my life is fucked up!

[anothermansmother]

does anyone else sometimes want to be with Xp then other times want to seriously maim them?
and now i have agreed to go away for the weekend with him and Ds obviously! never been in the same room with him overnight... i usually kick him out when Ds has gone to bed.i just dont know what i want which is highly unusual, but i think it comes down to what is best for Ds ruling over wht is best for me. he has been graet recently...and next week he will probably be a complete and utter *&%$£. and i love my Ds too much to have it all fucked up.

[estuaryfairy]

I know what you mean. I'm perfectly OK on my own with dd, in fact, better than when I was with xp, but I do ocassionally have the odd shaky moment, particularly when he's being nice. I find mentally listing all the things that make him an utter twunt stops any wistful thinking in its tracks. That, and the certainty that he'll revert to twattiness in a few days and blame me . Why can't you have separate rooms?

[anothermansmother]

i dont know actually... i hadnt even thought of seperate rooms, just the fact that he would be sleeping in the single bed and Ds and i would share. yep seperate rooms it is.
advantage is though i will make the most of having him take care of sleeping son whilst i hit the gym, sauna and pool! well he was the one that wanted to spend the weekend with Ds, so that is what he can do.
yes his twattiness will probably come back and i dont think he will be able to hold out the whole weekend.
is it bad that i sometimes think he does it to see how far he can push me, and that the niceness has alterior motives? like wanting name on birth cert?...or am i just really sceptical.

[estuaryfairy]

Sceptical should be your default mode when dealing with an xp! There is always a selfish motive behind mine's 'niceness', shame he's so stupid that I can always see through him. Is your ds not old enough for your xp take him away for a weekend on his own?

[anothermansmother]

he is only 2 and i dont let him out of my sight... i wouldnt put it past him to take off with him just to prove a point.
so im along for the ride. he keeps telling me he loves me, made a big mistake, is doing all he can etc...yes sceptical is my usual mode. i think he is very transparent and he cant see i wont budge on things i dont want, what would stop him leaving again.
i let him see Ds as he is a good dad and i cant take that away from him, i made him go to anger management tho, just to be sure the temper i have seen doesnt impact on DS life or mine.