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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

I have a hot date..... what do i do???

78 replies

charlotte121 · 10/07/2008 21:06

Its been so long since i have had a date that i dunno what to do.
What do i wear, what do i chat about.... aaaggggghhhhhhhh........ help me.

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zippitippitoes · 10/07/2008 21:07

wear aare you going sand who with where did you meet him and how old are you

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happynewme · 10/07/2008 21:08

nice jeans and a pretty top?
be you... don't talk about kids.. talk about i dunno travel, news, cinema, sports... just have fun!
lucky you!

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charlotte121 · 10/07/2008 21:16

as i have 2 dcs that are fairly young he is coming to mine and were getting a dvd and a takeaway.... he has been very accomodating which is supprising and very nice of him. I aleady knew him, we were girlfriend and boyfriend when we were about 15. Im 20, we got bk in contact with one another a few weeks bk but he is off to the army soon
Think jeans and top sound like a gd plan, go the smart/ casual route thanks x

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Pinkchampagne · 10/07/2008 21:21

Well, seen as you have already dated, I am sure the conversation will flow fairly easily!

For a night in type of date, I would go for jeans & a nice top.

Good luck!

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PurpleOne · 10/07/2008 21:43

I aksed wxactly the same question here last month lol.

Def agree with some nice jeans and a flowy top, some nice bangles, bit of slap etc.

Good Luck, and just be yourself!!

And make sure his name isn't Frank. After an incident with chocspiders a few weeks ago, I am bloody paranoid PMSL

Seriously, I'm jealous.

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allgonebellyup · 10/07/2008 21:51

charlotte havent you only just had a brand new baby?

i am jealous you are out on a date

i am still in my 20s and never have dates. I have healed over, too.

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allgonebellyup · 10/07/2008 21:52

sorry, in with a date.

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charlotte121 · 10/07/2008 23:56

lol well i think hes scared, hes off to join the army and i think he wants someone to come home to.
Have just had a baby which is good because it means sex isnt on the cards for a while and means we can actually get to know one another without feeling preassure to rush into things.
Thank god as well as im not exactly in amazing shape and my stratch marks are gross. best get the bio oil on lol.
Im worried about my ex, i know he will get funny about it even though he has a new partner. I dont want him to cause problems. but hey i will cross that bridge when i come to it.
he is a nice guy and it will be lovely to have some company. Im really excited/nervous about the whole thing. Gonna treat myself to a hair cut and a new top

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charlotte121 · 10/07/2008 23:57

lol btw his name is dave, not frank lol

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fawkeoff · 11/07/2008 10:20

awwww charlotte completely chuffed for you sweetie x

hope it goes well

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charlotte121 · 11/07/2008 19:42

thanks fawk. lets hope he doesnt mess me around and turn out to be a shit like most other men.

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littlewoman · 11/07/2008 20:33

Char, I'm so excited for you. You've had so much crap recently and it's about time fate winked at you.

Now, what you have to do is:

Get up, stand up, strut your funky stuff, yeah...

You are in control of this one okay? Don't give him the reigns in this relationship. You lead it.

Best of luck - hope you have a fab fab fab time. Let us know how it went ((()))

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charlotte121 · 11/07/2008 23:27

lol liking your style littlewoman. I am going to take things very slowly if anything is going to happen.
Its very soon after dd's birth to get into a new relationship and i dont want people in rl to look at me badly because of that.
He's off to the army so hopefully that will mean things have to go slowly. But i hope i have learnt something from exp and i never let a guy treat me like that again.

Thanks for your comments... Im currently trying to get the flat staright for the date. The whole place is a tip from the builders. Hope he doesnt judge me on the decorating either.... its a work in progress!

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davidtennantsmistress · 11/07/2008 23:54

good luck hope it goes well for you.

as others have said you already know him so that's a good starting point. how old if your DC? (sorry haven't seen). tbh let people in RL think what they will, you 2 will know what's right and what's not.

and as for the mess - well he should be there cos of your company not inspecting your house.

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PurpleOne · 12/07/2008 01:17

Char, that's what my date said to me about a week ago. 'I'm here to see you, not behave like cleanliness inspectors'. Even though I thought the place was a tip, he came back 3 times since then.

