yesterday to chat to people, do work and errr I'd arranged for a Phoenix Order to go to work before all this had happened... so I did all that then booked today and tomorrow off as holiday to lounge around the house and do non-taxing things like tidy up websites... I do feel fine though, a minor back pain but nothing else now. It feels like it all happened weeks ago, even though it was only last week.

puzzle - which festival did you go to? Any good bands? What a pain about AF though... fortunately when I used to go to festivals I managed to avoid it through pure luck.

CatsyCat - ha, know what you mean about fees etc - DD is a late August baby and her best friends are all a couple of weeks later, and oh lordy, I'm so glad we make those savings - it's SO expensive.

I know what you all mean about age gaps too - I'll be 42 and pregnant (I hope) should I get lucky again... and I know my time is running out now, which makes me a bit sad... I just hope it happens again by the end of the year.

Mama5isalive Sat 10-Sep-11 13:30:49

Hi all - sorry i have not been here so tired after work and re adjusting but hopefully will get better, well if i dont fall pregnant this month!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Catsycat - hows you?
Knittymum23 - take your time and dont return to work until YOUR ready!
Puzzle - how are you?
SES- yes if i get any signs that i am pregnant def will test but if not will hold off until AF doesnt appear dont want to get a BFN!!!!!!
had my hold of my friends 3 day old - and it was sooo lovely but saddened me to know i would of been half way by now!!!!!! i guess the due date may be hard for me but hopefully will be pregnant and will have something to focus on!

SESthebrave Sun 11-Sep-11 15:35:17

Hello all! Hope you're enjoying your weekends smile
It's actually sunny here at the moment and I have washing on the line shock

I'm trying not to symptom spot. Am 8dpo and have sore boobs on and off but then I often get that between ovulation and AF so it doesn't really mean anything!

knittymum - Mama5 is right, that you should take things at your own pace. Go easy on yourself as you return to work. You will know what you can and can't cope with.

Mama5 - hope the tiredness eases

Puzzle - hope your DS1 had a good birthday

Mama5isalive Sun 11-Sep-11 16:06:45

SES - happy symptom spotting and on the 8dpo countdown im getting fully into moving and work so will just hopefully be too busy to notice!!!!!
but for every month passing, the need to be pregnant is getting better! loads of pregnant friends so not missing out on the newborn hugs and holds and nappy changes! being auntie is still fun!

Mama5isalive Sun 11-Sep-11 16:07:46

ps - still feeling soooooooo tired!!!!!!!!!! way too early for a pregnant symptom!

Catsycat Mon 12-Sep-11 15:53:38

Hi folks. I'm 8 DPO today (so similar to you SES), and trying not to symptom spot. The smell of cat food was making me gag yesterday (DH couldn't really smell it) and I was thinking "OMG maybe I'm pg!!!". I doubt I am though! Am due AF on wednesday, and stupidly did a pg test today which was obviously BFN as it's too early to test anyway!!!!!

We had really nice weather for DD1's party smile so everyone got to play for ages on the bouncy castle. It took me 3 days to prepare for it, plus planning and shopping time earlier in the week, as I am a bit of a perfectionist / masochist about these things. Everyone had a nice time, no blood was spilt, and most important DD1 really enjoyed herself.

Went to my GP last thursday, and he has recorded the CP on my notes, and seems to be counting it as a mc in case I need testing in future. He has told me to come in for the day 3 tests next cycle, but says the progesterone day 21 tests probably won't be helpful for me if I'm not pg, as we need to know if the levels are right if I am pg... He has offered to refer me to an obstetrician already as well, though I'm not sure if they would see me, but he said we could try anyway! I asked him about cyclogest if I get pg, and he said he has no fixed opinion on it, and would rather look at if there were any side effects to using it, than whether there is concrete proof it works. He said his main concern is my wellbeing, so he sees no harm in prescribing it if there are no bad side effects, even if there is no conclusive proof it helps. I think I have a pretty good chance of getting him to prescribe it if i get pg again. He is really nice smile .

Hope you all had a good weekend. Glad you enjoyed seeing the baby mama5, and hoping school still going well for your DS Puzzletree - LOL at DS2 having enough toys at home!!! Hoping AF stays away for those of us ttc!

puzzletree Mon 12-Sep-11 21:32:29

Hi all! Eek at all the symptom spotting SES Mama and Catsy... my fingers are firmly crossed for you all ladies!! I'm not sure what's going on with me at all, the last AF was such a long drawn out affair and cycles seem variable in length. But I think we are ttc in a relaxed way this month so we'll see what happens...
knittymum glad you're feeling ok, take care of yourself still though. It was End of the Road festival in Dorset, a long way away for us but so worth it (even with AF!).
Glad your dd's birthday party went well Catsy, very brave of you to organise it all! I decided to let ds have his first ever party too but went for the soft play easy option. Our house is filled with toys though now! ds2 was actually ok in nursery this morning and I had I think my first time alone in the house ever since ds2 was born over 3 years ago!
Good luck and lots of love to everyone on the thread. And hope you're all staying safe in this wind!

Mama5isalive Tue 13-Sep-11 19:27:39

im playing it cool and just not going to read too much into anything! dont want to build my hopes up to then get them shattered again by the wicked AF arrival!!!
I have fingers and prayers for all those who are in the 2 ww/few days waiting zone! I HATE WAITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Catsycat Tue 13-Sep-11 20:21:29

What mama5 said! Just waiting for AF to show her ugly face...

Glad DS2 is getting used to nursery puzzletree. Hope you enjoyed your time alone in the house! I do love my two days a week when they are at nursery - it is a bit of a luxury, but worth it.

Mama5isalive Wed 14-Sep-11 21:27:53

cramping this evening, really feel that she will be arriving on her big bodyform broom to slap me into reality! on tuesday!! for it to all start all over again next month!!!!!!!
how everyone is ok! im so looking forwards to the weekend moving house next week!( if i get a positive im sure i wont have to help with anything) grin

Catsycat Thu 15-Sep-11 10:53:21

Hi folks! Just wanted to share that I had the worst bellyache last night. It reeeeeallllly hurt sooooo much! DH away so no-one to whinge at either. I couldn't even go to bed until about 1.30am as it was so uncomfortable (and I am a total emetophobe, so had to wait until I was sure I wasn't going to chuck up before I could let myself go to sleep!). Still got a bit of a residual sore tummy this morning, an a sore throat as well. And I have an occupational health appointment this lunch time, which I really don't want to go to. I think I might tell the OT I want to leave it for a bit until I have the ttc sorted out... Am two days late now (I think) but another BFN this morning sad

Hope you will have the perfect excuse to avoid heavy lifting next week mama5! LOL at the big bodyform broom, though I kind of felt she might ride a huge tampax with the cord waving in the breeze behind her!!! grin

SESthebrave Fri 16-Sep-11 06:54:41

Sorry for not being on for a few days. My head has been all over the place symptom spotting. However...

Add message | Report | Message posterSESthebrave Fri 16-Sep-11 06:40:25

Eek - BFP this morning at 13dpo!
How many emotions is it possible to feel all at once? Predominantly scared and excited. This is my 5th pregnancy but I "only" have DS so the odds are stacked against me.

I have a gynae appointment on Monday to follow up on the tests from the last mc in May so not sure what they'll say when I tell them.

How is everyone else feeling? Anyone about to join and keep me company in the newly upduffed status?

Mama5isalive Fri 16-Sep-11 17:14:48

OMG - Ses im so happy for you CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!shocksmile
whopppppppppppp! i really wished i POAS but havent just feel like AF is on it way!

Mama5isalive Fri 16-Sep-11 17:19:47

maybe i have gotten my dates wrong so confused im remember you said you wasnt hopeful and only got in there once!!!!! just proves ones is all it takes!!!!!
def not hopeful and feeling another month of waiting to go for me!

puzzletree Fri 16-Sep-11 20:23:28

Oh wow SES that's fantastic news!!!!!!! Fingers and everything crossed for you that this is a nice easy event-free pregnancy for you.....
Really hope that there will be others joining you, still hopeful for you Mama and Catsy

SESthebrave Fri 16-Sep-11 20:59:18

Thank you Mama5 and Puzzle smile

Yes - it did only take once this month blush and grin

CatsyCat - hope you're feeling better today.

Catsycat Fri 16-Sep-11 21:54:20

Thanks SES. Very excited to read your news - well done! Hope it is completely free from drama for you this time. Hope gynae are supportive and useful at your appointment!

Still no AF for me, so 2-3 days late by my usual standards. I'm now 12 DPO, and feeling very weird - both DDs have been bit off this week, so more likely I have a bit of a bug than any good news! Have been POAS the last few mornings, but BFNs every time. Not getting my hopes up, but not sure what's going on...

Have a good weekend everyone!

puzzletree Fri 16-Sep-11 23:40:52

Catsy, my AF was unusually late too, I think it ended up being a 31/32 day cycle and then when it arrived (at the festival) was pretty full on heavy, and took a while to go as well. Presume it's a post-mc thing, will see how the next few months pan out. Perhaps your body's a bit messed up too, especially after the second pregnancy as well. Still hoping for a BFP for you too though....
Hope you also have a good weekend, but take care of yourself too lady, you've had a rough few months.

Catsycat Sun 18-Sep-11 18:44:34

Hi everyone. Thanks for your last post puzzletree smile.

Just to report I had a BFP this morning. Trying to contain myself and not get run away with it all. Just hoping I can keep this one. I feel pretty rough, so am hoping that will continue for the next 8 or 9 weeks!!!!

I wondered does anyone have any experience of Cyclogest, and if so, would you say it is worth it or not? My GP was quite open to consider it last time I saw him, so am wondering whether to go back and ask for it.

Hope everyone else is OK and had a nice weekend.

puzzletree Sun 18-Sep-11 19:56:40

Oh wow, that's amazing Catsy!!!! So pleased for you smile You definitely have to take care of yourself now. No idea about cyclogest but definitely go to the GP and have a chat. I really hope that this little one makes it through for you, you deserve it.
Hope this board fertility streak is contagious!

Catsycat Sun 18-Sep-11 20:15:16

Thanks puzzletree smile. It feels like we've all been on such a journey together already, and really hoping everyone else will get their own good news soon.

SESthebrave Sun 18-Sep-11 21:19:46

Catsy - congratulations! Fantastic news and here's hoping everything goes smoothly smile

Mama5isalive Mon 19-Sep-11 08:16:57

OHHHHHHHHHHH im so happy for you Catsy i really feel like we have been on such a emotional rollercoaster and just to know of the negative tests and now your positive has given me new hope!!!!!!!!!
please tell me how many times did you test and as you got your positive last night! apart from feeling overwhelmed for you and SES, feeling ifi dont get on this month theres always next month!!!!!! AF due tomorrow but i refuse to POAS until a few days have past and still no show of AF!!!!! im confused on the daysPO thought i was quite close to SES so abit unsure! oh well waiting game still for me! of to get ready for work now!

Catsycat Mon 19-Sep-11 19:44:24

Thanks SES and mama5!

I was due AF on wednesday last week, due to my stupid short cycle. That would have been 9 DPO. I think I tested with FMU wednesday, thursday and friday and got BFNs. On saturday morning, FMU turned up a really faint line - hard to see if it had colour or was an evap. On saturday pm, I tested again and got a distinct line, though not a very dark one. On sunday am with FMU, I did a CBD and got "pregnant 1-2 weeks". I will try to do a CBD next weekend to see if the number of weeks has gone up.

I don't really feel ill today, and am worried that I don't have strong enough symptoms for this to go the distance. I also went to my GP to see if he could prescribe cyclogest, and he phoned me back later after consulting an obstetrician to say that I didn't fit the profile for getting it, but he was happy to try and get me an urgent consultation with an obs if I wanted. I don't really see the point. I want this so much, but feel really despondent already. I have progesterone cream in the cupboard that I ordered online, and TBH might just try using that and see if it helps (well, I guess I'll never be able to prove if it helped, if I manage to stay pg, but might make me feel I'm doing something positive!!!). Sorry to be a bit "glass half full". Feels like it's been a long couple of months....

Catsycat Mon 19-Sep-11 19:45:02

should have said "glass half empty" - maybe a freudian slip, and natural optimism slipping out!!!

tumblebug Mon 19-Sep-11 23:31:53

Wow, so much news! Congrats SES and Catsy, really hope everything goes well for you both.

Catsy, try not to worry too much about not feeling ill. My (limited) experience - with DS I didn't feel ill at all until about 6 weeks, BFP was a big surprise at 5 weeks (thought I'd better test before 2nd glass of wine...). With latest PG, felt quite sick at 3 week, v tired but tailed off by about 7. So really couldn't tell early on.

Mama5 good luck with the move - is it this week?

Very busy here - decided not to buy a house at the moment, found somewhere to rent hope to get keys next week and move in soon after. Can't wait now - now we've decided to move just want to get on with it, and cut out commute.

Had my BFN (was still spotting a tiny bit but got impatient), think had already ovulated though so no SWI, and AF showed up at the weekend, less than 5 weeks after passing pregnancy sac. At least I know where I am though, ready to try again. Been drinking lots of wine in brief window when definitely not PG, on call or driving! In the last week I finally feel physically back to normal, so waiting and getting my strength back was probably a good idea anyway.

