Right! Where do we find nice single men?!?!

(192 Posts)
SnoopyLovesYou Sun 28-Jul-13 16:03:34

Ok everybody! Where do us single parents meet attractive, nice, single men?

The local gym/ swimming pool?

Online dating?

Clubs & pubs?

Sports clubs?

Evening classes?

I know I've previously said Im happy being single and I am but I'm also young and red blooded and in need of male attention atm!

If we put our heads together, we might be able to find one or two between us?

;-)

bluebeardsbabe Sun 28-Jul-13 17:34:31

After reading a few threads on here I did try plenty of fish but I fear I won't be on there for long. I actually hate online dating. I just thought I might feel better if a few men contacted me to say I looked nice smile FYI...I don't!

I know a few people who have met people at the gym and I have myself been a member of one (can't afford it at the mo) and I would say there is quite a lot of flirting to be done there.

What about through mutual friends? Or reuniting with people through social media, ie people who you went to school with etc. Just a thought.

I am so ready to date though, or at least have a man look at me and say 'well you seem nice'. I am hoping this is possible with a 9 month old baby in tow!!!

BusyHomemaker Sun 28-Jul-13 20:34:49

If you find any please point them my way! ;)

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 28-Jul-13 21:21:21

Really??

I didn't know the gym was a pick up joint!!!!!!

Do people actually meet there????? Wow!!!! Like swapping numbers and all?

As for mutual friends, yes that might happen by itself but I feel I need to do some pro-active things too.

bluebeardsbabe Sun 28-Jul-13 21:23:40

I have a friend who met her husband at a gym...ok so they are now in the middle of an acrimonious divorce but still!!!

I also have a friend who now has 3 kids with a man she met at the gym, and so far they are still together smile

Just look for needle tracks in arms to sieve out the ones who are on steroids and you will be fine.

Might have to join up again, sigh.

ImNotBloody14 Sun 28-Jul-13 21:27:26

Definitely NOT plenty of fish! <shudder at the memory>

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 28-Jul-13 21:32:01

Aha! The gym is where they're all hiding. I HATE the gym! What about swimming pool/sauna?

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 28-Jul-13 21:35:53

I thought I should specify that I am not interested in one night stands, online sex meet ups or any other weird sleazy stuff. I want to meet someone who's like a human. Someone I can have a connection with. (I'm sure we all actually want this just thought I'd point out that I'm not interested in just sex.)

ImNotBloody14 Sun 28-Jul-13 21:39:41

Someone that's like a human? grin

Honestly i would prefer someone that's like a dog, loyal, cuddly, quiet, lends a listening ear and keeps the bed warm grin of course that would all be great if it came im human form.

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 28-Jul-13 21:40:04

Anybody know anywhere else to meet people? What about when with kids? Park, beach? On holiday? I really sound desperate! I'm not. Just still young and in need of a bit more fun in my life!

MoreThanWords Sun 28-Jul-13 21:41:29

I met a not so fucking single after all dad at the swimming pool - our kids were both having lessons.

Have met alcoholics, married/attached men, depressives, drunk drivers, a guy who put my hand on his erection an hour into the date walking round the park, and a guy who was on the sex offenders register, on Plenty of Fish.

Have swapped numbers with a guy from a petrol station - our eyes met across the unleaded...... - nope, depressive alcoholic.

Daughter's friend's dad, divorced, utterly reliable, dependable, faithful, perfect on paper, etc, etc, CRAP CRAP CRAP kisser.

I am currently debating whether to join Match - I've registered without a photo, and the barest of details, and they've sent me a 30% off code, but I'm not sure I can be bothered. I hate first dates! There's not really much hope, is there, lol.

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 28-Jul-13 21:43:27

14 you're so funny!!!! I'm at a point where I really DON'T want a dog. I really shouldn't be looking to men for affirmation. I know I shouldn't. Not a good idea. I'd like someone independent. You're right. It's a cat I need ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 28-Jul-13 21:48:23

Well more than words if he's a crap kisser we all know what that means!

Sigh. Yes POF really is full of total weirdos isn't it? Surely there must be some nice honest people on it no?

Yeah I've considered Match too but then are we sure that they're not just as weird and desperate too? I don't think I can bear to pay for it!

ImNotBloody14 Sun 28-Jul-13 21:49:51

No cats leave you- bastards! hmm grin

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 28-Jul-13 21:57:52

Are we talking about cats here or independent male humans? ;-)

ImNotBloody14 Sun 28-Jul-13 22:04:45

sad

They all leave me

grin

MoreThanWords Sun 28-Jul-13 22:05:44

I've been talking through my appalling dating history with my counsellor; he has pointed out I've had no decent male role models in my life, so that's why I'm struggling to 'be' in a decent relationship. I thought he would be telling me to stay single until I love myself etc, but actually he's quite excited about me going out dating as the new "counselled" me! I might leave it a bit longer yet confused

No-one at work worth shaving my legs for either except the under 30 year old and I am old enough to be his bloody mother

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 28-Jul-13 22:19:35

That is fascinating! I have had no decent male role models either! Probably that's what's wrong with me too! What has he done with you to make you ready Id love to know! Is your counsellor kind of like a new role model or something?

buthow Mon 29-Jul-13 08:16:52

MoreThanWords me too got some one forcing ma head to go dwn to his horny penis in like an hour of meeting...gees was disgusted he listened to all soapy stories I told him abt ma life in the 1st minutes of meeting..ohw we seemed to hv a lot in common decent n handsome guy n I'm like "Lord thanku I thnk finally I'm there" only to later see my head forced dwn to e dick an hour later in the car n I'm like "waaaaaat" Geees...

Anyway it was too good to be true men dnt easily fall for 16 weeks preg women do they? So I also would like to know were the cool dudes who want something real are found so tht wen I pop I go looking...too

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 09:34:38

Oh dear!

Yes I think my POF profile is going in the bin.

Match profile I will consider later but in the meantime, I need to get out into the real world and see if I can meet somebody that way!

:-)

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 09:39:11

To be honest, I think I'm just lonely because I don't go out much and haven't fully developed a solid friendship group. I do really need to forget about looking for men and concentrate on me!

:-D

TwoStepsBeyond Mon 29-Jul-13 10:44:53

Snoopy, I have met a lovely man on POF and I know others have too. People say you get better people on the paid sites (more serious and more solvent wink ) but actually a lot of them will also put a profile on the free sites too,. why not? I was just looking for a few dates and a bit of flirting, not expecting to meet the love of my life, so didn't want to pay for the privilege.

I met 5 lovely guys, once I didn't fancy, but seemed very nice, who I met up with 3 times, just for coffee and chatting.

One I had a cheeky snog with but think I liked him more than he liked me, so gave up on that.

One I knew from elsewhere and saw him on OD site so we met up just as friends a few times, nice to be able to go for a drink/dinner with no expectations.

