Can't decide wether this is good news or not

[nutcracker]

Xp has just rung to tell me he has been offered a 1 bed flat about 2 min from here (tis actually in the same block as my mum).

He has been offered it over the phone and should recieve a letter confirming the offer within 2 weeks. I am not telling the kids until he has it in writing.

I am pleased for the kids sake, but not sure if I am for my sake, I have a feeling he might make a nuscience of himself

[LoveMyGirls]

Thats good, just put your foot down and start as you mean to go on.

[nutcracker]

Oh yeah I will, infact have already said to him that I am pleased, so long as he keeps his nose out of my business. He took offence at that

I did also say that I will be expecting loads more help with the kids, but that i meant him having them at his not him coming to mine.

He didn't sound impressed with that either.

[lomond]

Could go both ways couldn't it? Hope it works out well for your kids sake.

[nutcracker]

Yeah I agree, it will really depend on his attitude towards having the kids more and wether he cam keep his nose out of my life.

Why is it that when you request a little space, they automatically assume that you have a bloke on the scene

[nutcracker]

Have to say, I feel quite uneasy about it since he told me.

[pirratePiggy]

hmm, bit too close for comfort, I think. Not much help to you in me saying that, but you nkow the pitfalls with him.

I guess you have to assert yourself now, get soem resolve. As I am trying to do atm.

[nutcracker]

Well I have decided what I will be requesting from him once he is in and sorted with furniture.

I will be asking him to have them one week day evening for tea, and overnight on fridays until Sat after lunch.
If he dares to say no, he can go dissapear for all I care.

When I was with him, we had his kids overnight every Friday without fail, if he can't do it for our kids then I don't want to know him anymore.

Of course, it's not that he doesn't want to have them, it's that he knows if they are with him, I am free to have some sort of life.

[nutcracker]

Well I am going to suggest to xp later what arrangements we will have for when he has moved.

I know he will try and say it is to soon to discuss it, but I want it sorting so that I can get some sort of life.

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[nutcracker]

Thanks aimsmum, hopefully he will agree but I am not hopful, as he seems to think that as he will be so close, he can either a)babysit them at mine if i want to go out, or b)have them at his until their bedtimes and then bring them home.

I don't want to do either of those things.

As far as I am concerned, he won't need to come round here at all other than to collect them or drop them off. I am fed up of having him sitting in my living room for hours, it's like he still lives here.

[Blu]

Wait until he has the flat and has signed the contract before you start negotiating etc.

[nutcracker]

He has an offer in writing now, and tbh I don't want to leave it because I want it sorted for my peace of mind, and plus because I know he is going to try and get out of it.

[nutcracker]

Well I discussed it with him, and after him moaning a bit, he agreed.

It is however still plainly obvious that he thinks he is still part of my life in a way that means he can moan about me going out etc, so we did have words about that.

He also asked me to marry him, and I think he was only half joking. Obviously I said no way and told him to go and get a life.