Catsycat Tue 20-Sep-11 10:23:27

Thanks tumble, that's reassuring. I'm glad you got your BFN and AF - so you know everything is where it needs to be, and that you are looking to the future smile

I really should have kept some sort of diary with DD1 and DD2, then I'd be able to see when I felt different symptoms etc... I remember with DD1 I definitely felt pretty rotten by 4/5 weeks, I think I felt not as bad with DD2. Do feel a bit off this morning (hurrah!), vaguely nauseous, dizzy and tired. Have started the progesterone cream last night, and feel a bit better for that - like I'm giving the pg the best chance. I'm trying to break the pg down into manageable bits, e.g. just 2 weeks till I can phone the EPU to book my scan, just 4 weeks till I can have the scan, just 8 weeks to my 12 week scan etc, etc. DH has holiday booked next week, so I'm hoping he's planning to distract me with lots of DIY, gardening and days out!!!

How is everyone else doing this week. All packed up yet mama5???

SESthebrave Tue 20-Sep-11 13:20:34

tumble - thank you smile

Catsy - not sure of your history but as I've had 3 mc now,EPU have agreed to scan me in 2wks when in theory would be 6wks. It helps to know I've got that booked in.

Mama5 - hope your move goes well.

Puzzle - how are you doing?

All my symptoms have vanished today and so I'm trying really hard not to worry. I keep prodding my boobs but the soreness has gone. I fet awful yesterday with all over body aching. It was almost like the onset of flu but could have been tiredness. I may POAS again tomorrow for reassurance hmm

Mama5isalive Tue 20-Sep-11 19:40:56

Hi all -

So glad that you never gave up Catsy and got your well deserved BFP and you SES(sesthepregnant)! its amazing what a day can do! in terms of your testing results!
Tumble- yes you can have some idea of how to chart and get the best results!
its amazing how you can be having plenty of swi like evey other day before during and so after and miss out and have 1 shot and get it right fist time!
i guess me getting some help with ov-ing stick may have to be it for me next month! i heard the clearblue ones is good i cant be asked to look at anymore lines!!!!! apart from on the BFP type!!!!!!!
ive not moved just yet been told place with be ready beginning of the month so thats ok for me not too long!!!!! so much to do with moving, work and secondary school open days to attend! just hope want to focus on that rather then if im pregnant or not! bllllaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
but i hope you guys are doing well! just focus on those milestones Catsy youll be ther before you know it! ok!!!!!!
Puzzle - how are you?

Catsycat Tue 20-Sep-11 19:54:44

Thanks mama5, it's great knowing you are there encouraging me. Glad you're busy with the move, schools etc. I can't wait for DH to be home next week to distract me from the mentalling. On the ov stick front, I found the Superdrug ones worked (the only brand I ever had a positive result from!), and they were on special offer when I bought them smile.

SES, glad it's not just me prodding my boobs. Seriously, I am also scrutinizing every sheet of toilet paper that I wipe with. I nearly went into meltdown earlier because I wiped and the CM was very slightly off white!!!!!! When I mc, the paramedic who went with me to hospital was lovely. She had had 4 mcs (and one surviving child born somewhere in the 20s of weeks I think), and she told me that after a mc you join "knicker checkers anonymous". My membership card is in the post. If I'm really going crazy, I might phone EPU and plead for an earlier scan. I hope your symptoms come back - in fact I hope we both feel rotten tomorrow grin!!!!!!!

puzzletree Tue 20-Sep-11 20:58:12

Hi all, I'm here, and fine, just trying to keep busy and not think about things too much, you all know how it is in the 2ww....
Glad you're keeping busy too Mama.

Glad you're doing ok Catsy and SES, try not to stress about (lack of) symptoms. I know it's much easier said than done but they really do vary between pregnancies. Hope the countdown to those early scans doesn't drag too much, glad you've managed to get them booked in.

tumble I'm glad your body seems to be back to normal again, it does take a while to recover. Good luck for this cycle. Must admit I was enjoying alcohol at every opportunity too!

It's definitely reassuring to have you ladies here, whatever happens I know you'll understand. Might test on sunday morning as I've got an evening with the girls, just a book group but we do tend to glug the wine so I want to know whether to (sneakily) abstain or not.

Mama5isalive Wed 21-Sep-11 19:59:46

Still no AF im confused!!!!!!!
Not too busy here Puzzletree, im testing on weekend if AF stays away!!!!!!
cramping has gone but, have feeling the hag will try slap me while im sleeping!

Catsycat Wed 21-Sep-11 20:05:39

Hey, Hag, stay away from mama5!!!!!!!!!

Mama5isalive Thu 22-Sep-11 18:15:55

its worked Catsy just not sure for how long still not POAS so scared too now! maybe got dates wrong!!!!!!! and worked it out wrong! sad

puzzletree Thu 22-Sep-11 18:28:32

Do a test, do a test! Do you have any symptoms?

Mama5isalive Thu 22-Sep-11 18:43:39

Puzzle -had some cramping a few days before i was expecting it on the 20th but nothing yet had a banging headache all day so didnt eat much! when i go toilet i keep checking after i wipe but nothing, not even spotting!!!!!!!!!
maybe i should asked DH to check for me!!!confused!!!!! nah on other thoughts, no not a good idea!!!!!
But how are you?

Catsycat Thu 22-Sep-11 19:51:37

I had a bad headache and cramping this time last week, and, well, we all know what happened when I POAS last saturday!!!! Are you going to POAS soon, do you think, mama5? <tries not to shout POAS!!! POAS!!!!!> Oh, how exciting!

<waves to Puzzletree>

puzzletree Thu 22-Sep-11 20:22:50

Ooh it does sound promising Mama, do you have a cheapy test to hand for tomorrow morning?
I'm feeling no signs at all of anything, but have given up on trying to work out my body these days and AF not due til next week anyway...
Glad all's still well with you too Catsy

tumblebug Thu 22-Sep-11 22:28:48

Mama5 oh the suspense, all sounds good.... don't forget to let us know when you POAS!!! Fingers crossed for you. Also Puzzletree, would be really early for convincing symptoms, try not to think about it too much (OK probably impossible!), hopefully at your book group you'll be 'sneakily abstaining' (how do you do that??? it's a trick I need to learn!).

SES and Catsy I was already a boob prodder/ knicker checker before the MC - will probably be so much worse next time, think I'll be terrified. (optimistically hoping there will be a next time). Catsy good luck with getting a scan.

Just waiting for AF to go away so can start the SWI, which will be interesting with moving house around mid cycle. Guess will aim for efficient rather than energetic! Want to be a 3 times a week, don't worry about it girl but usually know when i ov anyway, so will try to get timing right.

Have to do a presentation at work tomorrow, worried it's a bit controversial there could be some 'lively discussion'. Oh well at least it's really the weekend!

tumblebug Thu 22-Sep-11 22:29:32

NEARLY the weekend!!

MillontheFloss Fri 23-Sep-11 11:02:16

Great to see the good news from a few of you.

My ERPC was two weeks ago today. Had the expected ten days bleeding and POAS this morning to find a BFN. Relieved it's at least all over! Waiting for AF and then going to TTC again. But alas, nearly the weekend!

Mama5isalive Sat 24-Sep-11 19:30:54

Hi ladies AF got me on Friday!!!! sorry so out for another month!!!!!!
I may just step away for trying for now will have to review after my time has passed!
Million - i hope thats you last BFN for now! all the best xxx

puzzletree Sat 24-Sep-11 21:01:34

Oh Mama so sorry to hear that, thought it was your month sad Hope you're ok. Take care of yourself.
MillontheFloss glad you got your BFN, it's so weird testing and wanting a BFN isn't it? Hope your cycle settles quickly, look after yourself too.
I'm going to test in the morning, with my last internet cheapie test and if it's negative I'll allow myself some wine-induced merriness in the evening. Will let you know how it goes...

puzzletree Sun 25-Sep-11 11:30:43

...and it was negative. So bring on the wine, and the coffee. Not sure when AF is due, could be any time from tomorrow really. But I'm pretty sure now that I'm out this month. Not sure how long we'll be ttc, am thinking maybe a couple more months, then call it a day sad
Hope the rest of you are well. I'm trying to do my (son's) first school assignment which requires photos of him with different family members and aargh, the printer ink is running out! Fail.

philbee Tue 27-Sep-11 20:43:19

Hi ladies. Congratulations, Catsy - great news. We are back TTCing again, although it always seems a bit haphazard. I thought I'd be stressy etc., but actually I just feel very sad a lot of the time. Have had news of a childhood friend who was due around the same time whose second scan showed massive disability and they decided to terminate, really really hard. And I have another friend who is due two weeks after I would have been and all going well so I can't really forget what stage I'd have been at, which I'd like to. Oh well. AF due next weekend and we'll see if it turns up on time.

I was on the feb 12 bus, my baby boy died during birth a few days ago at 19 +6 weeks we have called him Jacob . My cervix started opening a couple of weeks ago and I had a stitch put in but it didn't work, my waters broke just after they took it back out. Everything settled down for a week until I realised I could feel his feet at the tip of my cervix. My cervix had closed around his legs and we decided to induce, we couldn't bare the thought of him being trapped. I feel so bad as he was still alive even though my consultant assured us that he probably wouldnt have been able to survive being trapped. We have arranged the funaral for a week on tuesday

MillontheFloss Fri 30-Sep-11 21:16:27

Moomin I don't know what to say to make you feel better but do take care. Have the doctors told you how this happened? I hope you and your partner will begin to feel better after the funeral as I'm sure it will be a bit of a limbo until then. Sorry I can't really help but I know that it must be so hard for you being half way through. I would be half way too and keep thinking that but I can't begin to imagine what you went through. Take it easy x

natto Fri 30-Sep-11 21:27:05

Oh Moominsarescary that's horrific. So so sorry to hear about what happened to you and your son Jacob. I cannot imagine what you are going through, especially so soon after it has happened. I hope you have lots of people around you for support. It sounds like you did everything you could for your baby. Was he your first? I hope you get through this weekend ok, and, if you're not back here before then, the funeral goes ok too.
I was on the feb bus too, but left a while ago now (MC'd at 9 weeks). Was just coming on the board now to feel sorry for myself as I would have been 22 weeks now, and seem to know lots of people due early next year who are just now putting lots of updates and images of their 20 week scans on facebook etc. Just goes to show you are never out of the woods and it can sadly all go wrong at any stage of pregnancy.
Anyway, really so so sorry you've ended up here, but welcome to this thread, feel free to rant/share whatever you like.

natto Fri 30-Sep-11 22:08:54

oops, forgot I name changed for David Mitchell chat! I'm puzzletree by the way. Will change back now....

Thankyou, he was my 4th child, all boys. I've had problems in the past with premature rupture of membranes, ds2 at 34 weeks and ds3 at 31 weeks but have never had a problem with my cervix before. We don't know why it happened but I suffered cord prolapse with ds3 and the cord had to be pushed back through my cervix and held there while I was rushed to surgery so it's possible it was damaged then.

I've had the same consultant with my last 3 dc, he is realy good. The doctor I saw when I was admitted to hospital just told us there was nothing they could do. I was 2-3 cm dialated at the time. I saw my consultant the next day who suggested trying a stitch even though by that time I was 5-6 cm. I do wonder if it would have worked better if the first doctor had done it.

Mama5isalive Sat 01-Oct-11 04:06:57

im so very sorry to hear about you recent loss, please come and share as we have all been there.
im feeling like getting pregnant again will be my way of coping with my loss, to me its like something that was suppose to be but was cut short!
i do hope everyone else is ok.
and my feelings about having another has not changed but every month it feels like the chance are slipping further away! but im not using any charting or ov-ing stick just working it out on a ov calculator and seeing if that works, not yet but im not hitting the early day well enough!

philbee Sun 02-Oct-11 19:45:51

Moomin - I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing to happen. I think that lots of us have 'what ifs' and that must only increase the later it gets. I hope the funeral is peaceful. Come back and talk to us if you need to.

Mama5 - we are ttcing too, and I've never done charts or anything, just tried to work it out on a calendar and then get jiggy fairly frequently over a few weeks. I feel like charting it all properly would really get me stressed and not a nice person to be around. Anyway, sitting here with a glass of wine is pretty nice this evening!

Mama5isalive Mon 10-Oct-11 23:14:04

hows everyone doing its gone very quiet on here!!!!!

Hi not too bad, the funeral is tomorrow so just been getting everything organised. I did have a bit of a melt down this morning but dp came home ( he'd just got to work) and I'm feeling alot better now

tumblebug Wed 12-Oct-11 13:56:08

Hi, I'm doing well, been busy moving house but pretty much all done now. Mama5 have you moved yet?

Been TTCing (in a half-hearted, tired kind of way!), think I'm in the 2ww - not really sure, think I ov'd a bit earlier than my normal cycle but I don't chart or anything, just go on how I feel. Keep convincing myself I have sore breasts, but that could just be the bra I'm wearing (not enough support?).

DS missed his settling in visit at his new nursery today because he has a rash that could be chicken pox. Kind of hoping it is now, his skin isn't great (eczema) I've kept him at home before when I wasn't sure, so would be really good to get it out the way!

