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Anyone else commute to work and have to drop off 2 dc's at nursery. I think its going to be a nightmare :-(

20 replies

Meglet · 23/08/2009 11:56

I'm back at work in October and will be dropping 1yo dd and almost 3yo ds at nursery around 8:30 before a 30 min drive to work 3 days a week.

I know it could be worse (and I'm lucky to have a job in this climate), but I'm dreading it . My family will help out a lot but dad has just got prostate + bone cancer so he and my step mum will be busy will appointments and my mum has a 20 min drive to get here. So, somehow, I've got to be beyond organised. My sister (who is lovely but doesn't have kids) think's I'm being dramatic thinking it's going to be hard . I can't even do too much organising at the moment as I've just had a hysterectomy, I really want to be blitzing the house and I can't. I'll probably get a cleaner for a couple of hours a week so the house doesn't end up like a tip.

Does anyone else do this and find it's not so bad once you get used to it. Sorry about the moan, I'm dreading this Autumn. I don't think I'm ever going to get much time to enjoy my dc's for a while.

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Paolosgirl · 23/08/2009 12:02

It will be fine, once you get into a routine. I used to drop off my 6 month and 2 year old at 7.45, followed by a 45 minute commute. DH had already left for work on the train, so no help there, and no help from family - we don't have any within a 100 mile radius! No cleaner either. You sound as if you'll manage fine with help from your family and your cleaner once you get organised and plan out your day. Good luck

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Meglet · 23/08/2009 12:19

thank you . It seems pretty overwhelming from where I am now.

What time did you get up to get you all out the house by 7:45? I'm currently on a 2 hour minimum time to leave the house .

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Sidge · 23/08/2009 12:20

You'll soon get into the swing of it.

I have to drop off DD3 at nursery at 0820, then up to school to drop off DD2 by 0840 then have a 20-40 minute drive to work (only 14 miles but the traffic can be hideous). I do this 5 days a week. DH is often away at sea so it's just me and we have no family nearby. Don't have a cleaner.

It is bloody hard work, I have to be really organised and most stuff is prepared the night before eg lunchboxes, bags, reading bags etc. I get up at 0615 so that we can all be out the house 2 hours later. (DD1 also has to get ready but gets a lift to school and leaves at 0710).

I have to be honest it is hard work but you'll find a way to work it out because you have to!

Good luck

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sincitylover · 23/08/2009 12:25

I used to drop 2 dcs at different places (and collect at night). 4 days per week.

Dropped ds1 at primary school at 8.45 then got tube to ds2 nursery.

it was a nightmare but I did get used to it. Had minimal help from now exh.

Sometimes the thought of things is worse than the actual doing them IYKWIM. And if you've just had major surgery then I am sure that might make things seem more overwhelming.

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chichichien · 23/08/2009 12:30

You are panicking, which is understandable. You have a whole month left to fully recover from your op and that is the most important thing right now.

You will get into a routine. The big plus points to your routine are:

  • you are able to use a car to drop them off
  • 8.30 is quite a late drop-off time.

    When will you leave the house? 8.15? If so, I'd get up at 7am which isn't bad at all.

    And don't even think about the housework just yet.
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chichichien · 23/08/2009 12:32

Oh, out the house by 7.45. I'd leave a good one hour and 15 minutes to get ready so 6.30am.

We've always got up at 6.30 and it's fine.

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Meglet · 23/08/2009 12:38


I think I'll start with 6am wake ups for me, at least I can have breakfast before the dc's have to get up. It'll be easier when dd can spoon feed herself, she faffs about with toast but doesnt eat much so she has weetabix too. DS can eat his own breakfast and will soon be able to get himself dressed which will help.
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MANATEEequineOHARA · 23/08/2009 12:54

You will be fine! When I first went back to work I was working 6 days a week, they were split about half/half between a CM and a nursery/playclub (it was school holidays). I had no car and had to get up to 6 buses a day! But once it becomes your routine it is ok, the anticipation of how you will cope is definitely far worse!

Btw, if it is a day nursery they may provide breakfast?

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moondog · 23/08/2009 12:58

I do this with a dh abroad for weeks at a time and working f/t. As long as yuo are organised it is fine.

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Meglet · 23/08/2009 13:01

manatee yes, its a lovely day nursery. But I think it's going to easier for them to have breakfast here. I don't like the idea of getting them out the door in the winter mornings without a decent breakfast in them [neurotic, feeder mummy emoticon].

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MANATEEequineOHARA · 23/08/2009 13:04

I think that too Meglet, it does feel odd leaving the house without having fed the children, but at least the option is there if you are in a hurry. Waking late/disorganised days were the ones when I was grateful for nursery breakfasts!

