Is a 'family' worth sacrificing passion/romance/novelty for??

[AdAstra]

Hi, advice would be appreciated on this..
My ex and I were together several years from a very young age. neither of us wanted to commit and felt the relationship needed a change so we split up. i then discovered i was pregnant.
Now DC is 3 and we are officially separate but whenever we see each other (about once a month due to living far away from each other) it's just like we're together...we're very close etc. And we work well as a family unit.
I do want to 'try' other people (im not someone who romanticises being single tho - have been 'single' for nearly a year and its pretty dull). But finding someone else seems difficult and time consuming and tho i like the idea of dating it seems tricky even meeting people; what i have with x-p is familiar, not thrilling, but i think i could be content...is it worth sacrificing the possibility of romance and excitement etc for stable family set-up (assuming that was possible, obviously)?
sorry for the rambling essay, i'm just a bit confused!
AA

[WobblyPig]

I think you will get some people saying nevr compromise on true love/sexual attraction. I am not of that camp.
I am with my DH because we work well together have the same goals and interests and he is the kindest most generous man I have ever met. I have been attracted to other people but know that I would be losing a really good family life for something temporary and physical, although maybe more stimulating and exciting.

I may be wrong but in general I think excitement is always going to be short-lived unless you are in to serial monogamy.

[BreevandercampLGJ]

Ad Astra, welcome.

Only you can make that decision.

Interesting name, where did you get it from ??

[AdAstra]

thanks Wobbly Pig. I think i believe that too but I feel worried about making that commitment but then later regretting it, wondering what im missing, etc. i guess it probably makes a difference that i havent had a serious relationship with anyone else...so i THINK we work well together, but its really hard to judge with nothing to compare to!

BreevandercampLGJ its from a Latin phrase, ad astra per aspera (i think) - to the stars through difficulty.

i realise only i could make that decision - i wasn't asking anyone to decide for me, just for input.

AA

[solidgoldbrass]

Do you fancy your co-parent? Does he fancy you? How would you feel about him having sex with other people? How would he feel about you having sex with other people? If one or both of you feels indifferent about any of those topics then unless you are both fully poly-aware and have discussed it, then you would be very ill-advised to try and pairbond when you have a good working co-parent relationship already.

[AdAstra]

solidgoldbrass im not sure i totally understand you. Pairbond? do you mean find someone else or get together with each other again??
I do fancy him (but sex is very familiar, tho it has got more experimental and freer since we split up, strangely).I would like to experience other people in that way too and i think he would too. I don't mind the idea of him doing so altho his being emotionally attached to someone else bothers me a lot. I dont know how he feels about me sleeping with others really. he accepts it. we have talked about an 'open' relationship but just not sure how i feel about it or whether we'd be able to manage it.

[solidgoldbrass]

SOrry: 'Pairbond' = form a monogamous couple relationship ie get back together with him.

I think you are probably doing great as you are and don't need to change it.

[Tinkerbel6]

AdAstra I think you should keep your options open, there is no reason why you cant find romance and passion with another guy, at the moment it doesn't seem a very stable set up for your child and could be confusing as he got older, I don't think sex is a basis for a family unit either, maybe you can work together and try and be couple.