Can you join me in this light hearted thread pls?

[Creole]

I want to start this thread to show some of the things ex partners have done (and continue to do) to make life difficult!

My ex left his job so he wouldn't pay maintenance. I think this is common and nothing new.

My friends ex also did the same, but now charges my friend for "babysitting" his OWN kids.

My cousin's ex refused to look after HIS son, by going out and leaving the child ALONE in the house - well, the child was sleeping!

Can you guys beat this?

I guess I wanted to start this because I still couldn't get over how some people can be soo evil.

[Creole]

anyone else?

[pirategirl]

my dd aged 5 used to come home filthy.

she told me last week that his gf, ( sometime last summer)blew her nose in dd's top (when they were in the car) and cried into it.

'this is one of the ways she has hurt my feelings mummy'

and he wonders why dd has refused to go and stay over for months now.

[OverMyDeadBody]

Gosh, not so lighthearted is it?

My ex works cash in hand so he doesn't have to pay maintanance.

A few years ago he made a big deal out of buying DS a brithday present and sending it to us. It never arrived . He then called to see if it had arrived, saying "did you get the present?" I asked what present, he said "the one I sent to DS, it was a toy" , hmm "but what was the toy?" I asked. He got annoyed, said "Don't be difficult, why are you quesationing me? It was a toy from elc, in a box, blue I think" . What a twat, he could have at least thought of a toy to pretend to have bought to give gis story a bit more credibility!

[MascaraOHara]

mine hasn't worked or claimed benefits for months at a time

used to turn up in my garden very early on a sunday morning snd shout at the outside of my house that I was a cunt and was abusing my dd by not letting her see him

met me to drop her back once with her asleep in the front seat over the handbrake with no car seat and no seatbelt (she was 2 at the time)

has fed her McD's and coke on a number of occassions before she was 2 purely because he knew I didn't approve and thought it completely unecessary

hmmm let me think of some more... then I'll come back.

[pirategirl]

this isnt so lighthearted is it.

i will have a think too.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

dd's father walked out when she was 3 months old because he had decided that 'fatherhood wasn't for him'

He has never paid a penny maintenance. He said that it wasn't his duty to and he decided that instead of giving me money, he would provide clothes and nappies (whilst she was a baby). I think I got a couple of very shoddy dresses and a couple of packs of nappies before that one fizzled out.

He moved 150 miles away when she was older, in order to have him see her I used to take her halfway (he moved from North Devon to Birmingham; I used to meet him in Bristol. I then had to give him £10 for his petrol. I was so bloody weak and lily-livered that I put up with it in order for my dd to have a relationship with her father.

He then got married and had another baby when dd was 5. The visits grew more and more seldom.

I took her all the way to his house in Birmingham once, I was grudgingly allowed in the house to use the loo. Whole house filled with pictures of exp's family, new wife and new son. Not one picture of my dd (even though I had given him loads, always gave him a school pic etc).

I decided soon after that I was sick of having my dd so poorly valued in his eyes, she hasn't seen him since (last time she saw him was when she was about 7, she is now 12).

Absolute, utter bastard.

Hmm, not so light hearted is it {grin}

[Creole]

yep, let's make it lighthearted, for therapy purposes...

But I am shocked though, that these men can get away with behaving like this to their kids.

[IdreamofClooney]

My Ex:

Didn't used to change DS's nappy all day whenever he looked after him and frequently dropped him off at my work with a dirty nappy

Refused to buy a potty for his home when DS was potty trained and asked the nursery to put him in a nappy as it was "more convenient"

Cleared out aour old joint bank account which had only child tax credits and child allowance in it and spent it all on himself after we split up. HE does not agree this is wrong as "He didn;t ahve any money"

Was supposed to look after DS on his two days off but kept not turnign up to collect him (slept in in drunken stupor) so now I have to pay for nursery for DS as his dad is too lazy to get out of bed to look after his own son.

Gives DS a dummy to "shut him up" when he does look after him, so now DS wants his dummy all the time as opposed to just at bed time

I could go on but am too depressed

Now why is he my ex?

[Creole]

Oh, just remembered this one, my ex once denied paternity when the CSA contacted him. We eventually came to an agreement (which he never stuck too!) but the agreement was on condition that he contact the CSA and retract his statement.

I called them up to make sure he'd phoned, which he had

[pirategirl]

getorfmoiland (hijack)

how is your dd, how has it been not seeing her dad the last 5 yrs? for her? does she talk about him now?
just wondering as i am in similar sitch, habvving spent 3 yrs making ex see her, and caring about her contact with her dad.

now she is refusing to see him, for past 3 months. she is 5.

[lostdad]

Oh...not light-hearted but...

• Got her father to call the police on me because I wanted to take my son for a walk in his pushchair.
• Refused any contact between our son and me whatsoever for 17 weeks, it only starting when the court ordered her (4 1/2 months old when she left). And when in court, she argued that he didn't know me.
• Refused to let me spend time with son outside a contact centre, even though he screamed the place down because he hated it. And then said he screamed because he was scared of me.
• Refused me a couple of hours extra over Christmas, which would have enabled me to take my son to see his grandfather who wasn't allowed to travel, having just suffered a heart attack.
• Accused both my parents of being incapable of caring for our son.
• As a result of all the above, three court hearings, a lot of money my son is now permitted to see me for four hours per week.

