mmc back in september and 10 month later still ttc, is this normal?

[mrsb33]

Not sure if this is really the right place to post, I'm a regular on mums netm
We lost our first baby last yearn found out at 13 weeks, baby had died at 8 weeks. Well 10 months on and were still not pregnant, and we've tried everything!!
Really looking for some positive stories as I'm starting to lose hope! I suppose the only positive at this point is getting to see a doctor in 2 months time!!

[whomovedmychocolate]

I'm sorry for your loss. Why do you need to wait for 12 months to see your doctor? Why not ask for basic tests and a referral now? Are you over 35? If so it's only a six month window before you will be referred.

[mrsb33]

I'm 33 my husband is 35, was told that we had to wait 12 months before they would even consider starting testing??
My periods haven't been stable since the mmc, were alway 28 days, and after 10 month have finally gone back to 28 days so think my hormones aren't quite settled yet? Also put on over a stone since the mmc and this surely can't help things.

[whomovedmychocolate]

No, if either partner is over 35 they should only make you wait six months. Personally I'd say you have been trying for a healthy pregnancy for over a year already!

The stone you have put on will not be helping you much, no. But understandable (been there, eaten the comfort cake myself :( ).

Have you thought about where you are mentally with regard to the miscarriage. I used hypnotherapy to get pregnant with my daughter after my first miscarriage (I know it sounds daft) but there is a hypnoconception CD you can get which you listen to and fills you with positive messages about pregnancy which made me feel more secure when I did conceive (I think it probably helped me relax and conceive as well).

The fact that you got pregnant before would indicate you are structurally okay though so hopefully it'll just be a bit longer - remember the average time for a couple to conceive is fourteen months. So you are not doing badly. But I know how hard it is to accept that in your position (I never did).

Good luck to you both :)

[mrsb33]

Wow thanks wmmc, that's was a great response. I suppose I'm not in a good place post mc, I'm boardering on depressed. I'm normally a very positive person and believe depression is a state of mind, that's just my opinion. So not sure its helping the old ttc, its like I've almost commited myself to not being able to conceive now and never be a mommy! I will look into the hydrotheropy thanks, and. Will be booking into see the doctor asap.
With regards to the weight, have now joined slimming world and have lost 3.5 pounds in a week, so very happy with that!

Thanks again x

[mrsb33]

Wow thanks wmmc, that's was a great response. I suppose I'm not in a good place post mc, I'm boardering on depressed. I'm normally a very positive person and believe depression is a state of mind, that's just my opinion. So not sure its helping the old ttc, its like I've almost commited myself to not being able to conceive now and never be a mommy! I will look into the hydrotheropy thanks, and. Will be booking into see the doctor asap.
With regards to the weight, have now joined slimming world and have lost 3.5 pounds in a week, so very happy with that!

Thanks again x

[whomovedmychocolate]

Hypnotherapy (hydrotherapy would be swimming to get pregnant and I reckon the sperm do that on your behalf!)

There is a specific hypnoconception CD you can buy. If you want me to look up where you can get it from drop me a PM (message poster - see right of blue bar at the top of any post).

Good luck :)

[Beamur]

I was in a similar position to you - got pg within about 4 months of trying, mc at 10 weeks, then TTC for ages, I suspect I had a further very early mc, but after about 8 months of trying I went to the Drs. They said that strictly speaking as I was under 35 (I was 34) and hadn't been trying for a year yet they shouldn't refer me - but they did anyway, and it took ages for the appointment to come through, then it was cancelled and put back a few weeks, but by the time my appointment at the hospital came through I was 7 weeks pg - and got to see my little baby bean jumping about.
Don't lose heart, whilst it is distressing and sad to mc, sadly it is quite common, especially in first pregnancies. Good luck and take care of yourself.

[Reallea]

My best friend fell pregnant at the same time as me 22 months ago and had miscarriage at 10 weeks. This was heartbreaking for the both of us, obviously more so her, and sadly our friendship really suffered as a result as every time she saw me, my expanding belly was a constant reminder and she couldn't help but reflect that it should have been her. After several months she TTC but nothing was happenning and it became even harder for her as I'd given birth. She suffered another two chemical MCs during this time and was getting really depressed. She's totally honest and admits it was taking it's toll on her marriage too, the depression and all the demanding he step up when her LH surge was taking place. The ovulation kit was suggesting that she was ovulating really late in her cycle which she now realises may have been her problem causing the chemical MCs- she now says she should have discussed this with her doc as maybe she could have had some extra hormone treatment to help her put with this. Anyway 10 months ago her Dh had to work when she was expecting to ovulate and was leaving about 5 days before. She never usually tested but checked her LH levels and she was having a surge really early. Well they DTD and now she has an absolutely delightful five week old baby girl. Basically she says that in retrospect she realises that since the MC her cycle was completely all over the place and that she wishes she'd just tested more regularly- THW the cost. Anyway I hope her story helps you a little and gives you some hope.

