Hello.
My daughter is 3 and a half. I work only 7 hours a week (currently). No career prior to childbirth as history of illness. Ex pointless and weird choice - (not pointless, clearly, in terms of sperm, but in every other respect). Expectations of career success and 'ordinary middle-class' aspiration. Posh private education, with all people I went to school with married to billionaires. Living in a (quite nice) council house with little one. No longer ill. No great plans as to career etc - never knew what I wanted to do. Now only want to be mildly interested and earn decently at some point.
I'm at a crossroads. I've lost my chutzpah. I don't go out - even if I have something arranged, invariably I cancel. Started the online dating thing, apologetic about my 'station' and bank balance. Couldn't really present myself without wanting to run away and apologise, or risk being construed as an anomaly.
Very lonely.
Drinking too much.
DD fine.
Don't know what to do.
This isn't clinical depression, more circumstance-schtuck. I don't fit social boxes. There are some nice people around here, but from very different backgrounds. Those from similar backgrounds don't live round here. I'm caught and sad and don't know what to do.
Thanks in anticipation. Don't even know what I'm asking for: but have nowhere else to go with this.
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19 replies
Oneday · 15/03/2008 15:58
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