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top tips for flirting, for someone who hasnt flirted for about 10 years!!!!

5 replies

averyquickex · 28/06/2008 19:17

I am relatively recently a lone parent, and while accepting it, something I find hard is not only am I now ALLOWED to flirt with men I find attractive (after years of not doing so, so xh wouldnt get jealous), but I actually dont know how to do it!
I hae been out of the loop so long now...
So, what do you do?
And how do you find out if they are already attached?

OP posts:
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citylover · 28/06/2008 23:04

I am a naturally flirtatious person but would say that being married to exh squashed that all out of me. I felt like an unattractive mumsy drudge at the end of our marriage.

However nearly two years on I have really got my spark back. This is what I did.

I did not go on a diet (although I am overweight size 16 top and size 14 bottom). What I did do before any flirting was to give myself a sort of talking to about my body. Also combined with lots of attention to my appearance. I went to a Paul McKenna seminar which helped no end.

I vowed never ever to run myself down in front of a man. In other words I psyched myself/fooled myself into being the attractive, ok person I once was.

Was worried that I couldn't read signals etc but I then quite unexpectedly had a brief flirtation connection with an youngish Italian guy. That was nice. Meant nothing but nice.

Then I was contacted out of blue by an olf bf and we have been casually dating since then. I have also put myself on a few dating sites but handle with caution!!

Finally have found that I have been connecting more with all sorts of people. Have got my groove back and am actually having fun. That was a word I had forgotten.

So I sorted myself out first then the rest came naturally. Has not been easy but worth it in the end. Hope that helps.

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prettyfly1 · 29/06/2008 16:01

smile a lot, look into someones eyes when your talking to them and show interest in what they are saying. then take the lead from them. if they are interested the signals are there but approach cautiously. i dont hold with batting of eyelids and twiddling of hair. just be nice and be interested and take it from there! have fun!

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nkf · 29/06/2008 16:02

Stick your hand down their trousers. Never fails to get their interest.

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Rachmumoftwo · 29/06/2008 16:21

How to tell if a man is single- hmmm tricky. Be straightforward and ask if they are single? Look for a wedding ring (or tan line/indent on wedding finger)? Steal their mobile phone while they are in the loo and look for evidence of a wife and family?

Flirting is easier- compliment them, act like they are really interesting, make eye contact, have physical proximity with your body openly facing theirs, touch their arm, play with your hair, smile, make-eye contact, be nice, laugh at their jokes and so on.

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bran · 29/06/2008 16:28

Do you remember a series called "Would like to meet"? It had great tips about the body language of flirting, things like how to angle your body towards the other person, leaning in a little when they are saying something interesting etc. There is a book of the series on ebay here and Tracy Cox (the flirt coach) has also written a book called flirting. There is also a helpful article by her here.

I hope you enjoy yourself and catch up on all the flirting you've missed out on.

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