Next was was totally gorgeous, seemed really sweet too, had dinner and a coffee in the park, kiss on the cheek, but no groping or inappropriateness, seemed keen but he was just not that into me really busy with work, so second date was tricky to organise.

Last one was my soul mate. Been with him for nearly a year and love him to bits.

I had no idea how bad it could be until I read some of the horror stories on here - I got away lightly it seems! I know there is a lot of sieving to be done to get rid of the weirdos and married men, but actually I never found any nutters on there.

Obviously DP is not perfect, but he's pretty damn close and there's no way I would have met him without OD as we don't move in the same circles, despite living only a few miles apart.

MoreThanWords Mon 29-Jul-13 12:01:45

Snoopy I too am lacking in a friendship group; and hobbies; and free time .......

I have spent almost six months as an inadvertent OW shockshockshock so still recovering from the shock of that and getting over the broken promises and dreams of a life together etc. As, presumably is his DW! Another crap excuse for a man.

I am 'myself' til I get to the 2nd date and then I turn all compliant/ submissive etc. I liken it to Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride where she doesn't actually know how she likes her eggs because she has always just said the same as the guy she's dating.

I am hoping if I don't go out of my way to find someone, they'll just appear lol.

equinox Mon 29-Jul-13 12:21:07

Girlies if you join meet up dot com and peruse which areas of interest you have you can go out to those meets there are men out there as well as women and it isn't for pulling purposes. Provided of course you have the spare readies and childcare funds at hand in the event of an unhelpful ex not doing child sitting for you.

Whereas I am rather lazy socially I have found it quite an ideal way to get to know people of both genders on a friendly footing without feeling it is a knocking shop.

At least it is a few more people to add to your facebook list! Although having said that I am taking a break from facebook for now lol. It is too time consuming...

HTH.

bluebeardsbabe Mon 29-Jul-13 14:23:49

Well I flirted with a builder in a lunch queue today...that's more than I have done in a year. baby steps...

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 18:37:33

Well my two latest POFs that I've been e-chatting with are

-married but separated but don't want to get a divorce. I'm staying away.

-Has a lover in another city. Doesn't want a relationship. Just 'fun.'

I'm not going to meet either of them. Yawn!

Poster above: Please share with us how you manage to filter out all the unavailable/ inappropriate ones :-)

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 18:38:31

Hey Equinox. Are there eligible guys that go to meet-ups?

Can I join? I'm seeing someone but I know it's doomed hmm
I have v small dc and I work a really female profession - I never just meet single men hmm

TwoStepsBeyond Mon 29-Jul-13 20:10:35

Maybe I'm just not that attractive so they didn't bother me! I hid my profile so the men couldn't search for me, that ruled out anyone I hadn't chosen myself, it was then down to me to add them as a favourite based on whichever criteria I wanted (non-smoker, kids, distance, whether he could spell/construct a sentence, whether he had photos of himself at the gym (no) or with a car (no) or a wife(no) etc!)

I think in fairness it was just instinct and chatting briefly online, I got a sense of whether they were really interested in meeting up straight away, arranged dates quickly and obviously just struck lucky. I know it doesn't work for everyone but it makes me sad when people write it off altogether, because actually some of them are decent normal men who, like us, want to cut straight to meeting someone, not hanging around waiting for their dream woman to walk into their lives by coincidence.

shanelle5 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:23:10

OOH like this thread! I met my last partner on POF, he turned out to be an alcoholic with severe MH issues and was lovely to begin with but quite quickly started to be abusive. hmm
I have heard a lot of horror stories since about that site so staying well clear but the odd one or 2 nice tales like the lady above does filter through so who knows..
What about evening classes ladies? Was thinking of joining a salsa or similar class and also possibly a martial arts/boxersise etc. I thought that may be good? Also someone else mentioned having a 9 month old baby, I too have a baby - he is 8 months, I dont think anyone is really going to be interested yet as its probably a massive no no, so what age do you think is acceptable to start dating again? Over a year maybe?

Shanelle I have a baby under a year. - it doesn't seem to put them off :-)

I have browsed POF it's full of either men I know (exes included) or men I have seen hanging around dating sites for years now...

ilovepicnmix Mon 29-Jul-13 20:36:01

There's a programme in bbc1 now about online dating!

God dammit in stick upstairs feeding the baby!

ilovepicnmix Mon 29-Jul-13 20:44:46

It's looking at fake profilrs. So people are getting emails from fake people set up by the company to lure them into signing up. I did dating direct about 5 years ago and met loads of nice guys. I have a 1 yo now and the logistics of actually going on a date is too much hassle for me right now. I'd love a good snog though!

shanelle5 Mon 29-Jul-13 20:46:20

LOL hamwidge : )
I may join POF purely to be nosey - I wouldnt be surprised if my ex is back on there! Didnt realise you could hide your profile and look round without being spotted lol
Glad, if a little surprised to hear babies doesnt always put them off, and anyway it passed a bit of time of an evening..
I am looking at OK Cupid too as that is also free grin

Oic. Can't say I've had that problem but some sites do seen to sell your details to others so you end up with duplicate profiles all over the place.

ilovepicnmix Mon 29-Jul-13 20:51:10

Ok cupid is one of the sites looked at on this programme. I don't want to meet someone with a baby and I have one grin

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 20:54:42

Ooh this programme is getting CREEPY!!!!!

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 20:56:50

Think I'm ready to delete my POF profile now!

ilovepicnmix Mon 29-Jul-13 21:01:29

I've always though sites you pay for are better as the men would be more serious and less likely to be married etc. However, I couldn't justify spending the money these days.

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 21:08:36

Anyway, let's maybeforget about Internet dating for this thread?

Where do we meet men in real life where we can size them up?

What about bars & clubs? Maybe not all weirdos? I don't mean one night stands but like if someone were to ask you for your number? Is this a weird way of doing things? It probably is isn't it?

Anybody met anyone while on holidays with their kids? Or in the park/ on the beach?

Running clubs or night classes.

Ps previous poster in my experience dance classes like salsa are all women and the public ones are all women and male pervs! ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 21:10:46

As you can see, I am a pretty long time away from the 'dating scene' or 'having a proper social life' having been in a negative relationship for a lot of years so any advice on real life dos and don'ts will be gratefully received :-)

I didn't know that about the profile hiding either - that solves one massive problem for me I might sign up grin

shanelle5 Mon 29-Jul-13 21:16:57

mass exodus to POF to sign up and hide profile grin

Cindy34 Mon 29-Jul-13 21:17:46

How about some of the men on here? Or is that a bit too weird?

gym sauna, spa pool seems a good place to chat, hard to know who is single but it's a numbers game isn't it, ask them all and eventually some will be single.

