Ok, havent had a penny for ds from xp in last two years, csa useless, sick of asking him when we will see some money....

[VinegarTits]

...i finally lost the plot and posted the following on the contacts page of his business website:

'What are your prices for some finacial contribution to the upbringing of

[VinegarTits]

Stoopid and immature, thats me

[poshwellies]

I haven't had 12 yrs of csa payments (we got one year out of the sly f*ck and now he is out of work ) I'm currently devising a plan of making a non csa paying heat seeking missile..

Like your style by the way

[Tinkerbel6]

VT don't worry you have done it now, why aren't you getting any maintenance?, I take it he is self employed and hiding his assets?, can't you get back on the phone to the CSA and give them his website address, aslong as they have his NI number they can track his finacial movements

[sunnygirl1412]

VT - you are NOT stupid and immature. What's immature about wanting your xp to contribute to his child's upbringing? You've only done what you've been driven to do.

Now, does he have a Facebook account that you can put the same message on?

[VinegarTits]

Yes tinker, he is self employed. Have been onto the csa many times and given them all the info i can about his work, even told them the name of the bar he sometimes dj's at.

My nursery fees are going up by £100 per month as the nursery i use is closing and the nearest, cheapest nursery i could find is a extra £25 a week.

Just what i need before xmas

There is no talking to him, he just says, i will give you something next month and then he never does, what else can i do?

[lulabellarama]

I'd, love to advise, but I have never had a penny out of XP. It will get easier soon when they get to school.
Wish I could be of more practical help.

[VinegarTits]

How about i put posters up around his local town center? i could put up a picture of him and say he is wanted for non payment of maintenance to his ds, it might embarass him into coughing up

Name and shame

[TheNewsMonger]

You posted that on his company's website?

Well done! Genius. My children's father gives me NOTHING despite earning a very good salary. I might have to take out an advert in the Surrey Commet or something like that. Actually, you have given me a good idea. That's not illegal is it??

[TheNewsMonger]

Vinegar, you have my reespek. If my x wanted nothing to do with children it wouldn't confuse me so much. But demanding and wanting to be part of their lives but refusing point blank to contribute a cent.... That's harder to accept I think.

[sunnygirl1412]

If I was local to you, Vinegar - I'd come and help put up the posters - I can even bring me own staplegun!

[TheNewsMonger]

So would I. I live in Ireland but otherwise I'd come and help you. We could staple them up all over his town, so that he'd see about forty or so on his way to work! Near his house, near parents' house! and then we could all have a pizza and a bottle of wine and wait for the shit to hit the fan!

OOOH it ssounds like a good night out really.

[VinegarTits]

TNM - the website is his own business, so only he will see it, it was one of those contact page thingies so will go straight to his email, but i am so tempted about the posters, or an ad in his local paper...

'wanted - finacially reponsibile parent, apply within'

[VinegarTits]

He lives 30 mins away, so local enough to go and put posters up, but far away enough for my friends and family to not see them

[TheNewsMonger]

Still that'll have given him a mini shudder I imagine. You infiltrating his work life like that. He might feel a bit nervous; wonder what you are going to do next. And if he felt a bit nervous, it'd serve him right.

[VinegarTits]

Sadly it will probably just go over his head, i have told him to his face that he should be embarassed and ashamed that he hasnt paid a penny for ds

He just shrugged.

[TheNewsMonger]

My x the same. He recknons that when I left him I was implicity undertaking to support the children 100%.

Convenient interpretation. He drives around in a PORSCE and gives his children £1 a month! If he's not ashamed of himself now, he never will be.

[TheNewsMonger]

I mean a porsche.

[VinegarTits]

sounds like i need to come to Ireland and help you name and shame instead!

[MrsSanta]

Bastards, the cheek not paying up bt stil wanting the access to the kids. I am not naieve but didnt think this was so common in the dads that want to see the kids.
Just thought it was the scum bags that disappear out of their lives without a bean. How do they get away with it.

Hats off to you all doing a great job, I am lucky to have a dh.

[colnelcustard]

I am going to swear now. Why should all these fucking wankers get access to their children and all the good bits when they can't put their fucking hands in their pockets.

Children don't stop costing money just because they don't live in the same house as you.

My exh even pretended he worked in the fucking accounts department of his last firm and when the csa called he told them a load of lies. They are a useless bunch of tossers as well.

I'm sorry I just get so stressed out by it all. Times are hard for everyone so why should they constantly get away with not paying.

Incidentally, I called up outside the house to my exh's girlfriend (bedroom window). Tell your stripper to take some money out of her fucking gstring if you can't afford it (she is a professional dance not a stripper) I dont like being a fishwife but needs must.

[ELOB]

why do some of you feel a need for your ex's to be pleasant to you, making you scared to insist on child maintenance. its for your children and your doing it for them. im well aware about having to take time, do things amicably, reasonably, considerately etc, but there is a point when you can say you have been all those things now its time to pay up. if hes horrible, so what. you dont have to live with him, answer the phone or door. you dont even need to respond to him should he shout at you etc in front of your children. let everyone, including his children hear him for what he is, and you stay quiet, then say goodbye once children are inside house. dont rush them in beacause you are scared of a scene, be relaxed, as if you cant hear him, never mind be 'interested' in what he is saying and politely close the door. pull curtains if its really bad turn up tv and completely ignore him. he is not your problem and him being approached by csa etc is HIS problem. not yours. let him sort it out.