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Ok, is this it? <waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllll>

(46 Posts)
MaryChristmaZEverybody Wed 26-Dec-12 23:14:50

No period (having been on time, bang on time for 36 years). And I'm sitting here in a t-shirt while the kids are huddled under slankets wanting to turn the heating on.

And it isn't all the wine. 'cos I've only had a couple of glasses and I feel slightly sick which isn't due to the chocolate

Help. What's next?

PenisColada Wed 26-Dec-12 23:18:24

Pregnant ?

SparklySanta Wed 26-Dec-12 23:20:07

Maybe just under the weather?

Assuming you aren't /can't be pregnant, have you ever missed one before?

MaryChristmaZEverybody Wed 26-Dec-12 23:24:23

Definitely not pregnant. I'm 50 ffs <mutters>

I dunno, I've just been feeling pmt-ish (as in pretty bad tempered) for a week, but put it down to Christmas angst. But my period is now a week late, and I am getting what I can only describe as hot flushes.

No, apart from during fertility treatment and when pregnant with ds2 I have never been even a day late since I was 13.

Maybe I've just run out of blood [hopeful]

PrideOfChanur Wed 26-Dec-12 23:28:44

Look on the bright side - having no periods is absolutely wonderful grin

But it might just be a hiccup in your cycle? Or maybe you are going down with something? Xmas stress?
Though out of those I'd prob go for the menopause (haven't had a proper hot flush yet though,so might change my mind on that...!)

MaryChristmaZEverybody Wed 26-Dec-12 23:35:16

I would love to have no periods.

I'm just wondering what shite the female body is going to throw at me to replace periods grin. I assume something else shitty?

I'm now shivering.

Maybe it's flu [hopeful]

<pours another glass of wine>

PrideOfChanur Wed 26-Dec-12 23:44:25

Such a festive choice - flu or the menopause!! grin

Maybe your body will move past the whole period bit without replacing it with anything horrible? <pollyannaish smile>

I could tell you about the depressing way the layer of,well,fat (not much,honest) overlaying my finely muscled body has taken on a life of its own...but I won't. It is Christmas,after all...

<Gets self wine >

MaryChristmaZEverybody Wed 26-Dec-12 23:47:16

I already have a friendly layer of fat. I can live with that.

I know what's going to happen of course. Nothing for another week and then floods for New Years Eve.

<mutters more>

PrideOfChanur Wed 26-Dec-12 23:53:32

Good luck with that! smile

ViperInTheManger Wed 26-Dec-12 23:59:23

I had a couple of years of irregular periods from about 49-51 and only vaguely stopped after that (still have one now and again just to catch me out!) Maybe you are stopping but maybe you are just becoming less regular.

MissBoPeep Thu 27-Dec-12 09:20:02

You'd expect your periods to be irregular to some extent at 50-ish.

Having a temp could be anything. A hot flush is more like a wave of heat that hits you over a minute or so then subsides.

Anything can happen to your periods now- shorter cycles, longer cycles, missing a few, becoming regular again for a few years- anything! This could go on for up to 5 years.

And BTW the oldest recorded natural birth is to a woman of 56- so you aren't too old to sprog smile

MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 10:10:53

Thanks MissBoPeep hmm - I'm definitely too old to sprog <stamps foot>

This ageing business doesn't appear to be much fun.

In fact, the entire reproductive system could do with a bit of tweaking. It's very badly designed imo.

digerd Thu 27-Dec-12 11:16:05

My sister's gyny told her if she got pregnant at 55 it would be a miracle conception - when she came off the pill. The records for the oldest giving birth was 48, that was before IVF.

Each woman's menopause is different. My sis, being on the pill untill 55, had none- even afterwards. Mine began at 48, although periods were regular, but shorter and less until 52. Gyny said I would not be ovulating though. My symptoms were night sweats, muzzy brain, heavy legs and aches and pains. Until I went on the HRT, while still having periods, and I was cured.

eatyourveg Thu 27-Dec-12 11:27:37

A few weeks a go I thought this was it but then 7 weeks later wham bam an unwanted xmas present. I assume the painters will just turn up whenever they want now having no particular appointment to keep.

Hot flushes are the worst bit I reckon. The dc are used to the dramatic mood swings and I have a theory that its nature's way of telling the dc its time to leave the nest

MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 11:46:47

yy to telling children to leave the nest.

I am more moody than my teenagers these days. Which is saying something as they are pretty damn moody themselves.

I almost feel sorry for dh.

I would like my periods to just stop, please, and then I can slip gracefully into old age. Alternatively, I'm going to try to persuade my gp to send me to get my innards removed (when I can afford the trip to the gp, which is another story altogether).

<wanders off, muttering under breath in an old-gimmerish sort of way>

MissBoPeep Thu 27-Dec-12 11:48:05

digerd My gynae is a fertility consultant and meno expert- in one of his books he says that 56 is the oldest recorded for a natural conception. DH had an ex girlfiriend whose mum gave birth at almost 50.

There are quite a lot of cases where women have popped out a very late one in their early 50s- assuming they were infertile and took a chance!