I know personally some of the men on here too. Sigh

I also know lots of the guys in my gym - I live in a small place that's just how it is.

ilovepicnmix Mon 29-Jul-13 21:22:15

I think the stats are that most people meet their partners through work. I just can't imagine anyone chatting me up when im with my son. Apart from the fact that no one probably wants to chat me up I think people would assume I'm not single. I went to a family friendly music festival recently but I didn't see any single men/dads. I suspect bars or pubs are the way forward as long as you've not got your beer goggles on.

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 21:38:29

Haha Cindy I am loving your style!!!!!

Me in swimsuit: Hi. Just wondering if you're single???

shanelle5 Mon 29-Jul-13 21:47:37

LOL snoopy! This thread is funny and depressing all at once grin

MoreThanWords Mon 29-Jul-13 21:53:39

I swore I would only dated friends of friends (so they are sort of recommended!) and with a crb check! Have yet to find the combination of those two things plus single and physically/emotionally compatible.

I've looked at the meet up website - it looks quite good, but am struggling for childcare atm (exh v. poorly so isn't having the kids at all for the foreseeable future).

Does anyone remember a sort of dating programme a few years ago where they basically asked all the single person's friends to find her a boyfriend? My mates just look at me a bit hmm when I ask them these days.

And don't start me on the people who say "Oh, you're better off single anyway" "What do you want a boyfriend for?" The only good things about being single are less washing/cooking and I can fart in my own bed in peace wink

sillymummy11 Mon 29-Jul-13 22:00:51

I know that it's been said leave internet dating alone, but I've had good experiences with the Guardian Soulmates site (if you want a lefty middle class type). Met a couple of charming, polite, interesting men for dinner/cinema/drinks and had a good time and nothing more than a peck on the cheek and a hug. It was just nice to have someone interested in who I was as a human being tbh. Both blokes I met were parents themselves (you can have parent as an essential quality). I'm still on the site as my experiences so far have been positive. You don't have to pay to have a profile but you do have to pay to read/send messages if someone sends you one....so you can register for free and then only subscribe if you see someone you like/someone sends you a message.

Overtheraenbow Mon 29-Jul-13 22:29:45

Move along that sofa ladies , room for one more?
I have a profile on pof and was seeing a nice chap for a few weeks, this week he said he just wanted to be friends... Hmmm do you go OD to find friends?? I think not! Oh well his loss!
But I agree its tough , I mean I don't need a man to validate me but it would be nice to have someone to chat to at the end of the day snog the face off and I am not at all desperate I am smile
Meet ups looks dreary and I heard it was full of women ( perhaps cos people keep recommending it on here!)
Not sure the gym is ready for a hot and sweaty Raenbow !! Friends of friends seems to be the way forward ( the work thing for me is not likely as also mainly female workforce)
Someone said cycling clubs , all that Lycra and sweat... Phew .... Now anyone got a bike I can borrow?? grin

Overtheraenbow Mon 29-Jul-13 22:40:32

Just looked at Meetups again : groups for ;
Over 50's , non mothers, widows, German speakers and web developers!!
Hmm as I am none of the above could be tricky!!

Just looked at guardian soul mates. My married neighbour is in there. I nearly puked.

sillymummy11 Mon 29-Jul-13 23:19:12

hamwidgeandcheps brilliant!!! Hope I haven't been out with him hmm

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 23:52:44

Meet ups I have looked at but it seems to be yes a bit dreary and yes all women and old desperate pervs ;-)

Might check one out though (after I've scrolled down the list to see who's going hee hee!)

Guardian soulmates I may give that a go as I have a thing for the older left wing professor thing. All slippers and divorcees and the like. Me first! No me! I'm having him! Etc etc ;-) (I'm actually only half joking. Love the older men!!!)

SnoopyLovesYou Mon 29-Jul-13 23:56:03

There is a bar near me which is very well known and a lot of couples I know met in there. I usually tend to do quite well this way as a/ I can look pretty damn good (if I spend around 4 hours getting ready) and b/ Noone knows I'm a (shock! horror!) single mother ;-) Don't want a sleazy drunk guy though! :-D

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 30-Jul-13 00:11:00

PS I have also 'hidden' my POF profile, which us great as I had wanted to delete it so that will do for now!

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 30-Jul-13 00:11:37

... which IS great

(was what that was supposed to read)

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 30-Jul-13 00:24:36

Oh! My local MeetUp is rocking a little bit more since I last looked at it! Will deffo try it out.

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 30-Jul-13 00:36:07

Ps MoreThanWords- I really see where you're coming from about the friends setting you up with someone. I wish a had a little Cilla Black in my 'circle' (handful) of friends! I do have a couple of friends who should know some eligible guys but yeah... It's more something that can happen by itself. Can't be forced. Whatever will be will be! The key for me is to get some childminders/babysitters and get out there!

Singledad5871 Tue 30-Jul-13 00:44:33

I met my girlfriend and wife to be on Match.com - I was very sceptical but I was proven wrong - it does work!

equinox Tue 30-Jul-13 05:48:02

Yes do try the meet up option and the other possibility is you could always set up a group of your own on there Snoopy it costs £10 a month or so however....!

I think it will depend on the part of the UK you are in as to whether it is very active or not.

The other option is midsummerseve.com they do meet ups too for single people without it being a knocking shop.

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 30-Jul-13 10:46:41

Oh hi single dad! So you're a man, right? Please fill us in on the dos and don'ts of mmeeting people in a bar.

-Can I initiate conversation?

-Can I offer my number?

Or are these two tthings, even if done in a cool, relaxed way, still a big no no in our erm 21st century UK?

That's encouraging singledad grin

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 30-Jul-13 11:39:01

Yes that is encouraging. Starting to think I should meet up with this guy from POF. Ok so he's officially still married but separated 6 years. Kind of curious to see what he's like...

shanelle5 Tue 30-Jul-13 12:46:42

Where's everybody based? Maybe we should organise an en masse eveing out to go pulling grin
I am Berkshire, near Windsor/Maidenhead, anyone nearby? x

bluebeardsbabe Tue 30-Jul-13 13:04:33

I am in Hampshire and my mum can babysit so I am up for anything!!! (Really am at the point where I am up for almost anything, sigh).

Update on my POF profile. I have specifically put in my profile that I do not like tattoos or piercings. So someone who has an interest in body art has just contacted me. Do people not read profiles anymore? I guess it was my stunningness that caught their eye and the rest didn't matter smile

I feel like giving up on online dating before it has begun. So depressing.

Anyway, dd's just done a massive poo so gotta go and sort that out. And that really sums my life up at the moment....

bluebeardsbabe Tue 30-Jul-13 13:06:02

Snoopy how old are you if you don't mind me asking? I am forty and seem to be attracting the 50 plusses sad (sorry don't mean to be ageist). If we are around the same age maybe we are competing for the same mensmile

Ok really got to go, that nappy won't change itself....

bluebeardsbabe Tue 30-Jul-13 13:12:47

Sorry, before I changed the nappy I had to log onto facebook to be faced with an update by someone whose husband just surprised her with an overseas trip and accompanying photos.

