fed up!

[supervixen]

dd has not seen her dad for 2 weeks now. I am always the one who has to contact him, but he never replies, he was supposed to be having her this weekend. I was supposed to be going out for a meal on sat with friends as its a friends birthday, my friend wants to book a table, and wants to know if im coming. i am always relying on him and have to contact him if im going to have any sort of social life. my parents live too far away to babysit and my friends could babysit but i dont like to ask, plus its a bit short notice and most of them have families and are tied up anyway. I just want a reply, not only because dd misses him A LOT, but i want to know whats going on! is that too much to ask?

i feel very selfish contacting him because i want to go out. I dont go out much, i just want a bit of a life, but it all revolves around him, and he is impossible to contact. should i give up contacting him and give up my social life?

[nappyaddict]

Can you pay a babysitter instead? If you don't go out very often it would only be a one off and perhaps wouldn't break the bank too much? Have you asked her nursery teacher/ta if she is old enough to have either. they often do babysitting as extra.

[supervixen]

I wouldnt pay a stranger, i just couldnt do it, dont have the spare cash and dd would freak!!

i didnt think about the ta what a good idea!!

[nappyaddict]

that would work well cos DD will know her and won't freak. She also might do it a bit cheaper than an agency.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

SV
you are not selfish at all wanting to have some kind of social life,you are more than entitled to it
out of interest does your ex know that you're going out when he has or is meant to have DD?
i ask as alot of exs don't like the idea of any of us having any type of social life!
can you not just say that DD needs time with her Daddy and not let on that you need some me time?
this is my approach and it works!

[supervixen]

Oooh wow I never thought of it like that, yes he does know I want to go out!

but how has he a right to do this to me, he has a fiancee, a life, everything, no responsibilities whatsoever! there is me a 24/7 mum with no life, what a sucker. Im so mad.

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

exactly!
i learnt the hard way about this
if he knows that you have plans he'll scupper them of course

[compo]

can't your friend be a bit more understanding?
is there a group of you going so that if you cancel at the last minute it won't matter too much, just one less at the meal?

[supervixen]

right from now on I will have no plans when it comes to dds dad! lol

compo - yeah its a group, im sure it wont matter if I dont turn up. just really wanted to get out, ya know?

[ninah]

not in the least selfish! contact him, and good advice from asbm
Hope it works out!
my ex has gone from no contact for a year to having them in the hols - you need it, he needs it, they need it

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

yes its a win win situ.all round really
and yes hope you manage to get out at the w/e
i'm looking forward to mine
i'm desp.to get out here lol.

[supervixen]

what you doing at the weekend blonde?

i have finally had some sort of reply, a bit vague (what is wrong with a straight answer!!!) but he says in a round about way that he can have her sat night, so fingers crossed I am outta here for one night only haha