GRRR Ex and family please help!!!

[shelleylou]

My ex and i have been separted since august, been tryin to be civil 2 him for the sake of our son. Cant do it any more, ive been given so much hassle of him n his mum abusive texts and phone calls, ive had to change my house number to avoid it all down to me thinkin of his contact with our son. Has anyone got any suggestions how to handle this situation or help me cope with it, i just dont want to have contact with him in anyway but not fair 2 stop son from seein him. Help!!!
Thanks

[snotbuster]

Could you 'handover' your son in a neutral place? eg. you take him to your parents' place (if they're near that is) leave, and then your ex picks him up from there so you don't actually see each other. Just an idea,
I'm in very similar situation and this is what people keep suggesting to me but, as I don't have family in town, we have started handing over in a local corner shop.
Would see a solicitor asap too and tell them all about this abusive behaviour - maybe a letter from them would help stop it or you may have to take things further through the courts.
Good luck and stay strong. xx

[leoleo]

what are they being abusive about i you get what i mean.. what are they saying?
Tell his mum you deal with him and only him.

[shelleylou]

thanks for ur suggestions i really appreciate it. Im going to try and get an appointment with a solicitor 2morrow see wat advice they can give me. Hes picking my son up from my mums so i dont c him. im getting hassle over anything and everything. Ive been tyold i dont discipline my son and thats y they get the naughtiness there when its the other way round as he misbehaves when he comes home, i dont feed him properly im turning out like his ex. HIs mum is and always has been interfering from wat i should do to my son etc shes even told my mum b4 that shes going to get my son as he shouldnt be with me especially as i had pnd at the time.

[mummyfantastico]

What a cow
Just rise above it and be glad you're not in a relationship with him anymore (easier said than done!)

[leoleo]

Well tell her to take up any 'issues' she has with ex and you only deal with him.
When you are dealing with him and he is being akward repeat in head 'tosser..tosser..' and it will drown out his patheticness.
His mum sounds like she thinks that is supporting her son. Well she needs to consider what is does to her grandson.
When you see a solictor get them to outline when and how they can contact you. I read a good book available on amazon called 'putting the kids first' it might be worth sending your ex and his mum a copy and it will give you ways to cope with these situations.
Good luck

[shelleylou]

Thanks everyone!!!
Shes a 2 faced b*h! Made an appointment with a solicitor today so im going there next friday afternoon thankfully ive got my parents support with this or it would be so much harder to do. I found out through a bit of internet research that xp shouldnt be doing anything that i would really disagree with so im hoping thats true so i can get some of his routine kept when hes with them. I didnt want to get solicitors etc involved but feel i have to its nice to know from people away from the problem that I am doing the right thing. I know this is goig to go down like a lead balloon with most of his family but sod it ds welfare is what matters and if they cant see that then hes better off without them.
Thanks again
xx

[shelleylou]

Just thought id let you know appointment at solicitors went well. Dont have to meet half of the demads my ex is making. Spoke to him on phone earlier so he could talk 2 ds and was the bigger person and let his mum have a word too. Even though iu was quitely sniggering as ds wouldnt talk to her. hehe

[CarGirl]

Glad you've made progress. a wise solicitor once advised me give them enough rope and they hang themselves - and they did!

[lostdad]

A wise solicitor is an oxymoron.

Cunning is more apt - the more you argue, the more they earn.

[shelleylou]

Thanks, My ex wouldnt need much rope he hasnt got enough intelegance to use a longer piece lol. I must admit i am finding it rather fun to piss on his fire so to speak. I was clever only went for the free consulation (kept that quite from my ex told him id been doing some thinking). Well why shouild i give me ammunition.

[CarGirl]

lostdad it was a fixed fee consultation he was fabulous he basically explained she was trying it on to arrange on contact in writing she wouldn't stick to the arrangements she wouldn't have a leg to stand in. The solicitor said at this stage we didn't need legal representation but just to record everything that went on in case she didn't hang herself quickly enough!!!

[lostdad]

OK - I take it back...there are some good solicitors. Fixed fee plans are good - it is in the solicitor's interest to get things dealt with quickly and not dragging out things so they make more money, hearing after hearing.

[lostdad]