[mrsb33]

Thanks so much for the responses, I've now booked an appointment to see my doctor monday so fingers crossed they agree to start the ball rolling with some tests.
I can't believe I wrote hyrotheorpy!! Lol to funny, that would be great if you could recommend the cd wmmc, I'd really appreciate it, I'm rubbish with things like that!!! X

[GGwhinny]

I found natal hypnotherapy CDs really helpful. www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk There is a prepare to conceive one I used and also several for pregnancy, birth and postnatal when you get there - all really good at helping you to relax and get in the right frame of mind, which is hugely important - as much as any physical stuff. I've also come across glowing recommendations from another site to look at: foresight-preconception.co.uk. I also used maternity reflexology, which I found great - there may be a practitioner near you. Good luck.

[silver26]

Mrsb33 - my story could almost be the same! We had a miscarriage in March 2010 and then month after month of going through the disappointment of BFNs.
My cycle was also disrupted - I had always been 28 days bang on and then suddenly I was 31 or 32 days with long and much more messy periods than ever before. My DH maintains that my body was "recovering" after the 1st pregnancy and miscarriage and wasn't worried about what I was perceiving as a complete and utter personal failure.
Every time a friend or colleague got pregnant (usually in the first month of trying and ) the little part of me saying "why not me?" would crumple and die inside a little bit more.
I did go to the doctor around the July time and asked for some help - as we hadn't been trying for a year, they were unable to put me forward for tests (I was 31 at the time) and reassured me that the time TTC was "normal" and I "should just be patient". This didn't really help so I read "Zita West's Guide to Getting Pregnant" and started following the guidance in there as well as paying for private tests (Fertility MOT) through her clinic with a follow up consultation on the phone. These came back fine which was a great reassurance and the advisor I spoke to pretty brutally told me to give myself a break and that my problem conceiving was all in my head!
After this, I started to relax a bit and we ended up conceiving in Jan this year when we were focused on something else (my DH was preparing to go away with work). So my advice would be to try to give yourself a break, try some of the alternative therapies above and go to the doctors to see what they say....and keep thinking that it will happen!
Good luck

[whomovedmychocolate]

Alas I cannot find my CD or I'm send it to you but it is the natal hypnotherapy one linked earlier in this thread. I got pregnant with DD the first month I used it. Also found Zita West's book v helpful.

Good luck to you OP. Don't give up hope. :)

[mrsb33]

Thanks girlsn I feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one and I'm sure its because I'm mentalling about this. My sister commenterd about a picuture took of me last year! And how relaxed I looked, and I kinda made me relaised how stressed I've been over the last year. I do think your right silver. But its harder said thean done isn't it? Trying to not make it a focus and relax! Its time I got a new focus!! Thanks again, I feel a huge weight off!

[mrsb33]

Hi ladies, thought I'd pop in and update you all. Went to see my gp monday and have now been refered for tests, internal monday, 21 day bloods wednesday, seman test for dh and then finally a pelvic scan. Feel a lot more relaxed since as he explained a lot of what I have been doing, charting, ovulation sticks,timed sex can all put added stress onto my body and caused fertility problems! He explained that I have already gotten pregnnat once and I will do again, I may just need a helping hand or a bit more time!
What a weight off!!!
Thanks again for all the replies ladies, its helped me put everything into perspective. X

[whomovedmychocolate]

Yippee! That's excellent progress. Good for you. :)

Just keep on having sex. If you have no problems in terms of getting pregnant (and that is very likely in the circumstances) you are just suffering from a timing issue which you can fix by sex every couple of days) :)

[mrsb33]

bump...

[mrsb33]

thought id pop in with some good news, after 11 months of active ttc after my mmc in sept, and finally being refered for fertility investigations....
we got our first BFP yesterday!!! were over the moon.

fingers crossed this one sticks beyond 8 weeks....

[HorseyGirl1]

I thought you might be when I saw the word bump! Congratulations xx