sex for the first time in 2 years - scared!!

[mocca]

I can't believe this is happening to me after my crap divorce! Am about to spend a weekend away with a lovely new man (separated 2 years ago from ex and he's the first since then and am really ready for a new relationship). Met him online and emailed for weeks and got to know him quite well, finally met and I wasn't expecting anything but we really clicked. We haven't stopped thinking about eachother since then and are both really excited about the weekend. We're booked into a hotel in separate rooms - he's been a real gent and said he didn't want me to think that he expected to sleep with me. Communication is good between us and my gut instinct is to trust him until proven otherwise. Everything he's done so far indicates that he's really keen on me.

Having not had sex though for 2 years and before that it was just going through the motions, I am absolutely ready to explode! At 50, I have never felt so alive and wanting sex (with the right man). I'm nervous about the weekend, I think I'd like something exclusive and long-term with this man if we're right for eachother(although we live 200 miles apart and both have kids)and wonder if having sex this soon is wise. Should I just go with the flow and see what happens or make a decision beforehand to hold off? I would definitely be comfortable just sleeping with him though and lots of cuddling and kissing. Feel like a teenager but want to act like a mature woman!

[zippitippitoes]

have a lovely time

separate

rooms takes the pressure off i think

you will be fine

200 miles is a lot i am seeing someone who lives 100 miles away and that seems far enough

he sounds lovely and is giving you lots of secure feelings which is good

[zippitippitoes]

we had the same room and i did feel really embarrassed but he was cool

we have got passed that stage now tho thank goodness

[purpleduck]

ooooh, lucky you - all that delicious anticipation!!

Go prepared for it (in terms of ahem, foliage) but take the pressure off yourself - don't make any decisions, and just see how it all goes. If all is well and you want to sleep with him, go for it.

Have a lovely time

[zippitippitoes]

and you are the same age as me..

[mocca]

thanks ladies - yes am attacking the foliage tonight, spent a fortune on a lovely new epilator which promises not to hurt too much! How did you meet yours Zippi and how often do you get together? Have you got kids?

[mocca]

thanks ladies - yes am attacking the foliage tonight, spent a fortune on a lovely new epilator which promises not to hurt too much! How did you meet yours Zippi and how often do you get together? Have you got kids?

[zippitippitoes]

online dating i have kids but they are grown up ds was 19 is just 20 and theothers are 23 and 24 so no problem and he is single no kids no previous

he is young tho so dont envisage it being long term tho we have been seeing each othe for 6 months or so we met in october

we see each other quite a lote of weekends but we have no commitments so easier

it does mean its quite intense when we are together

how old are your kids and his..how old is he [i am nosey you dont have to answer]

[zippitippitoes]

actually most wekends

[mocca]

Looked at your profile Zippi, we have loads in common I think, love the Louise Borgeois pic. He's 52, how old is yours? I have a 58 year old friend who's got a 42 year old b/f!
Don't worry and enjoy it, sounds great.

My D is only 8 but her dad very hands on so has her a lot. The man has already asked me to a couple of things, one next weekend but can't go, but it felt nice. Reckon we could get together every 2/3 weeks if things work out - would probably be enough for me right now...

[zippitippitoes]

he is 31

i love louise bourgeois stuff

its expensive having a long distance relationship but if you have a good job not so bad i guess

i dont lol

an eight year old that is young we are free really i am living on my own as of the last week

tho dd1 and her bf are in the house i built in the garden now just moved in

and ds anddd2 are round the corner

[Tinkerbel6]

Just go with the flow, pack some nice undies, have a nice meal and a bottle of wine and take it from there, if it feels right do it, if it don't then wait until it feels right, good luck.

[peabunny]

Good luck, hope it works out and you have a great time! One step at a time, make sure you feel comfortable with him.

[ANTagony]

Sorry to be a bore but you should pack more than just undies if your planning more than a peck on the cheek. What if he's a real gent and doesn't take his own precautions and you want to take things further? Once went with my ex to a hotel after first son not back on pill had a really nice afternoon, bottle of wine, post diner drinks etc got back to the room forgotten the essentials and the hotel didn't sell any. No shops nearby, late at night, real passion killer. Cold showers just not the same thing.

Go with the flow and enjoy yourself, very jelous

Maybe those of us that lack the confidence and attraction you have, can all live vicariously through you.

[mocca]

Ah thanks, ANTagony - will take note of your story. Had in fact decided to pay a visit to Boots tomorrow, just in case...

Actually have decided to go for it, chances like this don't come up very often and if he's the man I think he is, then it can only get better. And if he does disappear, then he obviously wasn't what I thought he was.

Keep saying to myself, can this be happening to me, I'm 50, but of course it can - it's all to do with attitude so any of you out there who think it can't happen to you, well you're wrong. You can't wait for them to fall out of the sky though, so get online, it's a great way to meet people.

[zippitippitoes]

i am constantly surprised as well on the im 50 front well in fact 51 next week

my bf is excited about seeing me this weekend too it is nice

make the most of it he sounds lovely

[mocca]

And happy birthday to you Zippi, it's not that bad is it! Have a lovely weekend yourself.

[mocca]

Actually, feel like I've come down to earth with a bang - have just been defuzzing in preparation and had to come face to face with my body. I haven't looked at it properly for such a long time now and the sight of it almost made me cry....

I used to be proud of my body, now I'm a stone overweight, everything is sagging and I don't recognise myself. Can't imagine any guy finding it attractive and feel like calling the whole thing off.

[littlewoman]

Get up there, and strut your funky stuff, woman!!

And have a GREAT time.

[georgiemama]

Don't be silly mocca, all you need is some well fitting black undies and a bottle of something bubbly and you'll be laughing. Don't you dare call it off, you;ll regret it.

[zippitippitoes]

mocca you have already met him he likes you and he wont be totally confident himself dont worry

or to put it another way i was totally dreading revealing my body but bizarrely he finds me attractive so i am sure your man will too..he wont be expecting perfection he will just like being with you

[mocca]

aah, thanks girls, I'll just have to keep my bra on I reckon and the lights down really low.. it's so scary but exciting at the same time. And Zip, you look attractive and slim from your photos so nothing bizarre going on!

But isn't it just awful when you look at yourself and don't recognise who you are - does anyone else feel like that or are you all much younger than me you lucky things!

[littlewoman]

And I think it's completely inspiring for all the single girls here that you've found love (or somefin) at 50. Hope that doesn't sound awful, but people think you have to be young. You don't have to be young. I'm really glad for you. Lovely, hopeful story.

[zippitippitoes]

you cant keep your bra on lol

[mocca]

No it doesn't sound awful at all littlewoman, I do feel so much younger and no way I was going to give up on ever having a man around. It's not as if I need one, I just want one.

I'm very, very scared of getting hurt but I know that if I don't take a risk, nothing's going to happen. And if it doesn't work out, I'm not going to die, have been through so much crap already...

[mocca]

And I have to keep my bra on, I have 34F boobs, not a pretty sight when unfettered!