Missed miscarriage

[NatalieSkye]

Hi I was just wondering if there was anyone that could help me understand the process of a missed miscarriage.
On Wednesday I was told that my baby's heartbeat couldn't be found and that I'd had a MMC. I chose to take the natural option because I couldn't come to terms with someone taking the baby out of me and that when my body was ready, it would happen. Friday afternoon I started bleeding but since then hasn't been what people had described to me. I'm so confused and it's so hard still feeling pregnant but knowing it isn't going to continue. Is there anyone that could possibly explain a little more than what i've been told. Thank you.

[Sossiges]

Hi, I'm really sorry for your loss. I know nothing about what you're going through, but I expect someone who does will be along soon. Take care

[kat2504]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I've had two missed miscarriages. I never went for the natural option, the first time I had an erpc and the second time I had medical management.
Generally, whatever they tell you is unlikely to be accurate. I got told a lot of the "it's like a heavy period" stuff and it was like nothing of the sort when I had the medical route.
I don't know how many weeks you are, I was 9 when I had the medical treatment, there was about an hour or so when it was very painful and I passed a lot of "stuff" including the sac (there was no visible baby by that point) After the sac had passed the pain subsided and it was just like cramps but the bleeding was still fairly heavy. The next day the bleeding was like a period but with some larger clots from time to time during the day. It took about 8 days for it all to be over.
The natural route ought to be very similar, but slower to get started. If it doesn't happen after a period of time (2 weeks?) you will have to get rescanned. I think they will let you wait a few weeks before there is a risk of an infection. The bleeding probably indicates that your body is getting ready to miscarry and hopefully it will happen soon.
If, when it starts, the bleeding or the pain concern you, get in touch with your hospital asap.

[babysaurus]

Hi, I had a MMC spotted at my 12 week scan on the 4th July. I too was feeling properly pregnant and had no inkling the baby had died. Its horrible! I was told I had to wait a week to be rescanned 'just to be sure' and started to bleed a bit a few days later. However, a week later, last Wednesday it was, I suddenly started to bleed VERY heavily, with massive cramping, and ended up calling 999 as it was so bad. Do be careful - blood loss can be quite severe! (I don't mean to be scary, I just want to forewarn you as I had a hell of a shock!)
Apparently, with a MMC, you can still have all the pregnancy symptoms as the placenta is growing and developing which is where all the hormones come from. I was told it was 'normal' to start bleeding from week 13 onward as your body then realises there is no actual baby.
I am really sorry for your loss - sending you hugs xxx

[mrsnesbit]

Hello, so sorry you are going through this its truly awful.

You will continue to feel pregnant because the pregnancy hormones may still be at fairly high levels and they drop gradually.

Bleeding may well be followed by cramping and possibly "contraction" type pain.
Be prepared for this, get some good painkillers and dont hesitate to get to your nearest hospital if you are unable to cope with the pain or with the volume of bleeding.
Your body will, as you say, naturally pass the baby. You may or may not se anything, as you will also pass large clots. The blood can disguise things.

It should not last for more than 12-24 hours.
Try to keep hydrated, drink water and try to eat snack type foods.
Be really kind to yourself, dont venture far from home/sofa/bed. Get chocolate in and snuggle up.
I felt it helped me to move around as this helped to keep things moving, but also felt comforted to just lie on the sofa at times.

I too felt that i needed things to happen naturally, then i knew that it is what is supposed to happen iyswim.
Good luck and hugs at this upsetting time x

[NatalieSkye]

Thank you for your messages. I'm so sorry you've all had to go through this it's horrible. The bleeding has started getting a little heavier but still not in much pain. I've been told of things to watch out for, just incase of any infection. I think maybe because I have chosen the natural option it's just a slower process to what family or friends have explained. I've had one extremely bad 'contraction' type pain, which was possibly the start of what's yet to come, this was over the weekend. I think I'm understanding the physical things that are happening, or yet to happen. Just the emotional exhaustion that's getting to me. I do think that the hormones are starting to decrease as the 'morning sickness' is fading and so has my sense of smell.
A lot of people are saying ' o just try again in a month or so' but I'm petrified it's going to happen again. Is there anyway of actually overcoming that fear or is it completely normal and will always be there? X