I could go on for pages along these lines. Light hearted thread...?

[mummyofaprincess]

when my xp walked out on me DD then 2 and baby bump for OW he took my bank card with him, he left us with no gas, electric or food, and no money at all!!

I had to stay at my dad and step moms for a few days, i then went to get my bank card back and he had maxed it out so it was over the over draft the bank then charged me for something i didnt do.<br /> <br /> I later found out he had spent all the money on himself and OW, going out, cinema etc etc<br /> <br /> Gosh i can go on but i wont <br /> <br /> Its madness what these men put there children through.<br /> <br /> He has now told me that the LO whos due in april was a mistake, so 3 cheers for my ex please he`s so nice

[mummyofaprincess]

sorry lostdad i didnt mean you, i wished my xp was like you, my xp wouldnt fight for our DCs i don`t think, well what he said about LO says it all really doesnt it

[bigmommyof2]

I asked my XH for some money to put towards a carseat for DD. He told me he would give me some the following week - I forked out 140 for her car seat (had to get one that the sides adjusted in as she is so narrow - 3 1/2 and 24 lbs due to problems eating) he went out and bought DD + DS a bike the following week!! (I was going to buy them a bike but used the money for the car seat instead and had to tell DD + DS that the bikes would have to wait!!)still waiting - but its nice to know he had to get one up on me instead of his daughters safety

[bigmommyof2]

on a light hearted note - I love the fact I have DD + DS coming into my bed every night (at least they dont snore, fart and moan like XH did !!)

[macdoodle]

mine doesn't seem that bad in comparison...
BUT couldn't take DD1 to rainbows the other night cos he was BUSY.....BUSY in pub playing skittles so I had to take 5 week old DD2 out twice in cold and dark to take DD1 to a loved activity

[wibblyswobbly]

well mine dangled my dd [when she was 3 mths] over a balcony [4 floors up] and threatened to drop her, doesnt pay towards her but cries into his beer all the time because i am such a bitch and have stopped him seeing her.... really?? i would kill for a weekend/night off but do i get it? noooo. robinsons beer however have had a sharp upturn in their profits since we split up lol.

[littlewoman]

Mine takes the kids out often because he could not live with himself if he didn't. He sees himself as a fantastic father (which he wasn't when he was here, he was a filthy tempered bastard,but if he is nice to the kids that means the fault in our relationship was with me, and was not that he couldn't handle being a dad - if you see what I mean). Anyway, when he takes the kids out, he makes them recite Shakespeare plays to his friends, and recite long lists of capital cities for his friends amazement. He is a total narcissist and completely cracks me up

[PurpleOne]

Macdoodle, my exh couldn't even take dd1 and 2 to brownies /rainbows because it was now against his newly converted religion to even go near a church hall!
My exh only takes the kids out under sufferance. He don't pay much maintenance (he lied to CSA) his new wife assaulted my daughter in her own home on her sisters birthday.

I rang him tonight after going to parents eve for dd1. She has really turned herself around, putting her head down, doing homework so I told him she deserved a pocket money raise. dd1 currently gets £3 a week from exh (and dd1 is now 12) He told me he'd raise it by 50p a week by March 1st.

He deliberatley converted his religion to get out of buying dd1 and 2 birthday / xmas presents, yet due to his lack of financial input I had to go back to work..then comes here and slags me down due to the state of my house (housework not being done due to working now).

Does anyone guess that I hate him? dd1 now hates him too. Says he's a 'complete tosser'! Out of the mouths of babes!

[Prettyfull]

I found out my xp was cheating on me from the time i was pregnant right through the whole relationship! I didnt find out until dd was 2!!

He never did a thing for dd, used to make lame excuses as to why he couldnt feed her as a baby, bath her, play games or why he couldnt face changing her nappy! Used to leave her in her highchair with choc while he'd play on the PC

anyway,..skipping a few years so we split up......

Things had gone down hill with XP treating us like crap, arranging to meet us so he could spend time with DD to let us down and with his false promises.
On dd's 3rd bday he turned up an hour late AFTER her party with no present or card. He then took us to Argos as i said he really should buy dd sumthing, so she picked out 2 In the Night Garden toys and was over the moon as she was really in to In the night Garden, they went to pay.....Dd then came up to me crying her eyes out as daddy had changed his mind and said she cant have them, his reason being "she doesnt actually like them toys" grrrrrr
He wanted to come see dd purely so he could ask her questions about my life including "has mummy been going out with men" & "does mummy have a man round to take her from behind" ewwwwwwww god he makes me sick,...luckily we'v been split a year and half now and i can see the 'lighthearted' side of all this. Hes just got married and doesnt bother with us anymore, which is def for the best!!!

[mummyfantastico]

We used to have just one car seat for dd2 and whoever was taking her in their car used the seat.
Then when xh left he wanted to take "his" car seat because it wasn't mine.
I thought it was dd2s, and was shocked that xh wouldn't prefer her to be safe

[goingbonkers]

Creole- My ExP sounds just like yours with job hopping, denying paternity etc!! Sadly they get away with it! I've given up being angry over it. Now I just laugh. Def better off without these irresponsible tossers!

I know there are nice guys out there somewhere... C'mon guys.... Where are you all hiding??

[singledadofthree]

i'm here!!! frantically waving over the internet