MUMS***** If you never breastfed.....what may of encouraged you do so???

(156 Posts)
happylaws Sun 08-Dec-13 13:54:19

Hi, I'm a mum to a 16month old and never breastfed myself due to massive complications during my c-sec. I think about this all the time now I am training to be a health visitor and know how beneficial it is.

But the question I would like to ask to you all is what could health professionals do to make you reconsider and breastfeed? More support? More education? Frequent visits?

Thanks in advance



I didn't want to do it so I didn't

I don't get why it's such a big deal
I am an adult and if I don't want to do something then I won't do it
It has fuck all to do with anyone else how I fed my babies

sonlypuppyfat Sun 08-Dec-13 14:00:35

I breast fed all three of mine for years my youngest for three years I think its wonderful I have never made up a bottle or had to buy formula I must have saved a fortune. Oh and mine never had to cry for a feed while I fannied about with bottles.

MissMiniTheMinx Sun 08-Dec-13 14:00:59

Nothing, not even huge financial inducements. Never regretted my choice and have two bright, happy and healthy DCs that disprove the idea that bottle fed babies are fat, dim and sick.

dingledongle Sun 08-Dec-13 14:08:14

If I had had someone to show me how to do it. Not read a book a or talk about how to do it! If a midwife/HV had at down with me and my first child and helped her latch on etc.

I was told how to, suggested books but no one was there when DC was hungry and I could not get her to feed.

Consequently I did not breast feed my second DC as I did not know what to do!

I hope you get useful replies to your thread as it seems that more often than not people get in to the politics of breast/bottle feeding.........

IncreasinglyLazy Sun 08-Dec-13 14:08:14

Pisses I did breastfeed, but I totally agree with you!

ImAnElfJeSuisUneElf Sun 08-Dec-13 14:17:18

Nothing would have encouraged me because I absolutely didn't want to do it.

My aunt is an award winning breastfeeding counsellor for a breastfeeding charity, if anyone was going to encourage me it would be her. But she didn't - because she accepted and still accepts that it's not for everyone.

sonlypuppyfat Sun 08-Dec-13 14:17:32

dingle you are so right no one ever really see's anyone breastfeed so when it comes to feeding there own children they don't know how to do it.

DeepThought Sun 08-Dec-13 14:20:20

happylaws, it's great that you are training to be a HV and all that entails smile

Can I ask you to bear in mind that some members of Mumsnet are accessing using devices such as readers for visual impairment, and titles such as yours with * * * and . . . make it difficult for the devices to read

Thanks ever so much, and best of luck with your new career

WaitingForPeterWimsey Sun 08-Dec-13 14:20:33

Stats show most mums do want to bf - when they are interviewed something like 75% (iirc) of those interviewed who stopped before 3 months said that they wished they hadn't.

happylaws Sun 08-Dec-13 14:21:08

These are exactly the honest type of answers I need. Thank you ladies!!

I don't want to get into the politics of it all but I want to know how YOU think things could be improved. No ones opinion is as valuable as real women......and I think thats where we are going wrong as a health service half the time.

jimijack Sun 08-Dec-13 14:23:32

From early on in the pregnancy i decided I was going to and I did.
I read around the subject and sought help.

The bf "helpers" in hospital were utterly useless if I'm honest.

ImAnElfJeSuisUneElf Sun 08-Dec-13 14:25:17

Happy, in my most recent pregnancy, one of the things that did annoy me, was being asked by HCP, repeatedly, if I was going to breastfeed. Then getting the 'oh, I'm verrrrrrrrry disappointed in you' head shake and attitude, then the lecture about why I should, and how I was DEPRIVING my child.

As pisses says - I'm an adult, I've made that decision - respect it.

iliketea Sun 08-Dec-13 14:26:01

Hmmm - to be honest, it would have started if I hadn't been induced for nearly a week. Zero sleep for 6 nights and traumatic birth mean i could hardly bear holding my dd never mind breast feeding. And then the after-care in hospital was in no way breast-feeding friendly and only added to the trauma.

It may have been improved by a) better delivery unit care and b) a specialist midwife with expertise in managing the immediate effect of traumatic birth who could have spent time with me trying to process the info instead of the ward staff attitude of "get over it, you have a healthy baby" .

Also, I was scared we'd be there even longer if she hadn't fed- better care at home that didn't involve me having to get to a breast feeding group a mile away post c-section unable to drive may have helped.

If I had another, I would probably ff from the onset, like I did with dd.

tethersend Sun 08-Dec-13 14:26:40

I think not being treated like ill-informed children and having choices respected would help, actually.

Some people have all the facts and lots of support and choose not to breastfeed. I was one of them.

ImAnElfJeSuisUneElf Sun 08-Dec-13 14:27:17

Tethers put it better than me. smile

rabbitlady Sun 08-Dec-13 14:28:56

needs a massive change in societal attitudes to breasts.

encourage new mums to do what they think right for the baby, not anyone else.

purrtrillpadpadpad Sun 08-Dec-13 14:29:21

For me, it would have to be shopping vouchers. Totally.

BabyMummy29 Sun 08-Dec-13 14:31:31

Nothing - I find the whole idea disgusting. Bottle fed both of mine for convenience.

As for all this claptrap about breastfed babies being more intelligent - mine have 10 As in their highers between them, so it obviously didn't do them any harm.

Fairylea Sun 08-Dec-13 14:33:42

Nothing at all. Not unless I could have borrowed someone else's boobs so it wasn't me doing it.

Had no inclination to breastfeed either of mine and don't regret formula feeding at all. It suited me and meant dh could share night feeds.

sonlypuppyfat Sun 08-Dec-13 14:37:04

Disgusting shock how on earth do you think the human race survived what utter crap.

BabyMummy29 Sun 08-Dec-13 14:40:02

If I think it's disgusting then I'm entitled to my opinion whether you think it's right or not.

I can think of nothing worse than leaky boobs, breast pads and all that shit. That's what I mean by disgusting

Junebugjr Sun 08-Dec-13 14:40:13

For me, it woudl have been much better care while in labour.
Induced over a number of days, an just left to languish with no sleep and in pain, until baby was in distress when I had an emcs. DD1 screaming in pain whenever I touched her, coupled with not having any sleep for 2 nights during the induction, meant BF was impossible, I was too fucked to have the will to establish it. If HCPs bang on about wanting mothers to BF they should be first looking at the care in labour. If anyone had given any sort of lecture to me after te debacle which was my labour I would have felt like ripping their head off.
Dd2, much better care, established bf easily and carried on for over a year.
HCP's can not expect totally knackered and traumatised women to then have the necessary perseverance and will that establishing breastfeeding requires.

K8Middleton Sun 08-Dec-13 14:40:55

What tethers said. As a society women should have the resources to make an informed decision - whatever that decision may be.

I exclusively bf one and mixed fed another. I probably would have exbf that one too but for some really rubbish advice from a mw and lack of decent bfing support.

If we want to see bfing rates go up, we need really good, in person support for all women in the first two weeks post birth; excellent education and training for all HCPs who come into contact with women accessing maternity services both pre and post birth; putting breastfeeding support services in places where women are going to use them; more widely, early education, making it culturally normal are important.

But one thing that really pisses me off, is that it is seen as some how unacceptable for a woman to say "I didn't want to do it so I didn't" or "I tried it but I didn't really like it so I stopped". We are women and we have a right to decide what we do with our bodies.

Junebugjr Sun 08-Dec-13 14:41:53

Btw, if a woman wants to FF her baby, that decision should be accepted without question by HCP's and also other mothers.

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