Didn't get my happy ending. Please give me some hope.

[jocesar]

Had my repeat scan today after the longest 2 weeks of my life. Didn't have any more symptoms during the 2 weeks so stupidly but unavoidably started getting my hopes up. Then started bleeding yesterday and knew that it was over.

Had the scan today which confirmed no heartbeat- baby measured about 9 weeks. This is my 2nd mmc in 6 months and I'm gutted. Am booked in for an ERPC tomorrow but am on the emergency list so no guarentee I'll get done. Am starting to stress re GA complications and inept surgeons but cannot stand waiting around for things to happen naturally. Am beginning to wonder if ERPC is a selfish option as my little boy would be motherless if something went wrong. Hopefully I'm being over dramatic?

Anyhow, there's absolutely nothing I can do to change the situation. Just have to start ttc again.

Welshmummy- if you read this, how are you doing?

[youremindmeofthebabe]

Oh, I really feel for you, that 2 week wait is horrific, isn't it? I still had a tiny glimmer of hope until the 2nd scan, even though i knew then it wasn't really possible that my dates were that out.

I too had all the same thoughts that you had re GA and my son too. I think that what made my mind up to have the surgery was the fact that I might have been away from him for a couple of days in hospital with medical, and then might have to have the surgery anyway. But even though they class it as a "minor" op, it doesn't make it feel any better nerves-wise. However it is Very safe, the GA doesn't last that long, you've already had a GA before and the chances of you reacting to it are virtually non-existent.

So good luck, it will be ok, and you'll be up and around caring for your DS in virtually no time.

[youremindmeofthebabe]

Bloody hell, I'm sorry, I meant to say I'm really sorry for your losses. ((hugs))

[rosieposey]

So sorry you are going through this - especially twice in 6 months, thats rubbish :( I went through this two and a half years ago as well and it was horrible. I opted to wait for the ms to happen naturally for the same reasons as you but i wished i hadnt when it did eventually happen, i had to wait nearly 7 weeks for my body to realise and it hurt like hell. Try not to worry about the ERPC (easier said than done i know) i think (having been through the natural method at nearly 12 weeks) its the least painful option and will allow you to continue to ttc again fairly quickly.

Be kind to yourself and rest as much as you can, once again so sorry :(

[Brokenbits]

I am so sorry for you. What a horrible 6 months this must have been. I'm just here to try to make you feel a bit better about your decision to have the ERPC. You aren't being selfish. If anything, I think you're being the opposite as your recovery time will possibly be quicker and your little one won't have to see his Mummy in pain if you had a bad natural experience.

Not to be overly dramatic from the other perspective, but I opted to do things naturally, thinking I was doing my body a favour and I've ended up with so many problems it's untrue. Everybody pushes you towards the non-medical option - partly because it's less risk for them (or so I thought) and obviously easier, but I've realised that there can be just as much risk attached to miscarrying naturally as there can with the surgery.

I suffered horrible labour-like pain for hours and bled continuously for 3 months before I put myself on the pill to try and stop the bleeding. Nobody had any answers and everyone told me to just wait it out. 10 months down the line and I'm seeking fertility treatment in the hopes of getting my body working again. To think I was told that there was a risk of scarring and damage with the surgery seems laughable now considering my body isn't working anyway!

Sorry, didn't mean to make this post about me. I just wanted to reassure you that whatever feels like the right decision for you now is the right decision for you and your family. I can put my hand on my heart and say that I will be taking the ERPC route if I'm ever unfortunate enough to have this happen to me again. I wish you all the best for a speedy recovery and hope that the good news you deserve will come your way very soon.

[MummyAbroad]

I'm so sorry for you jocesar. That
is really sad news.

I had a similar experience to brokenbits in that I chose natural and it all went wrong and I regret it now.

My baby measured 8 weeks, but by the time I had found out 14 weeks had passed. I have since read that naturally manged m/c are more successful when the baby is very young (5/6 weeks) and your body is already showing signs of starting to do things itself (mine wasnt)

If I had known that I might have been more open to the ERPC - which I had to have in the end anyway and the recovery was fine!

Wishing you a really speedy recovery, and lots of good fortune in the future to make up for all this rubbish you're going through!
xxxxxx

[sotough]

hi, so sorry that you are going through this. your original post asks for hope. i just wanted to say that i went through two years of this - miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage, all around eight or nine weeks. Four of them in all, two of them MMCs, and it was hell. I'm in my mid 30s and despite every test under the sun we have never had a conclusive diagnosis for my losses.
here's the hope bit: i'm now 18 weeks pregnant. i'm not taking anything for granted, but hopefully my experience will show that miracles - and it really feels like a miracle to us - can happen. all you can do is pick yourself up, when you're ready, and keep going. you will get through this.

[jocesar]

Thanks sotough, that's exactly what I want to hear! I'm keeping everything crossed for you.

[kalo12]

jocesar - i am going through the same thing today and it is also my 2nd in 6 months and my third in total. Rubbish isn't it?.

sotough - what investigations do they do for recurrent miscarriage? I have one child so I know that it has been possible for me to have a child. I am in my late 30's