Moomin, how did the funeral go? I hope it wasn't too difficult. Sounds like you have a lovely supportive dp.

Hope everyone else is OK. Any more BFPs?

puzzletree Wed 12-Oct-11 14:18:58

Hi All,

Hope the funeral went ok Moomin? Hugs for you.

I'm still plodding on, mid-cycle, nothing to update. Half-hearted TTC like you tumblebug. I'm trying to work out what's going on with ov sticks and nothing obvious has happened there yet. Trying to focus on other stuff anyway.

MillontheFloss Wed 12-Oct-11 17:01:17

Hi all. I'm ok, have managed to put MC behind me I think. TTCing but first post ERPC AF only ended on Sunday so it won't be this weekend until I OV. Still, might as well get cracking! Hope I'll have some good news involving a BFP to report by next month but I would be very lucky to conceive straight away so am being realistic! Hoping that whole 'more fertile after an MC' thing is true!

Catsycat Thu 13-Oct-11 16:38:28

Hi Everyone! Had to step away for a while as I was totally obsessing... Have just got back from my scan, and saw a heartbeat. The dates and size match up perfectly. I actually cried with relief. Obviously, we have a long way to go, but I do feel as if a lot of weight has been lifted. Hope no-one minds me posting this on here, and that you are all doing OK.

Moomin, so sorry to read about your loss - I had been thinking of you after reading about your experience on another thread, and had really hoped things would be OK. I hope the funeral was peaceful, and that you have lots of support. xx

tumblebug Thu 13-Oct-11 22:42:08

Catsy that's brilliant news!

Puzzle definitely easier focusing on other things, it'll happen in the end.

Mill glad you're OK, good luck with TTCing.

I think I put a bit much emphasis on the more fertile thing, and not enough on the SWIing - reckon AF's on her way. Oh well, will put some wine in the fridge, there's always next month.

Mama5isalive Sun 16-Oct-11 00:24:32

Moomin - how are you feeling? i pray all is well with you and you can start healing!
Million - glad your moving on nicely and making more plans! thats wonderful have all crossed for you!
Catsy- Ohhh thats wonderful news im sooooooooooo happy for you! and im so glad you came back to let us know all is well with sticky bean!
Tumble-never say never loads have thought AF was coming to get a BFP instead!!!!
well moved and now just sorting through to find new homes for all our stuff! have soooo much dont understand where it all was! i swear our house before was like mary poppins bag!!!!!!!
well im currently in my 2ww but am not holding out much hope, for the moving consumed all my energy and so didnt get much swi in ohh well! will see!

take care and back soon when got my internet up!

tumblebug Tue 18-Oct-11 22:18:46

Mama5 thanks for your optimism, unfortunately AF showed up as expected! Hope you get your BFP this month. We're also in our new house now, surrounded by stuff, nowhere to put it all and DS's birthday at the weekend, having a party, no idea how we'll fit everyone in!

Hi everyone, the funeral was ok not that I remember any of the service but everyone said it was lovely. It was realy nice that so many of our friends took time of work to come.

catsy congratulations glad everything is going well
tumble good luck with the party

Hope everyone else is ok

kellzi Wed 19-Oct-11 19:17:25

me too missed the bus on the 6th October, but still going to the hospital every 48 hours for bloods, another scan tommorrow!! Dr now said ectopic and i am passing it naturally, what the bloody hell does that mean. am so pissed off that no one seems to be able to give me a straight answer x

tumblebug Wed 19-Oct-11 21:12:27

Hi kellzi so sorry for your loss. Afraid I have no idea about passing ectopics. It sounds like it's been going on for ages, how confusing. Do you have someone looking after you? It takes so much out of you physically and emotionally, try to take it easy and not expect too much of yourself until you know what's going on and start to feel a bit better (it will happen). I spent a lot of time reading books while miscarrying, was all i could manage and took my mind off things a bit.

Catsycat Wed 19-Oct-11 21:46:50

Hi everyone.

Moomin, I'm glad your friends came to support you, and that it went as OK as it could. I hope you are still taking good care of yourself / being taken good care of.

kellzi, that sounds so tough, you poor thing, I am sorry. I haven't experienced ep, so can't offer any specific help, but I do remember how hard all the waiting and uncertainty was with my mmc. Rest and distraction (reading, crap telly, MN) were mainly how I got through it, that and just taking each emotion as it came, and like tumble said, not expecting too much of yourself.

Tumble, sorry about AF. Hope your new house is meeting expectations. The stuff will find a home - eventually. (That's what I'm telling myself 5 years on - turns out the home for a lot of it was eBay / Freecycle!!!!!!!!). Hope the party goes well.

Mama5 again, hope the move was a good one, and good luck with the unpacking! Thinking of you in the 2ww!

Mama5isalive Wed 19-Oct-11 22:24:53

Kellzi- im so sorry for your loss, i had an ectopic in 06 and we just waited for it too pass and went for blood tests to make sure the blood count as dropping!
baby passed in a massive period bleed and that was that. be kind to yourself!
Catsy - how is everything going for you are you good? and bean?
tumble- how is the unpacking going for you, i dont believe e have so much stuff and now in a bigger place still dont know here things should go! want more of a clutter free look so using what is needed the rest can wait till i find the time to sort through! Thank God for Garage!!!
still here waiting for AF to come on weekend feeling sick but i feel like im coming down with a bad cold! blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
limited internet also so here and there is all i can do for now!

I hope everyone else is well and doing ok! take care xxx

Mama5isalive Wed 19-Oct-11 22:28:16

moomin - glad you had the support of good friends it help you get through!
i hope your looking after you, time goes so quickly i dont believe how far gone i should be know! makes me sad!

the news on friday about mistakes made at scans being told no heartbeat and it was wrong, no other scans being offered- didnt make me feel good at all! so many what if's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sadangry

mama so sorry you are feeling this way , the what ifs and why did it happen seem like extra torment especially as noone ever seems to have any answers

kellzi I'm sorry for your loss, I have no Experiance of ectopic, hope you are ok

Well dp brought up the topic of ttc yesterday and wants to try as soon as I feel ready. I'm not so sure, I know he's thinking that when I mc last year I feel pg with ds and all went well so hopefully it could happen again but with the added problem with my cervix and needing a stitch I'm not so sure.

We also have an added problem that I think we have both been trying to forget, a few months ago dp found lumps in his testicles that the dr thinks may be cancerous, he was booked in for tests at the same time as I was loosing Jacob so cancelled them. I think were both worrying that now might be the only chance we have to ttc.

Hopefully my post natal appointment will come through soon so we can talk through our options regarding another pregnancy with the consultant

Catsycat Tue 25-Oct-11 21:17:18

Oh Moomin, I'm so sorry to hear about your DP needing tests. That must be so frightening, and the last thing you need right now. I hope everything turns out to be OK.

I feel a bit bad saying it on here, and hope no-one minds, but everything is still OK with me. Feeling very sick, so quite encouraged by that, although a bit nervous this week as it was at 9 1/2 weeks last time that I started spotting, and I was 9 weeks yesterday. I am looking forward to my 12 week scan being over, and think if all goes well then, I might feel a bit more confident!

How is everyone else?

Glad everything's ok catsy

Mama5isalive Sat 29-Oct-11 15:28:04

Ohhhhh so happy for you Catsy!
Praying all is going to go good for you and hopefully will be joining you real soon!
Don't have Internet so struggling with not being on here often!
Hope everyone else is ok!

puzzletree Thu 03-Nov-11 20:29:12

Hello everyone. Just checking back.
Kelzi sorry this is happening to you too. Take care of yourself.
Catsy so pleased all's going well for you this time, and that you're feeling sick smile. When's the 12 week scan?
Moomin sorry about your worries for DP as well as the miscarriage problems. Hope all the doctors appointments and tests go well.
Mama you're such a rock for all of us, hope it's your turn very soon
tumble any news?
And finally, I have a some good news to share, it seems that I am 5 weeks pregnant! Obviously I'm pretty nervous at this early stage, but trying to enjoy the feeling of being pregnant again and really hoping this one sticks around. It would be due in early July so could potentially be born on the anniversary of the miscarriage which would be nice I think. Or two days later, on DS2s 4th birthday which I doubt he'd want to share smile. Hope all those of you who are TTC, or preparing to TTC again are lucky asap.

tumblebug Thu 03-Nov-11 23:03:48

Puzzle congratulations! I can imagine how nervous you feel, but it's a start, fingers crossed for you.

Catsy great news too, can't be long now till your 12 week scan, then hopefully you can relax a bit. (and really glad you posted here, been thinking about you).

Moomin any news on your DH? Sounds like you're having a really tough time at the moment.

Mama5 no internet would drive me mad too! We had a week without, thank goodness for my phone! How's the TTCing?

NOt much news here. DS's birthday party was great, he seemed to understand that it was a special day and all about him, and enthusiastically opened all his presents (which are now scattered everywhere, along with the rest of his toys, such a lucky boy).

Still TTCing, in the 2ww now so stopped drinking again. Been a bit half hearted again with SWI though, just wait and see I guess. Started trying nearly 7 months ago, just assumed I'd be pregnant by now (and wanted to get into this school year, so only 2 apart from DS). Then I saw something in the news about poorer academic outcomes for August birthdays and wonder if I should wait! (I think too much, I know it doesn't matter at all, would just love to have another baby).

Of course 3 months were spent being pregnant, I'm not worried, just a bit sad sometimes and feel like time is passing, age gaps growing, and no sign of anything happening, and not much chance this month. (RL friends don't understand this). My work colleague just had her baby, so cute, so happy for her but a little bit jealous.

Hi everyone

Dp is still waiting for another appointment and I'm still waiting for my appointment to come through from the hospital, I'm going to ring them tomorrow.

First af has arrived, feeling realy low at the mo. Just can't stop crying.

tumblebug Sun 06-Nov-11 23:57:59

Moomin sorry you're feeling so low, lots of hugs. It's awful just having to wait especially when you're really anxious. Hopefully your DP having to wait for an appointment is a good sign - if they were really worried he should get an appointment within 2 weeks.

I was all over the place after my miscarriage, part of it was because I was upset but hormones probably made it worse. I've had 2 AF's (warning - the first one was very long) and feel back to normal physically now, still cry sometimes (over very little) but definitely settled down - I really hope time will help you feel a bit better. You have so much going on at the moment though, hope you and your DP are still managing to support each other through this.

Good luck with the hospital tomorrow.

Mama5isalive Mon 07-Nov-11 22:14:00

Hi all - Im back!!!!internet finally ohhhhhhh it feels so good!
right big hugs to you all i missed you guys!
Moomin - trust me your feelings are so normal, i think if you didnt feel like this then something is wrong! be kind to your self and when your ready ( TTC& SWi was the last things on my mind) you can just see if it happens again for you something positive to look forwards too! trust me hold on to the good thing in your life it will help in the low, dark days!
Tumble - so glad the party went well! so your holding off the TTC for a bit or taking a more relaxed approach? wotever you decide im sure it whats right for you!
well 2 more of my friends have had there babies! and it brought it home that i would of been 32 weeks and 5 days!!!!! and would be of mat leave right now!
so feeling quite sad, low and upset that getting pregnant again has been soooooo hard!!!!!although i havent temp, charted, po-os or any thing else!
just calculating days and hoping i SWi on the right time!

sorry not feeling very strong right now!!!! just sad and weepy!!!!!

Mama5isalive Mon 07-Nov-11 22:17:44

moomin - so sorry i forgot to asked how your DP is, and how did your appointment go! feeling slightly dipsy! with info i just read!!!!!!

Hattifattener28 Tue 08-Nov-11 10:38:32

Hello ladies, Can I join? I was on the May 2012 bus but found out on Saturday (at 11 weeks) that baby had no heartbeat. I'd had bleeding at 7 weeks so was signed up to knicker checkers anonymous early on. The 7 week scan showed a heartbeat and the bleeding stopped so our hopes were high until this weekend.

I passed pretty much everything natually on Sunday. Got to go back for a scan next week to check everything has gone but I did pass the sac so hoping I'm over the worst.

DH and I are devastated and lots of tears were shed. Now feeling stronger and wanting to try again as soon as my first AF is out of the way. Hope it's not too soon to start thinking and trying again. This was our first pregnancy and we really want to start a family so keen to start TTC asap although this might sad crazy.

Sending out positive vibes and hoping today is a better day Mama and Moomin xxx

Hi Hatti

Sorry for your loss and welcome, If you are planning on trying again there is a thread in conception that I'm on called

"Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your leathers, black nail polish, air guitar and jump in the mosh pit for some serious metalling. All welcome!"

If you would like to come and join that at some point too xx

Catsycat Thu 10-Nov-11 11:00:48

Hi everyone.

Hatti, so sorry for your loss. I do understand you wanting to TTC again soon - I felt that way too. I do hope the worst of the physical stuff is over, and you can concentrate on healing emotionally.

Moomin, hope your DPs appointment comes through soon. I'm thinking of you, and hoping you will start to feel a bit better soon.

mama5 glad you have internet access again! Sorry you have been feeling low. I hope things turn around for you soon.

Tumble Glad the party went well. I do love the DCs birthdays - sooo cute! Hope the ttc pays off soon!

