When did you start trying again after mc?

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

ERPC was two weeks ago tomorrow. Nothing much is happening but I know that some of you got pg straight away afterwards. So, assuming all usual signs are up the creak, roughly when did you start trying? After a week, fortnight? Obviously I know it depends on bleeding etc but if I had some idea when to kick off it might help. I'm so clueless.

Sorry if this all sounds a bit calculated, I don't have time on my side and it took 7 months to get the last bfp.

[harassedinherpants]

Well, we're back in the saddle so to speak and haven't taken any precautions. I swear we must be almost twins as I also don't have time on my side and took 6 months to get last bfp.

I kind of figure what will be will be, and some of my friends swear blind I'm going to be very fertile. Apparently my body is now in "pregnant" mode to mmc, and someone else told me the erpc would have give me a good clean out.... All sounds like old wives tales to me though.

Tbh, I just can't be arsed with contraception at the moment. It's really been the last thing on my mind.

[chocadoodle]

We started trying again after the bleeding stopped from the first mc. I became pg again straight away (apparently there's a fertility surge after mc similar to after childbirth).

Sadly I then had another mc. So, this time I'm definitely following Drs advice and waiting until after 1st AF. Last time I went along with people telling me that medical staff advise you to wait just for dating reasons blah blah blah. Having now spoken in more depth about it with my GP I'm going to take her word for it this time that the reason to wait is medical. Hormones are not settled back to normal until first AF and this may be the reason I mc for the second time. The hormones didn't support the pregnancy.

I know what you mean about time not being on side, but if leaving it for just 4 extra weeks means I get a healthy baby rather than a 3rd mc then I'm prepared to wait. Apparently the fertility surge lasts about 3 months anyway.

Saying all this though, there's lots of people on here who went on to get pg immediately after mc with no AF and everything turned out fine. So, I guess if you've stopped bleeding and you really feel like you can't wait for a new cycle to start then go for it. Good luck.

[Tokyotwist]

I'm with Chocadoodle on this one. I had an ERPC Wednesday, and the advice at Hosp was that it takes at least 1 cycle for the lining of the womb to return to the right thickness after being scraped/vacuumed. I was told the procedure would make it much thinner than it should be to support a new baby and therefore may increase the chances of another miscarriage.

I am going to wait for a proper period but I understand how you feel. Part of me wants to get straight back in there but another part is so scared of having another miscarriage I'm not sure I can face it so soon. The latter is winning at the moment.

[mousebacon]

I'm with chocadoodle too. I had a natural mc in October then had to have an erpc 2 weeks later due to retained products. It had taken me a year to get pg so we were amazed to get pg again about 3 weeks later.

Sadly the pregnancy wasn't to be. I had spotting from about 6 weeks and even though we saw a hb at 8 weeks we were told our baby had died at our 12 week scan.

Devastated doesn't cover it. We're desperate for a baby but will definately wait until I've had AF just to be on the safe side. I think a third mc would lead to a total breakdown

I'm v lucky to have a ds so I know my body can do this but I've lost all faith in my ability to carry a child.

In practical terms you must wait until the bleeding has completely stopped before DTD again due to the risk of infection.

[hester]

I ttc'ed for 14 months, then got pg, then miscarried. I started again the next month, and got pg the month after that.

It was a devastating experience, but I am so thrilled to now have the child I have. Best of luck to you xx

[daimbardiva]

I miscarried in early November, and was advised to wait to have one period before trying again. Happily it only took me two months to conceive after that - at 6 weeks now, and keeping everything crossed!!!

Best of luck to you x

[CountBapula]

I got pg straight after an mc with no period in between. The docs had told me to wait for dating reasons and I thought "sod that" - I was charting so knew exactly when I was ovulating etc. If I'd been told to wait for medical reasons I probably would have. Anyway, all went well and DS is four months old now.

It was a v early mc so no scraping etc - nature just took its course and it was just like an extra-long period. For me, trying again immediately helped me deal with the emotional fallout; I imagine for others it may be several months before they feel emotionally ready to try again.

[fannybaws]

Had a miscarraige in Feb, started trying again once bleeding stopped, pregnant again in May.
Ds now 4 weeks old.
Good luck x

[MumTumWanted]

miscarried over xmas and was told to wait for AF before trying again, but really want to try ASAP as due to get married in the caribbean next April, we had thought when we booked it we would have an 8 month old but sadly thats not to be, Have decided for practical reasons, more than our own sanity that if i can get BFP before April this year we can cop with taking a 3 month old with us. But this means ive got - hopefully - 2 cycles to try or my DH2B wants to wait till after the wedding which i do agree with but mean i have to wait for another year before TTC again and i dont really want to wait that long. Fingers crossed for ne, I OV tested on Friday and got a + so hopefully AF will arrive withint he next 2 weeks then we can start trying....