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Ceebee74 · 23/08/2009 13:09

I am in exactly the same position - I return to work in 3 weeks time and will have to get a 10-month old and a 3 year old out the house and to nursery by 7.45 and then I have a 20-30 minute commute to work. Dh is away 2 or 3 nights a week and we have no family nearby so will be doing the bulk of it by myself.

My plan is to get myself up at 6am, have a shower and dry my hair/do my make-up. Then get the boys up, give DS2 his bottle, get them both dressed and then me dressed - and then out the house. All bags will be packed the night before, my lunch will be in the fridge ready to get out, all clothes out the evening before (my clothes ironed etc).

I think you are complicating matters slightly by wanting to give them breakfast tbh - I have never given DS1 breakfast before nursery although now he does ask for something to eat on the way (banana, breadstick, etc) which is fine. Can you just give them both something like that that they can eat themselves (particularly your youngest) so they can eat it in the car/whilst you are getting ready?

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Meglet · 23/08/2009 13:14

I will keep the breakfast at nursery as an emergency stand-by I think, I'm sure it will come in handy sometimes though. I've never left the house without breakfast so I'd feel mean sending them out without it.

ceebee Yes, everything will be organised the day before. We do that now TBH. I even get the breakfast bowls and stuff out so I can switch onto auto-pilot and not have to hunt for things.

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oldraver · 23/08/2009 13:15

When I first started working full time DH had convienently gone to teh Falklands for 4 months. I had to get DS to the CM for 7.15 then 25 min drive to work. DS is a bit of a dreamer and I would send himto get a wash and 15 mins later I would go up and he would be miles a way swishing the water singing and I would be in a panic. I think I spent the first month or so screeching gently chiding him. Just try and organize as much as possible the day before, bags by the door etc

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BeauticianNotMagician · 24/08/2009 10:42

Im sure you will cope.Im hoping i do.Ds1s breakfast club doesnt start until 8am and ds2s nursery doesnt open until 8am.They are about a 15 minute walk from one another and im supposed tp start work at 8.30am which is about a half hour bus ride away.I really dont know how im going to manage it and am hoping it will work itself out.

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stealthsquiggle · 24/08/2009 10:53

Cleaner - definitely.

Breakfast at nursery - definitely. It's not neglectful, it's kind to them - it means they get more sleep and you don't have to shout as much It also means less cleaning up and that you can be much more 'ready to go' the night before (note - you will forget anything which isn't literally sitting by the front door (or even in the car)). The secret of minimum stress early starts in our house is for the DC to be up, teeth brushed, dressed and in the car before they notice.

Does that sound mean ? My DC prefer it that way - neither of them are "morning people" and the drive to nursery gives them a chance to wake up a bit before breakfast. If I have to get away promptly then I get up at 6am, ready by 7am(ish), get DC up 7:20am, out of house 7:40am, drop DD (plus breakfast) at 7:55am, DS will have a jam sandwich in the car en route from nursery to school, and I drop him at 8:15am.

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notevenamousie · 24/08/2009 19:24

I only have one but we leave at 6:45am - used to be 7:15 but have managed to work flexi so we can be home at 6. It's just a different way of life. We get up at 6. Get dressed. Leave. Breakfast on the bus. I study on the train. Work 8 hours. More study and e-mails on the train. Collect dd (who has a nap at nursery thankfully). Home, tea, get everything out for the next morning (this is VITAL), bath, bed. And start again. At weekends we do all the weeks cooking and washing and cleaning and whatever else she wants to do, swimming, park, soft play, it's basically her time to enjoy time with mummy. It's got to be done - work keeps food on the table and heat in the house.

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notevenamousie · 24/08/2009 19:26

Oh, we get up at 6 - is plenty of time for us, you just have to be organised.

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Nothernbird · 24/08/2009 20:08

It is hard - I have to drop my DS at nursery and DD at childminders (complicated) then commute in to London (45 mins) to get to work by 9! I have a shower the night before and sort out their bags and anything I need to take to work, in the morning give my DS some breakfast while I'm making the packed tea for DD and basically spend the rest of the time telling the kids to hurry up and we're going to be late (which I think anyone who needs to be anywhere goes through - just seems particularly unfair (on the DCs at 7am!). But you do get into a routine and once you've got that established it's amazing how that helps and really how much you can fit in.

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ElenorRigby · 26/08/2009 13:00

I've been doing nearly an hours round trip to DD's nursery morning and evening since DD was 8 months old with virtually no help at all. I'm up at 5:45 to out of the house for 6:45 and start work at 7:30. I've hated every day of it and its been a major contributor to my having quite a lot of time off ill with stress.
I'm looking forward to when I can have a sleep in until 6:30!

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