And last but most definitely not least Puzzletree!!! Yay!!!! So, so happy to hear your news. Do keep us updated. grin

I have my 12 week scan tomorrow. Between them, my mw and the hospital managed to mess up booking my scan (the paperwork is different in Worcs and Warks and my mw didn't know, and the hospital didn't bother to tell her!!!!). The upshot is I've booked a private scan, as otherwise I'd have had to wait till over 13 weeks, or go to the hospital with the horrid sonographer who told me I'd lost my last baby, and as I said to the mw, if I saw her again I would slap her! Am seriously feeling stressed and paranoid about, well, everything really. Actually had a panic attack over the scan booking cock up last week (I realise this is pathetic)!!!! I'm hoping all will be well tomorrow, and I'll feel better and more like I did with DD1 and DD2.... fingers crossed...

Mama5isalive Sat 12-Nov-11 12:41:20

hello ladies - firstly im so sorry for your loss Hatti, we on his thread all know how a loss of a baby so wanted feels, and some like Catsy has gotten pregnant again! how your feeling is important and its for you to discuss if you want to try straight away go for it! and im sure it will work out for you
moomin - how are you doing? glad to see your still on here getting the support from others!

still here, not yet pregnant but taking it one day at a time!and feeling good about it all now! still hard would be in the finally laps but holding onto hope!!!

Countmyblessings Thu 17-Nov-11 18:22:58

well im not feeling great and so just waiting for AF to turn up!
How are you all Puzzle & Catsy - praying all is well ith you and your lil beans!

Countmyblessings Thu 17-Nov-11 18:23:36

namechange - was known as mama5!

puzzletree Thu 17-Nov-11 20:19:52

Hello mama/count sorry you're feeling down, I really hope that AF doesn't show and you're unwell for other reasons?

Hatti I'm so sorry you ended up here, it's a horrible thing to go through, especially after an encouraging early scan. Take care of yourself and I hope you have a successful pregnancy very soon.

Catsy hope the scan went well??? sorry you've had such stress over the booking.

Moomin have you and dp had your appointments yet? hope you're ok.

Tumble any news???

I'm doing ok. Had a horrible scare at the weekend when I had bleeding and cramping and was certain the worst was happening again, managed to get a scan booked for tuesday where we were able to see a teeny tiny person with a heartbeat!!! And since then the nausea has hit me so I'm feeling more positive again, if a little sick.

EllenandBump Thu 17-Nov-11 20:36:56

I lost two babies, the first i think was a little girl who i called junior, and would be five this boxing day, and the only grand child dad would have ever seen, and the second i believe was a boy who i called little one who would be 3 come march 26th. It never leaves you and i do still think about them both, i was between 8 and 9 weeks with the first and 8 weeks 6 days with the second. I was scared stupid with bump, couldnt sleep the night before, and it didnt help with jane saying but your further than you were before, but i had had 2 delayed miscarriages so didnt know until my 12 week scan with either of them, but bump was absolutley fine and born really healthy after an easy (although long) labour. Sometimes, as hard as it is things just happen, and they all happen for a reason, although at the time you might not see that reason. It does get easier with time though.

Catsycat Mon 28-Nov-11 21:23:51

Hi newly-named count, hope you are OK. Did AF show up again (old witch!)?

Puzzle, sorry to hear about your scare. I hope things have settled now. It must have been a huge relief to see the scan.

ellen, sorry to hear of your losses.

My scan went really well, nuchal scan and bloodtest gave a risk of 1 in 3290 for Downs. Saw the baby saluting / waving, which was very cute. 24 hours later, I started getting brown spotting, which freaked me out totally. So on the Monday, I had another scan at Warwick EPU, and the baby was fine. They couldn't see any reason for the slight bleed. It did continue on and off for a few days, but has totally stopped now. I also had swabs taken in case an infection had caused it, but the GP hasn't been in touch, so I imagine they didn't find anything. Starting to feel less sick now, at 14 weeks, just still having aversions to lots of foods (except all the unhealthy ones!). Really looking forward to feeling definite movements, and the next scan, as I'm starting to panic a bit again, but I guess that's just normal after a loss.

Hope everyone else is doing OK.

Countmyblessings Tue 29-Nov-11 18:38:31

so nice to hear from you catsycat - glad all is going well for you and that you have had good scans!!!! yehhhhhhh!
have you joined any other threads or are you staying off here for a while!how about you puzzle are you on any threads on here sharing it all with others!
hipe you are getting loads of support and just taking it one day at a time!
keep us posted!
Ellen-sorry to here of your losses. how are you doing?

im still not pregnant but taken each day as new,have highs and lows today was low!but i hope tomo will be a high!!!!!

puzzletree Fri 02-Dec-11 08:42:31

Hi all,

ellen sorry to hear about your miscarriages, glad you had a successful pregnancy too. Thanks for your perspective from further down the line, I can see that this is something we'll all never forget.
catsy glad all's going well and the sickness is easing, hope you get no more scares, feel the baby move soon, and just have a nice smooth ride for the rest of your pregnancy.
count sorry you're still on a rollercoaster, really hope you get a bfp soon.

I'm now 9 weeks and although I'm nervous as this was when I miscarried last time, I am feeling so sick and tired which I'm taking as a good sign (had lost symptoms before this point last time). Wishing away the weeks until a scan, no date yet but it should be around Christmas time, if only I could focus myself to use this time productively to sort out presents etc! I'm on the July 2012 antenatal thread where people are lovely, though a few ladies are having bleeds right now which is making me quite scared on their behalf sad.
Take care all, I'll try remember to pop back with updates.

tumblebug Fri 02-Dec-11 23:48:53

Hi! Good to hear how you're all getting on. Puzzle feeling sick and tired sounds 'good'! It must be so hard waiting for a scan. If I get pregnant again I don't think I could bear waiting that long, guess I would have to go private though. A normal scan would be the best Christmas present anyway so no need to worry about the rest! (I guess your DC's may not see it that way though).
Catsy glad your scans went well. I hope the spotting has stayed away, and that you have a nice and soon to be wriggly bump!
Count Sorry that you aren't pregnant yet. Hope you're havng lots of high days and not too many lows. Do you have plans to look forward to over the holidays? I know nothing will fill the gap, with due dates coming up, but I find spending time with family (especially DS of course!) distracts me and reminds me how much there is to be happy about.
Hatti a belated hello. I hope you are recovering physically, and starting to heal emotionally as well. I understand the strong drive to be pregnant again, I felt the same. Enjoy eating blue cheese, runny eggs and drinking again while you can though - little consolation, but allowing yourself to feel 'normal' again might help, especially if you aren't lucky enough to get pregnant immediately.
Ellen thanks for sharing your experience with us, hope you are OK. Something we'll never forget, but glad you went on to have a healthy pregnancy.
Moomin any news?

As for me - not much news really. Still not pregnant (the SWI isn't quite going to plan so not much hope this month either) getting used to it though and thinking about buying some new clothes. (somehow something I don't feel I can justify while TTCing - but it's been over 7 months since we started, and even longer planning). eating lots of really nice smelly cheeses, including some brought back from a trip to Belgium. Was a really good weekend away, DS was on great form and even slept well on the ferry - it was the first time we've taken him abroad.

starting to obsess a bit about the fact I'm not pregnant though, due date getting closer and lots of bumps everywhere. Not sure how I'll take it if friends with much younger babies than DS start getting pregnant - that might be too much for me.

Countmyblessings Fri 09-Dec-11 20:12:38

hi all - hope all is well!
gone quiet on her but i hope all is well with you all!

having a bit of a awful day! well we had to put in our christmas leave dates and i really want certain days off as one is my due day and i would rather not be at work! my manager said i may have to work if not enough cover!!!!! angry
WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT i was so close to tears thinking this would not be an issue and i would of been on mat leave just chilling!!!!
Vent - and -Breath!!!!!!!! sad

tumblebug Mon 19-Dec-11 22:00:08

Hi all, it is very quiet here, I hope that means everyone is busy preparing for Christmas, and moving on (although never forgetting our lost little ones).

Count sorry you're having a rough time, I hope you got the time off you needed, and your due date passes (or passed) calmly, and as easily as it can. Thinking of you.

Wanted to let you know that I seem to be pregnant again (about 5 weeks). I'm so pleased, but also terrified, and not feeling very 'pregnant' yet. Trying to be positive, I know there's no reason to think things won't work out. I will definitely be having an early scan (even if I have to pay). The day I found out, I heard a work colleague lost their little one at 21 weeks, so desperately sad for them.

puzzletree Mon 19-Dec-11 22:25:32

Hello tumblebug, congratulations!!!!!! smile Hope this little one stays safe for you.

Count I hope you're ok lovely, sorry you're going to have such a tough Christmas with all the memories and sad thoughts sad

I'm 11 weeks now, heard a heartbeat at midwife appointment the other week so feeling ok, but still very anxious for the scan which is a week on wednesday. I don't think I'll relax until I can feel a baby wriggling around on a regular basis.

Hope everyone else is getting on ok, sadly there were some losses on my new pregnancy thread and I am thinking of them lots, wondering if they are reading through this thread and hoping our stories make them feel less alone and give them hope for the future.

Congratulations tumble

So I finally rang about my post natal and have been told it will be sometime in the new year

Dp is fine lumps are cysts!

We haven't started ttc yet, we will be having a talk about it tonight as the older dc's are out. We have a holiday booked in feb for my sisters 30th which we wouldn't have been able to go too as Jacob was due the week before, so didn't want to start ttc again and miss it as dc's are looking fwd to us all going now

Countmyblessings Tue 27-Dec-11 17:24:02

Huge - Congratulations Tumble - what a lovely Christmas present! enjoy!
im feeling all you guys have fallen pregnant and im just still here waiting!
due date tomorrow so as you could imagine feeling really down and just thinking maybe i would of had my baby by now or labour ward now - I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS and feel so flipping stupid about it all im blessed as i have DC but the loss inside just hurts so much!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry to go on about it - need to vent it out!

tumblebug Wed 28-Dec-11 23:55:05

Hi all, thanks for the congratulations! I can't feel happy or excited yet, such a long way to go, but the bfp is a necessary step.

count so sorry you're having a difficult time, I really hope you've had lots of love and support to help you through today. However blessed we are (and I look at my life and know how very lucky I am), the need to nurture a baby is so integral to who we are that we can't just block it out. I'm sure it will happen again for you soon. however we will never forget our losses.

moomin good news about dp. enjoy your holiday and time out from ttc.

puzzletree glad all is going well. I think I'll book a scan in a couple of weeks, so hard not knowing what 's going on. Like you, I can't imagine I'll feel relaxed for a while though.

puzzletree Thu 29-Dec-11 22:55:27

Hi again everyone. I had my 12 week scan yesterday and everything is looking good. The baby was wriggling around and the perfect size for dates, due the day after DS2s 4th birthday smile Started to tell people now and feeling more confident, though am really looking forward to feeling some reassuring regular movements. Hope all is going well catsy with your pregnancy? And tumble how many weeks are you now? 7? Hope you're feeling ok, reassuringly ill yet?

Count I hope you got through yesterday ok. All your feelings are totally understandable, you had so much invested in the baby that didn't make it sad. I really really hope that 2012 brings happier times and a BFP for you.

And finally moomins so pleased that your DP is ok, that must be a huge relief. Hope you get your appointment soon and get a good plan of action in place, holiday in feb sounds very appealling smile

puzzle glad everything was ok with the scan. They have assured me that the appointment will come in the new year.

We have had an offer accepted on a house today! I'm realy looking fwd to a new start, and having the extra bedroom for ds3

Angelgirl79 Mon 09-Jan-12 14:35:58

Hi is this thread still active? If so id really like to join. I had a mc in June and my dd would have been today. Sat in work feeling very sorry for myself and cant concentrate. Had hoped to be pg by now but sadly not. No one else seems to remember it was today and DH is working away. Just looking for somewhere to offload and to share with people who really do understand and not say but at least you know you can get pregnant and everything happens for a reason :-( x

Hi angel sorry for your loss, I think it's still active but quiet

This one is active I'm on both, hope today isn't too bad for you, Jacobs due date is comming up (4weeks) I'm dreading it x

Angelgirl79 Mon 09-Jan-12 15:21:40

Thanks Moomin I found this one too thanks. I am bearing up but its difficult, I just feel very empty today. I hope you get through Jacobs due date in 4 wks and Im sorry for your loss. x

tumblebug Wed 11-Jan-12 22:13:50

Hi, hope everyone's OK. Angel glad you found somewhere to chat, due date must have been so difficult. Mine is coming up, like you say no-one seems to remember, it's the day before DNiece's birthday, DH has been busy making plans for that and I feel a bit sad because we should have been busy.

Moomin good news re the house.

I am having a private scan tomorrow, should be 8+4, so nervous but we want to know sooner rather than later if there's a problem.