Lord, I'm depressed.

And we may be dealing with not just a pooy nappy now......

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Tue 30-Jul-13 13:16:46

Apparently all the single men are in pubs/clubs at around 4/5pm on a Friday (after work) so that's how to find them, you go alone to the pub and sit and wait....

I detest pubs/clubs as much as dating sites so will be eternally single

Cambam2010 Tue 30-Jul-13 15:36:36

Set up a local singles group on facebook. You can chat away to your hearts content before deciding whether to meet up - and all for free.

I refuse to use fb though that is a good idea.
I saw an old flame in sainsburys just now and hid! What was I thinking!? And I met him online

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 30-Jul-13 20:57:34

Ok I have to admit that I haven't got the foggiest clue how to use Facebook as a dating or chatting with strangers option. Please someone enlighten me!

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 30-Jul-13 20:59:33

There is no way I'm sitting in a pub by myself! Good hint though- Friday night I can manage but not that early.

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 30-Jul-13 22:38:36

Bluebeard re: Facebook. I was just saying to a friend today how nauseating it can be. So he's booking her an amazing holiday. I'm always sceptical about these Facebook brags. I mean, a lot of the time I reckon things aren't as happy as they seem (at least that's what I tell myself to preserve my own sanity and make myself feel better!) :-)

Singledad5871 Tue 30-Jul-13 22:52:20

Hi Snoopylovesyou - Match worked for me, after only 2 and a 1/2 dates (dont ask lol!) - but in a bar/club etc it IS ok to start a conversation - in fact every guy wants that - no guy likes rejection so if a girl/woman speaks to us we're delighted! My tips would be - have fun, try the paid sites, go on dates but ALWAYS pick somewhere fun so that even if you don't get along you can still have a laugh. I chose Jongleurs for my first date with my DP and now 18 months down the line - we're trying to work out how we can live together with 4 kids!
Tips: do a makeover, clothes etc and be a 'new you' it's amazing how it can make you feel
If you like somebody - let them know, smile, chat etc - everybody likes that
Have lots of fun and laugh
If you don't meet somebody straight away - dont worry just have fun first

I have quit Facebook partly for that reason. I can't bear the show boating its rubbish hmm

makemineapinot Tue 30-Jul-13 23:03:30

Omg! Have just reactivated pof! Had loads of messages on day 1 but catting t 2 who seem decent and genuine - have goofed and FB them. Sent one a photo and he's still chatting, but I'm a stone heavier tan I was I that photo. What ave I landed myself into- swore never to do pof again but can't afford Match etc!!! Aaargh!

Overtheraenbow Wed 31-Jul-13 09:26:48

Pot seems really busy this week. I went back on last night ( had been not v. Active as had been seeing a guy I met on there till he told me he didn't think we had ' chemistry' hmmm)

maybe the bad Panorama press has prompted people to join. Even gad a 31 year old ask me out ( I told him I have clothes older than him!!) but chatted to a nice sounding local guy. But no photos (I always make that a rule: he did offer to send me one by text but don't want a random pic of some blokes knob so declined!!) he said he only just joined and was on his phone, so I can wait!! But had about 5 messages in total .

Cambam2010 Wed 31-Jul-13 12:46:12

I set up a group on FB. Called it 'mytownname Singles', advertised it on a local FB gossip board. In a week we have got 36 members. There's been loads of chatting and flirting and I might have, almost got, a date! (it's been 9 years since I dated so now I'm panicking)

SnoopyLovesYou Wed 31-Jul-13 14:54:10

Have decided not to meet MrMarriedButSeparated.

Going out this Friday and have now hidden my POF profile. Think I'll join my local gym along with the swimming pool! I'm thinking that having an amazing body can only be a good step towards finding someone nice! :-D

SnoopyLovesYou Wed 31-Jul-13 14:58:17

Go on someone tell me how the Facebook chatting to strangers works :-)

TwoStepsBeyond Wed 31-Jul-13 15:06:05

Raenbow I told him I have clothes older than him grin

TwoStepsBeyond Wed 31-Jul-13 15:09:36

Cambam that sounds great! One of the guys I met on POF & I considered setting up our own dating site at one point, but I guess with all the local pages on FB there are plenty of free and easy ways to meet people. Its just about having the confidence to move things along.

FWIW, married but separated isn't necessarily a bad thing, getting a divorce is such an arse-ache and is quite costly, I am dragging my heels over it for no other reason than I can't actually be bothered and haven't got spare money for solicitors etc. Ex is paying me the child support, DP doesn't seem to mind that I am still Mrs Ex. so no rush to get it sorted.

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Wed 31-Jul-13 15:48:38

I'm married too, been seperated almost 3 years but have no clue where my xh lives and his lawyer will not answer my solicitor, so no divorce angry

I cannot do a facebook page in case my xh finds it me

I might try the gym after the holidays

Cambam2010 Wed 31-Jul-13 16:35:00

Snoopy - on the FB group I've done, all the people are local to each other and people seem to just start random threads asking questions and then the answers start flying through. Everyone is in the same boat - single and looking, and people seem to feel comfortable talking about what they are looking for in a relationship etc knowing that the other people are in similar situations. Every few days I re-advertise the group, usually in the early hours of the morning when all us singletons are in and feeling a bit lonely so turn to the internet for company, and always get a few new members signing up. We are even talking about arranging a meet up soon. Another singles group near me on FB has 200+ members and do very regular meet ups. This year they are going on a group holiday to Butlins!

ShinyBlackShoes Wed 31-Jul-13 20:20:53

I am just going to try bromide in my tea as I have given up. Been single for over 13 years and no proper date for getting on for 7 and that in lives about 3 runs on Internet dating sites; I am the worlds most undatable woman!

theMovedStone Wed 31-Jul-13 20:48:10

Perhaps they dont exist ??
Not like Im looking for one
just enjoyed reading:-(

theMovedStone Wed 31-Jul-13 20:52:25

Shiny dont you dare to say that
You never know
What if tomorrow you will go out and met the One:-)
Good good good luck

Pantone363 Wed 31-Jul-13 21:06:38

The gym especially if it has a social side (juice bar/sauna/pool)

Clubs. Great for a one night stand if you're just trying to slake a physical need.

Book shops! Surprising successes here and it's really easy to start a convo about the books they are browsing or if they know where a certain book is.

Tesco. If successful eye flirting has happened bash his trolley or drop something to start a convo wink

Workmen at your house. Tree surgeons especially, need any tree work doing?!

Local baristas. Hunt the coffee shops out for one you like and hit it regularly.

Single dads at school. Easy conversation.

