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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Blighted Ovum/No development post implementation

23 replies

ShimmeryPixie · 29/05/2011 15:36

I just had a scan which showed an empty sac. I am gutted. I've been told I need to head to the doctor when they open on Tuesday for a referral to the EPU who will discuss what needs to be done to "manage" things. What should I expect?

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ShimmeryPixie · 29/05/2011 15:38

I did, of course, mean to write implantation...

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milkyway07 · 29/05/2011 16:04

Hi ShimmeryPixie, I'm really sorry about this. I hope you are okay.

I suspect that at the EPU they might re-scan you and discuss what you would like to do. They will either ask you if you would like to wait and let the miscarriage occur naturally or whether you would like to have an ERPC or medical management of miscarriage. You may want to discuss these routes with your consultant in detail and see what is best for you, but through my experience I found with my missed miscarriages medical management was better than the ERPC as I hate needles.

They may take bloods to measure your hcg levels, and if these are declining rapidly you may want to wait for things to occur naturally.

How are you feeling? This is a horrible thing for any woman to go through, and I always found talking about it helps. I hope you are getting the support at home, and look after yourself.

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ShimmeryPixie · 29/05/2011 16:14

Thanks Milkyway. I was a bit numb at first really. Now I'm just feeling really sad, as we'd been trying for almost a year and this was the first time anything worked at all.

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BlueCrane · 29/05/2011 16:42

shimmery I am so so sorry to hear your news Sad How many weeks should you have been when you had the scan? We had the same happen on thursday at our 12 week scan. We were referred straight to the EPU where they offered me an ERPC (medical removal of the sac etc under general anesthetic) or to wait for it to happen naturally. We opted for the natural route though am yet to have any cramps, bleeding, or indeed any signs of anything happening! I have another scan booked for 7th June but will be calling the hospital this Tuesday to find out what the wait would be for an ERPC if I need to have one.

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ShimmeryPixie · 29/05/2011 16:57

I should have been 8 weeks. The sac measured for around 6 weeks, but there just wasn't anything in it. I'm not sure I could take the wait for the natural route, but also am not sure about the idea of ERPC, so hopefully medical management will be offered.

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milkyway07 · 29/05/2011 17:04

I'm so sorry - it's so cruel and unfair. I know nothing anyone says right now will make you feel any better, but time really does heal. You can never forget the pain or sadness, but gradually things will get better. I know it's still raw for you right now, so cry and let it all out for as long as you want. Eat loads of chocolate and be kind to yourself.

If you're working I would recommend taking a week or so off if you can to give yourself time to re-group.

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wellieboots · 30/05/2011 12:34

So so sorry Sad - the same thing happened to me just before Christmas at my 12 wk scan, and there is nothing more Sad than just looking at that empty space and all your hopes and dreams, especially if you had been trying for so long.

I opted for ERPC for the simple reason that it gave me some control, and that my body still hadn't shown any sign of what was wrong and my hormone levels were high so a natural could have taken quite some time to happen. I was also still feeling very pg, and I found that really upsetting and wanted that to be over. You should be given the options of waiting for a natural or having surgical or medical management.

Please look after yourself, surround yourself with lots of support (it may come from unexpected places....) and take it very easy. There are lots of fabulous people on here who helped me so much to come to terms with what had happened - I just felt like I wasn't on my own.

lots of love x

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ShimmeryPixie · 30/05/2011 12:49

Thank you. I just feel so sad. I made the mistake of Googling it and found things talking about misdiagnosis (due to tilted wombs), but that seems more than unlikley - there're also you tube videos of anembryonic scans and they look just like mine. There's just nothing there.

I'd like it to be over really :(, as I still have symptoms (i.e. my boobs really, really hurt). I want to get my body/cycle back to normal, as then I feel I could at least focus on trying again.

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BlueCrane · 30/05/2011 14:19

shimmery really hope you get some answers soon and that you get good advice at your appointment tomorrow! Thinking of you...as the others have said - take some time to rest and try to avoid going back to work too soon and keep talking...I have def found mumsnet a lifeline over the past few days!