[grippingon]

Miscarried March last year. Had one period 6 weeks later (4 May), now 38 weeks preg. Agree there must be some sort of fertility surge as my conception practically immaculate ! Good luck and big hugs to you xx

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Thanks everyone. Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I was reading and digesting. Ideally I want to get on as soon as possible but I don't want to do something that might increase the risk of having to go through that again. I know there are no guarantees about anything, I've learnt that over the last few weeks. But it's interesting and helpful to read your experiences, as always.

DH is very keen to go for it, I'm holding back slightly I guess because I also don't think it'll wipe out what's happened in the way that he thinks it will.

Hmmm... oh well, thanks everyone. Good luck to everyone who needs it :) x

[aMuminwaiting]

I miscarried for the second time on October and this month is only my second where I've ovulated so now I'm on day one of the dreaded TWW.

You're absolutely right, it does not wipe out what's happened and I'm sure deep down your DH knows that. Every major thing that's happens to us will change us a little and I will always think about the babies I've lost. Yesterday I was sitting in the GP waiting room helping my mum hobble in and thought next time I'm here it could be because I'm pregnant again. And I felt such a rush of fear. But I want to be a mum so much that I have to keep trying and hoping that next time will be the time it happens.

It's taken a good six months after both miscarriages to get my body functioning properly again. And the mental scars never really go. Just because your body is ready doesn't mean you are. My DH and I tried as soon as I stopped bleeding because we both felt another pregnancy would give us something positive to focus on rather than the pain of loss. But every person is different. If you can't face putting yourself through it all again then don't. I know it would be your DH's baby too but it's your body. I think a lot of people forget that it's not one thing that goes whirling through your head every day when you're trying again. You think of the babies you've already lost, there's guilt (no matter how misplaced) the feeling that everyone else will be disappointed if it all goes wrong...and so much more. I don't know about you but I also have a sister in law who is six months pregnant now and a MIL who thinks I should stop thinking about myself and just be happy for her. It all piles on top.

But my DH and I are in our own protective bubble now and don't see people who we know only want to hurt us. We see friends and family who are supportive. It's why I feel ready for another pregnancy. I hope things work out for you and for all of us.

[Mrspositivity]

Hi... reading all the above has made me feel a little more positive.
I miscarried at 6 weeks in December 2010 and then luckily got pregnant again in Feb. Sadly I lost this baby at 3 months and 3 days,a day before we were to have the dating scan.
Early days I know, but I feel calm . Because what I am begining to realise was that mentally I just wasn't ready. Looking back at how I was I feel a huge sadness for the person I was, a person who quite frankly was drowning in loss and hadn't confronted it. As soon as I was discharged from hospital I knew that this time I needed help. So, I got in contact with Miscarriage association and had some good chats with a surpport group. I have also got a councillor and ok it will cost a second mortgage I just know that mentally I shall be ready when we try again.
Ladies, it has been so good to hear stories of third time triumphs. I only hear 'after my 4 or 6th m.c I had a healthy baby'. Too me that sounds awful,can we survive that amount of heartache (and yes I would, because each time you try you put yourself out there to be heart broken).
And as I write this (am I having a Carey Bradshaw moment from Sex in the city) I can't help but wonder. Maybe having a miscarriage (given that there are no obvious reasons)is actually a sign of a healthy body. A body which can vet and be selective. I think this a momentry lapse of positivity,the truth is although I like to believe this most of the time some b**rd has really got it in for me.
And here's a question for the lucky ones who got through to bright side... did you think that really this just aint going to happen? Did you sit around thinking of ways to seduce your husband because lets not forget, they have the raw deal of having to witness their partner reduced to fruity louper who becomes obessed with cushion making,running, chicken buying, you name it just avoid actually dealing with what actually was hurting them,loss.SO,can you really blame a man for actually thinking twice to signing up for a third time of nuttiness?
Good to talk, I really hope you all find your peace and never give up. I'm not... but then again, I am a bit of a fruity louper!

[peedieworky]

Hi - I miscarried last year after almost 2 years of trying to conceive. Waited till after 1st period to try again & within 6 months was pregnant. Currently 1 week overdue with bump. One thing I would say is that at the time, I felt very alone and very unusual. Everyone seemed to have babies easily but me. It seemed I was wrong and there's almost a secret society. When we announced the news we waited till after the 28 week scan to tell those who weren't immediate family/very close friends. So many of the women I told said they could understand my hesitancy as they'd experienced miscarriages. I was stunned! Of all the females in our social group I can count on one hand the ones who never experienced miscarriage. I don't know why but I took heart in this - although I wish I'd known at the time, when I felt alone & somehow to blame.

[Mrspositivity]

OOO thanks Peedieworky, you're right there is some kind of secret society.
Goodluck with the bumpx