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:19:17

Yes ShinyBlackShoes we mumsnetters don't put bromide in our tea. We are all just too awesome. Doing a hugely difficult job a lot of the time but we just need to remember that we're amazing :-)

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:22:34

Well TwoSteps I could forgive him being MarriedButSeparated but I can't forgive him his dirty language and I think he's probably a male chauvinist so I'm giving him the boot.

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:24:07

Thanks Cambam I must snoop around locally and see what Facebook has to offer!

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:29:18

Ooh themovedstone this conversation has taken an interesting turn by jeepers! ;-) So... Do nice single men actually exist or not? Anybody know any of this species? Maybe they're all too busy sowing their wild oats to be nice? Nice? Is that just what they pretend to be to get into our knickers? Ah there must be some of them that are genuinely nice surely? :-)

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:31:47

Pantone very interesting. Well firstly a juice bar sounds very nice! Is that in London Town? They don't have those in this backwater!

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:33:56

And then Pantone please do tell us more about the surprising successes in bookshops. You have me at the edge of my seat! Where are all these risqué guys who ask a girl for her number in a bookshop?! Sounds nice!

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:37:22

.... As for one night stands... yeah maybe it is turning into more of a physical need dammit but honestly how the heck are we single parents supposed to have one night stands? Wouldn't go back to his place because let's face it that's not really safe is it?! Then a bit embarrassing re: babysitter to just bring someone home! Also not the safest and anyway are one night stands not just a byword for bad sex?

Pantone363 Thu 01-Aug-13 00:38:43

No not London Town! We have like a bar where people but their protein shakes/juice/coffee after a workout. If you're not a gym member yet and you're looking for a new one ask about the social side!

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:40:12

Bashing someone's trolley at Tesco- hahahaha!

Single dads at the school- now this is a really good one actually and I have my beady eye on one actually! He is gorgeous... Sigh!

Pantone363 Thu 01-Aug-13 00:42:05

Ooo also if you have DC of the right age farm them out to martial arts/sports clubs. Lots of weekend dads sitting around for an hr or so and fit instructors.

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:44:06

Haha Pantone I totally got you wrong re: juice bar! I had visions of luxury gyms there. I see what you mean! I hope I can join my local gym on a trial basis (def the best one) because Im really quite anti-gym! Will see... No wonder my ex spent so much time at the gym with all this flirting going on! ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:45:18

Pantone you might be onto a winner with the sports clubs for my kids. I see an athletic future ahead of them. ;-)

fackinell Thu 01-Aug-13 00:46:16

Through a mate, though he's pissed me off tonight so have mine. PM me me your address and I'll mail him to you!! angry

Pantone363 Thu 01-Aug-13 00:47:13

God our gym is a hotbed of flirting. Unfortunately I find myself between gyms at the moment owing to some..um complications thereof.

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:50:04

Workmen at my house- mmm... I don't think workmen are my type? Oh! You've just reminded me though about a guy I go to (let's say a hairdresser although he's not a hairdresser) or at least I used to go to him and haven't been in a while! I did think at the time that he showed a slight interest... And he was definitely dateable...

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:53:04

You know I do really like living without a man though! Having my own space... You can all tell I don't know what it is I want exactly... ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 00:55:31

You've reminded me Fackinell how actually annoying men can be when trying to form relationship-type-thingies.

The jury is still out here as to whether or not any nice single ones might be left! :-)

fackinell Thu 01-Aug-13 01:20:53

Oh there will be, Snoopy. (He's mostly nice, just a twat tonight.) I think you should have a boyfriend recycling party. Although I wouldn't recommend many of mine!!! More baggage than bloody Heathrow by their 40s. grin

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 11:05:46

Hmm more baggage than heathrow! Lol!

I do know some gorgeous older men. Yum. Ok I know one. He's divine. Otherwise though I think I should be looking for a very mature younger man. (I'm in early 30s) haha! I'm not sure if a mature man in his 20s exists!

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 01-Aug-13 11:08:29

Although this gorgeous older man (in his 50s!) makes me think I should be looking for someone older but you're right- most of the older ones are probably for the scrapyard!

MoreThanWords Thu 01-Aug-13 20:03:53

Hey Snoopy - I'm 46 - I'll have that gorgeous 50-something! smile

SnoopyLovesYou Fri 02-Aug-13 00:14:09

Haha no you won't!

(I probably won't either!)

Anyone want to share how they manage to have one night stands as a single parent?! Babysitting logistics, funny stories...?!

Would be good to hear some tales. None of my lone parent friends have much of a sex life!

Singledad5871 Fri 02-Aug-13 07:44:42

Sleepovers with relatives or stay downstairs when kids are upstairs - doesnt HAVE to be on a bed??
Ladies - there are PLENTY of single guys out there - I wouldn't bother with the gym, Starbucks etc is a better option - the school is a good option too but single dads (I have my kids full time) who are that involved are a rarity. I would say go out to bars that have people the age that your looking for

Lioninthesun Fri 02-Aug-13 10:14:06

Hello again Snoopy! We seem to be similar age and not sure what we are looking for. I am also filled with horror at the idea of going to a gym...but can manage swimming once or maybe twice a week with DD. I don't have a child minder and am too broke to go out on multiple dates just to check if the bloke is coherent in RL. The thought of clubbing and then having to get up at 5/6am for DD doesn't float my boat either. remembers recent nights home with friends and wine and that was quite bad enough!
I think I just want someone to play with on the weekends. To start with at least.

DD not at school age yet. I literally have opportunities to meet new people in one of the following areas:
Feeding ducks anywhere along local river
Shopping for food not shopping for anything else as I am not in the mood for a decent chat whilst struggling around an invariably small shop trying not to desposit badly thought out displays on their floors with a buggy and toddler who probably wants to get out and have me carry her
Parks
Swimming in the baby pool
Walking to any of the above

Its not looking likely tbh!
I know I want an older man, happy with slippers even, as long as he is toilet trained and preferably can cook and has somewhere for him to live (so he won't end up moving in with us ridiculously early like DD's father did, 'cos that worked REALLY well hmm).
Are you in Kent Snoopy? Am interested in your older man knowledge wink POF is depressing me. 28yo asked me out and I haven't even replied. I just don't want to spend £50 on a sitter to go out and meet a toyboy who won't want to get to serious because I have a kid. I can't take anyone younger than me seriously for what I am looking for, which may well be foolish I suppose.