MissBoPeep Thu 27-Dec-12 11:49:38

(when I can afford the trip to the gp, which is another story altogether).

You outside the UK then?

MissBoPeep Thu 27-Dec-12 11:52:42

It's good timing.

You'll be able to stock up on elastic waist trousers and twin sets in the sales.

MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 11:54:25

Yes, Ireland. Where if I go to the gp she will charge me 50 euro and refer me to a gynae who will charge me 150 euro to tell me that there's nothing wrong with me.


I AM NOT PREGNANT. I'm not. Really I'm not. ds2 was a miracle and I was 36 then. It's just all waiting for New Year's Eve, and then it will be a bloodbath. I just know it [sigh].

MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 11:55:24

And you lot are a crowd of Job's fucking Comforters aren't you.

<mutters more>


SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Thu 27-Dec-12 11:56:45

Hmm. I thought I was having mine in June, having been a bit irregular for about a year. June brought no period and bouts of hot flushes. Same with July and August. And then (with excellent timing, the day we arrived in Eurodisney) there it was again. And every month since. Bah. (Am 48 by the way). You're probably starting the menopause, but it can go on for a year or two.

Oi, and Taggie - sod off. I am still leaping around in spandex and leather, thanks.

MissBoPeep Thu 27-Dec-12 12:05:45

. You're probably starting the menopause, but it can go on for a year or two.

hee hee- make that 5- 10.

Average age in UK is 52- and that's not counting the wind down beforehand and all the problems afterwards. My mum still has flushes in her 80s- quite common in fact.

PrideOfChanur Thu 27-Dec-12 14:18:37

Well,that's nice - Job's Comforters,eh? Here we are,trying to be supportive grin sharing our experiences... it was nice on this thread...<sniffs into hanky,stomps off to be ALONE in bedroom>

<returns after rapid mood swing brought on by imagining SGB in Spandex and leather>

InExitCelsisDeo Thu 27-Dec-12 14:22:34

Ho ho ho.

You may think you have a layer of fat, just wait a couple of years when all your fat cells have fizzed and popped and accumulated up your back.

And the loss of oestrogen means you stop giving a fuck about most things, and can't be arsed to cook anymore.

<spreads festive joy>
<with a spade>

And the hot flushes will get worse, much worse.

And you will start to smell............


MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 19:11:19

I'm beginning to wish I hadn't started this thread grin

At least we can retain our sense of humour, despite the doom and gloom.


<ponders telling teenagers to fuck off, I'm in a bad mood and it will last for the next five to ten years>

<which is of course what they should have told me on the eve of their 13th birthdays grin>

FlyOverTheMistletoe Thu 27-Dec-12 19:28:01

MaryZ I offer light peace and happiness (OK - now I'll get flamed) HRT is my friend smile so is winewine & more wine

MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 19:44:44

It's time for wine again I think.

I'm not so sure about HRT - don't you have to go through it all when you come off the HRT?

I think I need to face up to this and put some thought into it hmm

Hassled Thu 27-Dec-12 19:57:44

I went on HRT fairly recently and I bloody love it. It has occurred to me that I'm probably just delaying stuff but meanwhile I'm not crying all the time, I'm not sweating all the time, I have some energy and also - I'm not crying all the time. I was in a bit of a state earlier this year (it turns out periods can speed up before they slow down; I was having two a month) - feel loads better for the HRT. So give it some thought.

MissBoPeep Thu 27-Dec-12 20:46:41

It doesn't necessarily put off the evil day- yes for some, no for others- and you come off it very very gradually over months.

And- yes- some people never come off it. Teresa Gorman has been on it for about 40 years and she swears that the Queen has and the late queen mother too.

The advice of smallest dose for least possible time has been kicked into touch as a result of the latest research. There is probably a small risk but akin to a drink of wine a day, not having any children, and being a stone overweight- in other words a very small risk which some women are willing to take for a better quaity of life.

Putting it in perspective you are- statistically- more likely to die in your car on the motorway- my gynae told me that.

MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 20:57:07

hmm - that's interesting.

I'm on anti-depressants atm, having spent about six months crying earlier this year. But that might have been due to ds's behaviour, rather than the menopause.

I'm deffo having two minute sweaty hot times - I've had half a dozen today and have had my fleece on and off - and got filthies from the kids, who apparently are "frozen".

I'm already a stone overweight (at least), drink a glass of wine a day and have various other increased risk factors (including lumpy breasts), so I'm not so sure.

I'll have to look into it.

MissBoPeep Thu 27-Dec-12 21:48:20

Mary you might like to read Prof John Studd's website where he really slams the current fashion (cop out) of giving ADs to menopausal women- as a substitute for what he thinks should be oestrogen/HRT.

I am not a huge fan of his but he does talk some sense for some of the time. There are other reputable gynae/meno experts who agree pretty generally with what he says.

I suppose if I were you and was thinking about HRT, then I'd try to reduce any risks of HRT by getting myself into shape beforehand, in order to negate the additional risk factors as much as possible- ie weight, wine and whatever! You can't control your lumpy breasts but you can clean up your diet and have a healthier overall lifestyle- which might well reduce your symptoms in any case.

MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 21:56:11

Yes, I think that's the answer.

I've had a shitty few years (ds has gone seriusly off the rails) and I sort of gave up on myself a bit, gained weight, drank more etc. I need to get back in shape, and give myself a kick up the arse.

I needed the anti-depressants - tbh I should have had them five years ago when ds was at his worst, but I tried to cope, and gradually sank. I'm feeling much better and will probably come off them in the new year.

The problem here is really the cost of visiting the gp - if I stop taking them, then I have to make a new series of appointments (at 50 quid a go) to go back on them. And if I stop and can't cope, then I won't be able to deal with the physical symptoms of menopause as well as depression.

I could always nick some of ds's knock-off vallium, I suppose hmm.

I need a complete overhaul - mammogram, smear, blood tests, the lot. But it is so expensive. We aren't poor enough to have a medical card, but don't have the money to get the tests done privately. It's a real issue.

InExitCelsisDeo Thu 27-Dec-12 22:55:18

I am not sure I believe in HRT. Well, actually, that's not true, I know I don't. I am sure in certain circumstances it is the right thing, but I am a great believer in the natural course of things, and the menopause is part of that. Isn't the demise of oestroegen to do with the next generation taking over and you are there to take on a different role.

It is just unfortunate that as an elderly mother, I hit the menopause just as my DD hit puberty, so she is all wired hormones and I don't give a shit.


But I have a 'friend' who met the menopause early and swears by HRT. to the pont where she fiddles it so she never has the 'down' time'

<stirs soup and drums fingers>

MissBoPeep Fri 28-Dec-12 12:04:01

You can look at that 2 ways- years ago not many women lived past 50 and they died from the plague or being eaten by a wolly mammoth.

Women are not designed to live beyond their child rearing years- not in rude health anyway. IMO our biology has not caught up with the advances in modern living, which means we have almost half our lives ahead of us , deprived of hormones. If you look at all the negatives that result from loss of hormones- osteoporosis ( affects 1:2 women over 50), possible bladder problems, atrophied vagina and vulva, heart disease, loss of libido and energy- it seems a poor trade off to think we are somehow being " useful" as elderly members of the tribe while our bodies fall apart. smile

FlibberdeGibbet Fri 28-Dec-12 12:11:21

Blimey BoPeep, that's cheered me up no end?

Anyone watch "Getting On", with Pippa's groundbreaking vag-at study?

Am getting pissed off with cooking at the mo, but think that's just loss of inspiration rather than the big M

InExitCelsisDeo Fri 28-Dec-12 12:29:47

atrophied vagina and vulva

<weeps and wails and rents clothing>

Is it too late for HRT once the menopause has well and truly taken hold?

MaryChristmaZEverybody Fri 28-Dec-12 12:38:59

Well, this thread has really cheered me up grin.

The woolly mammoth is looking rather attractive atm.

MissBoPeep Fri 28-Dec-12 13:16:17

Sorry- not meant to be a downer smile but just wanted to be open about things that many women do not talk openly about. My mother's generation never really mentioned anything except hot flushes, but there was the occasional allusion <ahem> to " dry down below" comments usually after a smear test in 50s and 60s. No one actually admits their flaps have shrunk or anything grin that's actually honest!

MissBoPeep Fri 28-Dec-12 13:17:21

Inexit can I PM you as I want to share a link and not make it public?

InExitCelsisDeo Fri 28-Dec-12 20:53:17

Of course you can PM me! I don't get many.

My friend went to the docs with an itchy vag and was told that she was suffering from a paper thin vulva!

I am avoiding going for a smear as

a) I have put on so much weight this year that I cannot imagine how they would get in


b) tis all very dry down there and I just don't fancy it.

I actually caught myself with a nail the other day whilst wiping and made myself bleed.

Enough of this.

Megsdaughter Fri 28-Dec-12 20:56:11

I went three months without a period, then had a
couple, then a few months, then about six months, then a year! Then bloody well came on again with the worlds worst period angry

Had another one 3 weeks later [cries]

due yesterday and not a sausage.

orangeandlemons Fri 28-Dec-12 21:09:06

Please can someone explain why the loss of interest in cooking and lack of caring due to oestrogen?

I bloody care about the fact that I am currently suffering a 10 day period and no end in sight! And am red hot, whilst dhshivers. It's usually the other way round, I was called the corpse in my young days, due to being cold all the time!

InExitCelsisDeo Fri 28-Dec-12 21:17:52

Apparently oestrogen is the hormone that makes us want to nurture, I suppose cooking is part of that nurturing.

I haven't made a single mince pie yet, and the festive season is done and dusted.

I find it quite scary that we are slaves to our hormones - but I suppose hormones explain some of the really dodgy chaps I have fancied in the past (that and the booze).

MaryChristmaZEverybody Fri 28-Dec-12 22:13:06

I was hoping it might be some type of anti-food thing, and that I might go off eating.

But obviously not.

I'm comfort eating atm, while trying not to lose my temper at every little thing.

I also need a smear. But can't face it.

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