How long to wait before introducting new man to the DS's............

[FAQ]

only been seeing him 2 weeks, so I know it's still too soon, but he wants to meet them (or should I say he wants to spend the afternoon playing on the PS2 with them PMSL) and I really don't know how long I should leave it.

DS1 knows that I had a friend who's male over on Friday night and that we drank wine and ate pizza (and he stayed until 6am in the morning - although DS1 doesn't know that bit).

Obviously I don't want to introduce them too soon only for them to get attached to him and then everything go tits up. On the other hand I don't want to leave it too long either

Advice please........

[charliecat]

Cant you introduce him as a mate, like you do with normal mates?
No biggness involved?
They dont know what you are doing once the pizzas been eaten!

[Yorkiegirl]

Message withdrawn

[FAQ]

lol - not much been happening (yet ) after the pizza has been eaten - except for talking for England PMSL.

[FAQ]

yes I suppose I could introduce him as a friend, I have other male friends so wouldn't be a huge thing for them.

[ElenorRigby]

DP and I waited 5 months before I was introduced to his DD. Both of us wanted to be sure our relationship was serious before I met his DD. Neither of us liked the idea of his DD meeting a series of daddys girlfriends.
DP had a GF before me never introduced her to DD.

[ElenorRigby]

Oh and I forgot to say I wasnt introduced as a girlfriend, but just a friend

[lou33]

just bring him round and introduce him as a friend

how long you have known him is not the main thing but how comfortable you feel with him being about your children, is

and congratulations

[FAQ]

thanks

Didn't think I'd be starting threads like this quite so soon .

[glitterfairy]

God for you FAQ. I am using the friendship thing to be honest. Also I dont know what is going on properly in my head yet and until I do then he is just a really good friend!

[glitterfairy]

Meant good! SOS.

[Pinkchampagne]

I waited a while before introducing my new man to my DS's, and when I did, I introduced him as "mummy's man friend"
Kept it like this (we have been together 9 months now), until DS1 saw him giving me a hug & a goodbye kiss, and said "Aha - I knew it - I knew he was your boyfriend!"
He is totally fine with it though.

Hope all goes well with the new relationship. It is positive that he is taking an interest in your children. Good luck with it all.

[FAQ]

lol - I knew what you meant - he's coming round to see me again tonight (after DS's are in bed)

[glitterfairy]

You are lucky, my dcs go to bed so late It would be a midnight visit.

Hiya PC I think my kids are too old for some of this though and they ask all kinds of questions in any case so I have to be really careful. As I never get time off because the eldest two dont see X it is also hard to disguise stuff or take advantage of absence.

[Judy1234]

I think 6 months is about right.

[FAQ]

ooooo that was a close shave - he nearly met the DS's sooner than I anticipated - he left at 7am, the boys got up about 10 minutes ago

[ladytophamhatt]

FAQ....I'm going to be a real killjoy here but I think you're mad having him stay all night after only 2 weeks.

I obv have my boring/sensible/dull head on thsi morning....

[MascaraOHara]

I introduce potential boyfs as friends.. I have lots of male friends so dd really doesn't think anything of us going for lunch/coffee etc with a man.

I don't like to wait to long before the initial contact as I like to gauge their behaviour.. no point getting attached to a bloke who then can't stand your child.. much easier to just meet for coffee etc.. also dd knows I have blokes round and we drink wine and watch films.. I do this with my friends regardless of gender

to be honest as long as you've not got a different bloke in your bed every sunday morning I think they'll be fine

[FAQ]

well he wasn't going to stay all night - but we were still sat talking/cuddling and it got light

[FAQ]

it was a bit like when he came round for wine and pizza on Friday night and I wasn't going to let him stay late (was DS3's birthday on Saturday so chucking out time was going to be earliest yet - at around midnight) - he left at five past 6 - although in fairness it would have been 5.30 but his taxi was really long coming.

We both have the gift of the gab and can talk for England so quite easy to pass an entire night LOL

[madmuggle]

My rule for any future encounters is a year. Your choice on what you do, but I would make it months, not weeks.

Enjoy your time with newmanchap

[Pinkchampagne]

I waited until after Christmas before there was any contact at all between my boys and my new man (we started dating last Aug, so it was around 5 months into the relationship), and then it was just letting DS1 stay up a little later, say hello to new man, then go to bed. I wanted to introduce him very slowly.

Even now, 9 months in, we normally meet when boys are with their dad. I will gradually increase it, but I don't think there is too much of a rush in the first year.
I want to spend the first year making sure our relationship is pretty solid as a couple before involving the boys too much. I am fortunate that the boys see their dad on a regular basis, which allows me to be able to do this.

Hi GF, hope all is going well with you & your new romance.
You have good kids, and they are that much older than mine, so will understand more. I am sure all will work out just fine for you.

[chocolatespiders]

it all sounds lovely but when do you sleep?

[Pinkchampagne]

Sounds like a good start to the new relationship, FAQ.
Hope all continues to go well for you.

[Pinkchampagne]

Lol, CS. Doesn't sound like there was much sleeping going on!

[FAQ]

sleep? what's that LOL.

I hardly sleep anyhow, so no big deal if I miss a night or two's sleep a few times a week.