SnoopyLovesYou Fri 02-Aug-13 11:27:42

Look none of you are having my supersexy older man! (Well he's mine in my dreams at least but not in the real world)

SnoopyLovesYou Fri 02-Aug-13 11:29:52

Hmm feeding the ducks and swimming in the baby pool... Stranger things have happened Lion!
;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Fri 02-Aug-13 11:32:42

Singledad I am still pondering the logistics of a one night stand... I think I'm too insecure to have one night stands. I think I want someone who really passionately loves me (I hear laughing in the background.) ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Fri 02-Aug-13 11:36:22

Ps Lion how the heck does it cost 50£ for a babysitter for a date? Oh you mean a date that goes very well and you end up back at his place? ;-)

Singledad5871 Fri 02-Aug-13 15:50:01

And believe it or not, Snoopy, there are guys out there who want that too! I had years of misery with my XW and my first vow was to have fun! My first 6 months it was all about me and the kids then female friends dragged me out on nights out etc and in no time I was my old self again - in fact better! Doesn't happen straight away coz I reckon anybody who is 30+ who says they don't have baggage or damage is either lying or there's something wrong somewhere, but you get through that! Go out with cousins, family, work colleagues whoever - but have fun, honestly it worked for me - ok I did online dating under duress but way I see it, it's an online bar and you get all sorts wherever you look - turns out was the best thing I ever did!

lostdad Fri 02-Aug-13 17:24:19

I met my other half on Plentyoffish. I worked on the principle that the more people I went out with the more likely I would find the right person.

I went on with dates with women I'd never want to see again, others who ended up as friends and one I married.

You'd have to ask her if I was a `nice single man' at the time although seeing as she proposed to me she's only got herself to blame. grin

Overtheraenbow Fri 02-Aug-13 20:47:31

I'm interested in your "Starbucks" theory dad do you think that's an option?? I really like coffee and I could work my way round Starbucks , costa, pret- a -manger , in town tomorrow. I may not sleep for a week but if I get lucky that may be an advantage !!! brew grin,

Lioninthesun Fri 02-Aug-13 20:48:01

Snoopy maybe I have been asking the wrong people for babysitter prices but I was told about £10ph? Much the same as a cleaner which I sadly also can't afford!

Singledad5871 Fri 02-Aug-13 23:17:26

Overtherainbow - absolutely! I often go to Starbucks on my own with a book and will often chat to complete strangers - lots of people do it, Borders the bookshop was great for it but alas it's no longer there! If you see somebody reading a book, and you are too - there's your opener smile
Way I see things - I love a good conversation and anything can happen from that wink - I would avoid pret though its usually the married 50 something's that go there lol

Singledad5871 Fri 02-Aug-13 23:26:13

Ps Snoopy - nothing wrong with a one night stand - sometimes that can lead to something more and if not, then it's a bit of fun smile

I remember the boyfriend recycling party on sex and the city. I would bring my best bloke mate who is v similar to Minty from eat tenders back along.

I can't see myself meeting anyone at the gym. I go all the time and I talk to old ladies about car insurance grin

I might try out Starbucks though that's quite genius grin

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 03-Aug-13 10:37:33

Haha Raenbow I was thinking the exact same thing re: cafes! Right Lostdad spill your theory!

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 03-Aug-13 10:38:31

Oh sorry I mixed your name up with another Dadsnet persona. I meant Singledad :-D

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 03-Aug-13 10:43:48

Oh sorry SingleDad you already did explain your theory (just recovering from my night out last night.) I don't know I think that it would be lovely for a man to start chatting to me in a cafe but I just don't see anybody doing that where I live... Oh I do know one cafe that could be good actually...

On my night out last night by the way I discovered that there are not too many guys I fancy although I did end up with a little kiss in a club so I must be heading in the right direction :-)

Singledad5871 Sat 03-Aug-13 10:51:24

Snoopy is there a bigger town/city near you? I'm only guessing that (like me) its quite a smallish place, but I head to the city - I found that the one close to home person I was with was the worst mistake in my life! Unfortunately - and lostdad made this point - it is a numbers game, you go on dates with a few people, but don't always judge on first date - I had a great first date once but it became evident other than physical, there was zero in common, whereas my DP and I had a very up and down first couple of dates before we totally opened up and clicked.

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 03-Aug-13 12:22:21

I usually find that I have to make the first step when out and about and interacting with guys. I must be intimidating or something :-)

Lioninthesun Sat 03-Aug-13 13:37:39

Funnily enough after posting about the few places/ways I can
actually meet anyone a guy started chatting to me on the way home from shopping this morning! I was pushing DD and a buggy full of shopping up our hill and he commented that it looked like hard work. I huffed 'Yup, who needs the gym, right?!' , he laughed and said 'Well precisely! You clearly don't need one especially after that!'. I smiled, said thanks and then ran out of things to say and breath and he walked off ahead of me up my road. He was stunning and I kicked myself a few times when I got home for not pouncing more. Not particularly thrilling compared to an actual night out, but it's made me wonder if I am just bad at starting conversations. The thought of being able to sit in a cafe reading would be lovely, but how do you do that with a toddler in tow?

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 03-Aug-13 17:30:34

Lion you have to get a childminder for a couple of hours to do your cafe reading.

Sounds good though re: your newfound ability to meet nice men doing the daily round. I too am finding that its kind of to do with the frame of mind. (There really are single men everywhere SingleDad its true!) And I too am REALLY rubbish at thinking of things to actually say, which is a conversation killer. Well... sometimes I get nervous and especially if I think the guy in question isn't interested. When I know he's interested, I can be quite relaxed and enjoy myself (and am beginning to differentiate between interested in ME and interested in getting the knickers off me. It's a fine line!) ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 03-Aug-13 17:34:15

By the way Lion, I think that £10 an hour is way too much for a babysitter per hour. I would half that for a good, reliable one but some people on here have said 3£ per hour!

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 03-Aug-13 17:35:41

It depends. If I were you I would place an ad or two on local sites like Gumtree, Netmums and ask around.

I need to report this. I have just been at the park with the dds. Huge dog bounded up to dd1 and dropped a ball at her feet. I started to panic because she's scared of dogs. The owner came running after it. He was fit fit fit grin I am hopelessly shy when I have the kids with me but I need to man up!

Overtheraenbow Sun 04-Aug-13 18:11:40

Dog walkers ( but I know all the local ones here) and don't own a dog so could be tricky, thigh am dog ' sitting' this week!!
Starbucks was a washout , full of happy families with 2.4 kids and foreign exchange students.
I have just messaged a guy on OKC and said I'm thinking of going to a gallery in his city ( bold girl) this week AGHHHHH !!!

Overtheraenbow Sun 04-Aug-13 18:19:03

ham maybe you should get a dog??

I'm desperate for a dog but job won't allow it. Anyway I walk my dc there anyway grin

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 04-Aug-13 20:02:29

I'll happily take a foreign exchange student Overtheraenbow ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 04-Aug-13 20:08:21

Oh and I'm DELETING my POF this very week. Internet dating is decidedly not for me (and I really have given it a very good try.)

I have joined gym & pool though and I have to say I am very optimistic. The sauna was seriously steamy and great for striking up a conversation! ;-)

Chat up line: Is it hot in here or is it just me?

