Crappy date last night :( It wasn't me was it???

[davidtennantsmistress]

with NG - as he now is (after a month, 4 days and copious phone conversations) anyhoo,

went out with him last night - and just to make sure it isn't me being stupid....

we arrived, and he was a bit offish (apparently tired)anyhow, went to one bar, which annoyed him due to the music, another one was wrong because the people in there were really loud and noisey, then there was the third, which was quite but ok.

he said apparently my top was 'too skin tight' and no one likes bumps wasn't aiming it am apparently talking in general about himself! then he was asking about my money and how I manage/can afford to go out & go shopping etc. how exactly is it anything to do with him at this stage? anyhoo, then he says he's too old for me (that old chestnut!) at 38, and 26, is just a 'young adult' and i'm bearly an adult WTF???

then he said i'm sorry i'm tired, followed by a big hug & I really want to see you again. it just really annoyed me that cos he was 'in a mood to say as he liked' he did, and when I said I found his comment about me being a young adult offensive and quite frankly rude he said 'it was meant to be'

so it wasn't me was it - he was an edgit?

[sonicdeathmonkey]

He sounds like a keeper

Seriously, would get shot asap, preferably after a good hard slap! He sounds like a grumpy twat!

[WanderingTrooley]

He sounds like an arse.

Tight top, too noisy, loud people.....are you sure he isn't 78?

[davidtennantsmistress]

thanks for confirming that he's 38. but yes an arse I think,

sent him a message this morning saying I don't appriciate being talked to like a perpetulent (sp) child. when I know damn well what it is i'm doing etc. and that I had never felt so insulted & offended in all my life!

[turquoise]

Well, I wouldn't bin him after one bad date if he's been great the rest of the time, we all have off days. Does sound a bit passive agressive though, as if he simply didn't want to be there in the first place - did you pressure him in to going out?

I'd see him again and see tread warily, if he hasn't put you off him completely (understandably!).

[davidtennantsmistress]

no not at at all. I could have done with not going out tbh.

what's passive aggressive? have just left an abusive relationship not about to go into another one.

this isn't the first time he's done this - well is when we've been together but not the first time. it annoys me thou when I say give me space & leave me alone for a day or two - he ignores that and contacts me anyway.

[turquoise]

Hmm, well if he has a pattern of being demanding, controlling, selfish, and not respecting your wishes - then I'd get rid.

Passive agressive is (very basic definition): if you don't want to do something, instead of being assertive and saying you don't want to do it, you do it anyway but sabotage it in petty ways.

[hecate]

So he critisised your clothes, called you fat (lumps comment?) tried to tell you how to run your life and when you complained, told you you were the one with the problem and you should understand his problems.

Yeah.

Run. Run run fecking RUN

[WallOfSilence]

Dump him.

Make him ExNG

[lou33]

get rid, he's wasting your time and energy

[mammyofET]

Remember that first dates are supposed to be fun. Ok there are nerves and sometimes they can be a little awkward but they should never ever involve being insulted. I would get rid.

[hecate]

That's an important point - these early days are when people are on their best behaviour because they are trying to get you interested/impress you.

Imagine 6 months or a year from now when he's comfy and he locks you in the house or throws out clothes he decides you shouldn't wear, or takes all your money because you can't be trusted to handle it.

[skyatnight]

Get rid. Definitely some red flags there.

[brimfull]

He's condescending,patronising,grumpy and rude..why would you want to go out with him again.
You deserve better...get rid of him.

[Nighbynight]

Run before you're deeper involved. I agree, early in the relationship, he should at least be making an effort.

[nametaken]

Now you know why he's single.

[citylover]

get rid immediately sounds a f*ing nightmare.

[Lomond]

I would get rid!

[davidtennantsmistress]

lol@ name change! have gotten rid told him already. condescending yes he was that. I could see the two men sitting next to me (date was that good I started playing cards! lol) looking as if as much to say why the hell are u with that twat.

I do deserve better - and well, theres plenty more fish in the sea! lol.

the more i'm thinking about it today the more i'm realising he was rude, obnoxious and offence, not to mention very insulting. he can be lovely (don't get me wrong) and I know he has ishooos but FFS we don't all go around acting like nob heads do we!!

but yes he's gone.

[lou33]

well done

[davidtennantsmistress]

he has asked to keep my email/phone no, and might get in touch some time. but i've said i'll be seein other people so it's up to him if he wants to ring.

[brimfull]

see he's just got to have the last word...might get in touch!..you should have said "don't bother!"

he is up his own arse

[ladytophamhatt]

whats NG?