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IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 30/05/2011 19:05

Shimmery I am so sorry that you are going through this. I started bleeding lightly at 11 weeks and found following a referral for a scan that it was an empty sac too. In some ways I was fairly lucky in the fact that it started to come away naturally that evening so there was no need for any intervention.

Up until that point there was no indication that anything was wrong, although I had very few symptoms throughout but boobs remained huge & sore right up to the end.

As some have said, take plenty of time off to deal with it both physically & emotionally xx

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irishhope · 30/05/2011 19:52

Hi ShimmeryPixie,
I am so sorry for ur loss. I too had a mmc 2 weeks ago after the 5th mc in Feb. It was a really hard thing to come to terms with, cruel - I had decided to go for medical management but after discussing all with my dp he convinced me to have a ERPC- I did and was so glad I did! One needle and it was all over........I woke up fine and was home in 3 hours..although the mental scars are there I think it helped...I have now been referred to St. Marys which gives me something to concentrate on. Everybody is different discuss all with ur doc...Good luck!

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thighslapper · 30/05/2011 20:02

Hi there, unfortunately i have had 3 of these. I am told that i am very evry unusaul and i actually went on after my 1st to have ds so there is no reason why you should not go on to have a normal healthy pregnancy.

I chose to wait for nature to take its course, unfortunately this was just awful, i knew at 7 weeks, and didnt miscarry until i was 13 weeks, still with very strong pregnany symptoms, nausea, sore breasts, exhaustion etc.
The wait was awful beyond words.

2nd & 3rd i had medical manegment or an abortion pill (awful name) and it all ended in about 12 hours, but i did have to stay in hospital as i needed morphine & gas & air, very painful.

Sincere sympathies, i really feel for you x

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ShimmeryPixie · 30/05/2011 20:21

I'm sorry you've all been here too. Thanks for your replies.

The idea of it taking weeks just to get started is a bit more than I think I could take, so hopefully they will offer me medical management or ERPC. It's just so frustrating (not quite the word, but I can't identify the right one). I really thought it would work out and I'd been so good & followed all the rules/advice.

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thighslapper · 30/05/2011 20:29

There is nothing that you did to make this happen. Please dont think that.
I can honestly say that the ONLY thing that made me feel some comfort was the fact that i did every thing right and was so very careful. I did nothing to cause my losses.
After 5 mcs, i could have thrown myself of a building had i even contemplated that i had done anything to cause the loss of my much wanted, carefully planned and very much loved form the second we found out we were having a baby.

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ShimmeryPixie · 31/05/2011 13:04

As a quick update - miscarriage was confirmed this morning at the hospital and medical management was offered. Assuming it all works as it should, most of it should be over on Thursday. I'm having this week off to deal with it and regroup.

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Angelgirl79 · 31/05/2011 13:47

Hi Shimmery Pixie, i have just found your thread. Im so sorry to read what you have gone through and can empathise. I am in the same situation at the moment. I went for a scan at what I thought would be 6 weeks and saw an empty gestational sac measuring 5 week 4 days. The sonographer advised me to come back a week later. I went back a week later and was told it had grown 1mm and was still empty and was not a viable pregnancy. I was referred to the EPU at my local hospital. I went there on Friday and had a scan which showed no growth but as it was my first scan there they will not intervene until they have scanned me again in 2 weeks. I told them that i had had brown spotting. This has since turned into brown/red bleeding but is not heavy. I dont think i can wait until 10th June so was thinking of asking for an earlier appointment. I too have trawled the internet looking for hope but am slowly coming to terms with what is happening now the bleeding has started. Thinking of you xxx

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Missgiraffe1 · 31/05/2011 16:40