Have now panicked him tho lol, told him I'm coming to see him next week. He's already said his place is a shit tip so am expecting it.
Really, just do what you can, within reason. The babies come first.
I also agree with littlewoman...keep in control and you'll have him begging for more. Do not pass go and collect £200 on your way through, keep him waiting for Mayfair!
Be excited, be nervous..that's what datings all about.

Whens the date? and have you got your clothes sorted yet?

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bikermom · 12/07/2008 01:23

Have fun and kick a*%e

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charlotte121 · 12/07/2008 11:12

lol one evening next week, he just wasnt sure what shifts he was working as he's a div and didnt look at the rota... its great he works in one of my fave clothes shop so i will be making full use of his staff discount.
cant believe how relaxed he is about the kids... just worried that he will be shocked when he see's me (havnt seen each other for a while, have been chatting on msn) i've had 2 kids since he last saw me so im not exactly in "mint condition" carrying a tum, which im sure will disapear as i have only just had dd, covered in stretch marks... nothing i can do there and my boobs, well they r just aa joke so im gonna have to hope he doesnt mind damaged goods lol. x

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charlotte121 · 12/07/2008 11:13

oh and no clothes sorted as yet. want o get my hair cut if i can

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littlewoman · 12/07/2008 15:42

Ahem, excuse me, not damaged goods, if you don't mind. Now you've already handed the control over, Charlotte, by making yourself the second-class citizen in this couple.

How are you going to rephrase that comment to make it clear he's lucky to be seeing you, eh? Eh?

Waiting for Mayfair

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charlotte121 · 12/07/2008 16:56

lol well he seems to have a high opinion on me but like i say he hasnt seen me since i had the kids. I just dont want him to look at me and run a mile. That would be slightly depressing.
Its very difficult to have a high opinion of yourself when you have been with someone for years who belittled you... I wanna grow to love myself... my mum has always told me you cant expect anyone else to love you if you dont love yourself and i think she is right im just not sure how to take the first step lol.

I dont wanna get my heart broken again... hmmm well anyways must keep my chhin up.... dont wanna get in a low mood, i stupidly agreed to babysit my niece tonight so im going to have a 5 week old baby, a 1yr old and a 3 yr old.... wish me luck. Have spent the day cleaning and i know shes going to come over and mess it all up! Thanks for all your kind words tho... its nice to have people who say nice stuff about u. x

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PurpleOne · 12/07/2008 17:11

Char, your mum is right. Taking ever so tiny baby steps each day is the way to go. Doing one nice thing for yourself a day is paramount when you've been with a twonk for years. Just makes you feel better about yourself.
As a survivour of DV I know how that feels. I still have very down days - but after being free of asshole for so long, I'm a much stronger person now.

Just take it slowly and gently, and don't tolerate any crap.
Damaged goods don't ever say that about yourself!. You bore children, one of the most natural things in the world. And I'm sure he realises that already, without even seeing you yet!

Keep us all posted x x

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charlotte121 · 12/07/2008 17:19

lol he just spoke to me but seemed a bit weird... lets hope its just his hangover lol....

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charlotte121 · 12/07/2008 17:20

btw purpleone... i love the word twonk, isnt it great.

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davidtennantsmistress · 12/07/2008 17:24

quite, damaged good - you are most definatly not that, fgs you've only just had a baby at 5 weeks! Truely if he can't see past all of that to the person you are inside then he's a fool. not worth your attention.

also had an abusive X was well - it does get better the loving yourself bit, but the others are right baby steps, then one day you'll wake up and think I don't need to think/say to myself i'm pretty or i'm slim or whatever it might be you will automatically know it. you are a v pretty lady, and your boys are lovely (esp love the sun glasses pic! lol)

just relax and go with it.

please never say you're damaged goods again - you are a lady, you are a mother, you are most certainly not damaged goods.

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littlewoman · 12/07/2008 18:10

I just looked at your pictures. I wish to holy hell that I looked that damage Char

I will slap your legs if you ever say anything of the sort again!!

Abuse is behind you sweetheart. I do understand totally what you are saying, but that's in the past. Look at that photo you've posted and think to yourself 'that is a very pretty girl. He's a lucky guy, and he better not blow his chance'.

Really Char, if you think you're great, you come to believe it. Now. Chin up, chest out.

'Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me....'