a friend's behaviour - drugs

[susia]

I have a very good friend whose behaviour has really worried me. She is a single parent with 3 kids. She takes alot of drugs, to the point where the oldest 14 has to look after the younger ones alot. She drinks alot and is often out of control.

I would never do anything like report her to social services as she adores her children and they adore her. But her behaviour is getting out of control. She takes hard drugs like ketamine and frequently gets really ill. She is very thin and for example doesn't cook etc.

I have spoken to her about this and in fact a few years ago she stopped talking to me for a long time.

Other 'friends' have contacted SS and this has not helped

[gillybean2]

You'd never contact social services? Not under any circumstances? Even if the children were at risk of significant harm or death? Do you think the 'friends' (which you put in quotes yourself) are less of a friend for doing this?

We all have an obligation to protect vulnerable people in our society, especially children. I appreciate your loyalty to your friend, but you should be thinking about the children.

Would you be of if someone to looked the other way if you were in need of help? When do you think someone should step in exactly? If your mother was hit by a car which didn't stop would you be ok if people ignored her because it wasn't anything to do with them? If your child was being physically asaulted in the street should people just walk by? Where is the acceptable line for you exactly?

You have a responsibity to your friend to ensure her children are safe. But more importantly, as a memeber of society you have an obligation to help these children.

If social services won't act, and you won't contact them then phone childline or parentline and get some proper advice on what you should do for these children.

Children only get removed when there is significant risk to them. SS do try to work with parents, even those abusing drugs.

Do the right thing by these children. Could you live with yourself if something happened to them or your friend and you stood by and did nothing?

[cestlavie]

Very beautifully and articulately put Gillybean. I entirely agree.

[Twinkie1]

Ditto what Gillybean says - you should care more about them because they are your friends kids!

[witchandchips]

i would talk to the 14 year old, she's bearing the brunt of it, she should decide.

[susia]

I can't talk to the 14 year old as she would defend her mother totally as it is all she knows.

[Creole]

Then call SS, the more people that call them regarding this matter, the more likely they'll take an interest.

Act now!