Countmyblessings Thu 26-Jan-12 17:38:42

Hi all - sorry for the lack of talk but so many of us have gone onto other threads due to different reasons! this thread was a lifeline for me and as i approached my due date (28/12/11) it was real hard for me to deal! also the added fact of me still not pregnant and trying to not become obsessed with it all!!!!!
im so sorry for your loss Angel and i know how tough the DD(DUEDATE) was for me so i cant imagine how it was for you also! and everyone has just moved on and im still in limbo just wating, praying, wishing that i will fall pregnant again real soon! I finally spoke again to my DH and he is fully on board of us trying as he was just in this if it happens it happens mode before so i was alone in the 2ww and when AF came i was heartbroken like i lost another but i didnt all it was is another month of me waiting!!!!! i have not bought any kits ov-ing stcks or the CBFM as yet as i feel like i will be putting to much though and pressure on myself and DH to perform and get it right all the time! and i dont want that at all
How are you doing Tumble??? i hope the scan goes well or went well!!!!
i miss the old crew You, Catsy but i guess now being pregnant you have moved on to a pregnancy thread and are sharing feelings and all that good stuff!!!!!
i was so close in looking on my old thread jan 2012 but decided not too as i still feel sad that im not on there talking about my labour and how my baby is now sleeping and feeding! but im very happy for them all.

Angel - be kind to yourself and get support from your partner and family! and i also find writing my feelings down really help, in time i will read it back and feel happy that im not in the same place i was month before!!!!!
i will be checking on here more now i see the old faces and new ones popping on here!

tumblebug Fri 27-Jan-12 22:56:41

Hi Count, it's nice coming back to this thread sometimes, you were all such a support to me at a really difficult time. I'm so sorry you aren't pregnant again yet. It's good you managed to tell your DH how you feel - the 2ww/ AF can be so hard, hopefully you'll feel less alone now. I'm sure it will happen for you again, and I hope you believe that too, but it must be so hard waiting.

My scan went well thanks - saw a heart beat and a wriggly blob, couldn't make out much more than that. Measured 8+0, paranoid that it should have been bigger, but I know they can't measure that accurately at that stage (or my dates might be wrong - but the EWCM was convincing!). So I know the odds are in my favour now, and this was much further on than when the last baby stopped growing, but I'm still half waiting for things to go wrong. I have my nuchal scan next week, if that's OK I hope I'll be able to relax more and start telling people. (Have only told a couple of close friends who were really supportive after my MC, I know I would want to talk to them whatever happens).

Going on holiday next week, can't wait, but a bit nervous 'cos last time I went on holiday I was also 11 weeks pregnant but came home not pregnant.

I can't bring myself to move to a pregnancy thread yet, been lurking a bit, it's so busy over there. Maybe after my scan. Been hiding a bit in the freak-out room.

Hope everyone else is OK, please pop in and let us know how you're doing if you get a chance!

Countmyblessings Sat 28-Jan-12 18:56:12

OOOHHHHHHH Tumblebug - its so great to hear from you and letting us know know what your dealing with! glad your scan brought some comfort too you at this early stage and i hope you go on hold enjoy relax and feel wonderful about just enjoying this pregnancy although its understandable why you maybe fearful! share your feelings and take one day at a time!
yeh another month and another chance to try so onwards and upwards and holding onto HOPE which I'm so thankful for!
pls keep in touch as i can't go onto pregnancy threads yet so will never know how its all going!
still no hear from the others but i do pray all is well xxxx

puzzletree Wed 01-Feb-12 10:26:50

Hi everyone. Just popping on because today would have been my due date with the baby that died sad. Feeling quite sad about that but also feeling so very lucky and thankful to be pregnant again with his/her little sister or brother.
Really glad to read that all is going well for you tumblebug, pregnancy is just so worrying isn't it, just a protection mechanism though as we all know how awful it is when things go wrong. But fingers crossed all is ok this time, for both of us. Hope you manage to enjoy your holiday.
Count sorry you're still in limbo, I really hope that your BFP is just round the corner, you deserve another chance so much.
Angel I'm so sorry for your experience too, hope you're getting on ok,
and Moomin wishing you lots of strength to get through Jacob's due date.

count I don't know if yove joined a conception thread, or if youd even want to but I'm on this one
Everyone is lovely

tumble glad scan went well, hope you can enjoy your holiday

puzzle thinking of you today, and glad everything is going well with your pg

Countmyblessings Mon 06-Feb-12 12:32:29

thanks Moomin I'm on a plane at the moment and the ladies are lovely and we are getting good bfp results each month! feeling more positive this month just can't stand the long waiting ohhhh and the changing cycles from 28 to 33!

hope everyone else is good and looking after themselves!

holls2000 Sun 26-Feb-12 17:47:46

Hey there, I had a spot on the September bus but would love to hop onto this bus, if that's ok? xx

Countmyblessings Mon 27-Feb-12 22:42:20

Hi Hols2000 - sorry to see u off your bus to be on another one not quite the same! I found this thread such a huge help still as coming to grips of my loss and now new hope in getting pregnant again!
Thought it would be easier but my gosh it's sooooo not! And is so draining month after month but that's what mn is for airing and sharing more then you want to in RL!!!!!
I pray all those who are pregnant are doing well and those of us still trying with hope! Let's hang on in there are chance will soon come!
Dealing with a recent loss is hard but support from loved ones helps you get through! Looking forwards to seeing 2ines real soon!

Catsycat Tue 28-Feb-12 20:44:58

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't been around for ages. I haven't been on MN at all since before Christmas, so I wasn't ignoring you lot - honest! I just found I was really getting stressed about something going wrong, and MN was feeding that paranoia somehow. As it got to the EDD for the baby I lost, I just felt I'd stay away for a bit (as well as various distractions going on that needed attending to...).

Anyway, all is well here. I'm 27 weeks and feeling lots of kicking and wriggling, which is reassuring and lovely. I have a growth scan on tuesday, when they will also check if the placenta has moved up (it's was low lying at the last scan). I will also ask them to check the sex again - last scan they said it was another girl, but they weren't 100%. I want to check again before buying wallpaper for the nursery....

puzzletree and tumblebug - how are you doing? I hope everything is going really well.

count sorry you are doing it tough right now. I really hope things turn around for you soon.

hols and angel - I'm glad you found the thread, and I hope it will help you, though I'm so sorry for the losses that led you here.

I hope everyone else is doing well. I've been thinking of you all, even though I've not been on here.

Countmyblessings Wed 29-Feb-12 11:14:02

Catsycat - its so wonderful to hear from you, (dont worry about the lack of not being on her i understand!) even i had to take a huge step back as more and more lovely ladies started getting pregnant and im still her hoping it will be me real soon! i had to stop coming on here asit was not helping me as much as i thought and i started getting upset that everyone else's body was playing ball and they got bfp as my hope got dashed month after month when af arrived!
im so glad that all is well with lil bean moving and kicking thats wonderful! and i am really really happy for you!
loss is hard and moving on with a fresh new look at hope and a baby to look forwards to is wonderful!
pop in and updates on how u are will be great! im sure very soon i will be sharing my good news too!

Catsycat Wed 29-Feb-12 19:46:57

Thanks Count. Hang in there - fx for you to get some good news soon. x

onedayatatime73 Sat 03-Mar-12 20:03:08

Hello can I please join? I was on the October 2012 bus but miscarried last weekend at 8 weeks. I has an ERPC on Tuesday, and am just starting to get myself together. It came as such a shock, and I had no idea how physically and emotionally devastating a mc would be.

Please be gentle with me as I am struggling with how upset and hurt I feel, but I have lots of questions an would be really grateful for some advice and some positive stories.

I know it will be different for everyone, but what happened to people's cycles following mc. Ie did you count mc as first day of cycle (as you would AF) and then did you ovulate two weeks later? Or does it all completely change?

Did you wait a cycle before ttc? And for those who didn't wait, did you conceive?

If it was your first mc, did you seek any expert medical advice to try and find out why it had happened, or did you accept it as bad luck ad just move on?

And following mc, did you start eating or taking anything (vitamins etc) rumoured to enhance fertility?

Sorry for so many questions. I am struggling to know who to ask these things, and what I need right now more than anything in the world is some hope for the future that I will get pregnant again and go in to have a baby. I don't want to feel like this forever.

I am 38, and I have a 3 year old dc

Sorry to post such a long message first time

LittleSpade Tue 06-Mar-12 13:37:27

Hi everyone, I was on the September 2012 bus with holls2000 but recently lost my seat.

Went for my dating scan at 12+4 only to be told i'd had a MMC. The sac was about 2.5cm long but appeared empty. Me and DH were utterly shocked to say the least as I'd had absolutely no bleeding and still had pregnancy symptoms. But now wondering how much of it was in my head?!

Just feel so sad but also utterly cheated and like i've wasted 3 months of my life. All my plans and excitement have gone out the window and there's now no-way i can have a 2012 baby. Had originally wanted one in 2011 but had to wait to ttc as i was made redundant. And its so hard no knowing whether this'll happen again next time.

Sonographer took us up to the EPU where they did various tests and then we sat down to talk to a doctor - basically gave us the option of go home and wait for miscarriage to occur naturally, or have operation. She seemed to think the miscarriage would occur within 2 weeks but i don't understand why if it's not happened so far! Anyone any experience of this? Anyone know anything i can do to try to speed the process up? She made the operation sound quite hazardous. I have a follow up scan in 2 weeks if nothing has happened but if it has they'll cancel that and just get me to do a pregnancy test with the intention of it being negative.

I also have so many questions - very similar to onedayatatime if anyone has any answers/suggestions.

Countmyblessings Wed 07-Mar-12 23:02:33

firstly can i just say how very sorry that you have found yourself in this situation - coming off a bus knowing that so manys journey will still continue.
onedayatatime & Littlespade - my thoughts are with you.

i dont know how to answer you questions as im still ttc and i had my loss in june2011- i have not entered the CBFM or temping crew just yet trying to pinpoint my oving days by my body and calculating it! and trying to be active ttc on those days upto know no joy but with me being so relaxed and my DH not wanted to get obessed and having the approach of "it will happen when it happens" not my approach but what else can i do!
i have not done anything different as i am just relaxing and stepping back from most of the conception threads i was on a few! ( didnt help so many getting there BFP) and me feeling left behind!
when i found out i had a MMC i decided not to let it drag out and had the op it was over quickly had no major problems after and my period returned quite quickly after i guess i wished i knew it would maybe would of ttc straight away but i was quite emotional and that was the last thing i was thinking of!
i never found out why i accepted it happens and nothing i did wrong! ( thinking about it too much is self destroying)
being here really helped me as i struggled and just knowing i was not alone helped alot!

i pray that you take what ever works for you and i also talked alot to dh and wrote a feelings diary looking back im so much better about it all and dont cry anymore!
not over just dealing better!
hugs xxxxx

puzzletree Sun 11-Mar-12 23:53:27

Hi everyone. Just thought I'd pop on to see how you're all doing. So sorry hols2000 onedayatatime and littlespade that you've ended up here too. Take good care of yourselves.

In answer to your Qs oneday I miscarried at 9 weeks and had my first period pretty much exactly 4 weeks afterwards. We didn't ttc in that first cycle, I bled for a while and then we were both still in shock really so thought we'd wait. Then it took 3 cycles to get pregnant again, no idea if I was ovulating in cycles prior to that. It was my first mc, and it was a natural mc, we never knew the cause, but I have 2 children already so it was presumed to be 'one of those things' ie a developmental problem with the baby or placenta. I didn't take anything specifically to enhance fertility but continued with pregnancy vitamins and took extra iron (spatone) because of all the bleeding.

Lovely to hear that all is going well for you Catsy, a girl how lovely! I'm 23 weeks now, and we decided to find out the sex at the 20 week scan as our DS2 was convinced it was a boy and I didn't want him to be disappointed. Anyway he was right! So I'll have 3 boys, seriously outnumbered smile. Feeling huge but happy.

Really wish you all the best of luck in getting through life after mc, and having successful future pregnancies. Count I will keep on checking back here and will be ecstatic for you when you get that elusive BFP, fingers crossed for you as ever xxx

Catsycat Mon 12-Mar-12 10:21:15

Hi oneday and littlespade. Sorry you have wound up here, but hoping that the thread will help you like it has me, even just a little bit.

In terms of questions about what heppens next etc, this was my experience:

I'm 38 with 2 DDs. I mc last year at 10 weeks, having found out the pg was not viable at 9 weeks from a scan. I had very bad bleeding and an A&E admission. My cervix did not dilate to let out the mc, so I had to have the EPRC (the operation) to remove the remains of my baby, and stop the bleeding. There are risks to the operation, but these have to be weighed against the benefits of it - for me, the main benefit was that it stopped the bleeding, which outweighed anything else. I found the operation was the most bearable part of the whole experience, to be honest, as at least I knew it was all over, however horrible that was IYSWIM. The EPU should be able to advise you about the risks, also the Miscarriage Association website was one I found very good for factual, sensitively written information.

I counted the ERPC as the first day of my cycle, and my period did start roughly at the correct time (about 22 days later I think, and I have a 23 day cycle). Although I decided to chart my temp following the ERPC (I had not been doing this before) we didn't ttc the first month, because we wanted to be able to date any pg very accurately. The first period I had was not quite normal looking either, sorry if TMI, but very mucousy and odd.

The following month, we did ttc, but I had a chemical pregancy, which was obviously very upsetting too.

