I think I'm having a mid life crisis!

[Karmaone]

Not having affairs or buying motor bikes but just so dissatisfied with my life. I'm 49 and feel like 80. Very tired and achey lately and I have no energy. I'm having some blood tests done. I feel like I have no friends and the ones I do have don't bother with me. Dp and I don't go anywhere or do anything. He's happy to potter at home but I want to try different things. I just keep crying. All I do is work and I feel like I'm half dead already. Does anyone else feel like this? Thanks.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

I think some of this is connected to be on the verge on a birthday ending in 0. Made me re-consider a lot, when I turned 40 and 50. I think it can be a good thing, to think about what you want to do next. Any chance of cutting your hours down, or just unrealistic?

[Spockster]

Sorry to say the m-word.. Could this be partly menopause-related perhaps? X

[Karmaone]

Thanks Sponge and Spock. Yes, I think it may be a birthday ending in 0! Also possible start of menopause. Joy. I hate feeling like this. I don't want to waste my life now and feel an urgency to fulfil some dreams, despite not having enough money to do it. I work full time in a stressful but rewarding job and some days I'm so exhausted. Can't afford to cut hours unfortunately. Dp and I have just had a big argument as I wanted to talk to him about what stuff we could do together and he couldn't think of anything so I had a strop and went to bed crying. Very mature of me wasn't it! I feel so invisible and like I'm not important to anyone. It's a horrible feeling.

[pinkfrocks]

Maybe you need to think of this as a relationship issue and not a health one?

I'd always argue that it might be possible to cut hours or do different work if work-life balance is really important- it's amazing how you can cut back a little on non-essentials if you have to.

Why don't you do some of the things you want to on your own? Join some groups, strike out and push yourself out of your comfort zone a bit?

Instead of looking ahead thinking about your age- it's just a number, honestly!- think about what you want to achieve in the next 40 years. If this means you and your DP are incompatible then maybe that is something to work out - whether you want to be with him or not.

I think you ought to get the 'zero' birthday out of your head! 50 is nothing these days. But if it's meno related then HRT might help.

[Karmaone]

Thanks Pinkfrocks. Yes it is just a number and it all sounds a bit crap but very real to me! I don't think it's a relationship issue although we do need to talk about doing more stuff together. I'm still feeling rubbish but trying to sort some things out.

[DrElizabethPlimpton]

I know how you feel OP.

I'm 49 and feeling like it is v difficult sometimes to cope with things. My parents health being the main worry at the moment. That said, my DH is wonderful and we have a good social life at weekends. The week days are long and lonely sometimes though. I find walking the dog in the woods everyday helps.

Hope you feel better soon.

[pinkfrocks]

Dr If you are lonely during the week, could you work? If you are at home all day that isn't doing your mental state much good if you feel lonely.
Even voluntary work can be a great way to meet people.

[Spockster]

Do see your gp and consider short/ medium term HRT if could make all the difference.