Moving on

[ninah]

Since I left exp, from being really tough life has got better, we are settled in new home, I have just started job, all going well. Thing is I've met a bloke, who seems keen on me but I'm unsure about the situation, not sure if this is because of how exp behaved (controlling, unfaithful, aggressive) or whether I just don't like this new bloke enough. When I'm with him I enjoy the time but I can see things in him I don't like too - penny pinching, dull, bald (apologies to any baldophiles, but I am not one) - am I just looking for reasons to put myself off though? cos against all that he's caring kind and affectionate, all of which my exp was not. We've been texting emailing since about Sept and meeting for about a month, he wants to get physical and although I do find him attractive in a way I'm really scared of getting in too deep and getting hurt again. He's still on the dating web we met on, though doesn't view often. But still. Although my exp treated us badly because he couldn't handle family life I was once very much in love with him and I have started to dream about him - literally dream I mean, not daydream, in my wakign life I know that's all past. Shall I give this new bloke a chance? I quite like being single and I think I'd have to be overwhelmed by someone amazing to change now. Part of me thinks I should grit my teeth and talk to him about this (it seems to have got more difficult to talk about feelings etc the more it goes on, lots of weather conversations) and part of me thinks just leave it. Anyone else struggled with accepting a new partner, adn how did you deal with it? I honestly didn't expect to be so screwed up, was so easy young and child free!

[hauntedcitylover]

He doesn't sound brill tbh - and if it's like this at the beginning then what will it be like when the supposed honeymoon period wears off!!

You shouldn't have to settle in my opinion. I think it's better to be single than in a relationship with anyone.

And no I couldn't do bald sorry, shaved yes bald no!!

And I fully understand that if you have had a crap marriage/relationship how scary it can be to go into another.

TBH I think if you really liked this new guy you wouldn't need to ask the question.

Am sorry to be so negative. I do know how you feel.

[hauntedcitylover]

PS I have decided that it would take an exceptional man to enter my domestic situation.

[ninah]

thanks, you confirmed what I have been thinking really.
I have been single for about 3 years, only just begun to think about looking for someone, was expecting the internet to be full of sharks, finding someone nice - but dull - something of a relief. However, you're right, dull today is going to be deadly tomorrow.
Even if I really liked someone and was bowled over I'd be wary, especially as the kind of bloke that would bowl me over would quite reasonably be looking for someone rather more nubile.
It was good to have got over the hurdle of an actual date though, if I ever do this again I'll go for a long friendship first.
Most of my time is taken up with dc and I have become really selfish with the free time I do have.
Appreciate the opinion.