The next month (still charting temps, and now doing Ovulation sticks too), I got a BFP, and am now 29 weeks, with everything going well. So, my ERPC was right at the end of June, and I was pg again at the end of August. I was very lucky.

I had wondered if I had a short luteal phase, as my cycle is only 23 days, and I was ovulating round day 14/15. My GP (who is very nice indeed) was going to try doing some basic tests, and maybe refer me to a consultant after I had the CP, but I got pg before this could happen. I did apply a progesterone cream to my abdomen/thigh for the first trimester, because of this worry, but this was a bit of self-medication based on internet research, not on any "real" medical advice. I wouldn't advise anyone to do that just because I did!!!! I can't prove it did or didn't work, but it certainly hasn't done any harm. The use of progesterone, and the idea of a short luteal phase, does seem to divide medical opinion a bit... The only other thing I did was keep on taking Pregnacare, which I had been taking during the pg I lost, and which I am still taking now.

I found that there was not much willingness to perform tests as to why the mc happened, until you have 3 mc. My GP was going to try to get tests done on my progesterone levels, but only because I had charts showing that my cycle was slightly unusual.

Recovering is a long road. I have been so nervous during this pg, which I know is due to the mc. I still feel really sad about the baby we lost.

I hope this helps, and wasn't too detailed for what you wanted to know.

Puzzle, glad everything is going well. 3 boys! Are we balancing each other out or something???

Count still thinking of you, still have fx for a BFP for you.

Countmyblessings Sat 21-Apr-12 01:03:51

BFP here!!!!! Whhhhhhhhooooooopppppppp!

Congratulations count x

Catsycat Tue 24-Apr-12 16:17:24

count, I'm so happy for you! Sending you a massive hug!!! Do you know how far along you are? What great news!

puzzletree Wed 25-Apr-12 11:25:02

Popped on here to see what was going on and WOW Count amazing news!!!!! So excited for you and have everything crossed, you deserve this so much x

Hope everyone else is getting on ok. I'm 30 weeks now, can't believe it smile
Catsy you must be on the home stretch now, exciting!

Catsycat Wed 25-Apr-12 13:45:20

Hi Puzzle. Hope you are well. I'm 35 weeks now, and we booked the date for the ELCS yesterday - it will be on 21st May. Feeling very heavy and tired now, but still have loads to get done before the baby arrives!

tumblebug Sat 28-Apr-12 11:52:55

Hi! Just had some really sad news about someone I know who has just lost her little twins at 18 weeks, and it made me think of you all and all the support I had here, so popped back to see how you all are - so lovely to see so much good news.

Count congratulations! So happy for you, really hope all works out (no reason it shouldn't!), keep us informed!

Puzzletree and Catsy glad all is going well, so exciting that you're going to meet your babies soon!

I'm nearly 24 weeks (seems like a big milestone somehow), all going well, big bump - strangers asking when I'm due, August still sounds like such a long way away though. Feeling much happier now I can feel the baby moving (much more wriggly than DS).

Catsycat Sun 29-Apr-12 09:38:40

Hi tumble. Lovely to hear from you, though sorry to hear about your friend's twins - very sad.

I'm glad all is going well with the baby. This baby also seems rather more, well, violent than her sisters! DH was laughing at the movement in my bump yesterday, and putting his hand on it, at which DD1 said "I want a go!" - rather like being one of her toys really! I've got 3 weeks to go now, and can't believe how far in the future May once seemed - my to do list is huge!!! I'm sure August will be here really soon!

puzzletree Mon 30-Apr-12 20:35:09

Oh tumble that's so sad about your friend sad
Glad all is going well with your pregnancy. Took me a while to feel movements this time too due to an anterior placenta. He's making up for it now though! It's such an amazing feeling to have a whole new person growing in there, feel very lucky. Hope everyone else who has suffered a mc gets another chance too....

Countmyblessings Wed 02-May-12 22:24:34

Hi all - I'm off yet another bus!!!!!went on Monday for a routine scan due to my history to be told I have a pregnancie in a unknown location!
Prepped for surgery had to remove 7 week baby and my tube!
In total shock!!!!!! At home recovering!!!!
Seems just rotten that this happened on the 30th April the day I got my positive last year for the other baby I lost at 12 weeks!
3 losses now! The odds don't look great but I'm holding onto hope for a another try real soon! All my love and prayers to a baby filled future for us all xxxx

I'm so sorry count, <hugs> xx

puzzletree Wed 02-May-12 23:36:39

Oh no Count, so so sad to hear this sad Hope you recover from the op quickly, I'm sure the emotional healing will take time, be good to yourself.... xxx

Catsycat Thu 03-May-12 14:00:20

Oh Count, how awful for you. I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself, and let DH and the DCs look after you. xxx

tumblebug Thu 03-May-12 22:34:43

Count so sorry to hear that, it seems so unfair. Hope you're getting lots of love and support at home.

Countmyblessings Thu 10-May-12 22:52:19

Thank you - dealing and healing 1 day at a time!
been here before and it hurts so much more!
Crying at pamper, clearblue adverts!!! I feel so fragile hurting, it's a shame after the op they didn't remove my emotions too!

Catsycat Fri 11-May-12 20:29:22

Sending you a hug, count, have been thinking of you.

Countmyblessings Sun 13-May-12 20:10:06

It's really hard, some of you got pregnant earlier on in this thread and I can't imagine how hard it has been second guessing every pain!
Just as I thought it was my time to be happy again!
It's been taken away! Feeling down today!
Hope tomorrow's better!

zoeymlucas Wed 16-May-12 20:26:10

I lost my seat on the Xmas day bus last week and am so glad I have found this site to talk to people and share my feelings

Catsycat Wed 16-May-12 20:43:37

Hi zoey. Sorry you have experienced this loss, but I hope we can help. I know it was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with when I had a mc last year. I hope you're getting RL support too, and taking the time you need to start working through your grief. Come back and talk if you would like to.

zoeymlucas Thu 17-May-12 10:50:14

i dont think I am actually dealing with it yet I was at work the next day and am just trying to keep going as I feel as soon as I stop it will really hit me. My hubby is trying bless him but cant seem to say the right thing he just thinks we start trying again and as much as I really want to part of me feels that trying to replace it which isnt the right way to do things

Catsycat Thu 17-May-12 17:31:11

You have to do what is right for you - it's different for everyone. I get what you're saying about stopping, and then it hitting you, but be careful not to exhaust yourself. I think it will hit you at some point whatever you do... you probably know that though. Your DH sounds like he wants to be there for you, maybe he would like to talk about it too?

I got pg again quite quickly, and part of me did wonder if it was some sort of betrayal of the baby we lost. But the fact remained that I got pg because I wanted another baby, and that desire hadn't changed. The baby we lost has it's own nickname, we planted a plant for it in the garden which flowers when the baby would have been born, I have a charm bracelet with charms on it for each of my 2 children so we bought one to remember the baby by too, I have a folder of all the things (paperwork, scans, etc) from that pregnancy, and we still talk about the baby. So I feel as though we commemorated the baby in some way, and that it had it's own identity, and that did/does help me. I am having an ELCS on monday, and I know when I meet my new DD, that I have the baby I lost to thank for the opportunity to meet her.

I don't really know if any of this rambling helps, and I'm really sorry if it doesn't, but I guess I'm just trying to explain how it was for me. It's very early for you still - in no way am I saying you should be moving on or getting pg again yet, or that what worked for me is the right way for anyone else. I was very emotional and wobbly for a good while after the mc - it was the first and last thing I thought about every day for a good while, and I do still think of it a lot.

I hope things get easier for you soon. Take care x

Countmyblessings Fri 18-May-12 02:48:52

Ohhhhh Zoey- I am so sorry that you have lost your place on the December thread, I was also on the same on and because of my history didn't want to add my details to the list until confirmed!
It was another ectopic and now I'm recovering from surgery and trying to deal with the main fact that I have list yet another child I so badly wanted!!!
Please come here- rant, asked questions, share feelings as much or as little as you want! That why we r here!!
Ohhhh Catsy- I'm so excited for you!!! Keep here updated!

wifey6 Fri 18-May-12 07:38:38

Hello everyone....not sure if this is the right place...feeling very lost after MMC 3.5 weeks ago. sad I guess I'm just looking for some kind MNetters to point me in the right direction please.

Catsycat Fri 18-May-12 11:43:09

Hi wifey. I'm very sorry for your loss. If you want to talk about how you're feeling, or what happened, then we'll be happy to listen and help if we can.

wifey6 Fri 18-May-12 12:26:18

Thank you catsycat...if no-one minds I think I will off load a little please
Went for a routine 12 week scan to be told out baby had stopped growing at 7.4 indication there was anything wrong. Such a shock. Booked for the op on the Thursday..but on the Tuesday nature took its course & my baby became an angel. Now laid to rest. I feel I am lost in this whole situation. Having to be strong for my DS- 22 months & my husband when the whole time I am breaking inside. sad
I am so sorry for everyone's losses on this's so incredibly cruel. sad sad

Catsycat Fri 18-May-12 13:58:23

wifey, what a horrible shock that must have been. I also found out about my mmc at a scan, and I remember how awful I found it.

Have you talked to anyone in RL about it? What about DH or friends?

I found it helped to talk (and I soon found out lots of my mum friends had been through similar experiences, and were ready to offer support). I really leaned on DH, and my 2 DDs did see me cry on a few occasions (they weren't overly worried by this tbh, I told them I just felt unwell, but would be OK soon). I'm certainly not qualified to advise you, but I wouldn't worry about staying strong if it means you are bottling your feelings up. I know there is an element of having to get on with certain things each day, but other than that I tried to take things easy, and work through what I was feeling one day at a time, and letting those emotions out was part of that. Even writing things down (on MN, and personal writing too) helped let things out and process them a bit. I don't know if this makes sense - as I said in an earlier post, everyone is different, and what I found helpful may well not be for you.

Hope you will come back to talk if you would like to, and I do hope things become easier for you in time.

wifey6 Fri 18-May-12 14:04:12

Thank you so much...I feel safe on MN...surrounded by the kindness. So sorry for your loss. sad My mum & two best friends have been incredible. DH doesn't talk about things...bottles everything up so my grieving is done in private or on MN. sad

Countmyblessings Fri 18-May-12 21:26:02

Wifey- I am so sorry for your recent loss as Catsy said feel free to share and off load as much as you need! I totally understand how awful it is to go for a scan and too be told bad and awful news!
It's happened twice once at my 12 week scan last year June and more recently April I went along for a confirm scan to be told it was yet another ectopic and I needed surgery!!!! I have cried alone on my hubby shoulder on my close friends and with every tear I feel so much better not totally healed but when I talk about it I don't cry!!!!! Not strong just coping, we as women are so strong we just don't think so!
Share those feelings I also wrote it down looking back I'm do glad I did as I'm not where I was but I still have more to come!
I also ordered a book on line that helped!!!! My faith also helps me heal!
Praying for us all xxxx

Countmyblessings Fri 18-May-12 21:26:36

I'm " so" glad!

wifey6 Fri 18-May-12 21:45:14

count...I think I might have seen your sorry for your losses....hope you are recovering well after surgery.
I have my beliefs..which are keeping me a bit more in control of things...
I wish I could remember who said it..but someone posted on a thread that you must except a part of you will always be sad...I truly believe have stopped fighting it. sad

Catsycat Sat 19-May-12 10:45:23

wifey, ime that's true - the sadness of the experience becomes part of who you are, and I think it will always be there. What has happened for me is that other feelings gradually came to the forefront, until I felt pretty much normal again most of the time, and the sadness has gone into the background. It's still there, but not consuming me all the time. Sometimes events can make it come back again, quite painfully, but not for as long or as sharply as the original feelings. It's hard to explain, but hope you can see what I mean. My loss was at the end of June last year, and it did take a long time to feel better. I hope with time, that the biggest part of you won't be sad any more. There was a time I didn't believe that would be true for me. I think you're right not to fight it - that makes you very brave imo. Thinking of you x

Catsycat Sat 19-May-12 10:50:01

Count I'm glad to hear you are coping. You definitely are a strong woman, whether you admit it or not!!! I'm glad your faith, DH and friends are supporting you. Your support and that of others on this thread has made such a difference to me in dealing with my own loss. xx

wifey6 Sat 19-May-12 12:08:00

catsycat....thank you...everything you have said makes sense & I appreciate our wise words.

Countmyblessings Sat 19-May-12 16:38:25

Thanks Catsy- I'm so happy that very soon (monday right)you will be holding you much wanted baby!!!!
Please come back and share.
Just a bit gutted that I'm still here waiting to get pregnant while most of the old crew are on the straight and see the finish line!
Praying it will be mine and others waiting time real soon!!

wifey6 Sat 19-May-12 17:44:02

Oo exciting that you will be holding your baby in your arms Monday. Sending you all my best wishes for Monday.

Catsycat Sat 19-May-12 21:52:28

Thanks wifey and count - that means a lot.

tumblebug Sat 19-May-12 22:17:46

Wifey and Zoey so sorry for your losses. I found talking about it here, and in RL, really helped. Like Catsy said, I'll never forget, my loss will always be there, but I am focusing on the future. At my brother's wedding a couple of weeks ago, I was so happy to be there with DH, DS and my lovely bump, but a little bit of me was thinking that I might have been there with a little baby. But then it wouldn't have been this baby, who I am so looking forward to meeting.