[NatalieSkye]

Sorry I forgot to say how far along I was. I was 8 weeks. And It was my second scan, first scan was at 5 weeks as I found out so early on and thought there was a possibility I could be further into the pregnancy. X

[babysaurus]

Hi NatalieSkye, sorry it's taken till now to respond. I have broken my phone so cannot access internet on it and have been out all day.
I am sorry but I can't say anything other than sorry that you too are going through this. As I had the heavy bleeding etc only last Wednesday I can't say what it would be like trying to try again. I, like you, found the emotional exhaustion terrible - the week from the 4th July was bloody horrible, all of it! (I had the scan on the 4th but had to go back 8 days later for a re scan.)
Re trying again, I have a suspicion that another pregnancy will be more nerveracking unfortunately. I know miscarriage is very common, and its natures way blah blah blah but, the thing is, its not common to us is it?! And lets hope it never does become common either! I have found a bit of comfort reading the threads on the conception boards where its posters who have MC's but are now either trying or are pg again. They too are largely neurotic wrecks at first but they do, by and large, seem to have a happy ending.
Hope you are feeling as well as you can all things considering. I will check the thread regularly tomorrow to see if you've posted any more.
Big big cyber hugs xxxxx

[thornrose]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Have you tried the Miscarriage Association? They were amazingly helpful for me.
I had a miscarriage and went on to have a successful pregnancy. I was a nervous wreck especially for the first few months, it's hard not to be.
You will probably be offered an early scan for reassurance next time and midwives and doctors will understand your concerns.
I remember I got great comfort from hearing stories of women who went on to have healthy pregnancies after miscarriage.

[Ktay]

Hi Natalie, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had a mmc in March and opted for the natural route. It took a good week for things to get going 'properly' from the first signs of blood when wiping (built up very slowly from there). That said, the most intense part, which lasted about 5 or 6 hours and where I was passing clots/filling a towel every hour, came without much warning. It wasn't massively painful though. (The pregnancy hadn't developed much past 5/6 weeks and the mc happened at 11 or 12 weeks.)

I got pregnant straight after my next AF and was an absolute wreck going into my dating scan last week as my pregnancy has been blessedly symptom-free thus far (no reassurance scans or sympathetic midwives here sadly). I was convinced it was all over but was amazed to see a healthy little baby in there. (I say this not to rub it in but in the hope of giving you some encouragement that it is worth plucking up the courage to try and do it again.)

[babysaurus]

Ktay its good to hear you managed to get pg again, and sucessfully, so soon. I think being symptom free would especially freak me out too! I have read that fertility can go up a bit after a mc, and it does look to be the case with some people on here. I know for certain I'd be a nervous wreck, and I am normally very laid back indeed!
OP - how are things?

[Catsycat]

Hi Natalie, how are you doing? I had a mmc which was discovered exactly a month ago, on 20th June. It was an awful time, and I'm very sorry you are going through this now. A month on, for me, it still hurts but does not consume me any more.

I will be ttc as soon as AF returns, and yes I am terified. I have only had the one mc (thankfully), but have even considered paying hundreds of £ to get a load of blood tests done privately, as I am so worried it will happen again! I realise this is rather irrational, and was told I had 90% chance of a successful pg next time, but still it's a worry, so Ktay it was very reassuring to hear your story.

Lots of my friends have suffered losses during pregnancy (one at 38 weeks :( ) and from speaking to them (and reading on here) the sheer terror seems to be a normal response. It hasn't stopped any of my friends (who are all in their 30s-40s) having further children though, so that is good! I think I will be taking a lot of deep breaths, and maybe seeing a hypnotherapist when (not "if" - I won't accept "if"!!!) I get pg again. Take care xx

[NatalieSkye]

