Thanks everyone

[LoneLou]

Especially pinguthepenguin!! that comment you put on my last thread 'help advice needed urgently' was great, admittedly at the minute I feel so low (going to docs later) but that comment helped me soooo much I haven't really stopped crying, not in front of DS though. It's made me realise everything really, how we could never ever get back together, how I can never ever trust him again.

Last nite when X dropped ds off I text X to find out what ds had eaten coz didn't want to talk to him he decided to ring me why?????
We were having a civil conversation about ds saying how he seems happy and then X started asking me questions about how I found out how long they were actually seeing each other I told him not to go there I just wanted to talk about ds nothing else obviously we ended up having a row and I put the phone down on him thinking this is my time with ds I don't bother him when he's with ds so why should he bother me.
In the argument he threatened the usual stuff getting custody, but what I don't understand about this is I have never once said, even at my angriest moment, that I would ever stop him seeing ds, so why does he have to go on about custody? he also said that he would get custody coz my medical history (I had depression, PND etc). How can he be so nasty? after evrything he's done and what we've been through in the 7 years we had together, surely I think to myself that it should be me thats angry not him.

He's just messing with my head!!

[LoneLou]

How are you allgonebellyup? after that comment?

[Tinkerbel6]

you are better off asking the ex questions on the hand over and then leave it at that, dont give him any more ammunition to get to you by dragging the conversation out any longer, you child wont be taken off you cause you have suffered PND, tell him his access will come under review everytime he gets aggressive and you will lodge it with a solicitor.

[LoneLou]

Thats what I try to do tinkerbel but I'm so desperate to shut the door on him I forget to ask vital questions. My ds is quite sneaky (like alot of other young children) he'll tell me he's hungry just before going to bed, so he can delay his bed time, obviously I need to know what he's eaten in case he's trying it on with me, ds doesn't tell me what he's eaten either.

I'll think about putting his access under review actually if he doesn't just appreciate the fact that he sees ds everyday and some dads don't even get to see their children every other day maybe

[mummyofaprincess]

lonelou my xp say the same things in an arguement aswell.

Im sure he doesnt mean it as he only says it in the heat of the moment doesnt he?<br /> <br /> I think hes trying to get to you though, so please dont let him, im so sick of my xp to be honest.

So and for you at the moment, how dare he throw the PND in your face

I hope your feeling a bit better now x

[LoneLou]

yes mummuyofaprincess I was really upset and really disappointed that he could bring that up, I mean I'd been feeling so good and happy (before the split) and he just brings me crashing back down.

I am feeling better my sister has agreed to do the handing over bit for me until I can get over him.

[mummyfantastico]

Lou, you are not alone, my xh is a total shit almost every time i speak to him, even though it was his decision to have the affair, leave me and dds, not bother much about contact etc etc. It is easier to avoid communication with him as much as possible, although obviously sometimes it is inevitable.
Your sister doing the handing over bit is a brilliant move, it will help you so much.

[LoneLou]

Well I thought it would be better with my sister but yesterday when I got back, coz I tried to delay getting home incase I bumped into him, he was there turned up late. We exchanged the usual about ds and I went walking to the house whilst he was saying his goodbyes and he shouted me back and asked if he could have some paper???????????? I obviously asked why hasn't she got any at her house he just said he hasn't, how much does paper cost, he keeps reminding me how loaded he is!!! whay can't he leave me alone????

[mummyofaprincess]

lonelou when my xp comes and sees dd he wants me to let him go on my pc, or hes saying oh im so hungry (well im not going to cook for you!!!)

I dont understand these men at all.<br /> <br /> Your sister handing over DS is a very good move, but him turning up late isnt on, my xp turns up late when times are arrainged so i also have that problem!

I think they like talking about them selves

"he keeps reminding me how loaded he is" my xp says simular things, they try and make us jealous about there so called good lives without us, but to be honest i think its all lies!!

Hope your feeling better today

[allgonebellyup]

hi thanks for asking about me, its ds birthday today so ex has been hassling us on the phone which is understandable.
im just going to have as little contact as possible, no texts, no calls, i realise it is totally over now.
He says i have hurt him too much to ever come back (i did used to walk all over him)and i finally want to move on.
i am even considering letting ds move in with ex as he loves him so much and then i wont get all the grief. not sure yet.

Dont know what to suggest lou, but my ex will also go on about my "psycho" phase after i had ds where i was impossible to live with (its called PND, dear)

[LoneLou]

We sound very much alike allgonebellyup, pnd and how are x's are. I went docs yesterday and basically told him everything, he's very understanding, he knew us both quite well. he was very shocked by it all and couldn't believe he could do that after all we've been through together, he called him selfish and basically offered to back me up if it ever came to it and he also offered me the chance to come and talk to him anytime I want, which is very nice.
I went docs coz I'm very scared, conscious (i'm not sure) of going back down the depression path, and what X has said has definitely played on my mind. I know I am the best parent to look after ds and so does doc so thats all that matters.
Hate is a very strong word but I really dislike X very much (at the minute).
Going out possibly friday night, if I can get babysitter, can't wait just what I need (hopefully!)