Just got husband's financial disclosure for the divorce - need advice

[greeneyedgirl]

Ok, it's a mess. He has bought a flat way beyond his means, has a massive loan and then 2 credit cards he has not disclosed information about.

My solicitor is really worried and says it is going to be very difficult to get my dd's full entitlement to child maintenance from him. Currently get £200 a month, although only started paying in Nov as he had cancelled it when he found out I was dating someone.

Anyway, he has basically been living it up, 3 week foreign holiday (luxury, tropical), flights to Ireland to see his (ex) GF, also has been to Europe a few times to see extended family. Also found out he has been spending loads on clothes and stuff!!

To top it off, he told me he had a tummy bug this weekend and so couldn't have our dd (he has her every other w/e), and I have just found out (although cannot prove) that he wasn't ill, which I did suspect, but that he went out with someone. I am so mad on my dd's behalf.

My question is, if he cannot support his dd financially (or bloody emotionally actually), what sort of visitation is he entitled to? I don't want to punish him or make things worse for dd, but I need to do something. She is always a nightmare when she gets back from him, which I always feel terribly guilty for. I am rambling I know, I just am not sure where I stand here. Am waiting for the solicitor to call back.

[cosima]

bump

[MamaG]

finances won't make any difference at all to hte contact he'll get, sorry

[titchy]

Financial support and visitation should be kept seperate - you can't punish him or your dd long term by denying her a relationship with her dad just cos he's an arse who doesn't pay his way.

can you take a share of his flat?

[Tinkerbel6]

maintenace isnt linked to access, he can pay nowt and still be entitled to see his child, what is the full entitlement to maintenance ? £200 per month is quite good for 1 child does he have a well paid job and isnt paying the full 15% ?

[greeneyedgirl]

I won't stop him from seeing her, of course not, but he is being a total idiot at the moment. Got into a major mood last week when I declined his advances to get bck with him, so i got loads of insulting texts and then he lied about being ill so that he didn't have to have dd last weekend. Think he thought it may be way to stop me going out.

Thing is she is awful when she gets back from his, I don't think she sleeps well as she has to sleep in his bed due to lodgers being in the spare room. He is always saying how she never gets up till around 9 or 10, that is just not normal for her.

To be honest, I don't care if he never pays me again, and yes he can see her, but I really don't feel he has the right to make any decisions about her. He was seeing her once in the the week as well as every other weekend, but he dropped this saying he was too busy. I have tried everything to be as accommodating as possible to him, but I am just sick of the way he treats me. I phoned him the other day and spoke to me like I was crap on his shoe.

Bloody fed up!

[greeneyedgirl]

Oh he earns about £29,000, but due to his flat and holidays and stuff, I don't know how he can sustain it!

[Twinkie1]

You go to the CSA - he will have to pay 20% of income minus a percentage for the nights he has her regardless of what his outgoings are.

I have been divorced for years and DD still comes back from XHs tired and grissly - she is 7 - we have had to learn to live with it - hopefully he will see one day that his daughter is the only one being hurt!

[greeneyedgirl]

I just don't understand him, most of our marriage he was lazy (around the house)and manipulative and it was much worse after dd was born. I only hope he improves as she grows up,as I really want her to have a good relationship with him.

I just want to put all this behind me and be happy.