Count been thinking of you, I hope you are starting to heal. I really hope and believe it will be your turn soon, but sorry it's such a long journey for you.

Catsy best wishes for Monday, look forward to hearing your news!

I'm 26 weeks now, and finally starting to get my head around the fact there'll hopefully be a baby at the end of this, and starting to look forward to new baby cuddles. It's amazing how much my mc has affected my confidence and enjoyment in this pregnancy, I think I have been protecting myself by not thinking about it too much.

wifey6 Sat 19-May-12 22:31:41

tumblebug....that's wonderful about your pregnancy. I feel petrified at the thought of another pregnancy as this was a missed sign there was anything wrong. I couldn't go in to another pregnancy with fear in my heart. sad
I am missing my baby...What I should of been doing at this many weeks- we should of had midwife this week. DH is oblivious to me struggling emotionally...sad
Sorry...rambling now x

tumblebug Sun 20-May-12 00:00:04

Thanks Wifey. I was only a few days from my 12 week scan when I started bleeding. I had an early scan this time, and was so nervous that they would find nothing, only started to relax a bit after 20 week scan and when feeling regular movements, but still frightened of something going wrong. I knew rationally that the chances were it would be OK. I'm sure you'll know when you're ready to try again.

It's natural to miss your baby - you were bonding and planning for a new little person for all those weeks. My DH was equally oblivious (outwardly at least). To be fair, I probably didn't say much either. Not sure if he even remembered the due date. Sounds like you need lots of hugs from your DH....

Not long now then catsy good luck

Wow tumble 26 weeks, where has the time gone!

count I'm still waiting too, although we didn't realy start ttc until after what should have been Jacobs due date in feb. Fingers x it will happen for all of us soon.

zoeymlucas Mon 21-May-12 09:44:34

Really grateful for the support on here its really made me sit back and think and finally let it all sink in! And I can finally admit that I need to go back to doctor and talk to someone as my defence mechanisims have slowly but surely come back in my life since my MC. Keeping it brief I had a hip replacement in 2009 and was sexually assulted by a member of staff in theatre recovery who was sent to prison for 5 years (but comes out next month after 2). After this I stopped going out and couldnt put myself in situations where I wasnt in 100% control or I felt vunrable.
Since my MC I blamed my self that I couldnt control it and there was nothing I could do to stop it so I have slowly gone back in my shell and started stying in and avoiding people and places!

Also With my medical condition (have an incompetiant cervix so my 2 DS's were born at 28 and 33 weeks after AWFUL pregnancies) I sort of blamed myslef that not only could I not control it and protect my baby it was because I physically cant do it! But being on here I realise its not my fault its something that happens to so many people but we just dont talk about it on a day to day basis.

Catsycat Mon 21-May-12 21:21:37

Zuleika Seren was born by elcs at 10:06 today. We're both doing well. Feeling very lucky to have her.

zoey just read your post, and so sorry to hear what you've been through. Hope you can find a way to work through it...

wifey6 Mon 21-May-12 21:26:20

catsycat...congratulations!!! I have checked the thread a few times today to see if there was any news. I am so happy for you. You cherish & enjoy every second..bear

Countmyblessings Mon 21-May-12 21:40:26

Congratulations, congratulations wonderful news to finally get on this thread!!! Lovely name also! Enjoy all the baby cuddles and big cyber kiss from me!!!! Please keep checking in although I know how hard it is with a newborn!!!!!
All the best xxxx

puzzletree Tue 22-May-12 12:42:10

Wow this thread has got busy again.

So sorry for your losses Zoey and wifey, (zoey on top of your other horrific experience it's no wonder you're so shaken) glad you both found your way here though, it really does help to talk with others who understand what you're going through. Allow yourselves to be sad and take time to come to terms with the miscarriage, but hope your future holds lots of good news too....

For you too Moomins and Count, you both really deserve a sticky BFP very soon x

Catsy CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You did it! A new daughter with a gorgeous name, so happy for you smile Enjoy getting to know her x

tumblebug wow, 26 weeks already smile know what you mean about lack of confidence in this post-mc pregnancy, hang on in there, not long until baby snuggles x

All's well here, 6 weeks until the anniversary of the mc sad but that also means about 6 weeks until this new baby will arrive smile Love to you all xxx

Catsycat Sat 26-May-12 19:20:03

Thanks for the good wishes everyone. A few months ago, I found it hard to believe I'd be holding a newborn again, but here we are... I hope everyone else will be this lucky smile.

Puzzle 6 weeks will fly by! So glad everything is going well. Tumble so pleased you're doing well too. I was still nervous until the moment I saw Zuleika, had so many little scares, and went for monitoring twice due to reduced movement (had an anterior placenta which meant feeling movement was difficult sometimes).

Really happy she is here safely, though tbh have had lots of tears too, because having her has brought home the loss last year, and that there was a baby I never got to hold... there is still part of me that will probably always be wondering about, and missing, the baby we lost. Am focusing on being as good a mum as I can to all 3 DDs, and appreciating what I have, as I said I feel really fortunate smile xxx

tumblebug Sun 27-May-12 20:54:07

Catsy, rather belated congratulations! So happy for you, glad all safe and well.

Puzzle I feel like I've been pregnant forever, finally feel we're getting somewhere though! Like you, baby's due exactly a year after mc, so although it will be a sad anniversary, I hope there'll be lots of happiness too.

moomins and count thinking of you both, really hoping for bfp's for you soon.

zoey sounds like you've had a really tough time, hope you can start working through it. MN is a great place to come for a rant and some support. Like you say, MC is bad luck and completely outside your control, but knowing that doesn't make it easier - you have to give yourself time to hurt and grieve, and when you're ready you'll be able to move on but still remember.

Countmyblessings Thu 14-Jun-12 16:09:02

Puzzle & Tumble - how you guys doing? I hope all is well!
Catsy - hows life with you, I'm sure your enjoying every
Minute of sleepless nites and night time feeds!!!!
Still here plodding alone, not return to work don't feel strong enough yet but enjoying being at home getting on with things I couldn't do before!

Catsycat Tue 26-Jun-12 15:39:55

Just stopping by to see how everyone is.

Puzzle, hoping to hear some good news soon.

Tumble, hope things are still going well.

Count, hope you are healing well, and getting stronger as time goes on. Glad you are enjoying being at home.

All is well here. DD3 is more settled, so I'm getting a bit more sleep!

It's a year since the mc for me this week (my ERPC was on 29th June last year). In some ways it seems to have gone really quickly, in other ways I can't believe how far I've come since then. It's been a bit of a journey... thanks to all of you for the support and sharing. I don't know what I would have done without you.

Countmyblessings Tue 26-Jun-12 19:20:17

Hi Catsy- as you can see the thread has gone quiet!
Great that your enjoying motherhood and that your settling into a routine!
I'm still dealing and getting stronger each day!
Facing my giants at the moment!
Holding off TTC until August so all I can do is wait and see!
While off really wanted to change my career so I can spend more time with my family!

Catsycat Tue 26-Jun-12 20:11:18

Hi Count, yes I thought it looked a bit empty in here! Hope you manage to change your career - it would be great if you can make something positive out of what has happened.

Countmyblessings Wed 27-Jun-12 11:42:39

It's amazing as this thread is coming upto being a year old!
So much has happened and we have all survived in different
It's sad to see so much threads popping up addressing the same things we have been through and some worse!
But some great follow up success stories bringing tears to your eyes but joy to your soul!
Best wishes to you Catsy!!!!!
Hope everyone else is ok! And I still watch out for new posts on here!!

Hi everyone, just poping on to say I finally got my bfp! I'm now 8+1 and everything looked fine on the early scan x

Funnily enough, due date was the same as Jacob should have been until they changed it after the scan

Countmyblessings Sun 08-Jul-12 00:22:30

Moomin- Congrats,Congrats and thanks for sharing!
When are you due!!!!!
Hand holding all the way! Pom- Pom as we cheer each other on!!!!!!
Yes I too got my BFP!!!!!

Yey that's great news!! 20th of feb is due date, when's yours x

Countmyblessings Mon 09-Jul-12 23:48:19

Moomin-March but trying to get passed my tests first I'm praying all will be well and I have a baby in the right place!!Have to do 48 hour bloods!

Fx that everythings ok, let us know how it goes. I'm having a cervical stitch placed between 12-14 weeks so starting to worry about that. Deep breaths and carry on x

puzzletree Wed 11-Jul-12 21:08:48

Hello everyone.

Wow, congrats Moomins and Count!!!!!! That's brilliant news. Hope these early weeks pass ok for you, without too much stress and anxiety.

And my news is that I'm very excited and pleased to announce the arrival of our new baby Seth! My waters broke on July 3rd, the anniversary of the miscarriage, although he wasn't born until the next day. He's an absolute treasure and we're all in love with him. Feeling so very lucky smile and really really hope that all of you who are still waiting for a successful pregnancy post-miscarriage get to this point too.

Catsy I hope all's still going well for you with baby Zuleika smile
and tumble how are you doing? there can't be long to go for you now...!

What a year it's been ladies, thank you all so much for helping me through x

Catsycat Tue 17-Jul-12 21:17:07

Moomins and Count what lovely news! Sending lots of good wishes your way!

Puzzle many congratulations on Seth's safe arrival! I'm very happy for you.

Must go as Zuleika is crying, but all is well here. Hope to catch up again soon.

Countmyblessings Tue 17-Jul-12 21:54:16

Huge Congrats Puzzle- beautiful news and lovely name! It must be so hard to believe you have gotten to the finish line!
I'm so very happy for you and your family xx please keep popping in and updating us all xxx
The journey shared with you guys has been so special and so emotional!
Catsy - nice to hear from you also, crying baby ( I love that sound)
Moomin- how you feeling? I guess you can't believe it also!
Well good results from scan 1 baby in right place, scan 3 weeks to check heartbeat and growth!!!! It's unbelievable to be here again!
4 pregnancies on my mn journey - 1 born but I pray this journey will bring me more joy!!!!

tumblebug Sun 22-Jul-12 22:48:29

Hi all, so much lovely news!

Count and Moomin - congrats, so exciting, really really hope all goes well for you both. Count scan sounds reassuring - early days of course but the very best start!

Puzzle Wonderful news about little Seth, hope you are all well and happy, and not too tired.

Catsy glad all well with you and your little girl too.

I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow. People keep saying how quickly they think it's gone - it feels like forever to me, probably because I left it as long as possible before I told people. I think being pregnant last year too has made it all blur into one so it seems even longer.

One more week at work, then we're moving house next weekend - not the best timing but with any luck by autumn we'll be in our new house with DS and our new baby.

Like Puzzle said, what a year - having you ladies here to talk it through with has made it all a little bit easier, thanks!

wifey6 Mon 23-Jul-12 10:21:07

count & moomin....such wonderful news!! grin grin grin grin grin grin
What wonderful news x

Catsycat Mon 23-Jul-12 20:55:27

Count so glad it is looking good for you so far!

Not long now tumble. You're right about it all merging into one with being pg last year - that's how I felt too. Hope the move goes well!

Hi wifey, how are you doing?

wifey6 Mon 23-Jul-12 21:22:20

Hi catsy....not too good this evening but I will be fine. bear thank you so much for asking. smile

Catsycat Thu 26-Jul-12 21:04:01

That's OK wifey. Hope you are feeling a bit better soon - I remember feeling up and down for quite a while afterwards. Sending you a brew smile.

tumblebug Mon 06-Aug-12 10:50:26

Hi how is everyone getting on? wifey I hope things are getting a little easier.

First day of mat leave so being very lazy - still in bed! So much to do though as moved house last week and things to tie up at work. Will have to go in as no internet yet at home.

Countmyblessings Tue 07-Aug-12 10:38:03

Oh Tumble - its like training for the Olympics and getting a Gold, I can't wait to get there it just seems so far away! Good luck with
Moomin- you must be 12 weeks by now, are you still getting the stitch put in well hope all goes well and your taking 1 day at a time!
Hope all the mums and babies are doing well!
I'm doing well had scan saw baby and strong heartbeat just 4 weeks till
Next scan, it's amazing how the days, weeks just feel like they are dragging I guess finding out early didn't help!
Ms all day, sore boobs is my daily portion - roll on 2nd trimester!

Congratulation puzzle ! I know it's a bit late xx

catsy hope you and zuleika are well

tumble we moved a couple of months ago, hope all is going well. I hate moving

count glad scans have gone well and they seem to be keeping an eye on you. Yes I'm 12+6, had scan yesterday and everything looks fine. I'm booked in for the stitch next weds. I also have ms all day long, it's really draining!

tumblebug Tue 07-Aug-12 23:13:07

* count* and moomin great scan news, sorry about the sickness and tiredness but it's a good sign and it will stop eventually!

count I found out really early too, feel like I've been pregnant forever. I still can't relax - still so worried about something going wrong, much more so than when I had ds. It got easier when I started feeling movements - I hope that you feel your little one really early, then you can stop waiting for the next scan or appointment just for some reassurance.

moomins have you settled into your new house? Really hard moving while pregnant, but so glad we did - love the house, and it's done now.
Good luck with the stitch next week.

