oh feck i'm scared

[TLV]

Scared of being a lone parent, scared of what my future holds, what my dd's future holds, will I ever meeting anyone again, can i ever trust anyone again after what dh has done, i'm just scared

When dh left it was because I didn't do this that or the other, didn't go out enough, watched my soaps, didn't entertain people at home, didn't respect him or his work, basically he blamed me we argued he walked, everytime i've tried to talk to him we argued more and i'm disgusted to say in front of our dd sometimes, last night was the nail in the coffin he was downright abusive to me. I walked 5mile home with dd last night after trying to calm him down and talk he called this morning and I flatly refused to talk to him infact told him to go through his solicitor now (i should add the relationship was never an abusive one) how could something that was full of love be so full of hatred now.

I feel totally lost like out at sea without a paddle, part of me just wants to dive straight in the water (if that makes sense?) I'm really really scared and I feel so alone

[sasquatch]

Hi TLV, sorry to hear you're feeling low, From your post I think youre saying you've already seperated from dh. Is that recent. IME being a lone parent is not as scary as staying in an abusive or unhappy relationship. As to what the future holds, I would say we dont know, and never will. you can make plans same now as you could with your dh, they still might or might not happen. people here will always offer support .

[TLV]

he's been gone almost 3mths and i've hoped he would come back, i thought we had a good relationship (obviously I was wrong) what hurts the most is that he never gave me a chance to prove that it could be better, yes we argued like any other married couple but it was never really that bad, my dh i think may have issues from his previous marriage or perhaps from childhood he doesn't talk about things and never could stomach arguing (well who can) my dd has lost out because of what he has done

[sasquatch]

It does sound as though he is angry about something else doesnt it? Have you considered couple counselling? At the moment, or last night you were still talking, hopefully you can get back to some reasonable peace for your daughters sake.
It sounds like you really want to make something work.

[TLV]

I do want to make it work, always have done, I hate quitting especially when there is so much at stake but I think he holds so much resentment at the moment that nothing can get past it don't most marriages get stuck in a rut and why can't some people want to try to get out of them instead of walking away

[mummyofaprincess]

TLV im also scared for mine, DDs and LOs future.

My dd went to nursery today, the first day without me there with her and now im sitting here feeling sorry for myself.<br /> <br /> I really miss the old XP, hes changed so much, he will never come back to me though as he has moved on as soon as i found out about the OW he just up and went, sold the family car and put a deposite on a house for him her and her best mate

XP is also like your DH he is so mad with me and he shouts at me infront of DD even when i say to stop it your upsetting DD.

I hope everything works out for you in the future.

I`ve been single now for 2 months

[MuthaHubbard]

I know it may sound harsh, but you have to remember that these guys are no longer the guys that you first met and fell in love with. They have changed. You will always think back to how good it was before but it will never be like that again unfortunately.

Maybe hating them for the person they are now, rather than longing for the person they were, may help? It can do you good to get angry, well does me good anyway! Can help you focus on what YOU want for you and your dc.

[OverMyDeadBody]

Agree with MuthaHubbard about the men changing. I think when you first seperate you go through a mourning phase, after all you have lost someone whom you where once close to. I think you need to accept the loss for what it is, something you will never have again with that person. Mourn the loss but don't dwell on it, focus on the future and all the good things that will happen, all the possibilities that are out there for you and your kids.

I'm really sorry you are both feeling scared and alone right now, things will get better though, and life will go on. You will come out of i stronger person. I love being a single parent, there are so many benefits!

I know it's really hard, but try to focus on the positive!

[mummyofaprincess]

I should have put really that i don`t want him back but i do miss the old xp, its so to see him change into this horrible nasty hurtfull person, he is also angry and spitefull

I am so angry at him for treating me and my DCs this way

[pirategirl]

its natural and fine to be scared, all this is not what you were expecting.

I don't like beingon my own, but i have learnt that as time goes by it gets less scary, and that I AM capable of holding our lives together, becuase of my love for my child.

Its very sad to expereince someone changing so much.