Sorry to hear your news Shimmery, was going through the same thing a few weeks ago. Googled obsessively, holding onto any little bit of hope re tilted uterus (and incompetent sonographers!). Had the ERPC on Monday 16th, should have been just over 9 weeks. Sac had grown to 9 weeks, but no baby.
I felt cheated by my body. I had nausea, the need to pee often, VERY sore boobs etc. Then, to find out there was no baby, well it was just heartbreaking.
Am coming to terms with it now though, and am planning to start TTC again. I hope you have some support to help you through the next few weeks, and - as others have said - being able to share your fears, thoughts, experiences etc with other women on here who really know what you're going through is invaluable.
Thinking of you x

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Angelgirl79 · 31/05/2011 16:53

Sorry to hear you have been through the same thing missgiraffe. ive still got horrendous nausea and am exhausted - i too feel cheated and am struggling with the wait. I havent told anyone apart from close family in RL and am struggling in work to concentrate or think of anything else. It feels like im in a parralel world if that makes sense. Did you tell work - where they understanding? Im not sure what to do for the best, i feel like i need some time off but i dont know what reaction i will get xx

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ShimmeryPixie · 31/05/2011 17:03

Thank you. Sorry you both had and have the same. Missgiraffe01 - I know what you mean about feeling cheated - I have sore boobs and exhaustion (though the tiredness has faded a little recently), and I kept thinking that if I just got to 8 weeks then everything would probably be OK.

My husband is being wonderful and very very supportive. I'm not telling the rest of my family as, although I love them, they have severe trouble keeping things to themselves.

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Glitterybits · 31/05/2011 20:42

Just wanted to pop by and offer an unmumsnetty hug. The same thing happened to me at our 12 week scan and it is just horrible. I was encouraged to opt for the natural route and would never ever do it again as it was pretty horrific, but we are all different and you must do whatever makes you feel most comfortable and in control. The continuing pregnancy symptoms after miscarriage has been confirmed are so very unfair. I found wine and chocolate to be very comforting in the early days.

Not wishing to sound like the angel of doom, but don't be surprised if you cope really well at first only for you to feel at a bit of a loss a few weeks/ months down the line. Keep talking to people here. MN kept me sane when everyone in RL assumed I had got over it.

I also really empathise with the terrible sense of loss and injustice after you have been TTC for a while. It took me a long time to get back to normal after my blighted ovum, but I am now 32 weeks pregnant and hopeful that things will be okay this time. I hope in a little while that you feel ready and able to try again. As milkyway says, it does get a little easier with time. Look after yourself.

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hotcrossSES · 31/05/2011 21:11

ShimmeryPixie - really sorry to hear you're going through this. Sending big hugs xx

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Missgiraffe1 · 02/06/2011 12:22

Angel, I told my immediate boss, who is lovely (51year old male, but very in touch with his feminine side, in a hetrosexual way - if you know what I mean) but didn't tell my colleagues. Just said I'd be off for a week. One of them text me a questioning text, which though was quite rude. If I had wanted to tell him WHY I was off, I would have told him in my earlier text.
Guess it just depends. I don't know why, but I didn't like the feeling of all my colleagues knowing the last time (ectopic). I had excitedly, but stupidly, spilled the beans far too early about the pregnancy, so had no option really.

Shimmery Glad your DH is doing his job Wink. Its hard for them too, think I gave my DH a bit of a hard time at beginning Blush, I was all 'me me me'. Feel a bit bad about that, but he is very understanding (and patient!)

Glittery congratulations, wishing you all the best.

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ShimmeryPixie · 03/06/2011 21:30

As an update, medical management went ahead yesterday (tablet on Tuesday, in hospital yesterday for the main event). I'm glad I chose to be in hospital, as it was very very difficult. I needed lots of painrelief (including pethidine which then sent my blood pressure crazy) and I would not have been able to handle it at home. The nurses were lovely though.

Those of my workmates who knew about the pregnancy seem to have worked out what has happened, so I shouldn't have too many difficult conversations when I go back. Otherwise I'm just trying to keep fairly busy so I don't stew too much.

Angelgirl and BlueCrane - thinking of you. HotcrossSES - thanks.

Finally, congratulations Glittery. Hopefully I will get there too before too long.

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