(You can all borrow that one if you like) ;-)

Going for a gym induction so we'll see about that. Bit nervous as I hate the gym!

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 04-Aug-13 20:10:28

Yeah Ham it's all about grabbing the bull by the proverbial... em... horns and flirting. I think we could start a whole new flipping thread on flirting!!!! I am DREADFUL at flirting!!!! How does one flirt????

Overtheraenbow Sun 04-Aug-13 22:11:22

Haha ! Snoopy they were all about 15 though .... And though I'm avoiding older man on pof tonight as I would like a younger man I don't want one THAT young!!
Hmm I'm thinking of hitting it on the head too Snoopy but I am chatting to a nice chap but he's off on hols with his daughter then my kids are back and he's not too local we could get together in about .... November!! The joys of single parenting/ dating.

Would be good if I could meet someone local who we could just say are you free for an hour tomorrow/ today/ next weekend; all this fitting in with schedules is complicated !!

I think the gym is out of the question ( unless no exercise is involved, hot and sweaty not a good look!)

And I'm rusty on flirting anyone got any tips?

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 04-Aug-13 22:18:44

Hot and sweaty isn't a good look but I'm not planning to get very hot and sweaty. Just use the minimal cardio things to 'tone' and check out the talent while looking very 'gym-bunny' -like

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 04-Aug-13 22:21:22

Sorry that was supposed to read 'minimal NON-cardio'

Lioninthesun Tue 06-Aug-13 19:52:12

Just caught up with thread. Yes, flirting tips would be great! I have found myself actually looking down when a man looks at me. I don't think I realised I did it until today! I think that stems back to a jealous boyfriend who used to comment if he thought I had made eye contact years ago, but not helpful if you are trying to initiate flirt mode!
Maybe running over toes and stopping to profusely apologise? Could lead to us dating a lot of self made cripples though I suppose wink

Foxy800 Wed 07-Aug-13 23:06:49

Ive bitten the bullet and joined pof tonight.Wish me luck.

SnoopyLovesYou Wed 07-Aug-13 23:08:15

I have deleted mine Foxy!

Good luck- you'll need it on there!

confused

Foxy800 Wed 07-Aug-13 23:12:12

Oh I joined as a Mum I know is on it and she said it was really good. (shock)

Foxy800 Fri 09-Aug-13 22:39:42

Ok Ive deleted my account, don't think dating sites are for me but am so fed up of being single!!!Don't get to socialise much so how am I meant to meet a partner!!!

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 10-Aug-13 07:15:34

Oh Foxy I feel for you!

No dating sites I don't feel are the way forward for me either.

Well this is what this thread is for! :-)

So so far we've got:

-Joining a gym or sports club/ swimming pool & sauna.

-Going out to places- bars, clubs- that usually attract the right kind of guy.

-Spending time reading books in coffee shops.

Any of these float your boat?

I think these have been fantastic suggestions so far. My local swimming pool (haven't tried the gym yet!) appears to be a great potential meeting place (especially since there's a sauna.) On my night out last week, there was lots of opportunity to meet someone. As for the coffee shop idea, (or park in nice weather?) I may give that a shot today actually as I might have some rare free time! :-)

shanelle5 Sat 10-Aug-13 07:41:38

I think I may spend the weekend making up an imaginary job that needs doing... say redecorating acroom,and call up as many workmen as poss in the area to come round for quotes.
Then just sit and wait for the stream of hunky men in ripped jeans with rippling muscle to ring my bell (ahem)
BUT knowing my luck, a gaggle of 50/60 plus wrinkleys would turn up. peppered with the odd skinny, just out of teenage years, in need of a wash scroat! hmm
Ok back to the drawing board...

Foxy800 Sat 10-Aug-13 08:43:42

Don't have time for most of the suggestions as very hit and miss as to when dd's Dad will have her, doesn't have her regularly!!! and have work etc. He never has her overnight either so its difficult to go out and socialise, although am going out tonight).

Back to the drawing board for me too shanelle5.

shanelle5 Sat 10-Aug-13 11:39:42

Foxy it does seem to be a theme among is that we dont actually get to go out alone much and most of us usually have young DC in tow.
So difficult isnt it, I too wonder if I actually ever DID manage to meet anyone when/how the hell would I even manage a relationship confused Enjoy your night out love and post details after of your best flirting moves etc! Good luck and enjoy smile

makemineamalibuandpineapple Sat 10-Aug-13 14:52:23

I met my boyfriend at my running club. We knew each other for a year before getting together and have been together about three months now. I have tried online dating before, POF/Match to name a few. I went out with one guy for 8 months but the rest of them either came to nothing or were odd. I think that clubs are a good way to meet people although I know that as a LP it can be difficult to join one. Apart from that one other bf, this is my only relationship since my divorce in 2008 so I know how hard it is.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 10-Aug-13 15:08:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 10-Aug-13 15:54:23

SShanelle I HAVE a job that needs doing and I NEED quotes! You're a genius! ;-) (In my experience most workmen are utter dickheads but you never know!)

shanelle5 Sat 10-Aug-13 17:02:30

Oooh snoopy just book a load of different ones, the law of averages would hope one non dick head may arrive! Just dont answer the door like I have done before in trackie bottoms and a bit of crusty baby food on one shoulder! Ive been down the rubbish tip several times today, lots of men but all seemed to be doing "family" type jobs for her indoors. Plus bonding over the stench of household rubbish is probably not the best move. grin NEXT!!!!!....

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 10-Aug-13 17:32:35

Haha!

Rubbish tip def a no-goer I'm afraid you're right.

:-)

Foxy800 Sat 10-Aug-13 17:53:01

Thanks Shanelle, doubt there will be opportunity to flirt as going out with work colleagues all a lot younger than me!!!Lol. Will post if I get chance to flirt though!!!!LOL

Foxy800 Sat 10-Aug-13 17:56:14

Well Im now not going out so no chances to flirt!!!LOL. grandma has just had to cancel on me and there is no way I can get a babysitter before 730pm.So another night in front of the tv it is then!!!.

