Confused and scared and hospital not helpfull

[Lissarria]

had spotting and a scan on 21st jusy. baby noly 4-5weeks in size and should have been 8-9. 24th/25 july i had very bad bleeding/clots. ended up in A&E as going thru pad/clothes every 20-30mins was told likely to be worst of it and wanted to check all tissue gone. had 2nd scan on 28th july and sac still in uterus but low down. Was told shouldnt be more than about a week or could have ERPC. never had GA or anything so idea terrified me when already distraught as thought worst was over. checked i could come in for ERPC if i changed my mind and was told that would be fine. Bleeding then slowed down/stopped till was only getting brownish mucousy discharge. past 2 days no blood and almost no discharge. Still have bad almost continuos cramping in stomach. Called hospital and was told probably not finished and will likely start again. I am now terrified that i have to go through all this again. I am in such a state not even waning to go out in case it starts again and scared of showering in case baby comes out in shower. Called hospital yesterday and had to explain to both a nurse AND doctor that i was suffering a miscarriage and was not pregnant (both kept asking how far thru pregnancy i was, doctor even suggested that pregnancy may still be viable!?!?) i was then told that they had no space to see me and that i am not high priority and have to wait for my rescan on august 11th. I am scared and upset and barely coping with my 2 little boys atm and for past 2-3 days have been nearly constantly in tears. I am devastated as i was told i could have ERPC if i changed my mind but apparently as i am not bleeding atm and my cramps aren't deemed bad enough by them i cant have a scan so no ERPC. I am not sure how i can cope for another 5/6 days like this. and on top of that i don't feel like i trust the hospital anymore as they have me feel very upset and unimportant. No one explained what expect and they still dont seem to offer anything other than 'well if you are still cramping it probably isn't over yet' Sorry for the huge rant but i am feeling so scared and lonely atm and the one place i thought should offer me help has basically told me to go away. anyone have any advice of been thru something similar i would really like your help/opinions as no one else seems to be helping.

[welshmummy2B]

im so sorry to hear that you are going through this, i went through the same thing in december only i was 8w 4days. i was in agony but apparently women dont have problems over xmas, i was left feeling awfull and worse i didnt tell my family i was pregnant so ended up missing all the chrismas celebrations and told them i had the sickness bug and didn want them to catch it. i bleed then stopped then started agian, i went back and fore AandE but nothing was done i too had to wait for a scan but before i had an appointment made i knew i had passed the baby. even my syrongest painkillers didnt get rid of any of the pains. i felt so alone...i couldnt tell you if there is chance baby is ok or not because i honestly not got a clue but i hope you feel better soon and no matter what happens with baby good luck for the future x

[MunchMummy]

When this happened to me I had the most intense pains and bleeding for about 3 days. Didn't clear the sac though. Bleeding stopped for about 1.5 weeks. Then cramps started again, but this time the sac came out within the hour and that was it. Just some gentle bleeding afterwards and no cramps for a few days.

Keep strong, its not nice is it.

[Lissarria]

Thanks for the replies.

I think i am doing a bit better now. Kinda resigned to waiting till next scan now but well i dont have a choice. Very hard though, i seem to be getting all the bad parts, Feeling sick, almost continuous stomach cramps, head aches, tiredness.

The hospital upset me because i was told i could go in ahd have an ERPC if i felt i couldn't wait any more and when half way thru the 2 week wait till next scan i called and asked i was told they could not fit me in before (even tho it was 6-7 days before.I made sure with the previous scan when i chose to wait that i could change my mind and have the op and they said that that as fiine and warned it may not be possible for any reason till i called up asking for itand was told there were no free appointmentsand that i was not high priority.

I really think they need to factor in psychological factors to not just phsyical

Bleeding has stopped nearly 5 days ago now but i am having such bad stomach cramps. I am sooo tired now too as i can't sleep because of them and then when i do get to sleep i have nightmares or bad dreams.

welshmummy2B I am so sorry your had to go through this alone at christmas it ust have been so awful for you. Hospitals really need to do something over weekends and holidays there is no excuse even though nothing can be done early in pregnancy t stop miscarriage it doesnt mean women do not need the help and support and to know what is happening. Regarding my situation there is no chance the baby will be ok. I am part way thru the miscarriage, there is no heartbeat and baby is now about 7 weeks behind on growth. Sorry i didnt make much sense i was very upset at the time.

MunchMummy thank you for your story it must have been hard for you but really helped. I hate how no one tells you whatto expect. the only thing i was told was 'it can be like a heavy period'

Octopusinabox i ca't believe how bad some of the medical profession are. They only seem to think of immediate physical problems and totaly ignore all the emotional and psycolgical side which for myself at least is by far the hardest part. My Husband is helping as much as he can but i am by myself with my children while he is at work (i have been given strict instructions to call him if i get bad bleeding or feel very ill and he will come home tho)

[MummyAbroad]

I really feel for you Lissaria, you sound really worried and scared and it just doesn't seem fair that the hospital aren't helping you as much as you need right now.

I had my miscarriage 5 months ago, with a lot of complications afterwards, I remember what a nightmare it was trying to find answers to your questions and not knowing what to expect. I had to try several different doctors and I am now seeing a therapist which really helps. I am not in the UK, so I didn't try contacting www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/but many people on here say it is very good.

I think if you are not getting all the help you need from the hospital, don't give up. Try and get help elsewhere, you really shouldn't suffer through this alone. Can you go back to your GP and talk to him about the psychological effects? You can ask him to refer you to a therapist (I'm afraid there will be a waiting list, but its a good idea to get in the queue now, you can always cancel the appointment later if you feel you don't need it.)

For factual information about miscarriage you might find this site helpful, it really helped me.

www.pregnancyloss.info

hope this helps,

best wishes xxxxx

[dotty2]

So sorry to hear what you're going through. I had a similar experience a few years ago now and was left waiting "for nature to take its course" by the hospital and ended up feeling terrible confused and isolated. I called NHS Direct, mainly for some factual information but ended up speaking to the most fantastically sympathetic midwife who talked to me for over an hour and kept telling me not to feel like I was taking up too much of her time. I may have been exceptionally lucky in finding someone so kind - but it's worth a go if you feel you need someone to talk to.

[PinkFondantFancy]

Hi lissarria so sorry to hear about your loss. I had v similar situation -had bleeding at 8.5 weeks but scan showed baby size 5w 5d. I then bled very heavily and when I had a scan the following week I'd lost the sack although had a lot of other products left. I was terrified about seeing the baby and I'm not sure whether this is any reassurance or not but my baby was only 4mm long when it was scanned, and I didn't see it or feel it fall out, as I lost a lot of tissue generally.

I hope you've managed to find someone sympathetic to talk to, the advice other ladies have posted on this thread seems very good.

[jennbobs]

i am currently going through similar situation. I went for my 12 week scan on 13th july to be told they couldn't see anything on scan so i was made an appointment at the epu for the following friday, on that scan i was told that they could see a baby measuring approx 5 weeks and an enlarged sac. i was given all 3 options but decided upon natural miscarriage as the thought of an op is terrifying to me as i have never had one before... anyway to cut long story short ,i started to bleed thursday 15th july and still bleeding, after weekly scans the sac is still there as of this friday 13th august and showing no signs of passing anytime soon as it is still high up, i was convinced i had lost it last wednesady as i had an extremely heavy gush of blood followed my a fist sized clot, had to change my pad every 10 mins for 40 mins then settled back down to normal period type loss so i was horrified to find it still not budged.
Has anyone else took so long to expel the 'product' naturally ?? i am starting to worry that maybe i have made wrong descision to lose naturally as its dragging out so long