Catsycat Thu 09-Aug-12 15:06:43

Count and Moomin great news on your scans! I had my first at about 7 weeks with Zuleika, and still panicked all the time I'm afraid! It did get a bit better once I could feel movements, like tumble said, but I still worried even then!

How are things wifey?

tumble glad you like your new house! Enjoy mat leave. Hope you are enjoying your new place too moomin.

How are things going puzzle? All going OK here, just really busy...

Countmyblessings Sun 12-Aug-12 15:14:39

Tumble - yes thanks for that I still a nervous although all day ms, pering every 5 mins and sore painful boobs ate all letting me know all is going well! Last scan I had saw perfect formed and beating heart!
And waiting till end of August for 12 weeks scan!
How's everyone doing?
Moomin how's it all? I've had some pain which my gp said it maybe the start of spd!!!!!!! I was like what at 9 weeks!!!!! Physio being rushed for me
Catsy - how's you???? Big wave to everyone!!!!

tumblebug Tue 14-Aug-12 23:24:11

Count aren't scans amazing?! To see a tiny heartbeat is incredible, so much hope and possibility. Really hope that everything continues to go well for you. SPD this early not good though...

Catsy glad all OK, can imagine you're busy, have no idea how I'll manage with 'just' 2! DS currently very high maintenance and won't do what he's told. STill pretty cute though.

Still waiting, 39+1.

Hope everyone else OK.

Countmyblessings Wed 15-Aug-12 12:26:32

Ohhhh Tumble - my last ds came a week early and all I had was a bloody show which my MW dismissed as she felt my belly and said babies heads not engaged Ha! Went home and a few hours later after my nap calmly told my DH feeling something's happening and call the hospital 1 hour after I arrived and 35 mins from waters going my son was born! Still emotional as it happened so quickly!!!
I wish I could buy my own scanner so every time I need reassurance I just pop in and see!!!!! Not long but feels long if that makes sense and so scared!!!!!!!! Will be holding my breath with eyes closed until I'm told good news!!!!!!!
Big hi to everyone else!!!!

tumblebug Thu 23-Aug-12 22:38:00

My gorgeous baby girl, Sophie Rachel, 7lb 12, was born early this morning. Still in hospital, typing one handed while feeding! She has lots of really dark hair (ds is very fair!).

Hope everyone else is ok? Moomin did you have your stitch ok? count your
12 week scam must be soon now - really hope everything ok!

Countmyblessings Fri 24-Aug-12 02:07:31

Congrats tumble - welcome to the world Sophie Rachel - your family and your MN friends have been waiting for you! And well done in the weight!!!!
Enjoy and take care of your precious beautiful girlx

tumblebug Sat 25-Aug-12 23:23:37

Thanks count, back home and enjoying milky cuddles! Ds also seems to have taken to his baby sister, so far at least. Hope you're ok -you were up very late....

Congrats tumble yes I had the stitch nearly 2 weeks ago now, all fine so far 15+5 weeks x

Countmyblessings Wed 29-Aug-12 12:57:12

Yeh on being 15+5 that great!
I'm now 12 weeks and I'm due for scan on Friday! I'm so scared but have a great mw who wants me to try home birth! So def considering it!
But that seems so far away!
Take care for now!!!!

Let us know how fri goes count I'm back with the consultant mon, hopefully to be prescribed progesterone fx.

tumble the move went well all settled. I have a lovely friend who heLped out so I didn't have to do much how's Sophie?

tumblebug Fri 31-Aug-12 00:24:10

hope all goes well tomorrow count, and on Monday Moomin.

we had loads of help moving too, but still boxws evertwhere (mostly hidden in cupboards soT'm not woeeying too much).

Sophie is gorgeous thamks, just in middle of cluster feed so typing 1 handed!! (explains typos = sorry!) hope we can go to sleep soon though...

Countmyblessings Fri 31-Aug-12 15:30:16

Hi ladies - scan went perfect wonderful waving baby moving way too much need rescan in 2 week amazing pictures but couldn't get correct measurements that why need rescan!
And breath!!!!!!!

Yay congratulations and you get to see baby again soon, bonus!

tumblebug Fri 31-Aug-12 21:17:04

Brilliant news count!

Countmyblessings Fri 31-Aug-12 21:53:06

Huge kisses to Sophie - tumble!!!! You'll be unpacked real soon!
Moonin- yeh very nervous though but happy moving dancing baby!

I'm feeling a bit anxious at the moment, so earlier I booked myself in for a gender scan tomorrow at 12.15. hmm

tumblebug Sat 01-Sep-12 11:07:02

moomin enjoy seeing your little one, hope it helps you feel less anxious. I worried all through this pregnancy.

Everything looks fine, it's a boy!

tumblebug Sun 02-Sep-12 00:13:34

Aw moomin boys are great! (So are girls....) glad all looked ok.

Countmyblessings Thu 06-Sep-12 04:33:21

Moomin- wonderful news on your BOY!!!!!
Am hoping I'm having a boy to equal out the dc!!!!
Quick question when did u all start feeling movements! I know they say the more dc you have you feel much earlier just want a ball park idea!!!
I do feel like I will start relaxing once I don't need scans and listening to HB to make me feel more relaxed that all is ok!!!
2nd trimester whoop!!!! Bring on the movements and higher energy levels oh and my mojo!!!! Poor DH!!!!! Not getting a look in!

I was around 16 weeks the last 3 times i started to feel movement, I'm now 19+4 and fx stitch is holding fine. I go in for my 20 week scan a week tomorrow. It's an odd week, by the time weds comes I will have been carrying this baby longer than I did Jacob. Fri is the 1st anniversary of his birth and death

Hope everyone is ok how are you count ?

Catsycat Fri 28-Sep-12 11:48:34

Sorry I haven't been around for a bit - DD1 started school, plus we were organising her huuuge birthday party, and had a weekend at the Paralympics - don't know where the time has gone!!! Have been thinking of you all though!

Moomin, hope you are OK - is it today that is Jacob's anniversary? Glad the stitch is holding, and congrats on the scan.

Count congrats on your scan - so glad all is OK.

And of course tumble, big congratulations on the birth of Sophie Rachel! Sorry it's so belated. Hope you are both well.

Have to dash off now, but hope to check in more regularly...

Countmyblessings Thu 04-Oct-12 20:00:19

Hi all - hope everyone is ok and on the straight for baby!
Moomin- how are you feeling now you passed that point must be a sigh of just happiness!!!! I'm so happy for you!
Catsy - glad you passed through and clearly your v. Busy!
Tumble - how are you doing? Hope all is good and your falling into a great routine!

I'm just plodding through have had a few scared but thankfully baby hanging in there!!!! All crossed!!!!

Countmyblessings Sat 03-Nov-12 19:41:13

I'm 21 weeks and had scan very happy as we did discuss what we really wanted and so very happy and just looking forwards to going away in December and then hopefully having this one in feb/ march 13!!!
Moonin- how you doing????? Hope all is well with the stitch and your in a happy place knowing baby will stay put!!
Catsy - hope your well!
Tumble - how's everything going in your household?

Catsycat Tue 13-Nov-12 21:11:34

Yay, Count! So happy all is well with you! Going away sounds nice...
How is everyone else doing?
Everything is going well here, except for teething, which is a nightmare!

Countmyblessings Mon 17-Dec-12 12:21:06

Hi ladies - I pray all is well Moomin - how are you doing cant remember when you are due but I hope you are wellx
Catsy - how's you and your preparing for Christmas!
Tumble - and how's everything in your household and are you prepared for Christmas!
Well tomorrow is DD for baby lost in April - not sure how to feel about it all and hope i get through the day without a breakdown! Hormones all over the place and nearly 28 weeks here!!!
All the best and hope to hear from you guys soon x

Catsycat Wed 19-Dec-12 21:36:15

Hi Count. I hope you were OK yesterday. Anniversaries are very sad (it would have been the first birthday of the baby I lost in a few weeks sad ). I hope you are feeling blooming, and that the 2nd trimester is treating you well - not long for you now!

We're all doing well here. Zuleika is 7 months on friday, onto solid food now, and very jolly (well, she has a cold so less jolly than usual today). I finally let her use a new bib, which was the only thing I had bought for the baby I miscarried. It had been wrapped up in the packaging in the drawer ever since. I figured it was time to let that go, and I didn't regret it.

We're all caught in the mad rush of Christmas activities, so I'm looking forward to the end of term tomorrow, as lovely as it is, I'm exhausted!!!

Hope everyone else is well. xx smile

Countmyblessings Thu 20-Dec-12 15:22:32

Catsy - amazed at how time has flew by and zuleika is 7 months!!! Which is how pregnant I am had 4d scan which was amazing!!!
Thankfully my Dd wasn't as painful as I thought maybe as
Pregnant it didn't feel as hopeless as I did last year another dd coming up on 28 dec!!!! Baby would of been 1! Have not bought anything for baby but on our return from hols will get some bits even if its just to get hospital bag packed!!!
It's really quiet on here, sure everyone is getting ready for Christmas!
Take care & enjoy Christmas and 2013!

Countmyblessings Wed 16-Jan-13 19:14:40

Hi all and happy new 2013!!!!!
This thread has gone eerie quiet but I know its because most have moved on after having babies, some still waiting getting bigger!!!
Moomin - I know your really close now I hope all is well baby is staying put for now and thinking have they removed your stiches????
The thought that baby can come any time now hope your ready bag packed and all ready and waiting!!!!
Me in the other hand has nothing!!!!!!!!
And need to get a wiggle on at least get my hospital bag ready so am looking for bargains online a few body grows, vests hat cardigan and a blanket for hospital and newborn nappies!!!!
Avoiding snow coat all in one as the weather is not that bad!!!
Now just have to wait for this baby!!!!

Catsycat Sun 20-Jan-13 17:01:40

How exciting Count - not long to go! Hope the birth goes well, and you get everything you need in time grin.

Zuleika enjoyed her first Christmas, as did my other 2 DDs. DD1 is still loving school, was actually pleased to go back after the holidays, as was DD2 with her preschools. Still really busy here, and starting to try to lose a load of weight - at least 3 stone {sigh}... exercise bike being delivered on Friday...

I don't get chance to get on MN much now, but I do check back now and again to see if there's news on this thread, so please keep updating! Would be lovely to hear from some of the other "oldies" too...

tumblebug Thu 24-Jan-13 22:18:04

Hi! Sorry haven't been here much - so busy with 2 (how do the rest of you manage with all yours?!), and so tired the rest of the time! Lovely to hear how you are getting on. All really well here, Sophie is 5 months already and absolutely gorgeous (of course!), generally a really happy baby although has a cold and is teething today so a bit grumpy. Stiill feeding a couple of times overnight, but at least she does it quickly and usually goes back to sleep. DS is growing up so much as well, really seems to adore his sister and is generally being easier and fun and entertaining. I'm starting to think about going back to work - kind of looking forward to it as I do get a bit frustrated at home all the time (probably as I don't have enough activities to do as I know I'm going back to work...) but also feel a bit sad about it.

Count hope you are feeling a bit more ready now, and hope all goes well, look forward to hearing your news.

Catsy glad all are well and happy, good luck with the exercise bike!

Catsycat Fri 08-Feb-13 20:38:11

Hi tumble. Lovely to hear your update. I'm glad everything is going well. The night feeds sound hard work - I was very lucky to lose those early on. Great that your DS gets on so well with the baby as well.

I haven't been on the exercise bike yet - oh dear!! But I do look at it regularly smile, and the diet is going slowly but surely in the right direction.

Countmyblessings Fri 08-Mar-13 13:46:48

25/2=Baby count born @ 37 weeks csection as breeched!
6lbs 5 oz beautiful full head of hair!!!!
Thanks for all the support never thought I would be here again holding a live baby it's just amazing and well worth it all!
I will Never forget my angel babies x3.

Congratulations count ! baby Joseph was born 1/2 at 38 weeks by csection weighing 7lb 11 (my cervix didn't even attempt to open after stitch removal!)

He's 5 weeks today and lovely xx

He also has a full head of very dark hair

tumblebug Fri 08-Mar-13 23:09:59

Congratulations Moomin and Count, wonderful news, hope you're enjoying your little ones. Sophie also had lots of dark hair, still does but it's longer and wispier now. She is so like her big brother except he was bald then blond!

We're doing well except Sophie has another cold/ cough - every 2 weeks at the moment.

Just passed the due date of the pregnancy I lost - would have been 1st birthday. 2 friends had babies in the 3 days before - so happy associations now. I see my MC as part of the path to having Sophie now - a sad and horrid experience that I'll never forget, but the end result is my beautiful little girl.

Catsycat Fri 08-Mar-13 23:48:55

Count and Moomin, so pleased to hear your news, congratulations!

Tumble lovely to hear from you. There are so many bugs around at the moment - poor Sophie. Glad you'e doing OK.

Zuleika is 9 1/2 months now, and cruising. Can't believe it will be her birthday in a few weeks!

I hope anyone who stumbles upon this thread having had a mc can see how far we have come with our different experiences of loss, and see that there is hope for a positive outcome... so glad to have had your support and strength ladies x

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