Foxy800 Sat 10-Aug-13 17:57:41

Well Im now not going out so no chances to flirt!!!LOL. grandma has just had to cancel on me and there is no way I can get a babysitter before 730pm.So another night in front of the tv it is then!!!.

antimatter Sat 10-Aug-13 18:41:38

they all must be in the gym smile

most men on POF/okcupid sites put in their profiles that they go to the gym regularly smile

unless we think that they are all married - then perhaps looking for a guy in my Leisure Center is the last places I should visit

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 10-Aug-13 19:16:32

Yeah the men on POF all put in their profiles that they go to the gym 5 times a week! They are also kind, caring, a great laugh, very successful, romantic and amazing in the kitchen. I never knew that my area was so full of Michelin-chef wannabes!! ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 10-Aug-13 19:21:05

That's where they all are! LOL! All the good ones are all bent over their baking guides puzzling over how to make a souflée that doesn't flop.

antimatter Sat 10-Aug-13 20:14:38

I sent v.short intro to 10 random guys within my search criteria on POF. only one bothered to reply thanks, but no thanks

It makes me wonder what others are there for LOL

shanelle5 Sat 10-Aug-13 20:40:16

Oh foxy fucks sake sad Id be gutted if that was me, but hey we can all hang out here this evening instead smile
Im that sad that Ive got a candle lit to go with my one glass of wine and laptop! Thats my Saturday night sad I really feel like getting blotto but stil BF 9 month old DS so 1 small glass max for me.
snoopy lol at your post, though im more interested in something else that doesnt flop, not the souffle wink
I had a look on OK cupid, didnt look as bad as pof but some really pushy guy started messaging me on chat then asked to skpe, and tried to add me on FB! It was all too quick, I deleted and blocked him coz I was scared blush

Foxy800 Sat 10-Aug-13 20:45:07

I deleted one off of pof as they wanted mobile number and wouldn't stop asking shanelle5. Is okcupid free or are there costs to it?

Foxy800 Sat 10-Aug-13 20:49:30

I don't drink so am sitting here enjoying pizza that I treated myself to as not going out.LOL.

shanelle5 Sat 10-Aug-13 20:50:33

Its free and tbh not half as bad as some. A better class of Knobber if you like grin
POF is just a meat market and I also me my ex there who turned out to be an arsehole angry

Foxy800 Sat 10-Aug-13 21:03:36

I might have a look at okcupid then but if I don't like that one will be going off dating sites completely.x

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 13-Aug-13 10:20:41

For lone parents, dating sites seem to make so much SENSE! However my experience is that, being a lone parent, we won't attract the types online that we would like to attract in real life. Also, having sometimes low self esteem already, I fear that online dating can be a minefield. I think I'll be single for a long time. At least now though I'm not wasting my free time talking to and meeting up with creeps, losers and just highly unsuitable (in every possible way) men. So that's my thing about online dating... :-)

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Tue 13-Aug-13 11:40:18

Ive been talking to a man who is quite a sensible age (for me) he was on a dating site but hated so came off, he seems nice, but don't they all at first.

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 13-Aug-13 21:42:16

Anyone can seem nice and normal online!

antimatter Wed 14-Aug-13 09:11:14

v. true SnoopyLovesYou smile

Foxy800 Thu 15-Aug-13 08:28:04

Ive given up with the dating sites!!!

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Thu 15-Aug-13 10:04:46

See when you are out and you see someone you may like, you strike up a convo or not but online dating you talk, the picture looks okay, then you meet and it's 'oh nooooo', too much effort, the nice guy asked me for a naked pic approx 4 hours after typing he 'seemed nice' hmm

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 15-Aug-13 10:20:21

Haha! The naked pic! Christ Jesus I'm so glad I'm not putting up with that crap anymore! So tiresome! What a bunch of sexist idiots! I can't believe I thought that I could find someone decent on there. Maybe some people can but for me it was like the above experience- meeting up with people a little excited only to see them and have my heart sink with hopeless disappointment and then having to endure a sometimes very awkward/unpleasant coffee. Yuck!

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Thu 15-Aug-13 12:36:00

That's it exactly Snoopy, I always thought it was photographs of people made people look bad and they would look better in RL, online dating proved me wrong, I'm going to start hanging around Costa Coffee at the weekends for hours if necessary

TwoStepsBeyond Thu 15-Aug-13 15:23:35

Good idea Wimpy, although you'll probably just catch all the disappointed online daters in Costa who have met for coffee only to find that their date looks nothing like their photo!

It's not just the blokes you know, all the guys I met had horror stories of their previous dates too (except one who was a dating virgin!) My DP actually didn't have great photos and turned out to be better looking than he appeared online - you could always try that approach? Choose someone whose photos don't do them any favours and be pleasantly surprised!

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 15-Aug-13 18:25:19

Oh yeah some of the women are no doubt queer specimens too but the guys are not so subject to the horrible sexism that goes on. 'Nuff said!

Yes it's a café for me too! To... ahem... read my book and the gym/pool to get fit of course. In my sexy purpose-bought outfits ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Thu 15-Aug-13 19:37:00

Oh! Does this mean I'll have to train myself in gymspeak? Like the... erm... muscle groups that I am targeting and that kind of thing? ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 17-Aug-13 08:28:04

Still haven't got to the gym yet smile

Today, when my ex has the kids I will be swanning around some likely cafés, book in hand. More relaxing than shopping, no?

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 17-Aug-13 09:55:36

What does one even WEAR when one is perusing ones book nonchalantly in a café? Anyone? ;-)

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 17-Aug-13 10:49:43

Hmm let's see... First I'll try a cafe that's attached to a well known bookshop...

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 17-Aug-13 11:13:39

Ok well that cafe was just full of kids. And families!

Next stop one of my fave cafés. Going to kick back and enjoy my day off. There is 0% chance any men will come to this cafe. Any hints? Anyone do this with success? Does anyone actually know anyone who met their woman/man in a cafe? Lol

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Sat 17-Aug-13 14:23:43

Sorry never had luck in a Cafe, I did in a Weatherspoons though? grin

We are to have another heat wave next week apparently so maybe hang around the beach? If you have a beach?

fijamez Sat 17-Aug-13 16:56:22

Can I ask how anyone manages dating (once you hsve met someone!) when you are the sole parent (no ex to take ds for the odd day/ night).

Ds now 3 and thinking about trying to get back in the game but practicalities seem a bit daunting

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Sat 17-Aug-13 17:06:07

I have the same situation Fi I thankfully have my parents and stbxinlaws to take mine every few weeks.

Having a 3 yr old you could put her to bed and have a night in but in the dating world these days a dvd actually means less cosying up in front of dvd and more getting mauled in my dating world, one guy was okay....it is difficult, I was asked out tonight but have the dc, so its a no no, my dc are 9 and 13 so its not an option for me to have any men visiting me here.

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 17-Aug-13 19:57:26

Babysitters are the key for going on dates. Then once you know someone is ok, you can invite them to yours for dates I suppose. This is all in theory as I'm extremely fussy!!

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 17-Aug-13 20:47:24

As for my cafe experience today, in the cafe I was in (I only had coffee in one and then got distracted by the shops) there was a guy who purposefully came and sat in the seat beside me to eat his lunch. He caught me by surprise and tried to make eye contact with me but I had already written off the man-finding expedition and was enjoying my book and didnt fancy the effort of a conversation with a stranger. I'm not very good at this! Ah well it was my first attempt!

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 17-Aug-13 20:48:35

Tune in next time folks for the latest edition of 'My un interesting love life'

;-)

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