Hi everyone, I'm doing okay. Extremely tired. Monday night the bleeding really started and last night I ended up being taken to hospital as the bleeding was so extreme. I was going through sanitary towels every 15 minutes and then suddenly the bleeding went through every layer I had on and through a duvet. It was a shock! They kept me in until the bleeding calmed down, the doctor said my cervix is closing so hopefully I've had the worst of it now. the trying again is daunting but I was told that if you do get pregnant within the first 6 months after a MC your less likely to miscarry, not sure on how true that is but it is reassuring. I think I will repair myself both physically and emotionally before I even do the deed let alone try again. I feel much better emotionally compared to last week, although Still drained and a bit teary here and there. It's good to hear you've had happiness after MC. I know it's a high percentage of pregnancies that end in miscarriage but I don't think you realise it's actually going to happen to you?! I certainly didn't.
I have a follow up scan in the 26th so I'll see what they say then. Although I didn't want the pregnancy to be over, I do hope the MC is as it is so horrible. Thank you so much for writing back to my post. Again I'm sorry you've all had to experience this and I hope you all go on to have healthy babies. Hugs to everyone xx

[babysaurus]

NatalieSkye you seem to have had a less dramatic version of what I had. Yes, I agree its bloody awful but, looking on the bright side (well, trying to!) at least it appears to be over, or at least nearly over. I wasn't paranoid about miscarriage before (this was my first pregnancy) as I naively assumed that if something was wrong I'd have had some inkling. I am really hoping that if I get pregnant again I can get scanned early (while I know this doesn't mean as much as I'd like it's still reassuring) - perhaps I'll have to make a fuss!
I have not heard the 6 months after mc'-ing fact - will go to Google now and check it out.
Onwards and upwards, eh?!
xxx

[Catsycat]

Hi again. Yes, the 6 months thing is from a proper bit of research, published last year I think. I don't think they know why it works like that though, just that it appears to.

Natalie, I also had a similar experience, blood just pouring out like a tap had been turned on. I ended up just dumping blood soaked leggings and knickers (several lots) in the bath for DH to sort out, till I fainted and he had me carried off in an ambulance!!! It was very shocking and horrible, and the stress and blood loss made me very tired, only just feeling back up to normal after 3 weeks. I initially felt very relieved after it was over, then up and down a bit, but gradually more up than down.

Hope you continue to mend, and that your scan shows everything is as it should be.

[babysaurus]

Thats very good to know! The six months thing, I mean.
I am still quite tired, especially to my normal levels, but feeling better physically day by day. I guess its a reflection of my impatience that it's actually only a week ago , almost to the hour, that I found myself in A&E but I don't like to hang about! I am feeling more emotionally down about it the further it goes away, but I am also keen to be able to try again. I feel that, for me at least, it's the best way to try and get over things and move on. However, I suspect my DH may have other ideas... This is not good news really as I am 37 in Sept but this argument didn't cut much mustard the first time (the pregnancy was planned but we didn't expect it to take a mere 3 months) and I don't think it will this time.
Saying all this, about TTCing, I feel about as fruity as a limp lettuce at the moment so perhaps I am getting a bit too ahead of things.
It's been great coming onto these threads and 'talking' to people who have experienced the same thing, I think it has really helped me and I am guessing it really has helped others too. Lets hope we shall all 'meet' again but in happier threads, hey? Meanwhile, I think I might continue to lurk - the conception boards are a definate no no for me, emotionally speaking, at the moment! Perhaps I'll stick to chat and AIBU....!

[NatalieSkye]

Just to let everyone know Wednesday night I got taken into hospital from excessive bleeding. Unfortunately I took a turn for the worst and wasn't well at all. My heart rate was extremely high and blood pressure was all over the place. I continued to lose LOTS of blood and constant 'lumps' throughout four days which, with the amount of 'lumps' and blood I'd lost, it should of been over in the first day it started, like the doctor said it was, but she got it wrong. I ended up on 8 drips and had an emergency blood tranfusion of 3 units. Things improved over yesterday and last night and was grateful to be discharged today. At the moment I'm on lots of meds and still in bed rest. Im so sore and upset, completely drained tbh! But on the plus side things are getting better and hopefully It will be completely over in the next two weeks. Glad to know the 6 month thing is true. And babysaurus i hope you feel better soon. I'm sure time will heal for all of us that have experienced this! X

[Catsycat]

Hi Natalie. So sorry to read your latest post - no wonder you feel drained. Take care of yourself xx

[Ktay]

Natalie that sounds horrendous. I hope you make a speedy recovery and have some good luck very soon. Take it easy.