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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Mobile number given to ex's g/f

17 replies

MUMDONEGOOD · 30/08/2008 10:57

Ex has given my mobile number to his friends and I think g/f. He said that as I found out about her he has given them my number in case I harass them. Apparently, they are middle class and posh and would not put up with harrassement. I havent done anything. I haven't even got their numbers. Told me to be wise with what I do. Why do you reckon he is doing this now when I threw him out nearly four weeks ago. I cant handle the thought of people thinking badly of me.

OP posts:

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ThatBigGermanPrison · 30/08/2008 11:00

There's nothing you can do about this, as far as I know. I suppose firebombing his house is a step too far, sadly. very for you.

piratecat · 30/08/2008 11:00

beucase he is trying to rubbish you, and undermine you.

punish you if you like.

very very childish.

It's isn't a good feeling, thinking people think badly of you. I felt tlike this when ex dh was whinging to his new gf's friends/family.

hecate · 30/08/2008 11:00

Does he have reason to think that you would call them? That seems rather odd. "Be wise with what you do" Eh?

Have you harrassed anyone in the past? Have you been phoning him?

I think the best thing for you to do is to look at him like and tell him he is a very silly little man, and then get on with your life.

People won't think badly of you unless you give them cause to - and if these are HIS friends, and people you don't even know well enough to have their phone numbers - what the hell do you care what they think, anyway?

Rise above it.

piratecat · 30/08/2008 11:02

so if you havent got thier numbers, and woulsn't even bother calling if you did then, tbh it's all fine.

Don't let them have any ammo. Keep your dignity, and let him get on with ruining someone elses life.
stay strong!!

Tinkerbel6 · 30/08/2008 11:03

mumdonegood he is trying to make you out to be some kind of bunny boiler, from now on whatever he says just laugh as him and say something like 'oh you wish, or ok if you like and give him a smarmy grin', he is trying to get back at you and he will only succeed if you let him, for a start change your mobile number and keep doing it every time he dishes it out, or get another phone just for friends and family but keep getting different numbers for him, what a plank

MUMDONEGOOD · 30/08/2008 11:04

I contacted his mum to see dd when we split up by letter, but only gave her my numbers to contact if she wanted to. Have never harrassed anyone before. Still telling me he is not having a relationship with this woman {not sure why he doesnt just admit it). Dropped by yesterday for you know what. Obviously didnt get any. Didnt even ask about dd.

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Tinkerbel6 · 30/08/2008 11:17

yes don't let him use you, he sounds like he is being maipulative because you don't want him, don't talk to him unless you really have to regarding your daughter, and if he come out with any more rubbish just talk over him and tell him bye, don't contact his mum anymore cause if she really wanted to see yur daughter she would make an effort.

Freckle · 30/08/2008 11:23

Change your number then you are all in the same boat where noone has the other's number. Only give your number to people you trust. If his mum wants to see dd, presumably she has your address.

MUMDONEGOOD · 30/08/2008 11:26

She came down and took dd a few days ago. Apparently she didnt have our new numbers had just moved. Thats when dd saw picture of ex and gf. I think I will get a new mobile.

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MUMDONEGOOD · 30/08/2008 11:29

I'm tired soooo tired.

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misi · 31/08/2008 00:43

mumdonegood, you never promised me about your thyroid test did you????????

MUMDONEGOOD · 31/08/2008 10:51

Sorry Misi, Had a blood test, but waiting for results. Will let you know as soon as doctor lets me know. I'm old you know it might be the big M if you know what I mean. That would be the last straw, I might as well curl up and die if thats the case.

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Gettingagrip · 31/08/2008 11:53

MDG

Couldn't read this and not post.

I am 50 and have just gone throught the Big M.

I left my husband, was subject to harassment and threats, amost homeless, et cetcetc

Still battling severe depression, BUT in many ways.....I feel better than I have for thirty years...I go out dancing 5 or 6 nights a week, I have more energy than I have ever had...I don't care what anyone thinks...I feel liberated for the first time in my life!

The menopause is to be embraced not feared. All those hormones that said to you 'nurture, nurture, nurture' 'put up with crap for the sake of your chidren and to keep the peace' ...they all disappear and you are left with hormones that say ....you are fabulous...you are a person like any other ...your opinions and dreams are as vaid as everyone else's.

HTH! x

MUMDONEGOOD · 31/08/2008 12:03

Sorry GAG bit messed up at the moment myself. Would like another child to be honest, always wanted a big family. Reality has hit me hard at the moment and I am not coping very well. I feel as though I am on the shelf and alone. I am trying to step out of this mind phase but am finding it hard. I not only am missing my ex but have family issues buried in my head too.

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Gettingagrip · 31/08/2008 12:32

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be flippant .

I know how hard it is. I don't know your history, but you just have to take it one day at a time I think. Don't look any further ahead than that. Otherwise you become overwhelmed with the whole thing.

And if you are thinking of another child you are obviously not old!!!! Not as old as me anyway!!!! And that's really old!!!!

Can you treat yourself to something just for you? Just something little like a magazine or some chocolate?

Where do you live? Are you anywhere near RL friends?

xxx

MUMDONEGOOD · 31/08/2008 14:42

I live in Norwood, not sure what RL friends means, my head isnt working properly. I turned 40 last April. I was really excited as I thought now life would settle down. But now a few months later I feel like I did in my 20s and 30s, that nothing is going to change. I love chocolate but am so overweight dont want to binge on it. See no-one can help me because I cant even help myself.

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misi · 31/08/2008 16:25

mumdonegood, 40 is not old, younger than me and I am the old goat, so my sister says
chocolate has an ingredient that is mood lifting so its no wonder you love it

get the results of the tests and go from there, sounds like you are clinically depressed and if the major concern is thyroid, your doc can help you recover from this.
if its not thyroid, we need to get you some serious other help.

at the moment, you are letting your ex win, but refusing him sex the other night was a good first step in laying this beast in your life to rest.
what happened a few months ago that was the catalyst for this? was it your ex moving in or was there something else behind it that your ex made worse? ah reading your last post again, you turned 40 in april. SO WHAT? instead of having my 40th with a big family and friends party that my mum, 2 sisters and now ex partner arranged without my knowledge, I spent it locked in a room alone without my son as my ex had taken him away when she told me to get out of my own home as well as everything else some months before. it was only a while later when my solicitor got contact reinstated that I started to buck up a bit. I had my big 40th party the next year and it was the best, my ex won the first year, but she will not win again.

RL friends are real life friends, is norwood near bromley? my geography of london is not too good but its what came up on google! any MNers around to go slap mumdonegood around a bit

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